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Those are amazing, well done
am quite looking forward to getting mine nowIt’s hard. I don’t know what the milestone is but I have four kids, I’ve never gotten married and I’m not likely to do well career wise or own my own house, ever. I have no sporting achievements either! I’m sure you have great stuff you do that they can’t or won’t though.
Just about every milestone comes with strings attached. A house? Mortgage payments for a property that may devalue, maintenance payments, tied down. Kids? Lack of freedom, life long commitment. Marriage? Expensive wedding, difficult to walk away from if it goes badly. Promotion? Additional responsibilities, feeling tied in etc…
I’m not saying any of these things are negative or shouldn’t be celebrated but look on the bright side of what you have that the other person doesn’t have. You can’t buy time, freedom or opportunity. Try to make the most of the positives in your own situation while you can and if it’s a life goal you really want to achieve, come up with a proactive plan of how you can work toward it.
Easier said than done of course but their success does not limit your potential.
honeslty I dont have any achievments and they are the ideal child my parent wanted to it hurts even more. but as the advice is easily given. but thank you fro replying and i am sure you also have achievements sending lots of love.
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yh thats true, it's just I have been compared to this person and their achievements/milestones and now they got thier next one so it feels like a stab in the heart and i cannot shake the feeling off.
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I’ve been there with my sister. She’s now happily married, has a child, mortgage, degree, travels and I’m always compared. I’ve qualifications but can no longer work - I’m seen as “dosser” even when I did work and could travel and do things I loved I was still a dosser. Got my degree, dosser wasting time and money. I’ll never get married, achieve anything I wanted to because of my illness.
One thing that really helped me I got from a self help book, decades ago, and that was purchasing a notebook and writing every single thing I had achieved, and, it was every single thing. So for example I learnt to talk, walk and other things. Judging yourself by others, which is very very easy NEVER helps. There’s a poem called The (spelling isn’t right something like that) which explains it perfectly. Go google and read it.
It’s an exceptionally hard thing to do. But do, do try the notebook, and, some colouring pencils and really celebrate what YOU have achieved. What it took for you to meet those achievements. Start with being born.
Yes I know it sounds silly. A friend actually bought me the book and first lot of colouring pencils because I thought it silly but it really did help. Other things help me too but as they’re connected to my faith I won’t be putting them here as I don’t want to cause any offence.
One thing that really helped me I got from a self help book, decades ago, and that was purchasing a notebook and writing every single thing I had achieved, and, it was every single thing. So for example I learnt to talk, walk and other things. Judging yourself by others, which is very very easy NEVER helps. There’s a poem called The (spelling isn’t right something like that) which explains it perfectly. Go google and read it.
It’s an exceptionally hard thing to do. But do, do try the notebook, and, some colouring pencils and really celebrate what YOU have achieved. What it took for you to meet those achievements. Start with being born.
Yes I know it sounds silly. A friend actually bought me the book and first lot of colouring pencils because I thought it silly but it really did help. Other things help me too but as they’re connected to my faith I won’t be putting them here as I don’t want to cause any offence.
Just try to remember that these “achievements” are as judged by a society interested in tick boxes. A degree is celebrated but what about the 4 years career progression you have when not doing one? A marriage can of course be wonderful but is it not better to know you’ve never “settled” just to get a tick in that box if you’ve not found the right person? I’m not saying take away from the other person’s achievement, but just because you can’t buy a card at Clinton’s for whatever you have, doesn’t mean it’s not to be celebrated or an achievement in itself. Happiness, self love, being comfortable in your own company, knowing your worth, not being stuck in the system, having your own freedoms…. These are the things I want for my daughter. Yes the traditional milestones would be nice too but if she can grow up with peace of mind, confidence and the courage of her convictions that would be better imo than any “milestone” achievement. I know plenty of people who have the milestones under their belt but they’re no happier than those that don’t but are comfortable with that\don’t want them anyway. There’s no one set path to suit everyone.
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that poem was beautiful. Thank you for taking time to comfort me, i really appreciate it and i would love to hear the other things that helped you even if they are connected to a faith
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yh that is true, thank you as well for your kind words and for comforting this heart of mine
Hello all- short update from me.
Thank you for the advice, it was cathartic for me to get it out- that was just as helpful as the advice!
In the end, I only ran into Morag in the corridor, said hello then popped into the office right where I bumped into her, which was where I was headed for anyway!
I have been running around like a proverbial blue arsed fly all week and hardly had any time to stop so I won’t have come across as rude.
Thank you for the advice, it was cathartic for me to get it out- that was just as helpful as the advice!
In the end, I only ran into Morag in the corridor, said hello then popped into the office right where I bumped into her, which was where I was headed for anyway!
I have been running around like a proverbial blue arsed fly all week and hardly had any time to stop so I won’t have come across as rude.
Hi all after some advice my next door neighbours mum keeps parking right outside my house as in if I open my door there is her car (which is on my land) if there are no spaces opposite (plenty round the other side which are still very close) I get on well with my neighbours and I really don’t want it to be awkward, but this has happened twice this week so is becoming a lot more frequent, her mum is round a lot (neighbour has just had a baby) which is understandable, her mum did ask me once not so long ago if she could park outside my house so I said yes but I now feel like she’s taking the piss and has assumed she can now park there whenever
unsure how to approach this I did consider either leaving my car parked where she does (even though I have a driveway) maybe she will take the hint or leave a rubbish bin there?! has anyone been through this before and how did you deal with it?
unsure how to approach this I did consider either leaving my car parked where she does (even though I have a driveway) maybe she will take the hint or leave a rubbish bin there?! has anyone been through this before and how did you deal with it?Not sure there's anything you can do about it if they are on the road, usually only the pavement can be classed as your land or not, like our house deeds include the pavement outside our house but not the road so as much as my neighbours do it constantly there's nothing I can do about it, an unless they are causing real problems (blocking your drive) then I doubt there's anything you can doHi all after some advice my next door neighbours mum keeps parking right outside my house (on my land) if there are no spaces opposite (plenty round the other side which are still very close) I get on well with my neighbours and don’t want it to be awkward, but this has happened twice this week so is becoming more frequent, her mum is round a lot (she’s just had a baby) which is fair enough and her mum did ask me the once not so long ago if she could park outside my house so I said yes but now feels like she’s taking the piss and has assumed she can now park there whenever
Hi it’s not a road it forms part of the pathway to my house/drive if that makes sense
I think the only thing you can do if you don’t want to say stop parking there to her is put your car where she parks and ensure she can’t park anywhere else on your land. And remain consistent. Sounds like you’ve said yes and meant the once and she’s heard yes and decided it meant for now and ever moreHi all after some advice my next door neighbours mum keeps parking right outside my house as in if I open my door there is her car (which is on my land) if there are no spaces opposite (plenty round the other side which are still very close) I get on well with my neighbours and I really don’t want it to be awkward, but this has happened twice this week so is becoming a lot more frequent, her mum is round a lot (neighbour has just had a baby) which is understandable, her mum did ask me once not so long ago if she could park outside my house so I said yes but I now feel like she’s taking the piss and has assumed she can now park there whenever
so annoying!Ahhh no worries, you could probably ask the council, depending on where you are you can actually get fined for parking on the pavement/pathways now so if they are on yours then they would be the best ones to go too, but parking your car where she parks could also be another way to discourage her, however if you are out an she sees your not there she might park again
If it's a pathway maybe some nice large decorative rocks? Or flower boxes? If that could work
Thankyou yes your right some people feel the need to take advantage, there are flats opposite and if there isn’t a vacant visitors space free then she parks right outside my front door where my window is its unbelievable! I don’t get why she needs to park right outside her daughter’s house it’s completely lazy and entitled behaviour, especially when there’s plenty of space round the corner! The irony is she’s a real fitness fanatic tooI think the only thing you can do if you don’t want to say stop parking there to her is put your car where she parks and ensure she can’t park anywhere else on your land. And remain consistent. Sounds like you’ve said yes and meant the once and she’s heard yes and decided it meant for now and ever more
Half the issue is that you gave her permission so how should she know it’s annoying you?Thankyou yes your right some people feel the need to take advantage, there are flats opposite and if there isn’t a vacant visitors space free then she parks right outside my front door where my window is its unbelievable! I don’t get why she needs to park right outside her daughter’s house it’s completely lazy and entitled behaviour, especially when there’s plenty of space round the corner! The irony is she’s a real fitness fanatic too
You’ll have to bite the bullet and knock on your neighbours door when she’s next round. Jus politely tell her that in the future can she please par somehwere else as you thought it was a one time thing
I read the bible as much as I can and pray. I took up bible journaling/colouring. There are some excellent Christian based resources around, one I found helpful was a pocket book of prayers which was collated by people doing AA, I’ll see if I can find a title for you, mines, literally, in bits now. Not all of it is relevant but the poem was in there, you can also get that on cards. When I can I pray the rosary and do novenas. Compline is a lovely service before bed, YouTube have some excellent ones, if you can find it then the ones by stanbrook abbey and prinknash are worth a listen (ones in Latin other English). I listen to scripture on YouTube as well.
During hard times it’s difficult to do this so I try as a minimum to watch/say compline and pray (as in talk, give thanks when things go right mostly because that’s what I need to remember the things that are going well even if it’s small stuff like someone helped me today when shopping. The bible journaling/colouring is really calming I find too.
I can’t manage services anymore, but when I could and found services that really led me to God I found them really helpful, particularly given my family situation.
Do you know about the app Soulspace? It’s a Christianity based meditation app, (I’m a bit all over the place faith wise with parents coming from two completely different religious backgrounds but both non practising). I find it lovely. You can use it free or there are a few more options with the paid version which isn’t that expensive compared to many apps. It also has a free anxiety widget. The reader is very soothing - I hate most readers of audio books etc so it was a big thing for me. It’s not specifically catholic though if that’s an issue. There is a catholic one linked with Mark Wahlberg but the name escapes me - it’s much more expensive though.
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Reading your response, it sounds like your parents are the issue not you. We should love people not their job/home/ jewelry etc. I’m willing to bet you’re a much nicer person than they are.
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