The advice thread for random problems #4

Thank(space)you said:

You're right. I'm just overthinking and panicking.

I'm not sure what the police will do

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He might be known to them already, you might not be the first, but ultimately if no one reports anything, even though we know they won’t do anything when you do, how can the police ever start to build a case against repeat offenders?

Thank(space)you said:

You're right. I'm just overthinking and panicking.

I'm not sure what the police will do

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they will (hopefully) protect you in a way that your frankly useless to the point of negligence HR department are not.

i’m so angry on your behalf. you NEED to call the police. and i would honestly also be taking legal advice against your employers; it’s literally a tickbox of breaches in how they’ve dealt with this.

Meg78 said:

He might be known to them already, you might not be the first, but ultimately if no one reports anything, even though we know they won’t do anything when you do, how can the police ever start to build a case against repeat offenders?

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Do report it to the police. Although this happened in a work setting consider the two ‘cases’ entirely separate for the purposes of your safety, in so far as regardless of the fact this happened at work it is still something that should be reported to the police. Whatever the outcome of the HR process is, it’s important you make it known to those outside of HR what he has done/said, and some advice and practical supports from the police can only be a good thing for you.

HR is ultimately there to protect the company, though even the most useless HR person (of which there are unfortunately many) would see this as a grounds for dismissal. I’d like to believe they are just going through the motions to make sure that the procedure is airtight so he can’t come back and take a case on a procedural technicality. Your safety and well-being at work is your priority, and go as far as you need to so that you can preserve it.

Is there a thread for insta fashion influencers? So many are coming up as suggested for me as I’ve been shopping for a new handbag but oh my god are they cringey, I’ve tried searching specific usernames with no joy so really hoping there’s a general thread somewhere!

Does anyone have a ring doorbell plus a echo? I can tell Alexa to go onto the doorbell itself an view outside but I want to be able to leave the echo on home then when someone rings the door I want the echo to automatically bring it up, can't seem to figure out how to do that, it's for my folks since the living room is at the back of the house an they can't hear the door

Thank(space)you said:

You're right. I'm just overthinking and panicking.

I'm not sure what the police will do

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Very belated but I (unfortunately) have some experience of this

You don't need to decide if it's an overreaction or to know what the police can do. That's their job, not yours. That's why you report it - so they can give you advice, decide if there is anything to investigate further or any action to be taken. And so something is recorded somewhere, so a paper trail is started. If you want support you could speak to an ISVA but in my experience they're not hugely helpful. But they do exist.

Same for employment lawyers - you don't need to know all the ways your employers have fucked up, that's ACAS/your union/any other employment lawyers job. Find someone reputable, explain what is going on, and let them support you & tell you what they're going to do/how they can help.

There is a lot that can be done by the police before reaching the "taking this to CPS to decide if its in the public interest to pursue as a criminal matter with a sufficient burden of evidence" threshold. Someone being charged/convicted isn’t the only possible route.

If something doesn't merit a restraining order, the police can serve a harassment notice. If they think its of enough concern it can be recorded in a way they can share it in future under Clare's Law. If he currently or in the future wants to work anywhere he needs an enhanced DBS, it may impact that. There may be other similar reports, and your report could lend weight to them or another police service deciding to take action/investigate further. It may make other victims more credible. It may show him he doesn't have power over you.

It makes me really sad to see how you are being victimised, not only by him but by your employer and colleagues. I hope you're signed off work sick at the moment, and I hope you have some tangible support. None of it is your fault, and you've been let down and victimised by many people - but you do have some power, in that you can reach out for help from people who may be able to hold him and/or your employers to account.

Sorry to change the topic but can anyone recommend some decent sport/soft bras that's are comfy and supportive?

Tommyb said:

Sorry to change the topic but can anyone recommend some decent sport/soft bras that's are comfy and supportive?

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Fabletics for me. Tried gym shark bit for me personally didn’t feel they supported well enough

Tommyb said:

Sorry to change the topic but can anyone recommend some decent sport/soft bras that's are comfy and supportive?

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I’m a Puma girl. Love them

Tommyb said:

Sorry to change the topic but can anyone recommend some decent sport/soft bras that's are comfy and supportive?

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Nike for me

Tommyb said:

Sorry to change the topic but can anyone recommend some decent sport/soft bras that's are comfy and supportive?

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My one is from M&S.

I had to try a few different sizes in store to get the right one.

I did something morally grey today…. Found a yellow sticker item with two yellow stickers, and took off the higher priced yellow sticker so it scanned as lower. Doesn’t sound too bad, until you find out the prices it was a 12 portion slab pie from the entertaining range, a cancelled order, originally £18, yellow stickered down to £6.50 on the top, and another yellow sticker on the side saying “was £2.20, now 75p”! I knew fully well it must be a mistake and someone has put the wrong sticker on, but I still did it, and I feel a bit like I stole it

Meg78 said:

I did something morally grey today…. Found a yellow sticker item with two yellow stickers, and took off the higher priced yellow sticker so it scanned as lower. Doesn’t sound too bad, until you find out the prices it was a 12 portion slab pie from the entertaining range, a cancelled order, originally £18, yellow stickered down to £6.50 on the top, and another yellow sticker on the side saying “was £2.20, now 75p”! I knew fully well it must be a mistake and someone has put the wrong sticker on, but I still did it, and I feel a bit like I stole it

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That was my shop you were in and an old lady came in after you to ask if we still had it as she'd been reunited with her family and wanted to treat them.


Jokes, enjoy your pie

avabella said:

That was my shop you were in and an old lady came in after you to ask if we still had it as she'd been reunited with her family and wanted to treat them.


Jokes, enjoy your pie

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Reading that my heartrate actually shot up

I feel so guilty like I’ve got bad karma now and need to rectify it, is that weird?

Meg78 said:

Reading that my heartrate actually shot up

I feel so guilty like I’ve got bad karma now and need to rectify it, is that weird?

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Don’t worry about it, I’m sure you’re not the only person who’s done that or took a yellow sticker off one item and placed it on another. Technically you’re not at fault, although you knew it was an error the sticker was placed incorrectly by a member of staff not you. I wouldn’t worry & enjoy it x

Meg78 said:

Reading that my heartrate actually shot up

I feel so guilty like I’ve got bad karma now and need to rectify it, is that weird?

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It would have gotten chucked anyway if you didn’t buy it so have it and enjoy it

Meg78 said:

I did something morally grey today…. Found a yellow sticker item with two yellow stickers, and took off the higher priced yellow sticker so it scanned as lower. Doesn’t sound too bad, until you find out the prices it was a 12 portion slab pie from the entertaining range, a cancelled order, originally £18, yellow stickered down to £6.50 on the top, and another yellow sticker on the side saying “was £2.20, now 75p”! I knew fully well it must be a mistake and someone has put the wrong sticker on, but I still did it, and I feel a bit like I stole it

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Nah, enjoy it. They peiced it incorrectly and until you paid for it, they could’ve said sorry that’s an error

Thank(space)you said:

I've not wanted to involve the police because I've been worried I'm overreacting but now I'm actually scared so maybe it is time.

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girl, call the police. Call. The. Police.

Meg78 said:

I did something morally grey today…. Found a yellow sticker item with two yellow stickers, and took off the higher priced yellow sticker so it scanned as lower. Doesn’t sound too bad, until you find out the prices it was a 12 portion slab pie from the entertaining range, a cancelled order, originally £18, yellow stickered down to £6.50 on the top, and another yellow sticker on the side saying “was £2.20, now 75p”! I knew fully well it must be a mistake and someone has put the wrong sticker on, but I still did it, and I feel a bit like I stole it

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You've done nothing wrong.

If the item had two stickers, the lower one would have been scanned through anyway even if it was a mistake.

I am looking to have my apartment oven and extractor fan professionally cleaned.

Do you reckon I need to ask my landlord for permission first?