The advice thread for random problems #6

[Magwitch]

Oh, now i get it and I think it actually sounds verrry nice. Close to a village but not inside the village would be right up my alley as well. My personal concern would be about the utilities, especially water as otherwise you'll have to do a lot of water management for freshwater and also likely periodically get wastewater removed. It seems though someone has been living there already so maybe this part is known and taken care of.
Idk, I'd also think about it and I really don't think it's crazy. Especially if you are looking to change something from the regular rat race and also have the means to do it.

I live rurally, no mains utilities, and it’s fine, but the OP should look into waste management because new laws have been put in place in the last few years. We had to convert our old septic tank with a water treatment system and it cost thousands.

 

[cowtastrophe]

One of my dogs is quite vocal and because she's a terrier breed, her bark is squeaky and annoying. I'll preface this with saying the following:

1. We know how annoying it is for everyone within earshot to hear dogs constantly barking.
2. We don't let her bark for ages in the garden.
3. We bring her in if she won't stop.

The problem is she's very reactive but very social and every time she hears another dog bark, she starts barking too. Either that or she will try to get the neighbours' dogs to 'talk' to her by standing in the garden and barking. We've tried numerous things to train her but she's just very stubborn and nothing has stuck. Often she stops fairly quickly but sometimes she just goes batshit and won't shut up at all. She also then runs away from us if we try to catch her and bring her inside.

I'm honestly at my wits end with it and I've had a complaint (not a nasty one) from a neighbour because she's barked a couple of times in the garden when she's gone out for a wee first thing and woken them up.

I've always been opposed to anti-bark collars but I've found some that use vibration and sound rather than shock and I'm wondering if anyone else has tried these and if they work. The last thing I want is to give her any discomfort - she's a gorgeous loving little thing and it would break my heart to hurt her but I need to find a way to address this. TIA.

 

[petitspois]

One of my dogs is quite vocal and because she's a terrier breed, her bark is squeaky and annoying. I'll preface this with saying the following:

1. We know how annoying it is for everyone within earshot to hear dogs constantly barking.
2. We don't let her bark for ages in the garden.
3. We bring her in if she won't stop.

The problem is she's very reactive but very social and every time she hears another dog bark, she starts barking too. Either that or she will try to get the neighbours' dogs to 'talk' to her by standing in the garden and barking. We've tried numerous things to train her but she's just very stubborn and nothing has stuck. Often she stops fairly quickly but sometimes she just goes batshit and won't shut up at all. She also then runs away from us if we try to catch her and bring her inside.

I'm honestly at my wits end with it and I've had a complaint (not a nasty one) from a neighbour because she's barked a couple of times in the garden when she's gone out for a wee first thing and woken them up.

I've always been opposed to anti-bark collars but I've found some that use vibration and sound rather than shock and I'm wondering if anyone else has tried these and if they work. The last thing I want is to give her any discomfort - she's a gorgeous loving little thing and it would break my heart to hurt her but I need to find a way to address this. TIA.

It's really difficult isn't it?

They always seem to look at exercise first on behaviour TV shows, is your dog getting enough walks during the day? from your post, your dog seems to be in the garden quite a lot. Can you flip it so your dog has walks, goes out for a pee etc. but is otherwise indoors?

If you could afford it maybe try a behaviourist but you can look at a lot on you tube too. Hope you find something that works.

 

[Snippysnips]

One of my dogs is quite vocal and because she's a terrier breed, her bark is squeaky and annoying. I'll preface this with saying the following:

1. We know how annoying it is for everyone within earshot to hear dogs constantly barking.
2. We don't let her bark for ages in the garden.
3. We bring her in if she won't stop.

The problem is she's very reactive but very social and every time she hears another dog bark, she starts barking too. Either that or she will try to get the neighbours' dogs to 'talk' to her by standing in the garden and barking. We've tried numerous things to train her but she's just very stubborn and nothing has stuck. Often she stops fairly quickly but sometimes she just goes batshit and won't shut up at all. She also then runs away from us if we try to catch her and bring her inside.

I'm honestly at my wits end with it and I've had a complaint (not a nasty one) from a neighbour because she's barked a couple of times in the garden when she's gone out for a wee first thing and woken them up.

I've always been opposed to anti-bark collars but I've found some that use vibration and sound rather than shock and I'm wondering if anyone else has tried these and if they work. The last thing I want is to give her any discomfort - she's a gorgeous loving little thing and it would break my heart to hurt her but I need to find a way to address this. TIA.

I was always told that a quick distraction can help, a little spray of water on the nose works (not a lot though) it's enough to sort of stop them because they wonder what the heck was that, you can get spray bottles that give a mist which would be ideal for it, doesn't hurt them or anything but it stops their thoughts for a second

The only other thing would be to try a specialist, but depending on her age it just might be something that won't ever be trained out of her

But the worst thing I was told is not to react to it, any type of shouting or telling off makes them think it's a competition to be as loud as the other, it's best not to say anything an just remove them from whatever is causing it an put them into a quiet space or room to let them calm themselves

 

[cowtastrophe]

It's really difficult isn't it?

They always seem to look at exercise first on behaviour TV shows, is your dog getting enough walks during the day? from your post, your dog seems to be in the garden quite a lot. Can you flip it so your dog has walks, goes out for a pee etc. but is otherwise indoors?

If you could afford it maybe try a behaviourist but you can look at a lot on you tube too. Hope you find something that works.

She gets two decent walks per day and we often play with her too. In summer we usually have the kitchen door open so the dogs can go in and out as they please, the barky one especially loves to sun herself. Perhaps I'll try keeping them in more and see if it makes much difference.

I was always told that a quick distraction can help, a little spray of water on the nose works (not a lot though) it's enough to sort of stop them because they wonder what the heck was that, you can get spray bottles that give a mist which would be ideal for it, doesn't hurt them or anything but it stops their thoughts for a second

The only other thing would be to try a specialist, but depending on her age it just might be something that won't ever be trained out of her

But the worst thing I was told is not to react to it, any type of shouting or telling off makes them think it's a competition to be as loud as the other, it's best not to say anything an just remove them from whatever is causing it an put them into a quiet space or room to let them calm themselves

I did try a water pistol to distract her - as in squirting next to her, not at her! It does work sometimes, but if I'm not in the garden with her, I have to keep stopping work and racing downstairs to see to her. She's only two so still quite young.

I've got to admit sometimes I do shout out of sheer frustration when she's going ballistic but you're right, it's not a good habit and I will stop.

Thank you both.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

She gets two decent walks per day and we often play with her too. In summer we usually have the kitchen door open so the dogs can go in and out as they please, the barky one especially loves to sun herself. Perhaps I'll try keeping them in more and see if it makes much difference.



I did try a water pistol to distract her - as in squirting next to her, not at her! It does work sometimes, but if I'm not in the garden with her, I have to keep stopping work and racing downstairs to see to her. She's only two so still quite young.

I've got to admit sometimes I do shout out of sheer frustration when she's going ballistic but you're right, it's not a good habit and I will stop.

Thank you both.

Imo it is what it is. I have barky dogs too. With age it got better but this is a terrier trait undortunately.
You are doing all the right things and tbh I don’t think an anti-bark collar will help.

The neighbours will just have to suck it up on the odd occasion she barks early in the morning or late at night.

Luckily I’ve not had complaints from the neighbours because like you we bring them in immediately. However sometimes at unsociable hours cats will come in our garden and they will bark. What can you do

 

[RocksOff]

Our dog barks in the evening when we let him out, he doesn't bark at any other time
Our neighbours laugh, they know it's ten o clock when they hear him!
We have tried all sorts to stop him ,but it's just his little way, I'd say as long as it's not continuous barking all day, it's one of those things of having neighbours

 

[Snippysnips]

I did try a water pistol to distract her - as in squirting next to her, not at her! It does work sometimes, but if I'm not in the garden with her, I have to keep stopping work and racing downstairs to see to her. She's only two so still quite young.

I've got to admit sometimes I do shout out of sheer frustration when she's going ballistic but you're right, it's not a good habit and I will stop.

Thank you both.

I get that, they can push your buttons an you do end up shouting, but yeah unfortunately shouting will worsen it because then they think "great now we both are yelling" lol

Have you tried some chew toys like the kong ones? you can get ones you can put peanut butter inside or other jams, an sometimes the licking an biting them can tire their jaw out which can sometimes help

But if you have already had complaints I would try an keep her out the garden unless you can be there an try an keep her in house with plenty things for her to play with, maybe even try some of those yt channels that are designed for dogs to watch, just because you can actually go to your council about dogs barking as it will come under a statutory nuisance, there are many steps to it, first being you would talk to your neighbour about it (the complaint would be the same) next keeping a log, then it would start to go to the council an eventually it will result in fines

 

[Former_Antelopee]

I get that, they can push your buttons an you do end up shouting, but yeah unfortunately shouting will worsen it because then they think "great now we both are yelling" lol

Have you tried some chew toys like the kong ones? you can get ones you can put peanut butter inside or other jams, an sometimes the licking an biting them can tire their jaw out which can sometimes help

But if you have already had complaints I would try an keep her out the garden unless you can be there an try an keep her in house with plenty things for her to play with, maybe even try some of those yt channels that are designed for dogs to watch, just because you can actually go to your council about dogs barking as it will come under a statutory nuisance, there are many steps to it, first being you would talk to your neighbour about it (the complaint would be the same) next keeping a log, then it would start to go to the council an eventually it will result in fines

And freeze them so they last longer

 

[cowtastrophe]

Ooh, good one for the kongs! I did them when she was a puppy but haven’t done them yet this summer.

Fortunately, the neighbours weren’t arsey about it and to a certain extent i think they’re being a tiny bit unreasonable - she’s done a few barks before we can stop her and get her in but it’s very clear she’s not yapping continuously in the garden. They don’t like waking up before about 7am but we live in a fairly busy suburb and there are always noises. We get a lot of foxes yowling too.

Hoping she will grow out of it a bit as she gets older.

 

[cowtastrophe]

Thank you all, by the way. I was a bit worried about asking for advice in case people thought I was one of those neglectful owners who leaves their dogs alone all day to bark. We really aren’t!

 

[petitspois]

Thank you all, by the way. I was a bit worried about asking for advice in case people thought I was one of those neglectful owners who leaves their dogs alone all day to bark. We really aren’t!

A behaviourist told me a dog barks when it wants something to happen or when it doesn't so that helped me to understand that my dog barking at other dogs and animals going past our front window is protecting his land and doesn't want those animals to come closer. That's not much use but I tend to think about it when my dog is kicking off!

 

[Snippysnips]

Ooh, good one for the kongs! I did them when she was a puppy but haven’t done them yet this summer.

Fortunately, the neighbours weren’t arsey about it and to a certain extent i think they’re being a tiny bit unreasonable - she’s done a few barks before we can stop her and get her in but it’s very clear she’s not yapping continuously in the garden. They don’t like waking up before about 7am but we live in a fairly busy suburb and there are always noises. We get a lot of foxes yowling too.

Hoping she will grow out of it a bit as she gets older.

No worries, unfortunately it's the unreasonable ones you need to watch out for, you never know what they are like, an to go further they would need to prove that it was relentless barking which it's not, but you would be surprised at what neighbours will complain about an how far they will try an take it

We have one complaining about people using bird feeders because they don't like being woken at 5am with the birds despite the fact it's not the feeders causing that, we live in a very nature friendly area an they all nest around us an obviously get up with the sun, but they are trying to ban feeders in the estate

 

[Thank(space)you]

I'm feeling like a bad person. My friend is living her best life right now (duck knows how she affords it mind!)

Whereas my life feels like groundhog day, work, school run (or now summer hols, pick up child from childcare) cook, clean, eat because I'm miserable & then cry because I'm large. I can't do much exciting things as I'm skint all the time (paying off credit card & no financial help from anyone)

She's been on 3 abroad holidays, 2 concerts, disneyland and 2 weddings in the last 2 months!

She also has a lot of help from friends and family with childcare, she has an amazing relationship with her mum, and I'm just feeling a bit tit in comparison

I'm happy for her of course, but definitely a bit of the green eyed monster too

I just dont know how to get myself out of this rut I'm in.

 

[cowtastrophe]

I'm feeling like a bad person. My friend is living her best life right now (duck knows how she affords it mind!)

Whereas my life feels like groundhog day, work, school run (or now summer hols, pick up child from childcare) cook, clean, eat because I'm miserable & then cry because I'm large. I can't do much exciting things as I'm skint all the time (paying off credit card & no financial help from anyone)

She's been on 3 abroad holidays, 2 concerts, disneyland and 2 weddings in the last 2 months!

She also has a lot of help from friends and family with childcare, she has an amazing relationship with her mum, and I'm just feeling a bit tit in comparison

I'm happy for her of course, but definitely a bit of the green eyed monster too

I just dont know how to get myself out of this rut I'm in.

It‘s always hard when you feel like someone else is getting the fun life while yours is a grind. Can you do any nice things for yourself like a cinema visit or pedi or something? It sounds trivial but taking a bit of time to do something just for yourself can really help pick your spirits up.

 

[Kim Mild]

I'm feeling like a bad person. My friend is living her best life right now (duck knows how she affords it mind!)

Whereas my life feels like groundhog day, work, school run (or now summer hols, pick up child from childcare) cook, clean, eat because I'm miserable & then cry because I'm large. I can't do much exciting things as I'm skint all the time (paying off credit card & no financial help from anyone)

She's been on 3 abroad holidays, 2 concerts, disneyland and 2 weddings in the last 2 months!

She also has a lot of help from friends and family with childcare, she has an amazing relationship with her mum, and I'm just feeling a bit tit in comparison

I'm happy for her of course, but definitely a bit of the green eyed monster too

I just dont know how to get myself out of this rut I'm in.

Life is so much easier with a supportive family, particularly a mum , so those of us who don't have that support either through bereavement or situation do have struggles that those who do don't have. That's a fact , it's ok to acknowledge that.
Some people only show the good parts of their life. Even people with the best life usually aren't satisfied either. Just be careful not to become bitter.

 

[Scorpihoe]

Hi ladies!

This is not a “problem” but was just wondering if anyone had any helpful advice! I had a party to celebrate my baby being born recently and I’m so grateful we received so so many gifts, he’ll never need anything again but there are a lot of duplicates, items in smaller sizes, items that I just wouldn’t put him in (not safe), or things we don’t use. Only one of my cousins gave us gift receipts so I can exchange/get a gift card, but no one else did.

Do shops like H&M, mamas and papas, next etc take items back if they’re new with rags without a gift receipt? Alternatively I can sell items on vinted but they go for very cheap and I’d rather get as much money back as I can so I can buy him items in his size or things he’ll need in the future! Thank you xx

 

[Bianca Del Rio]

Hi ladies!

This is not a “problem” but was just wondering if anyone had any helpful advice! I had a party to celebrate my baby being born recently and I’m so grateful we received so so many gifts, he’ll never need anything again but there are a lot of duplicates, items in smaller sizes, items that I just wouldn’t put him in (not safe), or things we don’t use. Only one of my cousins gave us gift receipts so I can exchange/get a gift card, but no one else did.

Do shops like H&M, mamas and papas, next etc take items back if they’re new with rags without a gift receipt? Alternatively I can sell items on vinted but they go for very cheap and I’d rather get as much money back as I can so I can buy him items in his size or things he’ll need in the future! Thank you xx

I think the most you’ll come away with is an exchange for another item of the same value. You won’t get money back. They’d want proof of purchase and the card used in the original transaction. I’m only basing that on my experience of Next though. I don’t know about H&M or Mamas & Papas.

Congratulations on your new arrival.

 

[Snippysnips]

Hi ladies!

This is not a “problem” but was just wondering if anyone had any helpful advice! I had a party to celebrate my baby being born recently and I’m so grateful we received so so many gifts, he’ll never need anything again but there are a lot of duplicates, items in smaller sizes, items that I just wouldn’t put him in (not safe), or things we don’t use. Only one of my cousins gave us gift receipts so I can exchange/get a gift card, but no one else did.

Do shops like H&M, mamas and papas, next etc take items back if they’re new with rags without a gift receipt? Alternatively I can sell items on vinted but they go for very cheap and I’d rather get as much money back as I can so I can buy him items in his size or things he’ll need in the future! Thank you xx

It will be an exchange they offer, they may if they want too offer a credit note but like above said, most you can get is a exchange so long as the tags are all on them

Shops like that will understand people get duplicates or items they don't need/want when a new baby comes along

An congrats

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I’d just like a little moan and vent. Judgement free please and if anybody has advice please give it.

Our dog has gone blind. It had been gradual but overnight it’s like she’s gone completely blind. This was two weeks ago.

Anyway it’s been awful. She keeps bashing her head and eyes. You cannot leave her for even a minute as she’ll start looking for you. She won’t wear goggles or the halo we got.

She doesn’t seem to be able to map our downstairs, even though she’s lived here her whole life and she’s 13.

I cannot do anything as she wants to be close. Now this isn’t the issue. The issue is she won’t sit or lay. She keeps walking and then bashing herself. It’s so bad because I can’t go to the toilet even.

It’s been stressful. I’m on edge all the time and so is Mr Lolz. I honestly don’t know how much longer I can mentally take this. At the moment her quality of life is still good so I won’t have her put down. But I feel awful for even thinking it sometimes.