He said he heard from people
I think I am gonna have to look around, my MOT and service isn't due for a month so I've got time
Promiscuous is a very judgemental word. He is being shaming and judgemental and you are falling in with it, shaming yourself by using that language.
So you slept with more than the average number of people? So what? If you didn’t hurt anyone and they were consenting adults, what business is it of anyone’s to make any comment?
I would not only
not date the mechanic, I’d also find a new one and block him and his foolish, misogynistic, judgmental
a. This type of man is bad news. He is making a snide moralistic comment about your sexual history and this is him trying to woo you? This is the best version of himself? Because that’s what we usually present at this point in time.
Trust me, he will use it against you.
Don’t agree to do something in bed he wants to do?
He will bring it up
He feels angry and upset about something you have done?
He will bring it up
He feels you have belittled or laughed at him?
He will bring it up.
Men like this are really bad news. He is starting a possible relationship by undermining you and making you feel ashamed and upset and passing it off a ‘joke’.
bull. He’s just a weak minded, intimidated, POS who wants to ensure you stay in your place.
I do understand looking back on previous behaviour and feeling less than proud. But if you did not hurt anyone, perhaps you could extend some compassion to yourself and see your behaviour without the filter of entrenched societal morals? I have a high number of partners. All but two of them happened over 30 years ago and I had all the sex for really bad traumatic reasons. I used to feel ashamed and wish I had not slept with them, but now when I look back I no longer wish to erase the sexual experiences. Instead I wish each one had not been a desperate, futile attempt to regain control of my body autonomy, but a fun passionate encounter that was exciting, fulfilling and saucy. I wish the sex had been joyful and relaxed and had not filled me with anxiety and shame.
This silly, pathetic little man is intimidated by you and your past. Go and find someone who thinks you are wonderful. Or at least thinks well of you and is excited and happy to spend time with you. Not someone who starts off disapproving and passive aggressive.
If anyone makes stupid comments like that in future, stay calm and ask them exactly what they mean.
“Could you explain what you mean by that?/
Can you tell me what it is you are referring to when you say that?”
Why are you making comments about what I did 20 years ago? How is that relevant to your experience with me today? What is it you are trying to achieve by making a comment? Your comment was unkind and judgemental why did you make it? Etc etc. etc. Decobstruct their comments and argument.
Stay calm but poke, poke, poke until those Motherfuckers have to admit they are just small minded judgemental dickheads.