The advice thread for random problems #5

[havee]

hi guys, so my 8 year old sibling got invited to classmate birthday, however their not close etc so as shocked. anyway could not find a gift and haven't been invited to kids parties often so didn't know the etiquette. they went to bowling and had pizza after. i feel guilty now as i only gave £10 and a card. they did a lot of fun expensive stuff / had food which is expensive. now i think i should've gave £20. i'm worried that the parent will think i'm stingy and potentially not invite my sibling next year. but i also feel guilty for not giving a enough gift. what can i / should i do now. buy another gift at £10 and give them at school so value of overall present is £20 or give my sibling £10 to give his classmate etc. what is the etiquette for how much gift/cash to give for birthday

 

[chickhicks86]

hi guys, so my 8 year old sibling got invited to classmate birthday, however their not close etc so as shocked. anyway could not find a gift and haven't been invited to kids parties often so didn't know the etiquette. they went to bowling and had pizza after. i feel guilty now as i only gave £10 and a card. they did a lot of fun expensive stuff / had food which is expensive. now i think i should've gave £20. i'm worried that the parent will think i'm stingy and potentially not invite my sibling next year. but i also feel guilty for not giving a enough gift. what can i / should i do now. buy another gift at £10 and give them at school so value of overall present is £20 or give my sibling £10 to give his classmate etc. what is the etiquette for how much gift/cash to give for birthday

Bless you, honestly £10 is fine! 99% parents do no put a party on for their kids to get the exact same value that they have spent back in presents.

More to the point though, why are you dealing with all this and not your parents? You sound very young (in the nicest possible way!) and it shouldn't be your job to do all this - your sibling is very lucky to have you.

How are you getting on with the rent situation? Do you have any outside support from uni etc?

 

[Snippysnips]

hi guys, so my 8 year old sibling got invited to classmate birthday, however their not close etc so as shocked. anyway could not find a gift and haven't been invited to kids parties often so didn't know the etiquette. they went to bowling and had pizza after. i feel guilty now as i only gave £10 and a card. they did a lot of fun expensive stuff / had food which is expensive. now i think i should've gave £20. i'm worried that the parent will think i'm stingy and potentially not invite my sibling next year. but i also feel guilty for not giving a enough gift. what can i / should i do now. buy another gift at £10 and give them at school so value of overall present is £20 or give my sibling £10 to give his classmate etc. what is the etiquette for how much gift/cash to give for birthday

The gift sounds fine, £10 is more than enough an is what my aunt done for whenever my cousin's got invited to party's, parents don't know your circumstances an as far as they are aware that party could have been the 3rd or 4th one in a short amount of time so they won't mind what you give them, one of my cousins had about 5 in a month just because the kids were all so close together in birthdays an it was also close to her own kids birthday as well so money was obviously tight for her

It seems to be the norm now that it's no longer a hall for a party with some games but bowling or the cinema an then food, if parents want to do that then it's fine but don't feel like you need to up the present to match, most of the time you get a deal if you book party's at these things (I know our bowling does kids party deals) or the parent could have gotten a deal through work or someone working there, when I was a kid we always went to the swimming place for a pool party cause my mum worked for the company that owned it so she got it really cheap but people didn't know that

 

[gabbysolis]

hi guys, so my 8 year old sibling got invited to classmate birthday, however their not close etc so as shocked. anyway could not find a gift and haven't been invited to kids parties often so didn't know the etiquette. they went to bowling and had pizza after. i feel guilty now as i only gave £10 and a card. they did a lot of fun expensive stuff / had food which is expensive. now i think i should've gave £20. i'm worried that the parent will think i'm stingy and potentially not invite my sibling next year. but i also feel guilty for not giving a enough gift. what can i / should i do now. buy another gift at £10 and give them at school so value of overall present is £20 or give my sibling £10 to give his classmate etc. what is the etiquette for how much gift/cash to give for birthday

5 or 10 pound is plenty for an 8 year old! It’s the parents choice what to spend on their party (activity, food etc.) and it’s not your job to recoup the cost for them through a gift xx

 

[becca7721]

Question about best before dates.

A friend with her husband has opened a new shop. I went to buy some things and all had expired “before before”. I mentioned it after he asked me why I was looking at dates and didn’t I trust them, and he went for me calling me stupid and it’s totally ok to sell as it’s not “use by”. BUT the food doesn’t have a “use by”, then he had a go at me about lying about my age - he’s determined I’m almost two decades younger than I am (yep I took it as a compliment, which actually made him worse) so yep he’s a git

I know best before doesn’t necessarily mean anything, but how does someone (business/customer) know if it’s ok to sell if there’s no use by? I’m worried for my friend (for more than one reason now having met her husband!).

She’s illegally giving out free carrier bags because he says it’s fine (in wales it’s not and is very strict, they’ve moved here from England where the rules are more relaxed).

I don’t want her business to fail or her to get into trouble.

 

[chickhicks86]

Question about best before dates.

A friend with her husband has opened a new shop. I went to buy some things and all had expired “before before”. I mentioned it after he asked me why I was looking at dates and didn’t I trust them, and he went for me calling me stupid and it’s totally ok to sell as it’s not “use by”. BUT the food doesn’t have a “use by”, then he had a go at me about lying about my age - he’s determined I’m almost two decades younger than I am (yep I took it as a compliment, which actually made him worse) so yep he’s a git

I know best before doesn’t necessarily mean anything, but how does someone (business/customer) know if it’s ok to sell if there’s no use by? I’m worried for my friend (for more than one reason now having met her husband!).

She’s illegally giving out free carrier bags because he says it’s fine (in wales it’s not and is very strict, they’ve moved here from England where the rules are more relaxed).

I don’t want her business to fail or her to get into trouble.

I believe you can sell foods that are past their best before, as still safe to eat. It's a bit shady if they're not declaring it though!

 

[Snippysnips]

Question about best before dates.

A friend with her husband has opened a new shop. I went to buy some things and all had expired “before before”. I mentioned it after he asked me why I was looking at dates and didn’t I trust them, and he went for me calling me stupid and it’s totally ok to sell as it’s not “use by”. BUT the food doesn’t have a “use by”, then he had a go at me about lying about my age - he’s determined I’m almost two decades younger than I am (yep I took it as a compliment, which actually made him worse) so yep he’s a git

I know best before doesn’t necessarily mean anything, but how does someone (business/customer) know if it’s ok to sell if there’s no use by? I’m worried for my friend (for more than one reason now having met her husband!).

She’s illegally giving out free carrier bags because he says it’s fine (in wales it’s not and is very strict, they’ve moved here from England where the rules are more relaxed).

I don’t want her business to fail or her to get into trouble.

You can sell stuff that's got a best before date on it that's past it's date, however I don't believe you can charge full price for them plus it has to be clearly stated it's past it's best before, typically stores here have them by the till in like a little basket with a sign saying they are past the best before, you can't just put them in with the stuff that's fine

You CANNOT sell anything past it's date if it has a use by on it though, an can actually get in bother with that, anything coming close to it's use by usually shops sell cheap an again make it known it's close to it's expiry date or it's on the day of its expiry

I don't know about the carrier bags as am Scotland an here it's the shops decision if they want to charge or not, some do an some don't an that's with both private and franchise

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Question about best before dates.

A friend with her husband has opened a new shop. I went to buy some things and all had expired “before before”. I mentioned it after he asked me why I was looking at dates and didn’t I trust them, and he went for me calling me stupid and it’s totally ok to sell as it’s not “use by”. BUT the food doesn’t have a “use by”, then he had a go at me about lying about my age - he’s determined I’m almost two decades younger than I am (yep I took it as a compliment, which actually made him worse) so yep he’s a git

I know best before doesn’t necessarily mean anything, but how does someone (business/customer) know if it’s ok to sell if there’s no use by? I’m worried for my friend (for more than one reason now having met her husband!).

She’s illegally giving out free carrier bags because he says it’s fine (in wales it’s not and is very strict, they’ve moved here from England where the rules are more relaxed).

I don’t want her business to fail or her to get into trouble.

Make your friend aware of your concerns. Her husband is going to get them in trouble with this.

Personally I would let the local council know what is going on. They won't just shut the shop down but give them advice and time to improve

Also if her husband acts like that in general it's a concern and I would probably avoid them both. He can end up causing you a lot of trouble

 

[becca7721]

Thanks for all!!

Products aren’t full price there - hence shopping there.

The bags (paper as well as plastic) not being free is law here, there’s a minimum charge and must be kept separate.

Make your friend aware of your concerns. Her husband is going to get them in trouble with this.

Personally I would let the local council know what is going on. They won't just shut the shop down but give them advice and time to improve

Also if her husband acts like that in general it's a concern and I would probably avoid them both. He can end up causing you a lot of trouble

I did make her aware yesterday, she was shocked and immediately said she needed to ask him and that was when it all went south and his true colours showed. I know the council have already been out because of other issues with the shop to do with allergens/no disabled access (far too cluttered - yes I’m aware of the irony of me, a hoarder, saying that) she said they were simple fixes and some other stuff they needed to sort, kept going back. BUT at that time the best before issue didn’t exist (as it was start of September and dates I found were 30/09/24); one item (bag of small chocolate bars for Halloween) is cheaper from Tesco with clubcard *and* not after best before.

Prior to the shop they had a market stall in England, from what was said yesterday (another rant ) that’s still the case. Because of devolution there’s many laws that are different here. No matter how much they (or most of us to be frank) rant about them.

I totally agree regarding her husband!!

 

[Snippysnips]

I'd just let the council deal with them, sounds like they couldn't care less but eventually council will give then a ultimatum, either fix the issues or face getting closed down

The price is tricky because technically there's nothing wrong with them being more expensive than Tesco's for out of date stuff, you can charge whatever you want for your own stock, however if her crisps are say £1 an she's selling out of date crisps also at a £1 then am not sure if that's allowed, if it's out of date it usually has to be cheaper than what the price of the in date stuff is if that makes sense, like here you can buy crisps at 85p but the ones that are past their date are usually like 10p or 5p, it's always mega cheap

 

[GalaxyGirl70]

There's a local "bargain" store by us that is always rammed at the weekends but everything is past its dates. We tried a few things and they tasted revolting, I banned my husband from going back.

 

[becca7721]

I'd just let the council deal with them, sounds like they couldn't care less but eventually council will give then a ultimatum, either fix the issues or face getting closed down

The price is tricky because technically there's nothing wrong with them being more expensive than Tesco's for out of date stuff, you can charge whatever you want for your own stock, however if her crisps are say £1 an she's selling out of date crisps also at a £1 then am not sure if that's allowed, if it's out of date it usually has to be cheaper than what the price of the in date stuff is if that makes sense, like here you can buy crisps at 85p but the ones that are past their date are usually like 10p or 5p, it's always mega cheap

Thanks for the reply.

When walking by earlier I overheard people commenting on it, so I’ll just let it run it’s course I think, I’ve too much on my plate right now. The tesco thing was a really bad example of what I was trying to say, so ignore that! Sorry. The best before expired is mixed in the same basket and same price, so it’s all £2 (for example). I could understand if it had a use-by as well but none of it does.

 

[Snippysnips]

Thanks for the reply.

When walking by earlier I overheard people commenting on it, so I’ll just let it run it’s course I think, I’ve too much on my plate right now. The tesco thing was a really bad example of what I was trying to say, so ignore that! Sorry. The best before expired is mixed in the same basket and same price, so it’s all £2 (for example). I could understand if it had a use-by as well but none of it does.

Yeah I'd let it run it's course, eventually people will end up buying past it's before date an taking it back a bit pissed off if they have picked it up thinking it's good when it's not, I know for me I'd like to know if it was past it's date as some foods are really disgusting, crisps for example I find go all soft, so if they are mixing them all in then eventually that will come back to bite them in the ass without you having to get bother from the husband

 

[GalaxyGirl70]

Can anyone recommend any good websites for wall art? I've just redone a bedroom and it's a bit plainer than I wanted so need some jazzy wall art to brighten it up. Not worried about cost, just want the right thing but there are so many websites I'm not sure where to start.....

 

[piquant]

Can anyone recommend any good websites for wall art? I've just redone a bedroom and it's a bit plainer than I wanted so need some jazzy wall art to brighten it up. Not worried about cost, just want the right thing but there are so many websites I'm not sure where to start.....

I've see some quite good stuff on Fy ...haven't ordered anything yet but they have a wide selection of prints/ frames etc

Art Prints | Unique Art Prints by Independent Artists | Fy!

Shop unique art prints from independent artists. Museum-quality paper prints in sizes to fit every space — buy unframed or add a frame at checkout. Free shipping & easy returns.

www.iamfy.co

 

[Pesky Tarian]

Can anyone recommend any good websites for wall art? I've just redone a bedroom and it's a bit plainer than I wanted so need some jazzy wall art to brighten it up. Not worried about cost, just want the right thing but there are so many websites I'm not sure where to start.....

I've had a glass piece recently from here, really different

New Arrivals

artronauts.co.uk

I had the painted woods.

 

[Thank(space)you]

I've tried Google but I'm a dumb witch apparently my friend got a loan with a settlement fee of £4K. What is the settlement fee?

 

[becca7721]

I've tried Google but I'm a dumb witch apparently my friend got a loan with a settlement fee of £4K. What is the settlement fee?

From my experience with the dodgy buggers who brought my student loan (so it may be total rubbish) it was offered instead of full payment. But like I said they’re really dodgy (as in barred from operating in the US for student loans these days) could be a load of rubbish.

 

[avabella]

I've tried Google but I'm a dumb witch apparently my friend got a loan with a settlement fee of £4K. What is the settlement fee?

The settlement fee is just that, how much it will cost to settle the loan. How much is the loan for?

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

Hi random advice gurus! Anyone in the position of their little ones starting reception next year? Does anyone know if there’s a thread for it? We’re in a rubbish position where we are looking to relocate but don’t know much about the area and my mum guilt is going into overdrive.