The Chateau Diaries #38 A faghag, a teabag and a faux handbag walk into a chat ooo

[emilyseyo]

Reading through these threads the past few days has been so cathartic! I discovered chateau vlogs early on in the pandemic and at the time it seemed like just what I needed - so glamorous! so interesting! so different from sitting in an apartment worrying whether I was going to get sick from going to the grocery store! - but I've been slowly losing interest in (and patience with) all of them. Apologies if this is all boring stuff that's been said before, I just wanted to get it off my chest lol.

Doing It Ourselves lost me first, after about five videos they fell flat for me. I don't like all the twee Beatrix Potter stuff, I was there for chateau renovations, and there was something insincere about Michael that made me feel like he was secretly rolling his eyes at the show he was putting on for his adoring fans who all seemed to think he was their sweet wholesome grandson.

CD took longer to get on my nerves, but somewhere around the Chateau Quiz patreon debacle I got really fed up with my fellow patrons, and then that started to extend to the vlog characters themselves. With nearly $30,000 a month coming in why is so little actual necessary work being done instead of vanity projects like making unnecessary apartments for people who are surely happy enough to stay in a nice bedroom in the main chateau? How much china and spare "just in case" furniture does one chateau need, when they just announced they were doing a massive spring clean that would supposedly clear the whole place out? Why was everyone pretending the unappealing curly-haired boytoy was there for anything except to cater to SJ's every whim? Why the big fuss about the boudoir renovation (yawn) and fake surprise that the new chandelier would *gasp* suit that room best? (Does it really, though? Isn't it just going to hang down and block the Wonderful Natural Light she was just trilling about when they knocked down the wall?) Why does she still have that neon pink tape up all around the edges of her bedroom? Don't people get tired of her swanning around filming them and talking over them while they do all the work on her Beautiful Home? Bleh. The whole thing just started to seem so odd and fake and pretentious that now I can barely keep watching.

The cadeaux videos were off-putting from the first, I think I only ever made it through one whole video. Most of the gifts are embarrassingly tacky, do people sending them really believe someone who lives in a chateau in France is actually that thrilled to be sent their TJ Maxx knockoffs?

But then you read the comments on the videos or on Facebook and...yes. Yes, they do believe they're contributing to the "elegant" decor of a historic home.

(Looking back now I should have run about five minutes after I joined the original Tale of Two Chateaux FB group...the woman running it was loopier than a bowl of froot loops and the sycophants discussing everything were even weirder)

Sorry for hijacking the discussion, thanks for letting me vent!

 

[ploppityplop2]

DB -

 

[NotAChatelaine]

A sudden vision...

FRK (now Floral Actual Road Kill, or FARK), lost in Paris and circumnavigating the Arc de Triomphe for the fifteenth time, shouting at the sat nat voice "DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO".

 

[Jikki2]

So in today's vlog

-Stepfanny is awake in the morning and everybody is shocked
-fountain has discoloured fixing (but who cares? It will be under filthy green water anyway)
-the attic floor has been covered (so we can't see how much crap was buried under the insulation)
-china room has old plaster removed and Stefanny is surprised when she finds out that there will be a membrane (she has no clue what's going on with the shitoo renovation)
-endless faffing about old clothes (this dragged on for so long that I questioned my will to live)
-Dan had planted tomatoes on the courtyard and Stefanny was not pleased but managed to explain to herself that it's what they do in Villandry and it's faaaboulouus (first she thought it's too rustique in front of the shitoo... Too rustic for a farm house with crumbling mortar? She's delusional)
-they ate cheese from the bottom of the fridge. Cheese origin unknown (more food poisonings to come)
-Snorterella eats mayonnaise because he's only allergic to egg white (whatever, it's impossible to completely separate the white from the yolk and in commercial production there's always some egg white in mayo but somewhat plausible allergy, I guess)
-Sir Teabag Metherick is picked up by his sister and sourpuss face mother

Did I miss something? I might need to stop watching for my mental health

 

[Gibson]

Summary of last thread:
Trotter returns with a new narrative as a reason for being Awol on YouTube. He has found love and they connected!
Trotter reunited with Steph and her employees as the all descend on Chateau de la Gorce.
From one trip four vlogs:
Steph gets a plaque from YouTube for 100k followers. Potty leaves the Chateau with Ruthie(who will not be seen)
They travel to Boordough (Steph's pronunciation)
Marie kills more flowers as she tries to teach a trained florist Anna, how to go Boohoo or should that be Bo Ho?

Philip snorts his way through another vlog as they get jabbed, make everyone sick by saying how blessed they are to be jabbed in such beautiful surroundings. Philip buys insulting squirrel wine to drink at a wine producing Chateau (insulting oik)

On the wine tasting hosted by Anna and Ed, Philip wears an old blanket, Steph accessorizes with the ever present hot water bottle.
Steph and Trotter get spooked when another human being tries to interact with them...oh wait it's just a child in Philip's old blankey.
Trotter goes to the Shitoo for the Gag show. Yawn.
Much discussion was had about receding hairlines. Speculation on the love interest of Trotter who he says is keeping it private, but plastered all over Instagram. Further discussions of the blind granny/superfans fans who refuse to think he is gay and they are Further encouraged by the delusions of Ma Trotter, who see Steph and Michael as the next coming.
Marie is now in the UK to pick up her grifted car.
Selmar (King for a day) has the biggest delusional surprise for us all as he sets up a Patreon account for a new Shittoo with a ballroom. Tattlers are trying to warn Selmar about his new love interest who he professes to love -Tatyana she has helped him set up his grifting page for idiots who have more money than sense. Watch this space !
The Eurovision song contest set off a lively conversation between Tattlers from around the world. Viva la difference!
Feel free to add anything I may have forgotten.

 

[Alice Strictknickers]

Snarky comment on tonight's CD:




D H
vor 9 Stunden

...as Phillip trans-itions from 2nd fiddle to 3rd wheel.

 

[Gibson]

I am mortified! On the last thread there were a lot of posts about hair transplants for Teabag Trotter and Philip. I am now being targeted by adverts for hair transplants!

 

[Jeeves]

@King Kong
"LOL... more like international gay playboy with a penchant for expensive clothes.....the white tennis shoes in his insta post are $550 a pair....and then leaving the tag on his polo blazer is the height of tacky rent boy. His entire demeanor has changed into a smug, I am better than you vibe...I actually used to like him a lot, but after his whine fest over dick and angel he is insufferable. SJ needs to be done with him"

@Madame No
"Well said! Yes, he's all about the label. I don't know who he is trying to fool. He thinks that by buying expensive designer/label attire and accessories he's in another class. Not so! He lacks grace, humility, empathy, and old world manners. He is desperately trying to run away from himself and his family. He's blowing all his money that idiotic patrons feed him. I'm sure he has absolutely no investments or retirement plan in place. Wake up snotty boy, you're not going to be young for long and life's expensive even without the $550 shoes."

Absolutely spot on!
I'm sorry, I cannot hide my intense dislike for Teabag Trotter (and his family). Buying a Polo jacket (with other people's hard earned cash) is akin to trying to make a silk purse from a sow's ear. Trotter is just an old fashioned "spiv."

 

[MojoDublin]

sounding dumb while criticizing these lot. Don't comment if you haven't watched the videos. In this specific video it is clearly explained that the water damage was the result of 3 weeks of heavy rain and water seeping through the wall. MPK also mentioned that he already has spare boards to replace the damaged ones and Billy literally said the repair takes 10 minutes... same for AGA.. he already has the spare parts.

Dear lurker

Please read the rules of tattle

Be advised it’s rude/ obnoxious to attempt to defend the indefensible on your first post - hello billy speilberg
Also you and trotter seem to have filming terrets ... you say a line .. he repeats your line .. then you both repeat the same line ... b roll got 1:34 seconds of the same statement ..

The owners of chateau begmaninia
Are compelled dare I mention morally responsible for all of their property and as such

THEIR own inability to check their buildings during a prolonged spell of rain - shows their complete and utter inability to understand the situation.

Allowing any contractors to pile earth removed from said cottage and dump it for convenience against a primary wall that was apparently drying out - shows their distinct lack of building knowledge .

Also a site that’s not conforming to building regs ... as the adage goes out of sight out of mind

Ended up being an unnecessary costly
Mistake - and make no bones about it it shows the lazy approach by sir trotter in all aspects of his work

Happy reading

 

[Seeingitasitis]

He discovered some water damage on the paneling and the AGA, so he needs more money!

So if there is no plumbing for the sink in the kitchen, and therefore none in the yet to be decorated bedrooms, where does the water damage come from? Surely not water ingress from the roof? Surely the first thing you do on renovation is make sure the place is watertight? And did no one check on the place whilst he was away? Oh yes, Sadie mowed the lawn in front of the cottage and planted something for MPK. Talk about fiddle whilst Rome (0r in this case, Madrid) burns. But most of all, seven plus weeks away from a cottage without organising regular checks? And Patreon contributions up to cover the cost of this neglect? He will soon be laughing all his way back to Madrid..If that had been me, I would have been far too embarrassed to admit the damage and would have quickly and quietly put it right. But then, my Patreon contributions (if I had one) would be down as it would never occur to me to expect patrons to pay once, let alone twice...

the predictive text on this website sucks and gets stuff wrong all the time-clearly because I never make any mistakes and somehow there are some that appear in my posts

let’s not sh*t on each other for typos or spelling errors or grammar (unless they are funny-then we gotta do what we gotta do)

let us all remember conveying humor is difficult, especially in short little texts-reread stuff and assume humor

This sounds good to me. Can I ask something else. I find lots of great posts and humour from everyone here, but I cannot help but be repulsed by posts where Marie is called a C U Next Tuesday - and Stephanie is referred to as a Skank or Skankanee. I don't think this is humorous, or gossip - it is ugly and base language. If people wish to call out poor manners, etiquette, from those who appear on The Chateau Diaries - fine. But no one does themselves any favours by then showing them to be so coarse. It undermines legitimate criticism. If I am shouted down, so be it.

 

[Dippy Hippy]

I used to enjoy Stephanies vlogs, when they first came out, I got interested in them through her first appearances in Escape to the Chateau. I found her very charming, but felt sorry for her living in the back of beyond with a harridan of a mother and a young volunteer for company. Her brother was very eccentric, but could be fun. I enjoyed the first parties she filmed. I felt she was wasting her life living in a wreck of a chateau and should have pursued a career. The vlogs were enjoyable till she started the Patreon account. Now it feels as if other greedy people are attaching themselves to Lalande to get money or "fame" too. Its all got too fake and nasty for me. The hangers on are frankly annoying, Marie, Selmar, Nutty need booting out. They are clearly drifters who have latched on to the few minutes of fame and the free flowing booze. I can't decide whether Philip is genuine or using SJ. Looks like he hatched a plot with his mother to get his feet under the table. Steve and Sara are there to promote the mysterious business.
I'm becoming more and more disillusioned with her vlogs.

I'm wondering if the beloved teabag perhaps has a physical illness that stops him driving, I'm thinking epilepsy, here in the uk, you have to be free of fits with or without drugs for a certain amount of time......or he had his licence revoked for speeding or the list goes on, I think I'm bored as his family always playing taxi

I suspect he's got so many points on his licence for dangerous driving that it has been revoked. I could see him driving while drunk, he always looks inebriated.
Marie should not be on the road either, she's clearly not safe.

 

[witchgrass]

So, Marie thinks she may have managed to "fracture" a tyre and also killed an animal in her new car. She also went through the centre of Paris by mistake! That's a good start!

Actual Road Kill by Marie Wiik.

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

You are right...... but those glasses look horrible...omg who buys such crap...

MPK should stick to his expertise: the AGA cooker and.....that's it. The AGA.

It would have been funnier if they drank from the bottom part of those ugly glasses!
I was as unimpressed by the "ding" as Philip.

You are right...... but those glasses look horrible...omg who buys such crap...

Babyjeans said he bought the napkins the same day at Emmaus...i sure hope he washed them before getting them at the table..i somehow guess not...

And King Henry VIII was wearing a robe his wife "found today at the Emmaus." Pretty sure unwashed.

 

[KiKiGee]

Reading through these threads the past few days has been so cathartic! I discovered chateau vlogs early on in the pandemic and at the time it seemed like just what I needed - so glamorous! so interesting! so different from sitting in an apartment worrying whether I was going to get sick from going to the grocery store! - but I've been slowly losing interest in (and patience with) all of them. Apologies if this is all boring stuff that's been said before, I just wanted to get it off my chest lol.

Doing It Ourselves lost me first, after about five videos they fell flat for me. I don't like all the twee Beatrix Potter stuff, I was there for chateau renovations, and there was something insincere about Michael that made me feel like he was secretly rolling his eyes at the show he was putting on for his adoring fans who all seemed to think he was their sweet wholesome grandson.

CD took longer to get on my nerves, but somewhere around the Chateau Quiz patreon debacle I got really fed up with my fellow patrons, and then that started to extend to the vlog characters themselves. With nearly $30,000 a month coming in why is so little actual necessary work being done instead of vanity projects like making unnecessary apartments for people who are surely happy enough to stay in a nice bedroom in the main chateau? How much china and spare "just in case" furniture does one chateau need, when they just announced they were doing a massive spring clean that would supposedly clear the whole place out? Why was everyone pretending the unappealing curly-haired boytoy was there for anything except to cater to SJ's every whim? Why the big fuss about the boudoir renovation (yawn) and fake surprise that the new chandelier would *gasp* suit that room best? (Does it really, though? Isn't it just going to hang down and block the Wonderful Natural Light she was just trilling about when they knocked down the wall?) Why does she still have that neon pink tape up all around the edges of her bedroom? Don't people get tired of her swanning around filming them and talking over them while they do all the work on her Beautiful Home? Bleh. The whole thing just started to seem so odd and fake and pretentious that now I can barely keep watching.

The cadeaux videos were off-putting from the first, I think I only ever made it through one whole video. Most of the gifts are embarrassingly tacky, do people sending them really believe someone who lives in a chateau in France is actually that thrilled to be sent their TJ Maxx knockoffs?

But then you read the comments on the videos or on Facebook and...yes. Yes, they do believe they're contributing to the "elegant" decor of a historic home.

(Looking back now I should have run about five minutes after I joined the original Tale of Two Chateaux FB group...the woman running it was loopier than a bowl of froot loops and the sycophants discussing everything were even weirder)

Sorry for hijacking the discussion, thanks for letting me vent!

Welcome, please know that you are not alone.

 

[Green Fairy]

I was astonished to see her wearing a pair of jeans and trainers to do clearing out. Normally it's a shirt worn as a dress and high-heeled boots. That coupled with how many times she said we're going to wash these costumes, convinces me that she reads here. What would she do without us?

 

[Dippy Hippy]

@King Kong
"LOL... more like international gay playboy with a penchant for expensive clothes.....the white tennis shoes in his insta post are $550 a pair....and then leaving the tag on his polo blazer is the height of tacky rent boy. His entire demeanor has changed into a smug, I am better than you vibe...I actually used to like him a lot, but after his whine fest over dick and angel he is insufferable. SJ needs to be done with him"

@Madame No
"Well said! Yes, he's all about the label. I don't know who he is trying to fool. He thinks that by buying expensive designer/label attire and accessories he's in another class. Not so! He lacks grace, humility, empathy, and old world manners. He is desperately trying to run away from himself and his family. He's blowing all his money that idiotic patrons feed him. I'm sure he has absolutely no investments or retirement plan in place. Wake up snotty boy, you're not going to be young for long and life's expensive even without the $550 shoes."

Absolutely spot on!
I'm sorry, I cannot hide my intense dislike for Teabag Trotter (and his family). Buying a Polo jacket (with other people's hard earned cash) is akin to trying to make a silk purse from a sow's ear. Trotter is just an old fashioned "spiv."

Imagine recommending everyone to eat with solid silver cutlery for their health. I'd like to see him at a food bank or the waiting area of a jobcentre recommending that. Pompous, arrogant and out of touch with the reality for many people. He's like a male Marie Antoinette. Michael Antoinette, playing at being landed gentry.

 

[Espe]

The discussion about class is interesting. In nearly everything she does, SJ betrays her lack of class: the inspection of every mark/make on cutlery/crockery, as she then tries to reveal her superior knowledge of such things. As many have pointed out, no one with any real class would turn a plate upside down to look at the mark on it. She is exactly the same when she walks round people's houses, feeling the need to hold forth about a certain furnishing fabric, piece of furniture, etc. She has held forth about an artwork, specifying that it is by a certain artist quite erroneously. Her literary quotations are often incorrect and when she does a vlog about a building, it's clear she's reading from, or has memorised, a guide book. When giving away some of her outcast clothes, she felt the need to tell the recipients who the designer was and her choice to wear completely inappropriate clothing displays her lack of any taste or class, as does the very odd combination of various foods and wine. By betraying her lack of manners, taste and class, she is achieving the very opposite of what she sets out to do. She thinks she is showing how classy, tasteful and educated she is. Well, sorry, Stephanie, anyone with the slightest intelligence can see right through you. You are nouveau riche and trashy, and you are relying on a lot of gullible people who mistakenly believe you are the real thing. Fortunately, there are others who know better, some of these may have real class and old money but many are people, maybe without class or money but who do have an education, some real knowledge and intelligence and who know what class and good taste are when they see it. They may not have acquired the wealth you have gained through inheritance or grifting, yet they would still know how to show gratitude to people who have given them hospitality and they would not outstay their welcome or take over when their hosts are showing them around. They have worked for their own living and not expected others to pay for it. Grow up and try, at least, to show that you have some awareness of how to behave!

 

[sammy13]

She doesn't "scream class" like Anna ...

What immediately struck me about Anna, was her soft, kind eyes, in addition to her innate class and impeccable manners. Jarvis was outdone and outclassed and she didn’t even know it.

 

[Jikki2]

Imagine recommending everyone to eat with solid silver cutlery for their health. I'd like to see him at a food bank or the waiting area of a jobcentre recommending that. Pompous, arrogant and out of touch with the reality for many people. He's like a male Marie Antoinette. Michael Antoinette, playing at being landed gentry.

From The Return of the Prodigal Friend - Gifts for Michael!!!

Looks like Teabag doesn't know it all (that's a shocker ) and he's spreading potentially dangerous misinformation.

 

[Gibson]

They are going to feed Steve vegetables in tonights vlog-and I just thought -that will do him good.....

It will indeed do him good.
Steve who is an amateurist gardener, enjoys the authentic taste of organic home grown produce. He is a purist with an eye for detail.

Manor and faker(after extensive research and cooking one BBQ meal)will be showcasing their authentic cuisine in France entitled 'Burgerist and buns' a Macdonald style event, where like minded Macadiests can come together and share their creations.
Philip has endorsed their new adventure as he has found the Happy Meals and little collectable toys have brought him joy over the years. He will be showcasing his talent at the event by using poorsaylaine (The new Shittoo line) to display your creations in the proper manner.
Prices start at :
£50 for a basic Burger...please bring buns.
£20 for a mini hedgehog hand knitted by nana.
£30 for corked Squirrel juice.
A prize will be given to the most creative Macadiest and tastiest creation.

Sign up to this exclusive event at Manor and faker at somewhere in France.