It’s hard to know what to say. I’ve made mistakes in the past trying to comfort but realizing it probably was not at all helpful. I find I use phrases like “I hear you” “I’m here for you” “I’m glad you shared with me” “I’m sorry things are hard right now” “would it help if I did xyz (chores, errands, help them make a hard phone call…)” “I’m always here if you need to chat.” Etc.
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I feel like a teenager questioning everything and wondering when was the last time I felt happy. I used to count the things I was grateful for everyday. I would come up with six different things. Now I wonder what I did to deserve those things and how to stop them from going away. It sends me down a deeply existential path. I was steeped in one philosophy growing up and while I challenged it, it never occurred to me that I might want to seek out an entirely different philosophical way of being and go ahead and structure my life around it. Part of me wants to pursue the notion and part of me is scared because I feel like cults prey on people asking these questions. Cornel West popped up on my feed for a master class ad and he was so compelling. I bristle at the thought of letting capitalism fill me with values though. Then again, the people handing out free pamphlets are pretty weird too.
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I can relate to so much of what you said @Sheabutter I know I’m a very lucky person and have so much to be grateful for, but the stupid depressed part of my brain just makes me think if I appreciate anything too much I’ll lose it. I try and remind myself that the “real me” and the “depressed me“ aren’t the same, if that makes sense, but I don’t know if it helps.
Please be careful about getting drawn in by any kind of cult or organisation that preys on vulnerable people. It’s good that you’re aware of it. You can figure out your philosophy on your own for now, it sounds like it such a personal thing.
If you’re seeking a community and discussion with people who have similar ideas, that will all still be there when you’re feeling better x
ETA. Apologies if none of this makes sense, just know that you’re not on your own.
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I didn’t think it was possible to be this sad …
- I had an ectopic pregnancy in march
- I had a miscarriage in September
- I just lost my job
- My boyfriends disappeared
- I’m stuck in another county as my job wasn’t in the UK
I just feel so lost. I went for a walk by the river earlier and was like wouldn’t it be nice to not be here anymore. My mums flying in on Saturday so i just need to be strong until then but wow this is hard.
- I had an ectopic pregnancy in march
- I had a miscarriage in September
- I just lost my job
- My boyfriends disappeared
- I’m stuck in another county as my job wasn’t in the UK
I just feel so lost. I went for a walk by the river earlier and was like wouldn’t it be nice to not be here anymore. My mums flying in on Saturday so i just need to be strong until then but wow this is hard.
I'm in ill health physically and mentally and have just gone up to 100mg Sertraline. The dizziness and headaches are awful. I know it won't last but ugh. I spoke to my neighbour before and had to run indoors to be sick. It felt like complete anxious overwhelm.
I want to die but I am so scared of ceasing to exist. Right now I'm living for my husband, my dog and Animal Crossing. I know that's pathetic. My husband says to do what I need to do until I feel improvement and that if I had flu for eg. I wouldn't feel pathetic. I know he's right. Mental illness is such a cruel mind virus.
Sending love to all. We have survived 100% of our tit days so far. We are not our thoughts.
I want to die but I am so scared of ceasing to exist. Right now I'm living for my husband, my dog and Animal Crossing. I know that's pathetic. My husband says to do what I need to do until I feel improvement and that if I had flu for eg. I wouldn't feel pathetic. I know he's right. Mental illness is such a cruel mind virus.
Sending love to all. We have survived 100% of our tit days so far. We are not our thoughts.
You're not pathetic
I'm agoraphobic so I don't live for much either. Just my cat and photography.
We are not our mental illness.
I don't think it's pathetic at all. Any reason is enough. Do you like the SIMs too? You have to do whatever to stay alive.
Self massage could possibly help with the anxiety and to calm you down. It's called the havening technique.
A daily, self-healing practice using Havening Techniques® - Bing video
I know it take a while to shift out of the suicidal feelings but there's also this charity too who do provide extra support.
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I’m sorry for everyone hurting and alone. Even if you have loved ones who care about you, it can feel so alone because there is only so much they can do. Sharing here is nice in that we see we aren’t the only ones going through our struggles, as sad as it is that others are hurting too. I like what a few have mentioned above, how we are not our thoughts. And the other resources people share about what helps them. Not everything works for everyone but sometimes you stumble across something that resonates. I appreciate every one of you who’ve shared or supported. 
I’m not sure if I’m posting in the right place but I’m just feeling so down. I hate where I am in my life at the moment. I feel as if I’m going no where and everything is stationery? I just want to trap myself away from everyone in a bubble because I find myself getting incredibly agitated by everything and everyone at the moment. Nothing I used to do brings me any joy anymore and I just want to be left alone to sleep. I don’t know if I’m feeling overwhelmed, anxious or what. I’m just not really coping very well and needed to vent. I can’t really vocalise this anywhere else.
I'm sorry you're struggling right now. I personally don't see the problem in getting more sleep if that's what your body is telling you you need. I did also spend time in my old room because it felt safer then the real world. If you need some time to just retreat that's not necessarily a bad thing. I just think you can't be the energizer rabbit all the time.
Do you journal or keep a mood diary? If you don't have words maybe drawing instead would help you recognise what you're feeling.
Have you spoken to your GP or tried any medication?
absolutely done at the moment. Had a bit of a complex bereavement a couple of months ago and I think it’s messing with my head.
Been off meds for nearly two years but I’m now at a point where I feel like the side effects I was trying to avoid by coming off them are now all reappearing as symptoms… all I want to do is sleep and avoid people. I still have a strip of sertraline left from my old prescription and I’ve started taking it again which I know is a ridiculous idea and I should just go to my doctor but I don’t even know what to say. I feel like I can never say what I mean, there’s a massive disconnect between my thoughts and my speech.
Struggling to keep my head above water and my SO is no doubt sick of me constantly saying depressive morbid stuff. I got into some really good habits over lockdown and now it’s all gone to tit.
I hate this. It’s like a prison.
Been off meds for nearly two years but I’m now at a point where I feel like the side effects I was trying to avoid by coming off them are now all reappearing as symptoms… all I want to do is sleep and avoid people. I still have a strip of sertraline left from my old prescription and I’ve started taking it again which I know is a ridiculous idea and I should just go to my doctor but I don’t even know what to say. I feel like I can never say what I mean, there’s a massive disconnect between my thoughts and my speech.
Struggling to keep my head above water and my SO is no doubt sick of me constantly saying depressive morbid stuff. I got into some really good habits over lockdown and now it’s all gone to tit.
I hate this. It’s like a prison.
I'm sorry to everyone who's struggling. It's a hard time of year.
I am too and I feel like I have nothing to feel tit about, yet here I am. I'm the "character" and "life and soul of the party" outwardly but I just want to curl up and hide. Sertraline has taken the edge off my symptoms, I don't cry anymore really, and the special of negative thoughts has gone, but I just feel exhausted, unmotivated and pointless.
I just feel like nothing nice ever happens. I have an OK life, amazing friends but they're all getting married, having kids, doing nice things all the time, and I'm on my own and all I do is go to gigs and go for drinks which is fun but then when everyone who has a life goes back to their proper lives I'm just here on my own wishing someone would let me know what's wrong with me so I can change it. I don't know why I can't just be a person like everyone else is.
I am too and I feel like I have nothing to feel tit about, yet here I am. I'm the "character" and "life and soul of the party" outwardly but I just want to curl up and hide. Sertraline has taken the edge off my symptoms, I don't cry anymore really, and the special of negative thoughts has gone, but I just feel exhausted, unmotivated and pointless.
I just feel like nothing nice ever happens. I have an OK life, amazing friends but they're all getting married, having kids, doing nice things all the time, and I'm on my own and all I do is go to gigs and go for drinks which is fun but then when everyone who has a life goes back to their proper lives I'm just here on my own wishing someone would let me know what's wrong with me so I can change it. I don't know why I can't just be a person like everyone else is.
I'm really struggling tonight
I’m here for a bit if you need. Big hugs
I don't know if I am depressed, but I don't feel myself these days. I've been putting it down on the fact that I've been working 12+ hours a day including weekends since last January. Work is quite stressful, but I've always been someone who can handle stress. Stress never prevented me from working out, enjoying going out for a shopping spree or brunch during the weekend or go to the movies/museums. Before all this work stress entered my life, I used to be very type A: wake up at 6.30, have breakfast, study for an hour, go for a 5k, come home, shower, work and find some outlet to relax in the evening.
Now, I can barely make it out of bed before 9am and my weekends are spent stressing over work. My stress has caused me to stop eating, triggered significant insomnia and I spend my spare time either zoning out or thinking about work. I still manage to function at work and perform chores, but I don't enjoy anything anymore because anxiety kicks in the moment I start relaxing. I used to take care of myself (get my nails done etc..) and now I simply stick to the basic hygiene. Of course, working from home has something to do with this, but I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel as though no matter how much I do, it's never enough. It's as though I'm constantly playing catch-up with what exactly, I don't know. I don't have any family to turn to and I sincerely think the issue I had with them two years ago triggered all this anxiety because even though I'm no longer in touch with them, I feel as though I don't deserve anything happening in my life.
I hate the way I am feeling because I know some people have it far worse and I feel extremely bad complaining about this.
Now, I can barely make it out of bed before 9am and my weekends are spent stressing over work. My stress has caused me to stop eating, triggered significant insomnia and I spend my spare time either zoning out or thinking about work. I still manage to function at work and perform chores, but I don't enjoy anything anymore because anxiety kicks in the moment I start relaxing. I used to take care of myself (get my nails done etc..) and now I simply stick to the basic hygiene. Of course, working from home has something to do with this, but I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel as though no matter how much I do, it's never enough. It's as though I'm constantly playing catch-up with what exactly, I don't know. I don't have any family to turn to and I sincerely think the issue I had with them two years ago triggered all this anxiety because even though I'm no longer in touch with them, I feel as though I don't deserve anything happening in my life.
I hate the way I am feeling because I know some people have it far worse and I feel extremely bad complaining about this.
I’m struggling a lot. I guess I have for a while but tonight is the first night I’ve been alone and it’s hit me how unhappy I am and I cried and couldn’t stop 
Bloody miserable tonight. I hate this time of year, reminds me of everything I don’t have. Not felt this low for a while but that just makes it harder to deal with when it does get bad, hate my stupid brain
I've been off work dealing with some stuff which has had a real impact on my mood for the first time in a while. Sending positive thoughts to everyone who is struggling.
I can’t tell if I’m depressed…. 
Well I appear to be in my bad sleep cycle. Fun.
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