The advice thread for random problems #5

[TheGlossy]

Look at it this way. Something WILL go wrong of you don’t go again.
Dental decay and infection is linked to a great deal of health issues not just pertaining to the mouth. It’s even been linked to cognitive decline and Alzheimer’s. For the sake of your overall health, you need to get it sorted.
Speak to your dentist and explain your fears, they are well versed in it and can take special measures. You can also talk to your doctor about a calming med/mild sedative or even explore hypnotherapy or general therapy for the fear.
Do what you need to do to get it done, you’ll feel so much better once you have.

Thank you. You’re right - Failing to fix this will certainly lead to bigger health issues in the future. Bacteria will eventually travel to other parts of the body. I need to focus on the end result.
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Send them a nice gift and card apologising for not being able to come.
You don’t have to give them a reason just RSVP no
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I’m not scared of the dentist but could you take some calming tablets before hand?

Thank you. The thing is it’s not the procedure itself I’m afraid of. Pain etc doesn’t really scare me. The fear is related to the fact I’m engaging in another dental treatment after multiple failed ones with incompetent / shady dentists. It’s more of a trust related fear rather than a procedure related one. I just need to focus on the fact it will help me get better.

 

[becca7721]

I can recommend the following for support, they may be able to help:

Dental Phobia Forum

Are you terrified of the dentist? Get support with dental phobia and anxiety at Dental Fear Central.

www.dentalfearcentral.org

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Thank you. You’re right - Failing to fix this will certainly lead to bigger health issues in the future. Bacteria will eventually travel to other parts of the body. I need to focus on the end result.
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Thank you. The thing is it’s not the procedure itself I’m afraid of. Pain etc doesn’t really scare me. The fear is related to the fact I’m engaging in another dental treatment after multiple failed ones with incompetent / shady dentists. It’s more of a trust related fear rather than a procedure related one. I just need to focus on the fact it will help me get better.

I imagine taking calming tablets would still help. It takes the edge off

 

[tomato_paste]

Thank you. The thing is it’s not the procedure itself I’m afraid of. Pain etc doesn’t really scare me. The fear is related to the fact I’m engaging in another dental treatment after multiple failed ones with incompetent / shady dentists. It’s more of a trust related fear rather than a procedure related one. I just need to focus on the fact it will help me get better.

I'm you - had failed treatment(s) that even resulted in a payout from my old dentist's insurance because they ducked up so bad; additionally, they didn't believe me when I said I was in pain during a root canal, going so far as to scold me about being overly sensitive and causing drama.

First thing that helped was to find a dentist who took me seriously, and the second one was allowing my body the trauma responses during treatment without judging myself (and telling my dentist beforehand). Last time I had to have that tooth extracted (the one the first dentist ducked up), and I was stiff as a board, shaking like a leaf, disassociating, etc. My dentist understood and his assistant held my hand, calmed me, and let me come back to myself for a while before sending me home. He offers laughing gas or even complete anaesthesia if I want it which also helps - to have that choice, to be taken seriously by him.

 

[GalaxyGirl70]

I've got hyper sensitive teeth due to diabetes and my dentist is lovely - always numbs my gums completely before doing anything and then makes sure that I'm really well injected with anaesthetic. She's incredibly kind and patient, and even though it's a complete pain being over 20 miles away I wouldn't consider changing. She always makes a point of telling the assistant too that I've got hyper sensitivity so they even warm the rinsing water up!

 

[Aliceegordo]

Agree with the other voices here - she needs to grow up. Being civil isn't hard, and trying to control who you're friends with is just a big no. Your circles don't have to overlap either. Its none of her business who you are friends with outside of her.

Did she give you a reason why she dislikes them so much? Were they horrible to her in school or sthg? I would understand her reaction if it was something like her being bullied by them or having abuse heaped on her, but then she's the one that needs to tell you.

Thanks so much for this, everyones advice is so helpful. I was starting to think I was going mad!

No they weren't horrible to her in school or anything, she was essentially criticising the way that their relationship started (I believe they were both with other people). I feel so much better after seeing everyones comments, I'm definitely going to put our relationship on the back burner for a while.

I've put other people's happiness before my own for way too long and it's time to start thinking of myself x

 

[tomato_paste]

Thanks so much for this, everyones advice is so helpful. I was starting to think I was going mad!

No they weren't horrible to her in school or anything, she was essentially criticising the way that their relationship started (I believe they were both with other people). I feel so much better after seeing everyones comments, I'm definitely going to put our relationship on the back burner for a while.

I totally get wanting to take a step back, but as a matter of perspective, has she been cheated on before? A lot of people who have gone through that have had friends and / or family who knew about the cheating and didn't say a word, who didn't "take their side" in the break-up and are still friendly with the cheater even though it's a very painful thing to go through and it puts a massive dent in your self esteem. Were I in that situation, it would devastate me if my friends or family didn't rain hell and brimstone down on the cheater. Maybe the whole situation is just a massive trigger for her?

 

[Snippysnips]

Anyone recommend a good printer, need one to go with my custom pc as the one I've got isn't being recognised as it's too old now, preferably don't want one that's going be massive as I've limited room with where to put it, it needs to be quite good at printing on card as it's what it will mostly be used for

 

[Aliceegordo]

I totally get wanting to take a step back, but as a matter of perspective, has she been cheated on before? A lot of people who have gone through that have had friends and / or family who knew about the cheating and didn't say a word, who didn't "take their side" in the break-up and are still friendly with the cheater even though it's a very painful thing to go through and it puts a massive dent in your self esteem. Were I in that situation, it would devastate me if my friends or family didn't rain hell and brimstone down on the cheater. Maybe the whole situation is just a massive trigger for her?

Hey,

Totally get what you're saying, and have been in that situation myself! She hasn't been cheated on but I think you're 100% right in thinking that there is clearly something that is triggering her.


I think it's potentially that now my boyfriend is in the group, she had someone that she can gossip about school with. The rest of us all went to school together and have known each other our whole lives whereas she only came into the group when we were 17. I can see how sometimes when we're all talking about school/things that happened growing up, it could potentially be isolating for her. I think potentially she just got a bit carried away with gossip and it came back to bite her? Shedidn't keep any friends from school so there's a chance that she finds it a bit triggering thinking I'm going to leave her for people she went to school with?

I'm trying to have empathy and keep an open mind as best as I can but it's been v difficult when I'm being put in a difficult position

 

[Rodneytrotter]

I'm working zero hours at the moment but haven't had much work lately so I'm thinking of looking for a full time job. I have three children who are 9,10 and 14. I need reassurance that it will be okay and we will manage!

For me, it's not being able to mentally switch off which is half the problem.

 

[littlepup]

Anyone recommend a good printer, need one to go with my custom pc as the one I've got isn't being recognised as it's too old now, preferably don't want one that's going be massive as I've limited room with where to put it, it needs to be quite good at printing on card as it's what it will mostly be used for

You need to narrow down your spec. Laser or inkjet, B&W(mono) or colour, one sided or duplex, print only or photocopy/scan, speed of print, average usage? Then look at the GSM of your card to ensure it can handle it. Call someone like printerland with this info and they'll advise.

I'm working zero hours at the moment but haven't had much work lately so I'm thinking of looking for a full time job. I have three children who are 9,10 and 14. I need reassurance that it will be okay and we will manage!

For me, it's not being able to mentally switch off which is half the problem.

I should imagine logistically of course you'll manage but it'll be the lifestyle change for you all. It might help to speak to the kids about what it'll mean. If there'll be changes for them like wrap around care for the younger ones or perhaps you not being able to be around so much. See how they feel about it and ease the idea in and try to find something that works for you all. A bit of pre planning and managing expectations.
It's difficult with kids when they're too young to really grasp how much we need money rather than it being a choice.

 

[Snippysnips]

You need to narrow down your spec. Laser or inkjet, B&W(mono) or colour, one sided or duplex, print only or photocopy/scan, speed of print, average usage? Then look at the GSM of your card to ensure it can handle it. Call someone like printerland with this info and they'll advise.

Thanks, honestly am just looking for something that will print on card nothing fancy really, I do crafts an it's for putting the crafts on it when am done, other than that I probably won't use it too much

 

[griftalo]

Thanks, honestly am just looking for something that will print on card nothing fancy really, I do crafts an it's for putting the crafts on it when am done, other than that I probably won't use it too much

I’ve got a brother inkjet printer that’s been really reliable. I really didn’t want tying to some stupid ink contract. I’m on my second set of inks in a couple of years but I don’t print that much generally. I went mad at first and printed out a whole years planner (that I didn’t use).

 

[avabella]

Can anyone recommend me a decent, good looking coffee cup that fits in a car holder. One that doesn’t leak, keeps coffee hot, has an opening for drinking that’s not going to burn the mooth off you or dribble all over your white jersey - and most importantly, doesn’t smell funky after washing?!!

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Can anyone recommend me a decent, good looking coffee cup that fits in a car holder. One that doesn’t leak, keeps coffee hot, has an opening for drinking that’s not going to burn the mooth off you or dribble all over your white jersey - and most importantly, doesn’t smell funky after washing?!!

I have one from Sho. But I see they’re even better now. When I got mine you couldn’t close the lip you were drinking from. I’ve got a tumbler

Coffee Cups

Discover insulated, reusable coffee cups designed for both hot coffees and iced favourites. From spill-resistant lids to temperature-locking stainless steel, each cup keeps drinks just how you like them — with no compromise on performance or style.

shoreusable.com

 

[wtafisthis1980]

What's a good excuse not to go to a wedding? I don't want to go as I'm pretty sure I won't know anyone there which makes it worse and even if I do know someone it'll be probably 1 person max 2.
But this persons given me over a years notice (still not a year away yet) so I can't really say sorry 'I couldn't get it off work'.
I went to a wedding recently where I knew no one and I just felt awkward didn't have anything to talk to anyone about and they all knew eachother so were talking about things/people I had no idea about.
Plus I really want to go on holiday at the time of year this wedding is but I won't be able to get enough time off for both

Easy for me to say, BUT I’d just say you don’t want to go. I sat and decided when someone asked me the other day to go for coffee and I sat anxiously thinking what excuse I could give to not go. Truth was, I didn’t WANT to go And that’s ok.

So I told them and they accepted and that’s that.

 

[Snippysnips]

I’ve got a brother inkjet printer that’s been really reliable. I really didn’t want tying to some stupid ink contract. I’m on my second set of inks in a couple of years but I don’t print that much generally. I went mad at first and printed out a whole years planner (that I didn’t use).

Thanks I'll prob check it out, if I could just print out a ton of my cards I probably wouldn't need to use it again for a few months as well

 

[littlepup]

Thanks I'll prob check it out, if I could just print out a ton of my cards I probably wouldn't need to use it again for a few months as well

You can’t go wrong with Brother or Canon then IMO. Like I said, just make sure it accepts the GSM of your card. You won’t need to spend more than £60 if that.

 

[RandomUser12345]

Can anyone recommend me a decent, good looking coffee cup that fits in a car holder. One that doesn’t leak, keeps coffee hot, has an opening for drinking that’s not going to burn the mooth off you or dribble all over your white jersey - and most importantly, doesn’t smell funky after washing?!!

Highly recommend Chillys. Keeps drinks hot for ages. Mine is a few years old now so they've probably improved even more, if that's possible haha. They're a bit pricey but in my experience, worth the extra money as mine has lasted ages.

 

[GalaxyGirl70]

I've got an Emma Bridgewater chillys coffee cup and its brilliant, fits in the car and keeps drinks warm for a good few hours BUT it does leak from the lid hole, I've poured it all down me before now. Nespresso do some amazing ones, but they're too big for the car holders and have to go in the side pocket (I only discovered the other day that mine has a coffee mug slot, happy days, slightly ashamed to say that I've had the car 6 months too ).