Thank you, it's appreciated, am learning to trust my gut and this situation definitely felt wrong in many ways
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Thankyou for reading and replying, am learning to trust my gut after many years of being gaslit. So am still trying to navigate what's normal....etc
There was nothing flattering in his behaviour; he saw a woman and presumed she'd want to duck him.
Utter scumbag.
Never deal with that man again.
I'm sorry you had to deal with this, in your own home.
Thankyou, he has been blocked. Writing it down on here and seeing the responses has helped me see more clearly. I appreciate the validation
I absolutely hate having to say this but you should always think twice about being alone in your home with any man who is a stranger to you. It's not right, and of course we should be able to hire a workman and be safe in our own homes, but the reality is that a lot of men are chancers, and they've been emboldened by years of readily available porn, by the media showing women as sexually adventurous and "up for anything" (as your lovely tradesman shows when he suggests that you become "friends with benefits") and by the long-held general opinion that any single woman is almost always desperate for a man.
I'm glad that you've blocked him, do make sure that you spread the word about his highly inappropriate behaviour, at least you may spare some other woman from his dubious charms. Please don't feel "grubby", you are definitely not the one who should be feeling this way.
I'm honestly so angry on your behalf. I once had a window broken in my flat and I had to call out an emergency glazier late at night. I found myself at midnight, alone in my home with a male stranger, who thought it was the right time and place to ask me "So, where's your boyfriend tonight?", he then put his bleeping arm around my shoulders. I told him that my boyfriend was a "bouncer in a pub" and that he'd be home soon. Luckily, he cleared off without any fuss, but even now, 30 years later, I'm still pissed off about it.
It's "not all men"...but it's an awful lot of them
I'm glad that you've blocked him, do make sure that you spread the word about his highly inappropriate behaviour, at least you may spare some other woman from his dubious charms. Please don't feel "grubby", you are definitely not the one who should be feeling this way.
I'm honestly so angry on your behalf. I once had a window broken in my flat and I had to call out an emergency glazier late at night. I found myself at midnight, alone in my home with a male stranger, who thought it was the right time and place to ask me "So, where's your boyfriend tonight?", he then put his bleeping arm around my shoulders. I told him that my boyfriend was a "bouncer in a pub" and that he'd be home soon. Luckily, he cleared off without any fuss, but even now, 30 years later, I'm still pissed off about it.
It's "not all men"...but it's an awful lot of them
Thankyou.I absolutely hate having to say this but you should always think twice about being alone in your home with any man who is a stranger to you. It's not right, and of course we should be able to hire a workman and be safe in our own homes, but the reality is that a lot of men are chancers, and they've been emboldened by years of readily available porn, by the media showing women as sexually adventurous and "up for anything" (as your lovely tradesman shows when he suggests that you become "friends with benefits") and by the long-held general opinion that any single woman is almost always desperate for a man.
I'm glad that you've blocked him, do make sure that you spread the word about his highly inappropriate behaviour, at least you may spare some other woman from his dubious charms. Please don't feel "grubby", you are definitely not the one who should be feeling this way.
I'm honestly so angry on your behalf. I once had a window broken in my flat and I had to call out an emergency glazier late at night. I found myself at midnight, alone in my home with a male stranger, who thought it was the right time and place to ask me "So, where's your boyfriend tonight?", he then put his bleeping arm around my shoulders. I told him that my boyfriend was a "bouncer in a pub" and that he'd be home soon. Luckily, he cleared off without any fuss, but even now, 30 years later, I'm still pissed off about it.
It's "not all men"...but it's an awful lot of them
With it becoming dark earlier I never let anyone around my house if there is a hint of dusk. One of the guys that messed me around and didn't turn up when he was supposed to (just to do a quote), then offered to come round about 7pm last week, which I said a definite "no" to. I can't imagine being stuck with no choice, having to call someone out. I'm not surprised that you are still pissed off at that guy....
Today, I felt safe initially cos it was daytime and we have adhoc online Teams calls at work, but even when I purposely joined a drop in team call, he ignored my headphones and the fact i was on a work call and kept asking me personal questions. My mic was muted, as it was a call with over 100 people, but he didn't know that. It made me realise how brazen he was....so yes, it's made me acknowledge to myself that I need to be even more careful
It's so wrong that we have to put all these protections in place. I like being independent, but I need to realise it's OK to ask for backup too. Even after the friends with benefits question, which I said "no" to, he then started asking what time I finished work. He was persistent, but kinda playing a nice guy, which felt even more manipulative......I know if I say anything, he'll act all innocent and twist it....He actually messaged me after he left, apologising for asking so many questions, saying he's just nosy and apologising if he'd offended me. So he's already covering his back in case he's questioned about it. Sly and manipulative are the words that spring to mind.....
You're not overreacting at all, I'd have felt the same as you. I get it, sometimes you let things slide at first when you don't want to make things awkward (even though they're the ones being inappropriate) and they seem to interpret it as you accepting their come on which is not the case at all. I hope you don't have to see him again.
Maybe if you have to buy something else a nice satin skirt in a neutral black or cream/gold then you can switch up the shoes and cami/tops for future events to create different looks. Might be cheaper than a new full outfit each time.The groom is our friend so comms have been somewhat minimal (!). I only realised when my husband picked up his suit and it had the green waist coat, pocket square etc.
I do think you're right though. I won't feel comfortable in the green. Thanks to all who replied.
My daughter was supposed to have a beauty treatment this evening and the lady cancelled this morning because she was poorly with a sickness bug, of course this cannot be helped and I’m glad she told us my issue is she has been promoting said treatment on her page this evening and has been responding to comments, in my opinion this doesn’t add up! As I think if I were that unwell the last thing I would think of doing is this, am I overreacting or is this a bit odd? I’m not sure what to think? She offered to rebook for 2 days time and I’ve said I will let her know fortunately I didn’t pay anything
Honestly I wouldn't be too bothered with her doing that. I know my beautician follows the NHS guidance which is that if you've vomited or had diarrhoea within the last 48 hours, you shouldn't be doing work with people in close proximity (such as beauty treatments).
That doesn't necessarily mean that they're so ill they can't be on their phone etc - they probably just have a dodgy tummy and are catching up on the social media side of the job whilst they're out of 'physical' work.
It wouldn’t worry me. It makes sense if she’s had to have a few days off that she’s now trying to drum up more custom.
Sickness comes with a 48 hour no contact rule so she could be over it but being safe. She could’ve had something she didn’t want to discuss so said tummy bug too so I’d certainly give the benefit of the doubt.
No wouldn't even cross my mind. The amount of times I've had to keep my kids off school for the "48 hour rule" after an episode of vomiting or diarrhoea and they've been fine and bouncing off the walls a couple of hours after it has happened.
Does anyone go to Puregym? What attracts me to them is the cost is lower than my more local gyms . And the fact I'm less likely to bump into people I know there.
Chain gym like any other imo. Can get busy at popular times eg. 5pm. Has the main equipment needed. Some pure gyms will be better than others. What i really didn't like about some of them is having some machines on one floor, others on another. You see a machine taken so you go to another floor do something else, that one is taken so you go back to previous floor. Next thing you know you did a cardio workout instead of weights with all this walking about
Anyone else's Facebook not allow full access to your photos despite having the permission as "always allow"? I've tried taking the permission off then putting it back on, uninstalling an reinstalling, taking it back to default settings, but still can't get full access to it
Hi everyone, I have a low stakes but weird situation. I'm wondering if anyone recognises this as an online scam, or something else?
Yesterday a social media account messaged me. "She" asked if I had worked at [place] a few years ago. I replied "No, I didn't, sorry." Thinking it was someone trying to reach an old friend or something. But the creepy thing is, I did work at a place with a very, very similar name. So it was possible that it was someone who knew me. I'm trying to think whether I ever posted online publicly that I worked there, or tagged myself in their social media (it was abig business where they wanted to show us having fun on SM a lot).
I looked her "her" profile, and it only has one picture, just of a nature landscape, no person in it. Account name is a common female name. Account is a month old. So it's a fake account, obviously.
The weird thing is, I feel like "she" is trying to keep the conversation going with me. I only replied once, but she replied today saying not to worry, she thought I was a girl she knew at school 20 years ago, because I was suggested to her on Instagram even though she hadn't searched for anyone with my name. She asked me how that could have happened. (Idk, duck off?) And weirdly, said "I shall now call you The Wrong [my name]." As if we were ever going to talk again?
I'm not going to reply again. I know I should block and ignore. But I'm a bit disconcerted because whoever is behind this obviously fake profile possibly knows where I used to work. "She" has now watched a Story I posted - just a generic meme, nothing revealing.
I know I should just block them, but I'm kinda worried if it's some weirdo trying to get access to me, maybe I should make note of it, in case they try again.
Does anyone know if there is a scam like this, where they contact you trying to start a conversation about where you worked, or pretending they thought you were somebody else? Or is it more likely to be an ex boyfriend or something messing with me?
Yesterday a social media account messaged me. "She" asked if I had worked at [place] a few years ago. I replied "No, I didn't, sorry." Thinking it was someone trying to reach an old friend or something. But the creepy thing is, I did work at a place with a very, very similar name. So it was possible that it was someone who knew me. I'm trying to think whether I ever posted online publicly that I worked there, or tagged myself in their social media (it was abig business where they wanted to show us having fun on SM a lot).
I looked her "her" profile, and it only has one picture, just of a nature landscape, no person in it. Account name is a common female name. Account is a month old. So it's a fake account, obviously.
The weird thing is, I feel like "she" is trying to keep the conversation going with me. I only replied once, but she replied today saying not to worry, she thought I was a girl she knew at school 20 years ago, because I was suggested to her on Instagram even though she hadn't searched for anyone with my name. She asked me how that could have happened. (Idk, duck off?) And weirdly, said "I shall now call you The Wrong [my name]." As if we were ever going to talk again?
I'm not going to reply again. I know I should block and ignore. But I'm a bit disconcerted because whoever is behind this obviously fake profile possibly knows where I used to work. "She" has now watched a Story I posted - just a generic meme, nothing revealing.
I know I should just block them, but I'm kinda worried if it's some weirdo trying to get access to me, maybe I should make note of it, in case they try again.
Does anyone know if there is a scam like this, where they contact you trying to start a conversation about where you worked, or pretending they thought you were somebody else? Or is it more likely to be an ex boyfriend or something messing with me?
Scams like these are incredible common unfortunately, these people can get information very easily even if you think you have hide it or never put it up, everything these days has social footprints an even if you never put anything up about where you worked, sometimes just by accessing records from the business can give out the details, our information is sold constantly an it doesn't even need to come from us
I've had scams call me an they have even been able to say my birth date, something I have never given out, they will phone pretending to be someone then rattle off a few details like my DOB, full name, even my town in the hopes I'll fall for it thinking they must be legit if they have these details
I'd block an leave it, unless you know the person 100% an can message them another way (email, phone, visit etc) just to confirm it's them then block, if anyone contacts me now I go straight to the person another way just to confirm, even with businesses I'll get their official number or email an contact them myself to check
I stupidly bought an airtag from vinted to use for when I travel so I can track my luggage. When I got it I realised it's not compatible with android 
. Does anyone have any recommendations for one for android?
. Does anyone have any recommendations for one for android?Small bit of work advice - do I go to my boss about this?
I got invited to a Teams call today by a colleague I'll call Y, a technical one for an upcoming event (I don't really do technical stuff, so bit perplexed, but stayed to be polite). Gave our boss an update after the call as she is on a work trip. Boss asked why I was even in the meeting, and I said I was confused too, but had a question to ask her anyway that came from the meeting and she gave me an answer. Told colleague Y the answer (it involved follow up) and I asked colleague Y if she's happy to do that or if I should and that task should be managed by me going forwards - I outlined this task hasn't been under me previously so I'm just checking to see if it is this time. Her response was 'well it isn't in my job description' so I said 'no problem, I'll talk to our boss'.
A bit later, my boss told me she told colleague Y to not invite me to technical calls from now on as there's no need, that our roles should remain as they are. I said thanks, happy with that my end as I'm busy enough with what's on my plate.
About an hour later I'm in the break room and colleague Y asks to speak to me. She does so in front of our CEO and deputy CEO's offices, who have their doors open and can clearly hear. She asks me 'why I said I'd be happy to do a task if I'm not'. And I said it's absolutely not about not wanting to do it, I just wanted to make sure that I understood my role in the event and that nothing slipped through the cracks by me missing something being under my care. She kept on getting really quite close to my face and insisting that 'if I have bad feelings or tensions I need to tell her to her face' and 'be honest if you don't want to do something' and I was just... perplexed. I kept trying to give her a way out and diffuse the tension by saying I know I ask plenty of questions, we're a newly merged team and I'm just making sure I'm not missing anything, genuinely always happy to help where I can - even if it's pointing someone to the right person. She could clearly see it wasn't really going anywhere and ended it all with 'well you just shouldn't say you're happy to do something when you're not' and walked off.
I could tell she was still pissed off, but it felt really quite aggressive. She's also junior to me (I'm management, she is not) and doing it in front of the CEO's office felt deliberate. I feel like I'm unsure of two things here:
1) should I tell my boss, who returns from her work trip tomorrow, what happened?
2) did I do anything wrong here in how I handled the confusion?
Sorry for the long post!
I got invited to a Teams call today by a colleague I'll call Y, a technical one for an upcoming event (I don't really do technical stuff, so bit perplexed, but stayed to be polite). Gave our boss an update after the call as she is on a work trip. Boss asked why I was even in the meeting, and I said I was confused too, but had a question to ask her anyway that came from the meeting and she gave me an answer. Told colleague Y the answer (it involved follow up) and I asked colleague Y if she's happy to do that or if I should and that task should be managed by me going forwards - I outlined this task hasn't been under me previously so I'm just checking to see if it is this time. Her response was 'well it isn't in my job description' so I said 'no problem, I'll talk to our boss'.
A bit later, my boss told me she told colleague Y to not invite me to technical calls from now on as there's no need, that our roles should remain as they are. I said thanks, happy with that my end as I'm busy enough with what's on my plate.
About an hour later I'm in the break room and colleague Y asks to speak to me. She does so in front of our CEO and deputy CEO's offices, who have their doors open and can clearly hear. She asks me 'why I said I'd be happy to do a task if I'm not'. And I said it's absolutely not about not wanting to do it, I just wanted to make sure that I understood my role in the event and that nothing slipped through the cracks by me missing something being under my care. She kept on getting really quite close to my face and insisting that 'if I have bad feelings or tensions I need to tell her to her face' and 'be honest if you don't want to do something' and I was just... perplexed. I kept trying to give her a way out and diffuse the tension by saying I know I ask plenty of questions, we're a newly merged team and I'm just making sure I'm not missing anything, genuinely always happy to help where I can - even if it's pointing someone to the right person. She could clearly see it wasn't really going anywhere and ended it all with 'well you just shouldn't say you're happy to do something when you're not' and walked off.
I could tell she was still pissed off, but it felt really quite aggressive. She's also junior to me (I'm management, she is not) and doing it in front of the CEO's office felt deliberate. I feel like I'm unsure of two things here:
1) should I tell my boss, who returns from her work trip tomorrow, what happened?
2) did I do anything wrong here in how I handled the confusion?
Sorry for the long post!
100% tell your boss and also let her know you are not happy about the “aggressive” confrontation.
You did nothing wrong and even if you did your colleague reacted out of order.
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