The advice thread for random problems #5

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Jadejones9596

Hello all,

I am just looking for your opinions on this…

I am 34 and still in my childhood home with my mum. She’s a tad controlling sometimes but overall we get on so well, we watch all the same things and love each others company.

What are your opinions on people being at home in their 30s? I’ve been exploring moving out but in all honesty I don’t want to leave. My cat is here too and I couldn’t bear leaving her. Should I just suck it up and go though?
 
Reactions: 1

Hastaggifted

If you're happy and it works for you, why should you leave? What is it that's making you feel you should move out?
 
Reactions: 6
J

Jadejones9596

Hastaggifted said:
If you're happy and it works for you, why should you leave? What is it that's making you feel you should move out?
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Society I guess! People thinking that it’s unacceptable to live with your parents in your 30s… I feel so judged! But honestly me and mum like me being here and we miss each other so much. We’re pretty much besties
 
Reactions: 5

Hastaggifted

Jadejones9596 said:
Society I guess! People thinking that it’s unacceptable to live with your parents in your 30s… I feel so judged! But honestly me and mum like me being here and we miss each other so much. We’re pretty much besties
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Fuck society. Paying full rent/mortgage and bills sucks stay as long as you can. Enjoy paying half (if thats what you're doing) and enjoy living with a mum you're best friends with. My mum is annoying AF
 
Reactions: 12
J

Jadejones9596

Hastaggifted said:
Fuck society. Paying full rent/mortgage and bills sucks stay as long as you can. Enjoy paying half (if thats what you're doing) and enjoy living with a mum you're best friends with. My mum is annoying AF
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Oh yes I give her basically what she pays for her mortgage on a monthly basis and I help out around the house. Thank you, that’s comforting to hear that actually. She can be annoying and a bit much but she’s the best x
 
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Snippysnips

Am still stuck at home with my folks, personally I hate it but there's no way in hell am affording anywhere being on my own an even if I could afford rent the only ones I could don't allow pets which am not giving mine up (an are in shitty areas) I do have my own living room as the house is split with my folks living at the back an me at the front an I've got my own bathroom as well so it's not quite as bad as it could be but not having the freedom to decorate an make it feel more like "mine" is what I hate

But I do hate that society had made us feel like if you aren't out an have a family by mid 20s then there's something wrong, I know so many that felt pressured into leaving home young an now are stuck unable to move back home an can't afford the place they are in now with no way to get out, so I'd say as long as you are happy then stay where you are, housing prices an even rent now are a joke
 
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Grizzlybear

If that’s what makes you happiest then that is your home! Sounds absolutely idyllic tbh
 
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GalaxyGirl70

I went on holiday with my Mum and extended family for a week and realised very sadly that I could never live with her again. But I adored my Dad and would have been able to live with him very easily. If you and your Mum get on, what's to stress about.
 
Reactions: 4

OnlyHereForTheLolz

Jadejones9596 said:
Oh yes I give her basically what she pays for her mortgage on a monthly basis and I help out around the house. Thank you, that’s comforting to hear that actually. She can be annoying and a bit much but she’s the best x
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Nah, it’s just judged here. In loads of other countries inter-generational living is very normal. In fact it’s actually really good for families to have grandparents living with them
 
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Jerry Garcia

I've got my very own place and am mortgage free, but I would sign it over to you pr anyone in a trice for just an hour with my beloved and much missed mother X
 
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ChubClubThug

Are you staying from guilt of leaving your mum to fend for herself and fear or the unknown? Or are you genuinely happy?

A lot of the time as you say, society makes us feel we should be doing the things with our lives that is deemed as "normal" or you've failed at life. I think as long as you're mostly happy ( no one is happy all of the time) you're doing just fine! And you're winning at life. It's no one else's business how you live and what works for you. I think it's quite normal these days to be at home longer thanks to the high costs, it is impossible for many to make a home alone.

Just have some savings behind you for the future if possible, as things can change in the blink of an eye as I've learnt the hard way in life. Or one day you may change your mind or have different circumstances, so at least you'll have options
 
Reactions: 6

Lalla

Jerry Garcia said:
I've got my very own place and am mortgage free, but I would sign it over to you or anyone in a trice for just an hour with my beloved and much missed mother X
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Same here I honestly think if my mum was still alive I'd never have left home
 
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Rxt156

If you are both happy then why not. No point making it more expensive for you . Is your mum also happy for you to be there? If so, stay put!
 
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littlepup

I've lived with my Dad or Mum most of my adult life. I've lived with partners then moved 'home' and lived alone for 4 years but sold to pool resources with Mum. We have an incredible home with our own spaces and now it's her, me, OH, LO and another baby any day. OH amd I are building a house so will eventually move but she'll probably come with us.
As she's getting older it becomes harder, she does my head in on a daily basis just with her quirks, but it also means I'm here for her. And she's here for me and more importantly my child, they're besties.
If it works for you, there's nothing wrong with it at all, I see the benefits far outweighing the negatives as long as your not treated like a child nor behave like one.
 
Reactions: 4
T

Thank(space)you

Does anyone have recommendations for the strongest OTC antihistamines for hay-fever? I'm suffering so bad and it's affecting work as I'm having to keep muting myself or putting people on hold so I can cough and sneeze. My GP doesn't prescribe antihistamines
Tried 10mg Loratadine and 10mg of Cetirizine Dihydrochloride
 
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Stressed

I was told that the nasal sprays are the best thing to use. You can use them alongside the tablets above
 
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stargirl23

Fexofenadine is the best one for me! Think it’s brand allevia
 
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griftalo

Get a good air purifier. If you can reduce the allergens you’ll better off.
 
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chickhicks86

I'm sure the artist will go through it all with me, but please can someone talk me through the perfect tattoo aftercare routine please? Getting my first one on Monday and it'll be easier if I can buy anything I need over the weekend. Thank you!
 

tomato_paste

chickhicks86 said:
I'm sure the artist will go through it all with me, but please can someone talk me through the perfect tattoo aftercare routine please? Getting my first one on Monday and it'll be easier if I can buy anything I need over the weekend. Thank you!
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I bought something called "Second Skin" (there's other knockoff brands which are great as well), which is a wound plaster specifically made for tattoos. I bought mine off Amazon. Ask your tattoo artist about if you're unsure about it but I personally would never go back to regular tattoo aftercare with the painful scabs and the blood plasma everywhere and the Sudocrem etc.

For one of my tattoos the artist applied it directly after and I left it for about a week; the other wasn't happy about Second Skin (he's old school) so I applied it myself at home by cleaning off the Vaseline thoroughly with soap while not scrubbing (!) the skin and then putting on the wound plaster.

It's gonna look a bit gross because the wound fluid will collect under the bandage, but it's actually really good for the wound to have that plasma there as it promotes healing. And it means your tattoo will not form scabs that might peel off and take the colour with it. All my tattoos I did with second skin are super crisp and healed beautifully.

The tattoo might be a bit warm to the touch, but shouldn't be hot - a bit of warmth is normal from the healing, but hot indicates infection and might need antibiotics like any regular wound.

Edit: forgot the best part - you can shower immediately, and without the faff about drying off and accidentally ripping off the scab as well!
 
Reactions: 2
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