The Chateau Diaries #409 Hey Chateau Diaries fans, XantheWilliams is really Philip Janssen!

[Abuela]

I wonder if Fanny is

View attachment 4025787

Also Claire Butcher mentioned they served alcohol to their B&B guests because they have a liquor license.Any bets Fanny does not have one?

 

[Lady Avonlea]

Dumpees at the one day Patron event, Skidmark claimed that there were 70 people at the lunch. I believe she was lying, as usual.There were no where close to 70 people at the lunch. SKidmark gave herself a LieLande upgrade again.

1. Dish pan Dave
2. hyper Hanni
3. Andi and man friend
4. FRK and person helping in the kitchen
5. permasmile
6. the 2 Shreks ( and 2 guests/ patrons)
7. Sabine the dump hair collector
8. Pavlina
9. Ben the electrician
10. chris the plasterer
11. Amaury
12. Herr Nutty
13. Drunkle who was in charge of handing out champagne
14. Chantal
15. Chamberpottie
16. Skidmark
17. Mummy ( showing of gifted Madame du Versailles zippered pouch she received from a guest)
18. Percy
19. brother Gerry ( who called himself Scott Mann, and has given the name Scott boy to Percy)
20. the fake fiance Loser Baldilocks Janssen
21. Rosie the Dump dishwasher/ cleaner/ dishpan Dave wife?
22. Dangerous Dan
23. Brian
24. Emma the B and B handler/ breakfast maker, etc.
25. Ombeline

That's 30 people according to this list according to graciemckitten's list. Plus there was Ron the Chateauwhore, along with Chelsea Flower Show Andy and his partner. That's a total of 33 (50%) of the people in attendance.

Why does Fanny inflate the size of the gathering when she could easily host a pleasant day and tasteful lunch for just 30 patron guests without most of the hangers-on? Fanny probably justifies it by thinking patrons want to meet all the actors in her soap opera, but hosting just the patrons would involve less food, less cost, and be more intimate and enjoyable for her patrons.

Except it would be more work for Fanny. She & Baldilocks are too lazy to actually lead the day and handle the guided tours on their own. Fanny prefers staff do all the work. God forbid Fanny assemble a flower arrangement - that's below her elevated station. Fanny prefers to sit on her ass in the cool Winter Salon pretending she's Lady Muck!

 

[graciemckitten]

I’ve never received any patron info from Fanny - not even a welcome postcard or email. All those piles of patron cards Fanny pretends to sign are all for show. The B&B and patron days are by personal invitation/reservation to the handful of syncophants who can’t see through Fanny’s fake facade.

I believe skidmark mentioned the date of the only patron day back in a cd video in January, 2026 and that was all she did to advertise the event. She gave patrons a very short period of time to contact the dump to say that they would be interested in going to the patron day. She did not want to heavily advertise it because she wanted the one day to be sufficient and she does not like people coming to “her house/ part time party pad/ soundstage.”

She did it deliberately.

 

[Freesia54]

If A the poor ram was SO old in sheep years why prolong the agony, as pet / animal owners we have a responsibility to do the right and kindest thing,
if you truly love something let it go.

Why is she never in residence when the animals die?

 

[JackSpratt]

Skidmark hates to pay for veterinary care of any kind. That includes going to the doctor herself, unless it's for botox.

Spare us your crocodile tears Fanny. You don't give a damn about any of the animals at the shitoo. Fanny's never home
when any of her animals get sick or die - why? Because Fanny's never bloody home, but there's no way her slaves don't keep her informed!
View attachment 4025417

Sheep - Aloyisous was elderly, but that poor ram did not live a good life. It's a blessing that he's finally out of his pain. I don't believe for one second that the vet ever came for him, or any of the other animals. Filming the vet, even from a distance, would have been much-needed vlog footage for Fanny. The remaining sheep should be surrendered to a home where they can live out their last days comfortably.

Peachicks - how many peachicks have died over the years? Fanny said it was a big surprise when the peachicks were born. BS! That's why Jamie made a half-assed attempt to enclose the garden shed. But they were all too damn lazy, or didn't care enough, to clear out the gardener's shed and make a comfortable nesting spot for the peahean & her chicks. Disgusting.

Chickens - so the fox is brazenly walking around the shitoo grounds. Fanny mentioned the plan had been to install electrified fencing around the chicken enclosure before getting the new chickens. But she couldn't wait, and Fanny now has a whole new bunch of chickens for the fox to hunt. No more word about an electrified fence. Instead, the door on the chicken coop is held shut by a brick, and dogs allowed up to the door (while the chickens rush inside to hide) View attachment 4025586View attachment 4025411
View attachment 4025412

So we're back to the 1950's MASH tent and uncomfortable wooden, assembly hall chairs. That should be toasty for the guests since the weather is +30C
View attachment 4025420View attachment 4025421

Safari Ken reporting for duty. Look at those lily-white legs without an ounce of muscle. Snorty's picking out his outfit for the day, while everyone else is busy outside with the preparations. Five minutes of work outside and Snorty's a wrinkled mess - ha!
View attachment 4025419View attachment 4025552

Look at all the crap piled up and hidden behind the screen. Also, why the dirty, dead, straggly grape vines across the beams? Why is Mummy wearing a mask for the car ride? Is she ill? TB? The only reason Baldilocks went to pick up the 3 Wee Muskateers at Limoges is so he could probably stop in a the procelain factories.
View attachment 4025441View attachment 4025551

Look at all that crap. Fanny says it will only take 10 minutes to clean up - my ass! Bloody hoarders!
View attachment 4025444View attachment 4025445

None of those items were 'gifts'. Percy didn't haul all of those heavy, cut glass vases all the way from SA.
An entire bolt of fabric (paaaarfect for drapes in Baldilocks boudoir) didn't just appear from an unknown person. And Helen, whoever the hell she is, didn't just happen send a bunch of books to Baldilocks.
View attachment 4025543View attachment 4025547View attachment 4025549

Agree with the fellow tattler who said that Fanny & Baldilocks went from Newby Hall to the wedding in the Netherlands and then took the rest of the week making their way back to the shitoo (likely via London). All those 'gifts' were purchased by Baldilocks + all of Baghead's ugly crap just suddenly appearing from the London flat.
View attachment 4025545View attachment 4025546

Why are Andy and his husband/boyfriend Richard there? Best guess. Andy brought all of Fanny & Baldilock's crap with them in their car from London, while Fanny & Baldilocks flew back to France? Imagine driving all that way and still having to rent a place to stay, although wherever they're staying is no doubt nicer than the shitoo.
View attachment 4025562

Look at the filthy tables. They're dusty and appear to have bird poop on them (near Andi). Does no one take a hose to them and give them a good scrub? All of those tablecloths in the shitoo, and they can't find any to put over those tables for the 'staff' dinner. Shameful.
View attachment 4025564

Wrong Fanny! Every single lalander, except you and Baldilocks, is busy somewhere in this shitoo.
View attachment 4025574View attachment 4025575

Patrick & Stuart were likely invited but chose not to attend, instead dropping off some preserves while Fanny & Baldilocks were out of town - wise choice! As for giftbags - 36 maximum! Will be interesting to see how many guests are repeat 'fake' patrons.
View attachment 4025581View attachment 4025577

I said the MASH tents would be back, it's not her special birthday year, so back to basics.

I do wonder after the event and happy group photo for posterity, how many of the sad act patrons walk away from there thinking 'what the fuck have I just been to?'......if they're perfectly honest.

.........and we all know she can't wait for them 'to get the hell out of her house'......how tiring🥱

 

[MsPitstop]

Skidmark’s manipulative speech She sounds like she is in love with dangerous Dan.No mention of her 3.5 year fake engagement with the “love of her life” Baldilocks Janssen.

I just wanted to say a huge thank you to all of you for what you're doing here in this tiny corner of France. It is because of all of you and because of all of the other patrons that Land is being restored. We had done what we could when we first moved in. And after we'd spent all of the money that we had, we saw Landon just very slightly, as my mother loved pointing out to me, just slightly deteriorate each year. Nothing major, nothing like the floods that we had in the kitchen, but just a slight deterioration.


GET READY FOR THE EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION ABOUT THE POOR LITTLE 50 YEAR-OLD LITTLE ORPHAN PRINCESS BEING AT THE DUMP BY HERSELF
And it was very soul destroying to be here quite a lot of the time on my own, to see that around me, to feel totally unable to tackle it and to try doing small things that were effectively plasters over a broken leg. So when the vlog took off and when all of you started to support us, everything turned around.

GUSHING , LOVE BOMBING SPEECH ABOUT DANGEROUS DAN SHE ALWAYS HAS TO REMIND DAN THAT HE WAS A GARDENER….. SHE WILL NEVER ACKNOWLEDGE THAT HE HAS BLOWN HER AWAY IN THE YOUTUBE GAME.
And the living embodiment of that change is Dan who is I think here somewhere who is the very very first person that we employed because of the patron accounts. It was my mother who was toiling incessantly in the garden and I knew that she needed a gardener more than anything. I remember one day I said to you, "Mommy, you need a gardener." And you went, "How am I supposed to get one?" Gardener.
Gardener.

And Dan arrived. It worked. [laughter] It worked. You asked the universe. The universe answered and Dan arrived and he made such a change not only to the garden, but to the morale of the whole house. And all of you have had a chance to chat to him today will see why. Like, he's just a joy to be around.

And after that, I was able to start employing some of the volunteers who've been helping here for free all of those years because I thought, I'm not going to employ people that I don't even know rather than employing the people who were giving of their time before all of this happened. So, of course, now Maria is here. Natty,

even Philip actually arrived. He was like the one of the last waves of volunteers and is also employed here now. But you're employing the people who work on the chateauand on the garden. So people like, Pavina, Jean Kristoff out in the gardens and in the house, Amory, Chris and Ben who are also here today. All of them are here because of you.

And I think that maybe you don't always realize, you know, you're making a change to a building in France, but you're making a huge change to people's lives and giving them employment and giving them a home here. So, thank you to all of you and a huge round of applause to all of you.

Wait a minute. I thought Skidmarks has said in the past that the staff/slaves were paid by YT and BnB revenue, and that Patreon was only for "restoration" (then later renovation) of Lielieland?

AND, Patreon paid for the ride on mower for Mummy, not for Dan.

Of course, she's recently changed the wording of Patreon to make it very vague, but if I were a Patreon, either at the pathetic event, or watching the video, I'd be questioning why I'm financially supporting Stef's servants!

 

[SaucySaysSo]

Shrek forgot to fantasy filter Fanny. Lord, she looks like a whodunnit! 🫣

I think we should name the vein on her forehead.

 

[Lady Avonlea]

Skidmark hates to pay for veterinary care of any kind, including neutering animals or euthanasia.
##

Skidmark hates to pay for veterinary care of any kind. That includes going to the doctor herself, unless it's for botox.

Spare us your crocodile tears Fanny. You don't give a damn about any of the animals at the shitoo. Fanny's never home
when any of her animals get sick or die - why? Because Fanny's never bloody home, but there's no way her slaves don't keep her informed!

Sheep - Aloyisous was elderly, but that poor ram did not live a good life. It's a blessing that he's finally out of his pain. I don't believe for one second that the vet ever came for him, or any of the other animals. Filming the vet, even from a distance, would have been much-needed vlog footage for Fanny. The remaining sheep should be surrendered to a home where they can live out their last days comfortably.

Peachicks - how many peachicks have died over the years? Fanny said it was a big surprise when the peachicks were born. BS! That's why Jamie made a half-assed attempt to enclose the garden shed. But they were all too damn lazy, or didn't care enough, to clear out the gardener's shed and make a comfortable nesting spot for the peahean & her chicks. Disgusting.

Chickens - so the fox is brazenly walking around the shitoo grounds. Fanny mentioned the plan had been to install electrified fencing around the chicken enclosure before getting the new chickens. But she couldn't wait, and Fanny now has a whole new bunch of chickens for the fox to hunt. No more word about an electrified fence. Instead, the door on the chicken coop is held shut by a brick, and dogs allowed up to the door (while the chickens rush inside to hide)

So we're back to the 1950's MASH tent and uncomfortable wooden, assembly hall chairs. That should be toasty for the guests since the weather is +30C

Safari Ken reporting for duty. Look at those lily-white legs without an ounce of muscle. Snorty's picking out his outfit for the day, while everyone else is busy outside with the preparations. Five minutes of work outside and Snorty's a wrinkled mess - ha!

Look at all the crap piled up and hidden behind the screen. Also, why the dirty, dead, straggly grape vines across the beams? Why is Mummy wearing a mask for the car ride? Is she ill? TB? The only reason Baldilocks went to pick up the 3 Wee Muskateers at Limoges is so he could probably stop in a the procelain factories.

Look at all that crap. Fanny says it will only take 10 minutes to clean up - my ass! Bloody hoarders!

None of those items were 'gifts'. Percy didn't haul all of those heavy, cut glass vases all the way from SA.
An entire bolt of fabric (paaaarfect for drapes in Baldilocks boudoir) didn't just appear from an unknown person. And Helen, whoever the hell she is, didn't just happen send a bunch of books to Baldilocks.

Agree with the fellow tattler who said that Fanny & Baldilocks went from Newby Hall to the wedding in the Netherlands and then took the rest of the week making their way back to the shitoo (likely via London). All those 'gifts' were purchased by Baldilocks + all of Baghead's ugly crap just suddenly appearing from the London flat.

Why are Andy and his husband/boyfriend Richard there? Best guess. Andy brought all of Fanny & Baldilock's crap with them in their car from London, while Fanny & Baldilocks flew back to France? Imagine driving all that way and still having to rent a place to stay, although wherever they're staying is no doubt nicer than the shitoo.

Look at the filthy tables. They're dusty and appear to have bird poop on them (near Andi). Does no one take a hose to them and give them a good scrub? All of those tablecloths in the shitoo, and they can't find any to put over those tables for the 'staff' dinner. Shameful.

Wrong Fanny! Every single lalander, except you and Baldilocks, is busy somewhere in this shitoo.

Patrick & Stuart were likely invited but chose not to attend, instead dropping off some preserves while Fanny & Baldilocks were out of town - wise choice! As for giftbags - 36 maximum! Will be interesting to see how many guests are repeat 'fake' patrons.

 

[skybluepink098]

She totally threw Pavlina under the bus saying she told her the ram was put down. She didn’t have to say when it happened or that she didn’t know until after. I bet she is pissed she spent money on shearing him.

 

[SaucySaysSo]

Why is she never in residence when the animals die?

I’ve been pondering this question. I do not believe that she has not ever been in residence when animals have died.

I think that is a big fat lie and it gives her some sort of innocence in her mind to say it. Like, “Not me! I wasn’t even there! I’m not responsible!”

 

[Lady Pinkadella]

I am just sick to address the issue of more dead animals at her dump. Poor, poor Aloysius suffered far too long

Did Pavlina take advantage of the fact that the two were travelling again and have him put down? I don't think a vet was there regularly, and I found it fishy that Pavlina didn't participate in the sheep-shearing. The old witch wouldn't even spend other people's money on the animals.

 

[LittleMore Cottage]

Thankyou ComtesseRose for all you do - Big Kiss

Lets hope the bloody tent falls on Fanny and the Kidney Stone!!!

Great band name. "Fanny and the Kidney Stone".

 

[graciemckitten]

The Shreks, Permasmile, Drunkle and. Chantal drove several hours to the Dump to attend/ help out on patron day. SKidmark just walked down the steps from her bedroom and told Patrons that they are paying for Skidmark’s personal staff of servants, including her money hemorrhaging fake fiance/ concubine/ personal chauffeur Loser Filth Baldilocks Janssen. Wheeeee….

Dump zombie
angelataylor8614
3 minutes ago
Oh my goodness how this channel has evolved. Its almost beginning to be a cult... in a good way. Dan is such a sweetheart bringing flowers , chris for bringing the fashion lol. Marie as always a pure genuine lady. Of course we all have our favourites ... as much as i love watching you all individually doing your own thing. Your mummy... is the down to earth, say it as it is... lady i absolutely love... looks like a happy day... well done

 

[Lady Pinkadella]

Ton Ton couldn't give a shite as he launched himself in front of the Princess to fill his plate whilst she was doing her speech and she was NOT amused

Honestly, that was the best scene in the history of the Chateau Diaries for me. A single second in which everyone showed their true colors.

 

[Pekey]

Drunkle decides to help himself to the buffet during Skidmark’s speech

Love it !!!

 

[Daisy Br]

I know we give Amuary & Natti the gears, but I know which party I'd prefer to attend.

Relaxed atmosphere, cold drinks in the wheelbarrows, live music, bbq, lots of laughs, community spirit, mingling with locals, making new friends, the gift of an olive tree presented from all the guests, plus a heartfelt thank you speech spoken in French by both Amuary & Natti.
View attachment 4026373View attachment 4026374
View attachment 4026375View attachment 4026376
View attachment 4026390View attachment 4026392
View attachment 4026394View attachment 4026395
View attachment 4026396View attachment 4026397

And that wonderful gift of a mature olive tree. I basically give out about them all the time (Irishism for not exactly praising their every move), but I have to say that the get together looked like people were enjoying themselves. It was a very successful party and they got that great tree, definitely not jealous or anything. I hope they treat it as their most valued possession and keep it alive forever.

 

[graciemckitten]

deborahkarakoy1980
56 minutes ago
Can't stand stephanie

 

[graciemckitten]

From what I can gather from that little speach of hers is that patreon pay the wages for everyone, even Flip... I think patreon need to have a time and study motion put in place to see exactly what each employee does with their contracted hours. It seems to me very little work is done for the salaries paid. Princess and Flip are hardly ever there so what does he receive a salary for?

I believe she did the “ Patreon pays staff salaries” speech because she is preparing another big ebegging campaign for the lake, chapel, not so grand salon, dining room, etc. and will complain that Patreon funding can barely cover staff salaries so she has no money left over to start or continue with very large projects at the dump so she needs lots of additional cash from viewers and patrons.

Of course, she will never tell viewers or patrons that she makes about $20,000 a month extra that goes straight into her dirty little pockets from all of her sponsored ads.

She spent an enormous amount of money paying off the ARDWHORE travesty, doing more luxury traveling, and buying thousands of euros in new outfits for the Chelsea flower show as well as staying in a five-star hotel for about a week in London for the flower show. You know she has a lot more expensive, travel and purchases coming up for the rest of the summer.

Skidmark Jarvis is telling more and more lies and changing the rules of the Patreon game once again.

 

[Lady Avonlea]

There's a case to be made that Scotman wore the worst outfit (even worse than Safari Ken). Imagine wearing this on a hot 30+ summer day.....the stink! Fanny, I would have stood as far away as possible in the group photo, not sat on his lap.

 

[graciemckitten]

I do not think Patrons will be thrilled to discover in the patron day video that they (the patrons) are paying a salary to unlikeable, nasty, lazy, useless, animal abusing, work shy, spoiled, allergy prone dump plumbing/ kitchen destroyer, personal fake fiance/ brocante broke boy, sugar baby of Skidmark Jarvis.