The advice thread for random problems #4

A local online small business mistakenly had a package delivered to my house, it seems to be packing envelopes or labels or some sort of stationery. It’s a medium sized box so it would fit quite a lot, I reached out 8 days ago and again yesterday to their customer service email offering to forward it to them or they could come collect it, no response? I don’t have Facebook or Instagram.

It’s in the way (in my hallway) but I’d rather not see the money go to waste for a local business. I can’t decide if they’re ignoring my emails or somehow just missed it? I know small businesses have loads to do but surely someone’s looked at the emails in the past week? would you email a 3rd time or just chuck it

trudyjudy007 said:

A local online small business mistakenly had a package delivered to my house, it seems to be packing envelopes or labels or some sort of stationery. It’s a medium sized box so it would fit quite a lot, I reached out 8 days ago and again yesterday to their customer service email offering to forward it to them or they could come collect it, no response? I don’t have Facebook or Instagram.

It’s in the way (in my hallway) but I’d rather not see the money go to waste for a local business. I can’t decide if they’re ignoring my emails or somehow just missed it? I know small businesses have loads to do but surely someone’s looked at the emails in the past week? would you email a 3rd time or just chuck it

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I would ask the delivery company to collect it. Doesn't sound like this local business will last much longer if they can't even sort out a small issue like this

Snippysnips said:

Is it definitely a use by date or is it a best before date? Just asked my folks as both are in the food industry an if it's a use by date then they don't recommend going over it's date, if it's a best before then so long as it's kept dry an airtight then it's up to you with how you feel an if you feel it's still good

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I seem to remember it saying on the packet best before October 2023.

Rockin' Robin said:

I seem to remember it saying on the packet best before October 2023.

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Should be good then, I'd judge it how you feel

Rockin' Robin said:

How long after the use by date, is plain flour still able to be used? I have more than half an un used packet left.
I do wish retailers would stock the small packets of flour, the large bags tend no to be used.

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I went through all my (in date) packets in the cupboard recently and they all had little weevils! Apparently these are really common in flour. So now I'm only buying small new packs and using within a week. And putting them in the freezer (kills the weevils) in future!

Has anyone used a yt tutorial for installing mods? I've tried to follow two an am getting no where, one of them it shows everything's correct till I load the game only to find the mods aren't there an the other I've no idea what the fk he's doing

I've been trying all night to install the expanded farm on stardew

I put this on the skin and make up thread but thought I’d try here too.
Does anyone do an at home toner for blonde hair? I can’t get my colour done for another 7 weeks and it’s looking really dull (dark blonde with highlights) but I don’t want to wreck it by doing something I shouldn’t before then?
Can I use a toner to brighten it up without permanent changes?
Something like this https://amzn.eu/d/f16RYQp?

Snippysnips said:

Has anyone used a yt tutorial for installing mods? I've tried to follow two an am getting no where, one of them it shows everything's correct till I load the game only to find the mods aren't there an the other I've no idea what the fk he's doing

I've been trying all night to install the expanded farm on stardew

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Reddit normally has great walkthroughs for this sort of thing.

chickhicks86 said:

Reddit normally has great walkthroughs for this sort of thing.

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Thanks I'll take a look

I'm estranged from my family, but I recently found out that I'm a beneficiary in a will as my gran has left me some money. I was not estranged from my gran but I am from the person who is in charge of sorting out probate.

I'm not really sure who to contact about this or whether to just leave it and let them have it. It is a significant amount of money.

Rodneytrotter said:

I'm estranged from my family, but I recently found out that I'm a beneficiary in a will as my gran has left me some money. I was not estranged from my gran but I am from the person who is in charge of sorting out probate.

I'm not really sure who to contact about this or whether to just leave it and let them have it. It is a significant amount of money.

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They can’f just “take” the money. Have you seen the will? Presumably somebody has let you know you’ll be receiving money.
Just wait patiently as it takes some time to sort out. Mr Lolz is currently awaiting payment from probate and it’s taken almost two years to get here.

OnlyHereForTheLolz said:

They can’f just “take” the money. Have you seen the will? Presumably somebody has let you know you’ll be receiving money.
Just wait patiently as it takes some time to sort out. Mr Lolz is currently awaiting payment from probate and it’s taken almost two years to get here.

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Thank you, yes I bought a copy of the will which is how I know. I didn't realise they couldn't take it, you can tell my knowledge on these things are limited. Wow two years, I guess there's a lot to sort out. It's only been six months for me. My main worry is whether I need to communicate with anyone or whether I wait to be contacted .

didisaythatoutloudoops said:

Hi again all, update here. Sorry if I forget to answer any questions

@Phil Anne Throw Pee - she's moving from non-profit into a company, so the salary increase is partly due to that and partly due to it being a promotion. In terms of the references, she had to complete quite a technical test as part of the interview process and they were pleased with it. She had been honest with HR about offering the extended notice period but that her boss might react quite negatively to her resignation, so they knew from the beginning she was leaving due to management. When she offered a reference they said they understand her current situation re: boss, so they won't ask for that and also know that you never give bad contacts for former references, so it isn't needed. They have a very firm induction plan and all seems green there I believe. Or at least I'm hoping so!

@dinosaursideways she retracted her offer to work an extended notice period after consulting her colleagues, telling them the situation, and them telling her to put herself first and tell boss to bugger off. Her new job are taking her three weeks earlier now.

Unfortunately the situation has soured in the meantime. Despite her boss still being on annual leave, he then emailed most of what he said to her over the phone - and CC'd in the entire board and all management. He has threatened to dismiss her for gross misconduct if she continues to 'complain'.

She then found out that her boss wrote an email to everyone in the organisation apart from her, saying that he's glad such a toxic person is leaving, that he knows everyone in the office hates her and feels she's a burden and if anyone feels their mental health has been ruined by her, they can come to him. Colleagues have scheduled a meeting with HR to complain about this and are devastated on her behalf, and have made it clear to her they don't feel that way at all.

She's just so young - I feel when you're old like me you know yourself and your work and can see these idiots for what they are, but this is really impacting not only her self-perception but now her anxiety levels. As a mum I just want to shield her from it.

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Thanks for that. They should still have tried to source other references though, I have never known an employer not to run reference checks on staff - it's very important.

Rodneytrotter said:

Thank you, yes I bought a copy of the will which is how I know. I didn't realise they couldn't take it, you can tell my knowledge on these things are limited. Wow two years, I guess there's a lot to sort out. It's only been six months for me. My main worry is whether I need to communicate with anyone or whether I wait to be contacted .

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You’ll probably receive a cheque on the post but take into account any debts, claims against the estate, costs if she was in a nursing home etc. It’s up to you if you want to involve yourself, you could find out who the executor is so that you can keep abreast of it all.
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Phil Anne Throw Pee said:

Thanks for that. They should still have tried to source other references though, I have never known an employer not to run reference checks on staff - it's very important.

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You can’t give a bad reference anymore so I don’t think people take them as seriously do they?

littlepup said:

You’ll probably receive a cheque on the post but take into account any debts, claims against the estate, costs if she was in a nursing home etc. It’s up to you if you want to involve yourself, you could find out who the executor is so that you can keep abreast of it all.
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You can’t give a bad reference anymore so I don’t think people take them as seriously do they?

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That's a myth. You CAN give a bad reference as long as you can substantiate it with evidence, i.e. verifying sick days, any disciplinary issues that might have been going on etc. You can't simply say someone is a waste of space, you have to back it up. References are crucially important in any recruitment process.

Phil Anne Throw Pee said:

Thanks for that. They should still have tried to source other references though, I have never known an employer not to run reference checks on staff - it's very important.

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My employer is a global company and didn't ask for my references before hiring me. Been there nearly 2 years and it's been a fairly standard experience with no massive red flags, so maybe it's not ubiquitous anymore

When I've been employed in academia they did always check references so maybe sectors vary?

Babysnark said:

My employer is a global company and didn't ask for my references before hiring me. Been there nearly 2 years and it's been a fairly standard experience with no massive red flags, so maybe it's not ubiquitous anymore

When I've been employed in academia they did always check references so maybe sectors vary?

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I've worked in many sectors where references have always been part of the process. Did you put referees on your CV/Application form when you applied?

Phil Anne Throw Pee said:

I've worked in many sectors where references have always been part of the process. Did you put referees on your CV/Application form when you applied?

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Nope, though I got my position through a recruitment agency but didn't provide references at any stage of the process

Rodneytrotter said:

Thank you, yes I bought a copy of the will which is how I know. I didn't realise they couldn't take it, you can tell my knowledge on these things are limited. Wow two years, I guess there's a lot to sort out. It's only been six months for me. My main worry is whether I need to communicate with anyone or whether I wait to be contacted .

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If you were able to order a copy of the will from the Probate Registry this means that probate has been granted. This means that the executor can disperse the estate according to the will although it is recommended that they wait 10 months before doing so. If it were me, I'd try to make sure that the executor has my contact details and if possible (subtly) let them know that you know that you are a beneficiary.

Any legal eagles or people in the know with employment based issues?

I have been working in a GP surgery since May 22
In September 2023 I accepted a place on a foundation degree course run by the local uni and college as an apprentice, my employer also signed and agreed too. They are a non levy paying employer so the course is funded by the government and I am registered as an apprentice with the government.

I have so far been on the course 7 months and coming in to the final few months of the first year ( its a 2 year course)
This week my line manager ( very poor management skills and stepping down as manager in April) approached me (chucked it at me) with a form titled " training agreement" and told me I had to sign it. I asked what it was, she told me if i leave the company within 2 years of completing my course (2027) I will need to pay them back the course fees.

I said, it isn't reasonable to expect me to sign this in retrospect as its now 7 months into the cource and had I been made aware of this 7 months ago I could have made an informed decision on weather I wanted to proceed on the cource under those terms and conditions.
She was very rude to me, as was her replacement - " so your using us to pay for your course and planning to leave", and " if you dobt sign they'll remove you from the course"

As mentioned this is a government funded apprenticeship course.

The form does not specify an actual sum, it just says xourse fees (£amount), then gives a sliding scale of
Leave with 6 months pay back 100%.
Leave 6-12 months pay back 75%
12-18 pay back 50%
18-24 pay back 25%

So they're expecting me to sign this 7 months after commencing the course. And without any indication of the sum of money I would be paying back in the event of me leaving the company.

I told her that I would need to seek the advise of my union representative (RCN) and potentially legal advise on the matter, and that id at least need more information on a figure and a breakdown of that figure.

I have checked my contract of employment, which makes no mention or clauses to training or training costs.

I have contacted my union and I have a phone meeting with the local rep to go over this, they told me it is my legal right to seek advise and representation of my union.

Ive since found on google so not confident it is correct but it says its actually illegal for company's to try to reclaim cource fees from a government funded apprentice.

Any advise greatly appreciated, as im worrying myself over this now.
I dont particularly want to stay with this company for two whole years after I complete my course as they are not particularly nice. I can with a fair amount of certainty say that once I finish my course they wont have any positions for the role I'll be just qualified in, and so ill have to continue working for them in the role I am in now with a foundation degree for minimum wage, or leave and potentially owe them an undisclosed sum of money.