The advice thread for random problems #6

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Snippysnips

I would be tempted to get my own place, while it might be good to be at your friends, are you still going be fine months down the line or when she or you want friends to come over an the other doesn't? Obvs I don't know what your friend is like an you have said you both have similar attitudes but do you know fully what she's like in her own home? I know for me if I was with someone I'd need the place kept in strict order which would cause stress if I ended up with someone who couldn't/didn't live like that, but that is just me, if you are fine to go with the flow then maybe you could try it temporarily till you find somewhere
 

Former_Antelopee

I have an issue with a friend. He told another friend I said something to him which I definitely would not have said. Another friend asked me about it as he had gone to her about it and she also asked another friend who was there that day. The other friend had said I hadn't said anything and a really thinks it was him who mentioned it and I wasn't involved. I've been thinking and I think the friend who said I'd said something did bring up the topic of conversation but I said I didn't agree and actually said I don't think it would happen (I still believe this) whereas he was saying he thinks it will.
Because my other friend said I wasn't involved in the convo do I just leave it or should I tell the friend I thought about it he did bring it up but I said I didn't think it would happen whereas he bought it up thinking it will and that I definitely did not say the thing would happen to him?
When I was asked about it I forgot about the conversation as it was shortish and because I said I didn't think it would happen I didn't think about it again
Don't want to put any details so I hope this makes sense
 
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qqwertyy

I’d move in with your friend! The fact that she’s away so often means that you’re less likely to rub each other up the wrong way, and if you hate it or it doesn’t work out you know that you can afford the option to move in by yourself as a safety net. You’d also have more money saved by then which would ease the strain of living alone if it did come to that. Exciting times!
 
Reactions: 4

Kim Mild

I wouldn't if it was the friend's place and she would be your landlord . I think there would be a power imbalance. Perhaps if you were both tenant it would be ok .
 

cowtastrophe

I agree with this. For a difference of around £200 per month I think I’d rather have my own place.
 
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allthingschocolate

After some advice please if possible, I have a family meal booked tomorrow evening there’s 7 of us in total, the meal is for my teen kids birthday, I’ve already paid a deposit (£70) does this suggest that as I arranged it I should also pay the final bill? My parents have already said they aren’t expecting me too and have assumed that they would pay for there own meals, but I’m unsure about my brother, his wife & my niece, for perspective I am a single mom on a one income wage, whilst my pay isn’t horrendous i am unfortunately not in the financial position that my family members are in (flash cars, big houses, mortgage free etc) I wish I was in the position to pay it all , but my question is does it look bad if I don’t pay the full bill, Totally Expecting it not to be cheap, I also don’t drink alcohol and the rest of them do, what would others do in this situation?
 
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OnlyHereForTheLolz

You should've stated with the invitation that it's "pay-your-own-way". I do think that there might be some who are assuming the invitation included you paying. If I were you I'd phone up everyone and have the conversation before the meal. Not everyone might want to come and despite all their "flash cars" might not have as much disposable income as you think
 
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cowtastrophe

I don’t think there’s an automatic expectation that the arranger pays the bill but to avoid any awkward discussions when the bill lands, I’d probably suggest beforehand that it’s split.
 
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allthingschocolate

Fair comment I don’t think they will assume anything as when I arranged it, it was more a case of are you free such and such date and then I confirmed that the Table was booked sort of thing but your right perhaps I should have made it clearer I guess I will likely take the hit on it this time nevermind.
 

NowIsGood

What are you storing? This might be a good time to review what you're holding on to and whether you need it. Is it worth the stress and the financial burden? £75/month feels a lot for 8 boxes, would you consider condensing it down to a few boxes that you could keep at home?
 
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petitspois

It would be easiest if one of your parents just mentioned to your brother that you’re all paying your own bills.
 
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Pesky Tarian

allthingschocolate said:
Thankyou yes good point I will do
Click to expand...
Possibly say everyone pays their own way and you will provide dessert (take a supermarket cake, if ok'd by the venue) which is what we usually do.

If I received an 'are you free on this date' type invite I certainly wouldn't expect a free meal, hopefully your guests feel the same. Have a lovely time!.
 
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Chocolategoggler

I've been invited to a Muslim friend's house for a meal.
Should I take something and if so what.
I'm not sure what the expectations are. ,
 
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allthingschocolate

Thankyou for your advice, I agree yes I have a cake to take with me
 
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Former_Antelopee

What have you done previously? I would expect to pay for my own and we have always done that in my family. If we do pay for the others going we would tell them when we invited
 
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bozlem3080

It’s mainly clothes I have, bits of kitchenware, I have limited space as live in a shared house, the room is tiny, I did have about 12 boxes originally my friend suggested vacuum bags for the remainder of my stuff & be even more ruthless in throwing things out then try & shove it in a few boxes & stack in my wardrobe but I’m just so limited on space.

The company have got back to me & admitted they did send emails out about the price increase but then turned it back on me saying it most probably went into my spam inbox! This was after I threatened them with trading standards, I’ve been checking my spam inbox every few days since the end of Feb as started a new job & they sent over my right to work entitlement so the email was never sent in the first place from the storage company!
 
Reactions: 1

Magwitch

Chocolategoggler said:
I've been invited to a Muslim friend's house for a meal.
Should I take something and if so what.
I'm not sure what the expectations are. ,
Click to expand...
I always take something. Flowers would be a good bet in this case. There are some lovely spring bouquets at the moment.
 
Reactions: 3

NoHintOfDrama

Chocolategoggler said:
I've been invited to a Muslim friend's house for a meal.
Should I take something and if so what.
I'm not sure what the expectations are. ,
Click to expand...
Flowers or a sweet treat. We had an iftar at work recently (breaking the fast) and I took a box of baklava from Sainsbury's and a fruit platter.
 
Reactions: 2
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