The Chateau Diaries #315 500.000€ spent on the chapel made Saint Joseph drop dead.

[C'est moi]

I bet former Chef, Maria, is rolling in the aisles when she sees Marie's attempts and listens to her talking about the dishes.

Ah, but MarIE has been to cookery school. Where she learned to assemble the cooked food.

I wonder if any of the teachers from that school follow her on IG and the CD on YouTube? I hope they are hanging their heads in shame.

 

[JulesWake]

Marie identifies as a Chef.
Fanny identifies as a Princess.
PhiPhi identifies as a Queen.

Just realised my comment may be offensive which is not my intent. Love all people, but PhiPhi could never be a Queen. He'll forever remain a stinky turd.

 

[Imperious Me]

My God! The colors look dirty, the perspective is wrong, the composition is inexistant.
The schmuck should stick to painting by numbers.

What's going on with him? Has her mucky farm house as his pic.. ? Why isn't his Magical Mansion in there? Leave him Camilla, he's stuck in a time warp!

 

[Lady Avonlea]

So I still watch the Pethericks here and there… what’s up with Billy’s bitchy petulant attitude?
It’s like after the church theft fiasco he completely switched to the cocky gear that I’m rich and can do whatever I want and you can’t say tit to me…
I mean… I think he also may be hangry the way he’s shrinking

Oh! Oh! And also… some of you hags doubted when I said Dan gets things done… with the second roof going up, I think it’s time for me to collect my I Told You So cheques… cough up!

Karma, I hope you haven’t returned just to collect your money because some of these tattlers (I’m not saying who) are cheap, not as miserly as Fanny’s B&B dinners, but definitly frugal. Apparently there are a couple of outstanding month-end tabs at the VIP Lounge. So you may be waiting a while for yourpayout!

 

[FecilitéJ]

I've considered getting an Irish passport (Dad was Irish) haven't got any further though.. or if it's even possible.

You absolutely can. There's a bit of a wait, or at least there was https://www.ireland.ie/en/dfa/passports/faqs/

 

[C'est moi]

I actually thought it was testicles of some kind, couldn't make out the mushrooms. Yeah, Viv. Perfect engagement present for a gay man, gonad tureen. Next up, figs and leaves roast beef carving platter.

@billybudd you are on
---

It's confirmed! Her only discernible talent is for deceit.

I would just like to say that it's a delight to have you back @Iolair Is Mr Iolair well now?

The covern circle is almost complete. Come back m.i.a. tattlers we need you all for the final and epic fall.
---

Warmed scotch, water, lemon juice and cloves.
It doesn't help, but after 5 or 6 glasses, you no longer mind that you have earwigs.

Can this please be pinned to the top of every new thread. Essential tattler information. A cure-all for absolutely every situation.

Or better still a thread title
---

Again, pretentious wins. Melon balls are dumb fossilized artifacts of feudal kitchens where 14 year olds were indentured apprentices who ate cheese rinds, slept under the kitchen table, turned mushrooms and carved melon balls for seven years before they let them out of the garde manger. If you want to label your food REACH EXCEEDS GRASP put melon balls on it. Stacked.
Also disguises super market produce when France is awash with perfect July melons. Serve cut in half with port in it. In beautiful crescents with prosciutto. Ball nothing.

Local melon (Coursan) crescents with prosciutto is an absolute summer staple in the south. There are good cured hams from Bayonne, or the black mountains sliced chiffonade.

 

[terese m]

She still will spend her free $$$ on wardrobe and her patreons will gladly pay for it. Can’t wait for the India luxury trip to be revealed….coming very soon. She will lie and say Nick and Marie are footing the bill as ‘make up’ from the Orient Express cancellation. She’ll claim it is for her engagement present. Just wait. That trip is already booked. Snorty can go because Indian Food contains no sesame

I will be so interested to see what sort of dishes Philip will eat in India! His delicate tummy will leave him confined to the bathroom while Stephanie has to go diamond and sari shopping all on her own! Oh, and he'd better watch out for any random monkeys who'd love to run away with his hair "system"!
---

You absolutely can. There's a bit of a wait, or at least there was https://www.ireland.ie/en/dfa/passports/faqs/

I have dual citizenship with US and Ireland. Three of my four grandparents were born there, so I went through the process of getting the paperwork done. I haven't gone through the process for the Irish passport yet.

 

[Jules100]

Oliver you schmuck

Why would Oliver be in a room, taking pictures (part of his artistic process before painting) while SJ was getting fitted for her new dress? If my husband were doing the same thing, I’d feel it was inappropriate and I would be pissed.

 

[JackSpratt]

Gawd you can be sure she pulls out a suitcase full of tat to sell as she 'volunteers' at Patron Day.. Back to the old market flog, "come on Dears, no charge to try them on... Oh, bootuful.. You have to buy it... "

Pssssst wanna buy some jewellery, nylons?

 

[HalcyonOrganic]

 

[Spirit of place]

Can it be deduced why you will NEVER see chocolate mousse served outside its own little dish in a restaurant?
My role model in preventative presentation feints is the customer who insisted that our chicken breast -- carefully taken off the bone, oyster attached, first two wing joints removed, leaving the drumette, by me -- was rabbit.
He was literally inconsolable.
You want to avoid drunks having a nervous breakdown in your dining room.

Could have been worse if he had insisted it was cat.

 

[M&MsMom]

What gets rid of earwigs? I swear it's them eating my flowers.. my baskets are dying, some are just stalks now

I'll be back to you later tonight....am just taking a break in between some errands and I have to run to a dr. appt. in 20 minutes!

But just really quickly, earwigs are considered to be beneficial insects, if you can believe that! I've never come across them in my own gardens or pots, but once in a blue moon will find one in the house, especially if it's been raining a lot. I bet it's something else and not the earwigs, unless you just have tons of them in your baskets! There are some things you can do.....I'll look up what I can find and send to you.

 

[Seeingitasitis]

Why does Stephanie go for her blowup doll surprise face whenever Perma smile gives her a gift? Stephanie has received over 1000 presents in the past 2 to 3 years alone. She has received hundreds of pieces of Porcelain and has purchased hundreds of pieces of porcelain. Loser Philip has
a “ shop” full of discarded porcelain. How much more crap do they need?

I bet they have tried to trade in or resell porcelain crap they no longer want at the new town antique/ crap shop. You know Stephanie purchased the baccarat crystal pieces she wanted from the shop off camera. I still think Snorts sold a bunch of valuable gift grab pieces online. Think of how many expensive antiques and gifts that they received that have never been seen again after being shown on the gift grab Or were ever acknowledged or shown to viewers? I wish the French government would audit her and make her pay taxes on all the gifts she received after instructing viewers how to send presents to intentionally evade French taxation.

Greedy Stephanie seems to forgotten about all the thousands of gifts that she received on the gift grab. She intentionally loves to receive gifts In current cd videos from guests, other chateau owners, and fans to let viewers and patrons know that the gift grab is still open for business off camera.

Why doesn’t she sell unwanted valuable gift grab presents from the gift grab channel to help fund the chapel restoration?
How much auction crap will she bring home from her London storage units?

Think about this. She has a 40 room farmhouse and huge attic with a dozen wardrobes that are so stuffed with crap that she needed 2 huge rusty outdoor storage units in which to put crap.She then has leased storage units in London to store all the extra crap and purchases she cannot fit into her 2/3 bedroom London flat which has not been leased put for the past few years. She has closets stuffed with clothing and possessions in her flat. She also carted crap to South Africa to stuff into her bedroom closets and to spread all over the beach house. Once she revealed the south of France apartment, Snorty starts filling it up with crap. When Pottie cleaned out his Amsterdam flat, he bought armloads of clothing and possessions that Stephanie had left at his flat for over a decade.

One day, we need to add up all the porcelain they have purchased on camera and received thru the gift grab. It is so ironic that they literally have hundreds of porcelain plates, but the entire B and B dinner portions for 12 people could fill only 2 plates.

Fanny QVS - yep. Good idea. As for the tax, Fanny deducted that from the proceeds before she "donated". She gave up donating - and people stopped asking - and if pressed, she will say it will go to the chapel. The amount of money she will have been sent privately will be massive too. Gifts will continue to arrive and not having gift grab will allow her to say she no longer accepts them to the taxman. Cleverly, the people who would have sent gifts, sent star money instead. So the charity has gone to her directly. She will dazzle any tax inspectors will her charm, show them the chapel, invite them to stay at the chateau any time and they will go away happy.
---

My God! The colors look dirty, the perspective is wrong, the composition is inexistant.
The schmuck should stick to painting by numbers.

So he has been commissioned to paint more paintings for the chateau. Just what they need...

 

[Spirit of place]

Warmed scotch, water, lemon juice and cloves.
It doesn't help, but after 5 or 6 glasses, you no longer mind that you have earwigs.

Erm @Lolair how many glasses did you have that you almost forgot your Tattle mates?

 

[Imperious Me]

You absolutely can. There's a bit of a wait, or at least there was https://www.ireland.ie/en/dfa/passports/faqs/

Thank you! I'll check it out..

 

[Seeingitasitis]

Nobody asked, but I phoned Ruby to get the take on the series of paintings Oli has been asked to paint of Fanny. Fanny apparently thinks that one day, her legacy will be that there will be exhibitions of photos, pictures, and vlogs of her. This will mean that future generations (Phi phi) will open it as a shrine to her goodness and generosity and people will come and worship her in the chapel. The French government in gratitude for all she has done for restoration, will give her an honour and waive all tax due. Phi phi will become a hermit in one of the suites, stuck to the computer buying more stuff at auction whilst volunteers will do tours of the chateau in return for a huge entrance fee. Pilgrims will come from all over the world plus the grandchildren of all the old ladies who bequeathed all their savings to her on their deaths, so that they can understand why they were disinherited. It goes without saying that there will be no memorials to anyone else who met an unfortunate end as a result of knowing her.

 

[Le Baiseur]

The sights, sounds, smells, crowds, and culture shock of India will render PhiPhi fetal with musty sheets pulled up over his head.
I love that for him. I wish him Hershey squirts and a squat toilet.

 

[Imperious Me]

I'll be back to you later tonight....am just taking a break in between some errands and I have to run to a dr. appt. in 20 minutes!

But just really quickly, earwigs are considered to be beneficial insects, if you can believe that! I've never come across them in my own gardens or pots, but once in a blue moon will find one in the house, especially if it's been raining a lot. I bet it's something else and not the earwigs, unless you just have tons of them in your baskets! There are some things you can do.....I'll look up what I can find and send to you.

I've assumed it was earwigs because they're all over the wood with this wet weather, could well be something else.. there's specs of poo on the leaves though.. I'll dig the soil and see if there's any culprits running away..

 

[Iolair]

I've considered getting an Irish passport (Dad was Irish) haven't got any further though.. or if it's even possible.

Do it! With an Irish parent you qualify. It's easy enough to apply and with Ireland being in the EU, you've got no worries with pesky borders and annoying visas. Mind you, there'll probably be a wait as processing times went from a few months to 20.000 years after Brexit and the powers that be won't yet have dealt with the monumental backlogs.
---

The sights, sounds, smells, crowds, and culture shock of India will render PhiPhi fetal with musty sheets pulled up over his head.
I love that for him. I wish him Hershey squirts and a squat toilet.
View attachment 3030224

Ahhhhh! French autoroute toilets! How we all despise them!

 

[Imperious Me]

Do it! With an Irish parent you qualify. It's easy enough to apply and with Ireland being in the EU, you've got no worries with pesky borders and annoying visas. Mind you, there'll probably be a wait as processing times went from a few months to 20.000 years after Brexit and the powers that be won't yet have dealt with the monumental backlogs.
---

Ahhhhh! French autoroute toilets! How we all despise them!

TWENTY YEARS???? omg..
---
I wanted to check an article... In case some don't realize the extent of our news black out... this is what I get..