The advice thread for random problems #7

bozlem3080 said:

I need to pluck up the courage to go to a hairdresser, my hair is really thick & frizzy although I straighten it, I've probably only ever been to the hairdressers a handful of times in my life, when I was 10 I went she washed, cut, blow dried my hair & I came out looking like Deidre Barlow (had similar glasses too) full on poodle hair, my uncles ex wife was a hairdresser so she mainly cut my hair in my teens, then her & my mum would sit & smoke/drink afterwards taking the piss out of my hair, I then had my hair done in my late 20's at a hairdressers, I spent the 3 hours (wash, cut, colour, blow dry, straighten) apologising for the state of it because its so thick & frizzy, I last went about 3yrs ago, the hairdresser was so lovely but I just felt so out of place, felt like everyone was staring at me & just uncomfortable, then felt they were probably talking about me afterwards about my awful hair, I suppose I could have a mobile hairdresser in but its the faff of washing my hair myself I can't be arsed with (I can't be arsed at the best of times ) I just trim my own hair/dye it but want something different. Sorry for the long rant.

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You could ask if the mobile hairdresser will wash it for you, most of them will, I sometimes get them when my anxiety flares up an can't get to the hairdressers, she's really good, gives me the same service as if I was at the hairdresser's an will wash an dry it, even dye it etc, she also lets me know the quiet times at her place too so that when am feeling ok I can go in when there's little to no one there, I know they aren't all the same but mine has like a little bit up the back that's sorta hidden from the front so she takes me to the back an anyone else thats in is down the front

Maybe you could ask what the quiet times so that no one is really in since you are nervous about it, most of them are really nice at helping you out

bozlem3080 said:

I need to pluck up the courage to go to a hairdresser, my hair is really thick & frizzy although I straighten it, I've probably only ever been to the hairdressers a handful of times in my life, when I was 10 I went she washed, cut, blow dried my hair & I came out looking like Deidre Barlow (had similar glasses too) full on poodle hair, my uncles ex wife was a hairdresser so she mainly cut my hair in my teens, then her & my mum would sit & smoke/drink afterwards taking the piss out of my hair, I then had my hair done in my late 20's at a hairdressers, I spent the 3 hours (wash, cut, colour, blow dry, straighten) apologising for the state of it because its so thick & frizzy, I last went about 3yrs ago, the hairdresser was so lovely but I just felt so out of place, felt like everyone was staring at me & just uncomfortable, then felt they were probably talking about me afterwards about my awful hair, I suppose I could have a mobile hairdresser in but its the faff of washing my hair myself I can't be arsed with (I can't be arsed at the best of times ) I just trim my own hair/dye it but want something different. Sorry for the long rant.

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I've had the same problem. For years going to various hairdressers who didn't make it a fun experience. Cutting too much hair off cos they weren't watching what they were doing due to chatting to a colleague, smashing my head on a basin as they were too rough and ready. Giving me the "in" hairstyle as though that's all they knew how to or wanted to do. And the bitching was epic. So all round a miserable experience.
There were some highlights - the ex London hairdresser who wanted me for a model as they were so fascinated by my hair and wanted to fly Wella up to try their latest perm on my hair. A simple cut and blow dry was never simple. He'd do it straight then change his mind at the end and do it curly.
Then over time when I got fed up with all that I ended up by chance at "the hairdressers hairdresser" who stated firmly that my hair should never be cut with scissors but a razor. My hair loved him.
Unfortunately other people did not love him and it got too unsafe to go there. I had a final ex London hairdresser who announced my hair should never be permed. Unfortunately his body was too distracting for me. The skinniest hips I've ever seen on a man which I couldn't tear my eyes from, and he wasn't all that amazing at hair. Then there was the one who turned me into a rock chick with Titian dyed hair. I sobbed all the way back to the car with my brother telling me I looked amazing!!!! I still went back though, as he was good at cutting and I had a thing for him and his trousers and braces
Then he left and I ended up at the bitchiest hairdresser's ever who seemed to employ well known actors to sweep up. Then one day I was moaning to a colleague about the epic bitching and she recommended a hairdresser where you weren't rushed, you were the only client, it was calm and she isn't a bitch. I've been with her for years and am really happy, but she's getting on in age and talking about how difficult it is to keep going in the current climate, so I may have to start looking again soon..

Snippysnips said:

You could ask if the mobile hairdresser will wash it for you, most of them will, I sometimes get them when my anxiety flares up an can't get to the hairdressers, she's really good, gives me the same service as if I was at the hairdresser's an will wash an dry it, even dye it etc, she also lets me know the quiet times at her place too so that when am feeling ok I can go in when there's little to no one there, I know they aren't all the same but mine has like a little bit up the back that's sorta hidden from the front so she takes me to the back an anyone else thats in is down the front

Maybe you could ask what the quiet times so that no one is really in since you are nervous about it, most of them are really nice at helping you out

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Thank you I never thought of asking tbh I'm one of those people who hates asking & putting people out, my hair personally is absolutely awful, has zero curl just pure frizz, I straighten it, tie it up & that's it, i sweat so bad if I wear it down heat literally comes off my head even in winter its so weird, I've just never been shown how to style it properly & had the piss taken out of me by my so called mother during my teenage years I've kind of just accepted it, i used to try & wear it down occasionally as a teenager using a whole can of mousse in the process giving it that crispy horrible texture. I just hate the fact a lot of hairdressers have you sitting in front of a big window like you are in some kind of freak show as well.

bozlem3080 said:

Thank you I never thought of asking tbh I'm one of those people who hates asking & putting people out, my hair personally is absolutely awful, has zero curl just pure frizz, I straighten it, tie it up & that's it, i sweat so bad if I wear it down heat literally comes off my head even in winter its so weird, I've just never been shown how to style it properly & had the piss taken out of me by my so called mother during my teenage years I've kind of just accepted it, i used to try & wear it down occasionally as a teenager using a whole can of mousse in the process giving it that crispy horrible texture. I just hate the fact a lot of hairdressers have you sitting in front of a big window like you are in some kind of freak show as well.

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Have you tried the conditioner that comes with hair dye (L'Oréal)?
Although it says to use once a week I use it every wash as my hair loves it so much despite being fine texture. No more frizzy curls.
ETA. I posted my regime on another thread. May work for you too and it's cheap!:

Chocolategoggler said:

Have you tried the conditioner that comes with hair dye (L'Oréal)?
Although it says to use once a week I use it every wash as my hair loves it so much despite being fine texture. No more frizzy curls.

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Oh I might do that I have loads of them as use 2 box dyes due to the thickness of my hair so have a few left over.

bozlem3080 said:

Oh I might do that I have loads of them as use 2 box dyes due to the thickness of my hair so have a few left over.

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Sorry posted wrong post

bozlem3080 said:

I need to pluck up the courage to go to a hairdresser, my hair is really thick & frizzy although I straighten it, I've probably only ever been to the hairdressers a handful of times in my life, when I was 10 I went she washed, cut, blow dried my hair & I came out looking like Deidre Barlow (had similar glasses too) full on poodle hair, my uncles ex wife was a hairdresser so she mainly cut my hair in my teens, then her & my mum would sit & smoke/drink afterwards taking the piss out of my hair, I then had my hair done in my late 20's at a hairdressers, I spent the 3 hours (wash, cut, colour, blow dry, straighten) apologising for the state of it because its so thick & frizzy, I last went about 3yrs ago, the hairdresser was so lovely but I just felt so out of place, felt like everyone was staring at me & just uncomfortable, then felt they were probably talking about me afterwards about my awful hair, I suppose I could have a mobile hairdresser in but its the faff of washing my hair myself I can't be arsed with (I can't be arsed at the best of times ) I just trim my own hair/dye it but want something different. Sorry for the long rant.

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My mum's hair dresser is mobile and takes a portable sink with her so she can wash hair without having to use your shower

bozlem3080 said:

Thank you I never thought of asking tbh I'm one of those people who hates asking & putting people out, my hair personally is absolutely awful, has zero curl just pure frizz, I straighten it, tie it up & that's it, i sweat so bad if I wear it down heat literally comes off my head even in winter its so weird, I've just never been shown how to style it properly & had the piss taken out of me by my so called mother during my teenage years I've kind of just accepted it, i used to try & wear it down occasionally as a teenager using a whole can of mousse in the process giving it that crispy horrible texture. I just hate the fact a lot of hairdressers have you sitting in front of a big window like you are in some kind of freak show as well.

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I know it can be hard to find a good hairdresser, but a good one will understand an also help you out with advice on what can help your hair, I don't know your area but could you even just go into some around your bit an just talk with them? Just see if they have experience with your hair type, it helps going to someone who knows what they are doing an sometimes certain hairdresses are only experienced in specific hair types

I’m not sure what to do in the situation I’m in. I started a new job recently yet there isn’t a lot of work to do and especially not for junior staff. I’ve now been asking daily for work to be given to me as in my first week I was asked well why didn’t you ask for work and it’s unacceptable to think there wasn’t anything for me to do. I’ve haven’t experienced a job like this before. It’s almost like I’m begging for work surely that’s not right? It’s their responsibility to make sure there’s work? I don’t want to raise this higher and complain because I’m worried. The line manger has said she has got work coming out of her ears but I’m not sure how that’s related to the junior staff? We don’t do the same work that she does. I’m not sure what is going on here.

bozlem3080 said:

Thank you I never thought of asking tbh I'm one of those people who hates asking & putting people out, my hair personally is absolutely awful, has zero curl just pure frizz, I straighten it, tie it up & that's it, i sweat so bad if I wear it down heat literally comes off my head even in winter its so weird, I've just never been shown how to style it properly & had the piss taken out of me by my so called mother during my teenage years I've kind of just accepted it, i used to try & wear it down occasionally as a teenager using a whole can of mousse in the process giving it that crispy horrible texture. I just hate the fact a lot of hairdressers have you sitting in front of a big window like you are in some kind of freak show as well.

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Have you tried a hairdresser that specialises in african hair. It sounds like you shoukd go to one of them

bozlem3080 said:

Thank you I never thought of asking tbh I'm one of those people who hates asking & putting people out, my hair personally is absolutely awful, has zero curl just pure frizz, I straighten it, tie it up & that's it, i sweat so bad if I wear it down heat literally comes off my head even in winter its so weird, I've just never been shown how to style it properly & had the piss taken out of me by my so called mother during my teenage years I've kind of just accepted it, i used to try & wear it down occasionally as a teenager using a whole can of mousse in the process giving it that crispy horrible texture. I just hate the fact a lot of hairdressers have you sitting in front of a big window like you are in some kind of freak show as well.

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Hey, hairdresser here have a look into a Brazilian blow dry I think it would be great for you from what you have described of your hair, it will also be so much easier for you to manage at home x

Rocknrolla said:

Hey, hairdresser here have a look into a Brazilian blow dry I think it would be great for you from what you have described of your hair, it will also be so much easier for you to manage at home x

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Talking about them I just booked one in she's just training doing them so it's super cheap. I've had them before and I didn't really notice that much difference but at least I'm not paying full price. Although I was never told how to maintain it so maybe that's why it didn't work well for me. Would sulphate containing shampoo make a big difference to it? Also is 3 weeks ok to get a colour put on it? I think I read 2 weeks is enough but I have an appointment with my usual hair dresser 3 weeks after it

Former_Antelopee said:

Talking about them I just booked one in she's just training doing them so it's super cheap. I've had them before and I didn't really notice that much difference but at least I'm not paying full price. Although I was never told how to maintain it so maybe that's why it didn't work well for me. Would sulphate containing shampoo make a big difference to it? Also is 3 weeks ok to get a colour put on it? I think I read 2 weeks is enough but I have an appointment with my usual hair dresser 3 weeks after it

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Hey not sure why you didn’t feel the benefit? They honestly give great results. Don’t tie your hair up for 24hours after the treatment, avoid washing and any sort of moisture for 48hours. We always advise colour after treatment as it can cause colour fading. Yes you should be using sulphate free shampoo and conditioner, don’t feel pressured into buying the brand the salon use you can pick it up in boots x

Rocknrolla said:

Hey not sure why you didn’t feel the benefit? They honestly give great results. Don’t tie your hair up for 24hours after the treatment, avoid washing and any sort of moisture for 48hours. We always advise colour after treatment as it can cause colour fading. Yes you should be using sulphate free shampoo and conditioner, don’t feel pressured into buying the brand the salon use you can pick it up in boots x

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I've bought some Philip Kingsley shampoo/conditioner anyway as I sued their hair mask and loved it (bought more of that too)
I did just realise I'm working the day after so I'll have to tie my hair back, trying to swap my shift! But if not I'm thinking of tying a ribbon or something loosely around it so it's back but hopefully won't cause any dents or kinks etc.
I'm not sure it was a few years ago now
Thank you!

Got a custom built pc, it's starting to get a bit dusty inside, is there a safe way to clean it, or is it fine to just open up an wipe down with a microfibre cloth? Don't want to damage anything

Snippysnips said:

Got a custom built pc, it's starting to get a bit dusty inside, is there a safe way to clean it, or is it fine to just open up an wipe down with a microfibre cloth? Don't want to damage anything

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Open and use a hair dryer to blow out the dust. Unless you have a special vac

Captainmouse said:

Open and use a hair dryer to blow out the dust. Unless you have a special vac

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Thanks I'll try that, don't have any special vac, but might need to look into that

Annoyed I bought some stuff from denby a few weeks ago. Since they went into administration things were on offer. They had an offer on a casserole dish for £30 so I got one. Just looked at my receipt now and they charged me £53! I wouldn't have bought it for that much

A band me and my husband liked in our teens are reforming for a one off gig, he snapped the tickets up and I was like yeah great. Today he tells me the gig is at a student union.. what do I wear as an early 40's woman to a gig at a student union?!.

Although I'm hoping that as it's a reunion gig everyone will be our age ‍.

Pesky Tarian said:

A band me and my husband liked in our teens are reforming for a one off gig, he snapped the tickets up and I was like yeah great. Today he tells me the gig is at a student union.. what do I wear as an early 40's woman to a gig at a student union?!.

Although I'm hoping that as it's a reunion gig everyone will be our age ‍.

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The joy of being a married woman in your forties is that you don’t have to impress anyone. You certainly don’t have to dress like a load of mangy students! Wear whatever you’d wear going to your local pub. What is the band??