The Chateau Diaries #402 Regretting getting down on one knee, 'cause you'd rather get down on two, eh Philip?
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Who has time to make squirrel memes? But if I had time.
SJ please, please buy me hair plugs like Petheric or I will kill yet another dog.
SJ please, please buy me smelly forks, wonky lamps, broken things, rugs with pee stains, weird tulip holders, useless chair I will never reupholster because staple-gunning that little pink stool broke something inside of me or I will starve the cat, that won’t work he has a friend now. I will kill the chickens oh they are already dead, I will kill the peacocks, oh we have 30 that is too much work, I will kill the sheep oh it’s on hospice already well then I will just continue to kill this channel! (With my weirdness)
I definitely think Steph is encouraging Snorts to place auction orders all over France.
- It gives her an excuse to leave Laland without it looking too much like she’s on vacation again.
- She can escape having to interact with her paying guests.
- She gets to luxuriate in a clean hotel room, unlike her own bedroom, which looks like a bomb went off.
That ski slope nose is just as bad !
What's happened to his China shop in the Shitoo and online chipped plate shop?! F'ing useless. Zero skills with zero charisma.
Do you think the auction tat buys are really for greedy fan and Herbert is just the scapegoat? I'm unsure as he is so hyped/organically over purchases...
Not sure, think they're as bad as eachother. She's been indulged all her life and now has no one telling her she can't spend her money, so she'll continue to do so. He can't belive his luck he's landed this gig of seemingly unlimited funds and being lord of the manor.Do you think the auction tat buys are really for greedy fan and Herbert is just the scapegoat? I'm unsure as he is so hyped/organically over purchases...
He's obsessed with buying but never buys one thing of worth. He can't seem to grasp these items may well be notible makes etc but they're at a bargin price for a reason, broken, a bit missing, faded wth age just poor quality pieces. As you say he's way too excited about his purchases.
I think if fan was there without him she'd still spend but I don't belive to this extent of set upon set of dinner services, cutlery and glasses. Her spending would be on clothes, jewellery and decorative pieces..................plus many more expensive holidays.
If these people live in the States, they definitely voted for the curd.silverfox1050
1 day ago
Just my opinion......your channel seems to be more like a shopping network than a "chateau restoration" network. I'm disappointed in this transition. I'm just one voice, but I thought I would express it.
pathological liar and manipulative grifter loser filth janssen
MarilynA-km4qj
1 day ago
It's never been a "chateau restoration network" !! Its a diary of her life as a chateau owner!
kpeacockw
1 day ago
There are other channels that focus exclusively on construction. Stephanie’s diary of her life is what makes her channel so unique. I love the variety! Gardening, decorating, beautiful countryside, travel, antiques, history, cooking, and lots of wonderful people who live, work, and stay at Lalande.
XantheWilliams
21 hours ago
Unlike most, the chateau was renovated to a livable standard 20 years ago, and they run a business from it. Works done now are “would like to be done” or “can be done betters”, but any works must fit around the life of the residents and guests. It has always been, a diary of the day to day reality of living in a working chateau.
fan is a curd, too, and her schlep is runny diarrhea. Disgusting.
I wonder how much gas is costing them driving all over the place? Plus, Europe only has 6 weeks of jet fuel left.
They're not in the same room, probably not even on the same floor. Maybe even separate hotels. Who cares about the cost, someone else is paying.
I think it's all her. The money is hers, there's no way she's paying for all that stuff, unless he's buying it for her. Everyone, who criticizes the constant buying, blames him. That's the general idea. It's never her fault.
Yep, absolutelyDo you think the auction tat buys are really for greedy fan and Herbert is just the scapegoat? I'm unsure as he is so hyped/organically over purchases...
fan who is the arbiter of taste and manners.
Now
what was it we were saying bout the way you hold cutlery!.
Now
Squirrel nutkins is being a brave boy trying new foods.
Wow taste sensation!
I agree the auction trips suit Fannykins. Whee of we go again.
However fuel is not only going to be expensive it is likely going to become scarce. Flights are being cancelled too.
Apart from her monthly trips to the Uk I guess she would drive to Geneva and possibly Spain…between guest weekends. The poor old Porsche must have gone around the clock a few times.
Wow taste sensation!
I agree the auction trips suit Fannykins. Whee of we go again.
However fuel is not only going to be expensive it is likely going to become scarce. Flights are being cancelled too.
Apart from her monthly trips to the Uk I guess she would drive to Geneva and possibly Spain…between guest weekends. The poor old Porsche must have gone around the clock a few times.
Sorry for the delay, but I've been having computer problems.
Patron vlog - on the road again. Don't you just want to wipe the smile off that smug little pubic hair face.
Of course, they slept in and got on the road late (no suprise there), so predictably they're rushing off to the next auction pick up, which is in Royan, a seaside town northwest of Bordeaux. But no time to linger as they need to be there by noon, and they're still over an hour away. Who cares if we get another speeding ticket!
What exciting thing are they rushing off to pick up that has Baldilocks so animated? A book! Yep, a book. Mind you, it's a limited edition book on his favourite ruin - chateau de St.-Cloud.
His love of ruins might explain why the Porcelain Prince enjoys living at the shitoo!
We're treated to a repeat lecture on the history of chateau de St.-Cloud, and Baldilocks can barely contain himself.
He was so animated I thought Baldilocks was going to have to pull over and pleasure himself with his pointy finger!
fan feigned excitment. Based on her editing, fan wasn't excited at all as the screen went to black for a few seconds.
Is that fan's pillow or are they covering up something in the back seat? This is at the start of the day? It looks much larger than any item they showed picking up the previous day. Teacups & a few glasses aren't that large!
So what's fan doing on this exciting road trip? She's brought along the novel Babel. fan explains she screwed up because when the novel arrived at the shitoo last week, along with vacuum bags (I assume she's trying to prove they clean the joint), she had mistakenly ordered the French version.
What??? fan, with the French mother! fan, who waxes lovingly about her French grandmother! fan, who shows off her childhood newspaper clippings lauding her French language school grades! That fan can't read a novel written in French?
Most people would return a novel they didn't want, but fan says she'll just keep the French version for guests (I don't recall many french speaking guests at the shitoo). But Hanni happily says, she'll read the French version. More confirmation Hanni likely helps fan handle written French language matters?
They arrive at the auction house, only to be told that the auctioneer has taken the unclaimed auction items to his home - which shows how long ago Baldilocks bought the damn book. The auctioneer lives another 40 minutes away, so back in the car. Success - they've retrieved the book. Now we have to sit through more of Baldilocks verbal diarrhea about chateau de St.-Cloud.
fan & the boy wonder are chuffed. He scored this limited edition book (in a gift box) for only €70. It was so long ago that he bid on the book, Baldilocks honestly can't remember what he paid. He claims it was less than €100.
fan declares it's a bargain, because she's found the book for €2,000 on Amazon. But she's also found the book for €161.77 on another book site. fan says, "aren't you cleaver boy Philip, you paid half the price". Forget the cost of petrol, hotel, wear on the car....it's a bargain! Idiots!!!
Snorty asks fan to read from the chateau de St.-Cloud book while they drive. fan responds, "anything for you my darling".
Off to the next auction house. I couldn't figure out where it was located because they mumbled the name. Baldilocks has scored a Murano candlelabra. Of course fan covets other stuff at the auction house. Snorty is infatuated with his new acquisition. "He loves it so much! It's beautiful!" He's wanted a Murano candlelabra ever since he saw one at George Sand's chateau. fan claims it's beautiful, cheerful and wonderful - paaarfect for their current dining room. They never mention the cost. 
Look at Baldilocks lovingly inhaling his new candelabra - buying crap is their porn!
True to form, there is a piece missing off the top. Not to worry, they'll look for a replacement piece at Murano. Nothing is wrapped up or protected, so Snorty take's it apart and stuffs it in the car, along with the improperly wrapped glasses which have been tinkling around the boot throughout the car journey. Who cares if crap breaks - they'll just go on another road trip for more.
A shitoo interlude about glasses......fan shows FRK drinking out of a large plastic cup. FRK explains that last season she began drinking out of empty jam jars, but this year she's moved on to this plastic cup. Why?
Better safe than sorry! FRK explains it wasn't nice when glasses broke! So does that mean Snorty throw a tantrum if one of his glasses gets broken? Does fan charge staff & guests for breakage? Why mention it, if it hasn't been an issue? Does FRK not want a repeat performance of the Jaguar?
There's no dinner waiting at the shitoo, so we stopped for a wee snack at Micky D's. Isn't it wonderful to be home!
Surprise - there's a package waiting for fan when they arrive. fan claims it's a belated (8 months late) birthday gift from David.
David is the patron who visited and painted the kitchen in the Marquis Suite. It's from Mrs. Alice, the same company that fan got the wicker urns from, that used to be in the kitchen. Haven't seen those urns in a while. Guess they didn't meet Snorty's approval for his crayola kitchen.
Weeeeee - it's a wicker heart-shaped basket!
Jean Christophe is still cutting the grass. fan's off to bed with Ratso2.0 & her new heart-shaped basket, because another Guest Weekend starts tomorrow! No doubt Snorty is locked up in his study rum bedroom pleasuring himself reading his new book on chateau de St.-Cloud.
Patron vlog - on the road again. Don't you just want to wipe the smile off that smug little pubic hair face.
Of course, they slept in and got on the road late (no suprise there), so predictably they're rushing off to the next auction pick up, which is in Royan, a seaside town northwest of Bordeaux. But no time to linger as they need to be there by noon, and they're still over an hour away. Who cares if we get another speeding ticket!
What exciting thing are they rushing off to pick up that has Baldilocks so animated? A book! Yep, a book. Mind you, it's a limited edition book on his favourite ruin - chateau de St.-Cloud.
His love of ruins might explain why the Porcelain Prince enjoys living at the shitoo!We're treated to a repeat lecture on the history of chateau de St.-Cloud, and Baldilocks can barely contain himself.
He was so animated I thought Baldilocks was going to have to pull over and pleasure himself with his pointy finger!
fan feigned excitment. Based on her editing, fan wasn't excited at all as the screen went to black for a few seconds.
Is that fan's pillow or are they covering up something in the back seat?
This is at the start of the day? It looks much larger than any item they showed picking up the previous day. Teacups & a few glasses aren't that large!So what's fan doing on this exciting road trip? She's brought along the novel Babel. fan explains she screwed up because when the novel arrived at the shitoo last week, along with vacuum bags (I assume she's trying to prove they clean the joint), she had mistakenly ordered the French version.
What??? fan, with the French mother! fan, who waxes lovingly about her French grandmother! fan, who shows off her childhood newspaper clippings lauding her French language school grades! That fan can't read a novel written in French?
Most people would return a novel they didn't want, but fan says she'll just keep the French version for guests (I don't recall many french speaking guests at the shitoo). But Hanni happily says, she'll read the French version. More confirmation Hanni likely helps fan handle written French language matters?
They arrive at the auction house, only to be told that the auctioneer has taken the unclaimed auction items to his home - which shows how long ago Baldilocks bought the damn book. The auctioneer lives another
40 minutes away, so back in the car. Success - they've retrieved the book. Now we have to sit through more of Baldilocks verbal diarrhea about chateau de St.-Cloud. fan & the boy wonder are chuffed. He scored this limited edition book (in a gift box) for only €70. It was so long ago that he bid on the book, Baldilocks honestly can't remember what he paid. He claims it was less than €100.
fan declares it's a bargain, because she's found the book for €2,000 on Amazon. But she's also found the book for €161.77 on another book site. fan says, "aren't you cleaver boy Philip, you paid half the price". Forget the cost of petrol, hotel, wear on the car....it's a bargain! Idiots!!!
Snorty asks fan to read from the chateau de St.-Cloud book while they drive. fan responds, "anything for you my darling".
Off to the next auction house. I couldn't figure out where it was located because they mumbled the name. Baldilocks has scored a Murano candlelabra. Of course fan covets other stuff at the auction house. Snorty is infatuated with his new acquisition. "He loves it so much! It's beautiful!" He's wanted a Murano candlelabra ever since he saw one at George Sand's chateau.
fan claims it's beautiful, cheerful and wonderful - paaarfect for their current dining room. They never mention the cost. Look at Baldilocks lovingly inhaling his new candelabra - buying crap is their porn! True to form, there is a piece missing off the top. Not to worry, they'll look for a replacement piece at Murano. Nothing is wrapped up or protected, so Snorty take's it apart and stuffs it in the car, along with the improperly wrapped glasses which have been tinkling around the boot throughout the car journey. Who cares if crap breaks - they'll just go on another road trip for more.
A shitoo interlude about glasses......fan shows FRK drinking out of a large plastic cup. FRK explains that last season she began drinking out of empty jam jars, but this year she's moved on to this plastic cup. Why?
Better safe than sorry! FRK explains it wasn't nice when glasses broke! So does that mean Snorty throw a tantrum if one of his glasses gets broken? Does fan charge staff & guests for breakage? Why mention it, if it hasn't been an issue? Does FRK not want a repeat performance of the Jaguar?
There's no dinner waiting at the shitoo, so we stopped for a wee snack at Micky D's. Isn't it wonderful to be home!
Surprise - there's a package waiting for fan when they arrive. fan claims it's a belated (8 months late) birthday gift from David.
David is the patron who visited and painted the kitchen in the Marquis Suite. It's from Mrs. Alice, the same company that fan got the wicker urns from, that used to be in the kitchen. Haven't seen those urns in a while. Guess they didn't meet Snorty's approval for his crayola kitchen.Weeeeee - it's a wicker heart-shaped basket!
Jean Christophe is still cutting the grass. fan's off to bed with Ratso2.0 & her new heart-shaped basket, because another Guest Weekend starts tomorrow! No doubt Snorty is locked up in his study rum bedroom pleasuring himself reading his new book on chateau de St.-Cloud.
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They're frugal, so you know it was a home perm,
Let me get this straight....Ryan didn't have sufficient funds, nor could he prove he had sufficient income, to support his residency application, but that's not his fault. I've never seen Ryan hold an actual, paying job. He's fluently bilingual. He's young, able-bodied, and a likeable, big talker. He's not the brightest bulb in the pack, but there's nothing stopping him from doing an honest day's work, except that he has no drive, initiative or work ethic. It's easier to blame other people and 'the system' rather than admit he's lazy. Au revoir Ryan!
Bless you @Lady Avonlea ! Thank you for Sitting through that nastiness.
Thanks as always @ComtesseRose, @TheCook for the title to you all for the entertainment 
BunBoy and Nasti are having a short break to see Mama & Papa in the SoF. At this rate, the ME situation will be over before the work at the Pig Farm OR LaLandfill gets finished.
Meanwhile in the SoF, BunBoy is following Papa’s instruction where to hang two boring pictures. What’s with this lot ???? Why do they have to cover every conceivable space with weird, uncoordinated pictures and paintings. and no they’re not lovely Papa, they are boring but guessing they cost you a lot in Athena circa 1978
Could be worse mind. Another pair of Daddy’s porn paintings could have resurfaced
BunBoy and Nasti are having a short break to see Mama & Papa in the SoF. At this rate, the ME situation will be over before the work at the Pig Farm OR LaLandfill gets finished.
Meanwhile in the SoF, BunBoy is following Papa’s instruction where to hang two boring pictures. What’s with this lot ???? Why do they have to cover every conceivable space with weird, uncoordinated pictures and paintings. and no they’re not lovely Papa, they are boring but guessing they cost you a lot in Athena circa 1978
Could be worse mind. Another pair of Daddy’s porn paintings could have resurfaced
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@Lady Avonlea photo credit
Hey there, Snorty! Just so you know, those petals are glass and have no scent. The aroma you’re smelling is likely the bounce back bad breath from burping up your mushy peas and pineapple.
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