OK So I have a confession. My life has been quite unusual and interesting so I e mailed Marie and asked her if she would be interested in my success story. She said she would and we arranged an interview. So in brief, my life story is: I joined a nunnery at 19 where I remained until I was 33 during which time I fell in love with an Abbot from the local monastery. We left our previous lives and married. Then he died in mysterious circumstances and I was accused of his murder, so I was back in the cell, so to speak. My innocence was proved by my tireless investigations two years later and I was released back into the arms of my children. I went on to write a bestseller, which was made into a film and with the money I started up a company who struck oil and I live a life of privilege. Now, I have just received the fully edited interview, a transcript, in its entirety and will give you a preview here - as it is just between us:
Marie: I would like to introduce you to my dearest friend, Inven Tion. He he hee! Now you have had a really interesting life and are very successful aren't you?
Me: Yes
Marie: Well. Te hee hee. That is lovely. Now, have you ever lived in a French chateau?
Me: Well, no. But I have....
Marie: Have you ever put flowers in jam jars and called it floral design?
Me: No, but I.....
Marie: Have you ever been gifted a car by begging?
Me: No
Marie: Created a brand?
Me: Well, umm no. However...
Marie: Earned enough to live on by begging?
Me: Again, no
Marie: You are not very successful are you?
Are you able to offer me free, luxury accommodation for more than two weeks?
Me: Err no.
Marie: Can you donate free microphones, a drone and luxury recording equipment?
Me: Umm, I thought you were here to interview me?
Marie: DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO. Cut this here Sara. What a waste of time..