The Ingham Family #244 No one is judging your children. Everyone is judging you.

[bunnys]

Hope this formatted correctly. Just got a response from the Hello Fresh Twitter account.

 

[Yel]

Updated the spreadsheet of Ingham views - I've accounted for privated and unprivated videos that skew the public stats. Only up a bit compared to recent months with all the holidays and the long term trend is still very much down.

Worth noting also that advertising rates are down around 10% July 2022 on July 2021 so with that and high inflation it would still be a huge reduction even if the views are the same as last July.

They got around 1/3rd fewer views this July compared to last year.

Getting ever closer to not making min wage on views.

 

[slmapg]

Hello fresh? More like hello fucking shrek!

 

[Impleo]

Aint that what drunk men do when they are trying to hit on women in the clubs. Creepy vibes big time

I think he's always been a straight to the tit than a hair man in clubs. He'd get arrested and/or knocked out if he did that round here.

As long as it got him a fumble in the toilets I guess anything goes

And for any Ifam, yes that was him - Mr 'bad boy kinky pics'. Sarah was at home looking after baby Esme.

Spot the micro penis and win a prize of some eye bleach.

 

[thegreencow]

Congratulations @JustHereForTheAgriculture for you comment and thank you @Asparagus123 for suggesting it as a title.

TLDR
- The new caravan was picked up and Chris and Sarah decided to splash out on new awning to show off their bank balance.
- Another caravan holiday to Mablethorpe for the richest people in Lincolnshire.
- Mila celebrated her first birthday with way more presents than a one year old needs.
- Chris has been kicked out of the marital caravan bed and made to sleep in the awning. He was excited to spy on other campers.
- Sarah congratulated the lionesses on their historic win... and included a photo of a male lion in the post. Female lions don't have manes or balls (much like your husband) you thick bint.
- Sarah did an Instagram Q&A and sent herself all the questions. She will never show us her children's school work because people will criticise it. She wants to take Jace to Disney. She is the best person to teach her children. She admitted her children don't go to bed until 10/11pm.
- Chris and Sarah tried to prank their children into thinking Mila needed further treatment on her hips. She doesn't and no longer needs her brace.
- Jace is never getting his hair cut until Sarah gives him permission. He will be Prince Rapunzel by the time he's 10 and lower his hair from the rooms above the garages of doom. His hairline is still receding but Sarah is more concerned about taking him to Disney.
- Sarah keeps hinting about having another baby, which may be named Cove or Covey. She is jealous that Katrina is knocked up and expecting a baby boy.
- Sarah called us losers in the vlog. She almost cried over some shopping she lost.

Hi Steve The Love Island final is tonight. Do you think your son could be a bombshell one day? Who could resist that hot, sexy dad bod?

Credit to @slmapg

 

[honeybeetulip]

Isla’s hair looks gorgeous. Can you believe Lazy was hoping to do the fringe without a trim?? The hairdresser insisted she have a wash and trim too and wouldn’t just cut the front. Lazy you cheap cow.

 

[JustHereForTheAgriculture]

Honoured, thrilled and excited to have been chosen as the title thread.
I would like to thank @Asparagus123 and all you lovely Tattlers for this. I promise I will not let this success go to my head.

Also me:

 

[Anni1312]

He said his stud thing fell off his nose piercing ......... not even that wanted to stay with him

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Ill watch if they break down again

Ahhhh memories

 

[Old Banger Bett]

Hello Fresh? Hello Fatso!

 

[littlelady009]

Ketrina has removed Leah’s name from the family channel.

 

[Kat5998]

Sorry for the lateness of posting this. My laptop had had a few issues with audio the past 24 hours. Not ideal as I have an important zoom call to make tomorrow but fingers crossed it's all resolved now. My theory is it got a little fed up with Lazy's screeching and just couldn't be bothered with that shit today.

THE RIDE THAT NEARLY KILLED ME! (INSTANT REGRET!)

Lazy starts the vlog with the Hello Fresh ad. They've been trying out Hello Fresh recently to make her slop. It stops her queueing up at the supermarket and forgetting ingredients.

Back to the trip. They're heading home tomorrow. Lazy thought she would do a tour of the caravan and show us how they do everything. She will show us where everyone sleeps tonight. They have more than enough space in the caravan.

At the front of the 8ft wide caravan there is the sofa, where Isabelle and Esme sleep. Lazy loves the window and that the TV placement is there because everyone can see it. Jace is eating a tube of pringles. The girls use the cupboards for their bits and bats. The LOL Dolls have their own section. A cupboard is taken up with "breads" and there are loads of snacks and crisps in about five other cupboards. The dinning table, Lazy's favourite part, fits everyone around it. The table lowers to make another bed.

The kitchen has so much space. There is a free standing table for the living area. There is a big oven. Creepstopher has dropped a towel in the cupboard below the oven and put pans and potatoes on top so they don't scratch the floor. Another massive cupboard is full of more towels. Lazy loves the section under the sink with a proper "utility" (utensil) drawer. In the cupboard below is cleaning products and matches. The cupboard next to it has the cheese grater, sharp knives and bits and bats. On the shelf below is salt and oils with the toilet cleaner and cleaning products behind it. They have a matching kettle and toaster but the toaster is away because of the air conditioning unit. There are more cupboards full of plates and cups. The fridge is humungous but a mess. The girls raid the fridge for ras-puh-breeze and leave it a mess. You need a big fridge with a big Lazy family.

Behind the dinning table is another cupboard and drawers. Creepstopher has gone for a shower but normally his toiletry bag is in one of these drawers. The drawer below is full of school books, story books, notebooks and games. The girls have used a cupboard for their clothes. There is a travel iron in there, toaster and nappies. In another basket is tea towels, a spare bed set, a hair dryer and washing up liquid.

The bed is hard to make so they plonk it over. It feels like a proper bedroom. The quilt is super king size. Lazy loves the storage above their bed, which it used for clothes. The cupboards are huge but almost empty as they're only away for 4 nights. Lazy loves having the TV and being able to pull the privacy curtain across. In the old caravan before Mila arrived they rarely used the partition. The girls often tell Lazy not to pull it across as they need to go to the toilet at night. Lazy shows us inside the bathroom next, her favourite part of the caravan. Of course the bathroom is massive. The shower is unused as they use the caravan park facilities. There is more cupboard space and Lazy loves how you have to open a cupboard to access the toilet roll. She loves the sink and mirror to look at her ugly bloated face.

Under the bed is more space. There are Tat and Me blankets. They used to keep clothes under the bed but Creepstopher would moan about people putting weight on the wood when reaching for their clothes so they had to climb in. There was a hatch but it didn't work great. This is the best solution. Under the bed is an umbrella, beach mats, carpets and Jace's jumper. Lazy is loving just having floor. Creepstopher wants to keep the caravan perfect but Lazy doesn't care. It freaks him out that someone could walk in with a stone and damage the floor. DISASTER ON HOLIDAY!! THIS CAUSED TEARS FROM DAD!! They're keeping the carpets off for now. There is central heating and it will be great for winter. The caravan is the best thing Lazy has bought in her whole life. They will explain the situation with Creepstopher's bed tonight.

Esme tells Lazy not to mention the tent. Isla, dressed like and hair styled like a 7 year old, has been playing with her friend, who loves Mila. Lazy shows us the park is right next to the park. 8 chuldren were sat on the floor looking at Mila. A lady came over to Isla and said Mila shouldn't have been on the swing if she didn't know how to hold on or how to use it. Too right. That lady knows the type of people these chavs are. Isla reassured her it was ok and said mummy told her it was ok. Lazy says some people just like to give their opinions. Or look out for the safety of a vulnerable child, which you have failed to so at least 50 times. If the girls don't want to share and want their own beds, Jace doesn't want to share with Isla (more like the other way around), there are attachment options for the awning. Jace says he wants to stay with Isla. Esme isn't sleeping outside.

Jace shows us his favourite cupboard, full of electrics, chargers and Jace's games. He wants to play with one. Footage of the rain. Creepstopher suggested going to the park.

Lazy threatens to disown everyone. They've come to feed the ducks and they're eating the duck bread. Esme says the bread is delicious. Creepstopher is looking pretty in pink. He calls the ducks and geese fools. Lazy tells the girls to be careful and Jace not to get too close. Prinny is with them. Jace is eating the bread. Budget David Attenborough narrates the clip by saying there are temper and calling the ducks fooooos. I wish a goose had come up to him and pecked his dinky winky. Mila is eating the bread. The sky is grey. Music to footage of the kids.

Lazy asks which ifam remembers the free fall slide. It's in Mablethorpe and they came here all the time when the girls were younger. The playpark has all the retro equipment. Lazy will be surprised if Jace goes down the slide. Esme helps him into the bag thing and Lazy (filming from the ground) tells him to hold onto the sides of it. Esme holds him under the armpits and drops him over the edge whilst Lazy cackles. Jace goes on the free fall slide again. More footage of Jace. Mila goes on the swing and then a slide with Esme. More footage of Jace. Esme goes on the free fall slide and then on the rollercoaster with Jace.

Lazy asks Jace if he's ready for the spooky train. Lazy squeals about the skeleton. Footage of Jace and Isla on the ghost train, which Jace if definitely a little too young for. Afterwards he says he didn't like it. Time for one of those car carousel rides. Lazy wanted him to go on the Spiderman car but he chose the Incredible Hulk one because he's strong.

Time for the big kids rides. The Limit is Creepstopher's worst nightmare. You couldn't pay him all the money in the world to go on it. Lazy is going on it with Esme and Isla. She screeches that it looks so much fun. Creepstopher zooms in on her and her fat belly from outside. Lazy says they might feels like rubbish when they get off. There is just a chain securing her and the girls. Lazy holds onto the bar with one hand, holding the camera in the other. Footage from the ride. Esme asks the ifam not to get screenshots. Lazy feels unwell and like she'll pass out.

The Inghams are back at the car. They had an ice cream. Lazy has no idea how she ate hers because she will never go on The Limit again. She loved it when she was younger but couldn't breathe on the ride. She felt like she would pass out. Creepstopher ended up telling the guy to bring the ride down because he was taking the "absolute p" of Lazy. LIES LIES LIES!! he was stood there happily filming the ride go around. It went on for 4 minutes and she felt like she would pass out. She wondered what she was going to tell the girls. She says it's because she's fatter and her fat boobs were crushing her heart, which felt like it was being crushed. She's proud of the girls. Isla want to do it again but Esme wouldn't. Time to head to Tesco. The camera battery is dying again and Lazy says there is an issue with it.

Creepstopher is setting up the barbeque. Jace and Isabelle look tired. Lazy films Esme, Isla and other people's children playing on the park. The other children are not blurred out and she films through the window. One of the girls' favourite things to do on holiday is make friends and stay out until dark. Now Mila is starting to crawl, none of her clothes are suitable. Her legs are getting stuck in her clothes. Lazy found an old 3-6 months jumper that she doesn't remember buying. She's taking Mila's dungarees off and putting the jumper on. She bought her a new outfit from Tesco.

Creepstopher is tending to the barbeque. Mila is sat right next to it. The girls run back for some food and are now heading back. Lazy shows us what food they're having. The burger are vegan but the lamb kebabs and chicken steaks are not. Lazy puts her wanket on. She has been to places that sell wankets that are not as thick or as long as her hers. Creepstopher says which ones are left and she tells the ifam they're on sale. The barbeque was so good. An ifam comes over to say hello and Lazy says they've met so many on the trip. There are load and loads and loads at the caravan park. Lazy is not eating the lamb because it doesn't look great.

Creepstopher says they managed to cook all the halloumi. Esme and Isla have gone to do the washing up. The girls took some halloumi and barbeque food to their mates. Creepstopher is about to show us how to set up the caravan for night time. The roller system is the cleanest he's ever used. The cushions are heavy. The pillows are stored under the dinning table. The most ingenious part of the bed is you only have to pull a lever to turn the dinning table into a bed. Creepstopher struggles "because it's new". He will show us the kids when they're in the beds. He does and says they've been watching TV.

Lazy and Creepstopher are enjoying Stranger Things. He says Mike is a G before licking his lips. They're heading home tomorrow to a massively busy week.

End of vlog

I'm pretty sure Lazy pressured Isla into getting the fringe. She's always going on about how they looked so much like her when she was the same age.
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When you see and smell your husband taking a shit, and realise you should’ve got a door put on the en-suite

 

[JustHereForTheAgriculture]

Well. Since you asked

 

[curious cookie jar]

Vidal Baboons been at it with the pizza scissors again

 

[Puppet]

No one is slagging off your children. They're commenting on how unkempt and dirty they look beause you can't be bothered to do even the bare minimum when it comes to looking after them, such as brushing their hair and washing their hands.

There's a really simple way to stop these comments. Stop sharing your children online.

 

[mags]

Do you have the one of him lined up in the car park with Shirley and his other ex-mates in about 2012? That was another one I wanted to add

Do you mean this one? It's not great quality but it's the best I can find. (You make it sound like I have a personal archive! )

I like this one too. This looks like a guy that would definitely duff you in if you creased the pages of his 'Caravan Weekly' magazine.

 

[Minniewinnie]

When you’re pretending to be asleep because creepys trying it on

 

[Puppet]

You only have to look at how well groomed they were in the early vlogs to see how much she can’t be arsed now

Yep, look at the difference.

 

[homebargainsandme]

I found tonight’s vlog really upsetting seeing Isabelle sat on the sofa looking bored shitless during the school holidays which are supposed to be the best ones of her life. Finishing your exams and having 12 weeks off school. I had a big party on the last day of school and celebrated, was out every day with my friends, went to my first music festival, it was the summer I met my boyfriend, when I think back it was the happiest time of my life. Poor girl.
Then seeing Islas huge smile when she came in from playing with her ‘friends’. It wasn’t just her bent teeth that upset me, but the fact that when she goes home she will go back to being lonely and her only interaction being with her baby siblings.
Sarah Ingham sort your shit out man. I dislike this family but my heart bleeds for those kids put them back in school and give these kids a chance for a good life. You may have fucked your own up, but don’t ruin your kids you selfish miserable bitch.
#Rant over

 

[uwu]

Hello Fresh have asked to me contact them with more information, will let you know if they say anything.