So this is really trivial but it’s also upsetting me, I started a new job about a month ago, everyone is lovely apart from one person who twice now has commented about my name, the first instance was ‘my ex sister in law has the same name as you, I hate that name’ then he said ‘oh your name is in that song ha ha’ then reeled off the singer/band, now I have a pretty common name, it’s an ok name, I got home from work & just wanted to cry, he has a really common name as well, I think that’s pretty rich slagging my name off when you have such a basic name, I just don’t know what to do because he seems quite popular & has been there for years. Or perhaps I’m just being sensitive? I’m not a very confident person & can take things to heart.
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Vote for Toyota hereStuck with a decision between two cars, what would people go for
Toyota aygo
Or
Hyundai i9
Both are similar size which is the size I am looking for, originally I was thinking the aygo but after seeing the i9 am now thinking of it
Am also at the very fortunate stage where I could go new with both an also have colour choice so I can't even make the choice based on the milage or age of the car or colour
I have an 07 Yaris and for the 9 years I've owned it it's been super reliable! In fact you still see so many 20+ year old Toyotas on the road because they just won't die! Something else to bare in mind is Toyotas have excellent resale value if you decide to sell down the line too
Have you considered a Yaris? A bit more expensive but they really are tardis cars, you can get so much in them and very roomy in the back for adults!
I used to have an old Yaris as well I would've kept it but it wasn't worth fixing in the end, it was 19/20 years old though. Luckily for me it passed it's MOT and then 'broke' the month after, it was still safe to drive so I drove it for 11 months without fixing it, it just wouldn't have passed the next MOTVote for Toyota here
I have an 07 Yaris and for the 9 years I've owned it it's been super reliable! In fact you still see so many 20+ year old Toyotas on the road because they just won't die! Something else to bare in mind is Toyotas have excellent resale value if you decide to sell down the line too
Have you considered a Yaris? A bit more expensive but they really are tardis cars, you can get so much in them and very roomy in the back for adults!
Thanks, I did look at the Yaris but wasn't for me, I was more pulled towards the aygo, but have now decided if it's an aygo then it's the X, once I sat in it something about it just put me off but I was more comfortable in the X so am going see about a test drive for it, but I am happy with how good a reputation the Toyota is getting 
Personally I'd be kind of short with someone who kept at me because of my name, I'd need to back talk like "what about my name is actually bothering you so much" or " is it because your names so common your jealous of mine" but then that's just me, I don't think your being sensitive, he seems like such an a, like why is a name bothering him so much? Maybe talk with management about it if it continues if you don't want to face him yourself though, having worked in certain lines of work I've had to learn to be able to snap back at people but I understand if you didn't want to do that
He might fancy you.
I've had times in my life where blokes have been horrible to me and later been told that they actually fancied me.
I had a boss too who told his team he hated me the first time I was introduced to the team on a walk round. Took me years to get away from his team and then ten years later he came into my workplace and rushed over overjoyed to see me!
I'll never understand men...
I don't think you're being sensitive, that would bother me as well. If he makes another comment again you can always say "what did you mean by that?" and put him on the spot.
I agree with this approach. Ask the question with an open face (so not glaring or giving him daggers) then just wait and say nothing. If he does end up repeating the insult just say ‘that’s pretty rude’.
He sounds like a twit. I’d suggest just a blank and bland response with him next time, don’t laugh or smile or answer. Let him realise in the awkward silence that he’s an idiot.
I agree with this. I’d stare him out a little bit too while being silent waiting for his response. Let the little wick feel really uncomfortable.
This. Put him on the spot. Ask why he said it and highlight it’s rude, ideally in front of others.
Regardless if you’re being “sensitive”, if it bothers you it needs to stop.
If he says something negative again. Be polite but just say something like “why would you try and make me feel uncomfortable?”
Absolutely agree he sounds like a wick. Maybe fancies you. Maybe knows the HR rules so is making you feel uncomfortable without doing anything he can really be picked up on. Maybe just a man who can’t cope with a woman in a work environment. Maybe is trying to belittle you but isn’t very clever….
It depends how you want to play it.
“That’s a strange thing to say out loud”
“Gosh, it must be strange to be triggered by someone’s name”
“That’s funny, I’ve never heard anyone mention my name before, odd that you should more than once”
“Is there something you’d like to discuss?”
“Can we draw a line under this name thing? You seem to find it amusing but I find it odd and uncomfortable. I’d prefer if we could move past this”
“It feels like you’re belittling me, is there a reason for that?”
“I always think that song helps people remember my name, I’m sorry, what was your name again? I forget?”
“You’ve mentioned my name a few times now, I’m not comfortable with that. Perhaps you can address me as Miss/Mrs Bozlem if it makes you more comfortable”
“I find find it quite bizarre how you keep mentioning my name, I guess your ex SIL must’ve hurt you and I’m sorry about that”
“Is there something I can help you with? You seem to want my attention?”
Or if he’s just a thicko, just, when no one’s around…
“How about you don’t mention my name and I don’t mention your hairline/breath/shoes?”
Or the classic mumsnet
did you mean to be so rude?
did you mean to be so rude?
Get him on his own and ask "have I done something to upset you? Because you've made comments towards me a few times now".
Definitely call him out politely in public to show him up!
Asked on the cat thread, but really do need as much advice as possible!
Regarding annoying neighbours. I have a retired and far-too-much-time-on-her-hand neighbour who is complaining my cat is littering in her garden. He's just the one 17 year old cat. We live with many gardens facing inwards and many other cats. She's saying that he is tearing up the entirety of her large garden, with multiple poos a day, and that his pee is destroying all of her plants.
From my perspective, he spends most of his time inside, being an old boy, and whilst using his litterbox (I had to keep him inside with building works for a couple of weeks), was doing one relatively small poo and wee a day.
To me it seems like she's just an over exaggerating old nag with nothing better to do - but it may indeed be he is going in her garden (I have quite a wild and bushy one so I don't 'clean up' after him). Do you have any tips or tricks for stopping this? There's no realistic way to keep him contained in mine due to the layout of our gardens. I've given her bird nets to place over fresh plants, curry powder, etc.
I'm currently going through a cancer journey and so honestly, I find conflict difficult right now as I'm just so emotional all the time and in such a general state of worry - so anything I can do to appease her is for the better.
Regarding annoying neighbours. I have a retired and far-too-much-time-on-her-hand neighbour who is complaining my cat is littering in her garden. He's just the one 17 year old cat. We live with many gardens facing inwards and many other cats. She's saying that he is tearing up the entirety of her large garden, with multiple poos a day, and that his pee is destroying all of her plants.
From my perspective, he spends most of his time inside, being an old boy, and whilst using his litterbox (I had to keep him inside with building works for a couple of weeks), was doing one relatively small poo and wee a day.
To me it seems like she's just an over exaggerating old nag with nothing better to do - but it may indeed be he is going in her garden (I have quite a wild and bushy one so I don't 'clean up' after him). Do you have any tips or tricks for stopping this? There's no realistic way to keep him contained in mine due to the layout of our gardens. I've given her bird nets to place over fresh plants, curry powder, etc.
I'm currently going through a cancer journey and so honestly, I find conflict difficult right now as I'm just so emotional all the time and in such a general state of worry - so anything I can do to appease her is for the better.
This gets my vote! Short, to the point, turning it back to him. Also the added bonus of how pathetic he is.
Can you keep him in again for a few weeks and not tell her and tell her to let you know if he carries on doing it in the next few weeks as you've made some changes hoping he'll stop going elsewhere to go to the toilet. Then if she complains you can say well he hasn't been outside since I spoke to you
Has she asked you to do anything about it?
Often times older people with nothing to do just wants to be social and it can take the form of moaning about things.
Maybe engage with her a little also ask her to take some photo evidence when she catches your cat in the act.
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