Student Nurse

[jayne2240]

Hi,

I’m not even sure if this will reach the right audience, or why I’m resorting to a gossip forum for emotional advice but here we are 🫣

I’m in my third year now, about eight months away from graduating as a qualified nurse, and I hate every moment of it.

I’m not sure what changed between the end of my second year and now, but I cry every night before shifts, I spend the entire shift on another planet cause I’m so anxious and panicked the entire time. I feel completely lost in the job and I’m truly starting to think I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life.

The closer I get to qualifying the more I think I want to run away and never go back onto a ward again. I feel sick at the thought of my shift tomorrow.

I’m undergoing therapy at the moment for all of this with the university but I am terrified that these feelings of complete and utter dread aren’t going to go away until I stop doing nursing. I never dreamt I’d ever feel this way - I adored the first two years and it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do.

If I could afford to drop out and do another degree now I would but that would mean a wasted student loan & I’d never be able to fund another degree for myself.

I feel completely and utterly lost.

If there are any nurses who can help and advice that would be so helpful because I truly don’t know what to do.

PS I just want to add onto the end of this that I will still go into each and every shift and do everything I can for all of the patients - that has never and will never change.

 

[Deeznutslol]

You sound like a very dedicated and caring person, I’m sorry to hear that you’re in this position, is there any way you could take a year out from the degree? It sounds to me like your head is all over the place and you’re definitely struggling a lot with your mh right now

 

[jayne2240]

You sound like a very dedicated and caring person, I’m sorry to hear that you’re in this position, is there any way you could take a year out from the degree? It sounds to me like your head is all over the place and you’re definitely struggling a lot with your mh right now

I’d love to take a year out but my family support is not the best, it would essentially be a year of “this is ridiculous you need to be doing something” rather than a year of looking after myself and doing what’s right. I am in a situation where I need to just get on with it and I think that’s making it worse.

 

[Deeznutslol]

I’d love to take a year out but my family support is not the best, it would essentially be a year of “this is ridiculous you need to be doing something” rather than a year of looking after myself and doing what’s right. I am in a situation where I need to just get on with it and I think that’s making it worse.

Are your family aware of your problems? I know it’s not easy to talk to family sometimes (especially if they don’t really get anxiety or mh issues) but maybe if they were aware of how you felt, they’d be a bit more understanding?

 

[Mickey19]

Hey! I’m a student nurse halfway through second year. I dread placements now, the NHS is in such a state I spend 90% of my shifts as a HCA and being a spare pair of hands, making me feel incompetent when it comes to actual nurse things. Do you have an end goal? Personally I want to work on neonatal, after doing some shifts there the environment is a LOT different to all other wards and they love to take newly qualified adult nurses to ‘mold’. The hardest bit is getting through placements on wards you really don’t enjoy but I try to organize a lot of spoke days so I’m moving around more. There are a lot of options for when you are qualified you don’t even have to work clinically or work straight away. I do think the majority of student nurses feel this way with how things are going and it sucks

 

[jayne2240]

Thanks for your responses

Spoke to my parents today and got a very mixed reaction, I got a lot of accusations about how I prioritise my partner too much, don’t work hard enough, don’t seem very passionate. All of which I’d argue isn’t true if I had the energy to do so, but when you’re mid mental breakdown it’s hard to.

They eventually did soften a tad and sympathise but it was a lot of life is tough and I either have to toughen up and go or drop out and do something else. It was a rough conversation and to be honest a big eye opener about the support I’ve got around me.

Thanks for your advice though it means a lot x

 

[Wandavison]

if this is how you're feeling now then maybe you do need to think about doing something else. I was a midwife for 8 years and I think I knew before I qualified that i had made a wrong choice. I spent 8 years struggling and not enjoying it, dreading work before I finally left. I still work for the NHS but in education. Its so hard leaving something you trained for and feeling like you have let people down but this is your life and you have to put yourself first. Nursing is hard, the NHS is hard and if you feel like this now , I'd hate for you to just keep feeling worse & worse. The responsibility is alot . I hope you get the support you need & make the choice right for you x

 

[ShadesMint]

Do you know exactly what it is that is making you anxious about the shifts? Is it the workload, the people you work with, the responsibility, the actual ward speciality, the shift work, etc? Or is it something else in your personal life that's simmering over into your professional life.

 

[Rxt156]

Do you know exactly what it is that is making you anxious about the shifts? Is it the workload, the people you work with, the responsibility, the actual ward speciality, the shift work, etc? Or is it something else in your personal life that's simmering over into your professional life.

Just came here to ask this too. What is it that you dislike?

sorry you are feeling this way.

 

[Jaceydooley]

Sorry to hear you are feeling like this. I’m a nurse (been qualified for 8 years) and I can honestly say the way the hospitals are at the moment is the worst it’s been. I resigned last month due to this, and I love my job. I’ll still be working in the hospital, but just not as a permanent member of staff. I think you’ve had a rough ride with the timings of your training (covid etc) and the fallout from everything that’s happened. BUT we need people like you. People who are compassionate, dedicated and want to work. We need the new faces, the freshness and positivity you will bring.

 

[Some People!]

I work in HE and have worked in student and academic support settings.
Are you on track to get a good degree?
Assuming you're doing well academically, my best advice would be that you grit your teeth and stick it out, with my full understanding of how tough you're finding it.
You're not obliged to work as a nurse upon qualification. You're not obliged to work on wards if you do want to work as a nurse. You can use your skills and your degree in non-clinical settings if you still want to work in the sector.
But if you don't see the degree through, those options won't even be open to you. A degree is a degree - you can walk into another field/job halfway up the ladder & payscale once you figure out what you want to do instead, just by virtue of having a degree. And you've nearly got this one.
Leaving now with a CertHE isn't terribly helpful for anything other than starting again on another pathway, but that sounds financially tricky for you too.
You could begin your next step with a PG degree in something that feels more like you - most Uni's offer massive discounts to get you to continue your studies with them. Maybe you're exhausted and maybe that's something for the future. But it would be an option.

I really hope this doesn't come off as a bit tough love or anything - your feelings are so valid and as posters above have said, even passionate and longer standing NHS workers and other student nurses of all types agree. Our nursing students are having a really tricky time across the board too.
I think you might as well get the qualification, recognition, and lbr, the potential salary and opportunities out of it now you've put so much blood, sweat, tears, and debt into it.

You should do what feels right to you, what you can handle, and what keeps your options open as best you can.
I presume you've spoken to your Personal Tutor, your department, and whatever student support service is available to have accesssd the support you're already receiving (commendable!)...?
I'll add that most Student Unions have an advice service of some sort who can often help you access further support and help you understand what options you have and look at other scenarios - they have no stake in keeping you enrolled, so you may find their advice a bit more 'real' than the University side. Finally, if you can and if it's available to you, it's definitely worth speaking to whatever kind of careers service your uni has - they will be very used to coaching students through their options and the implications of the various pathways you could consider, what you can do with your qualifications and skills now and in the future, and they'll have an idea of what students just like you have gone on to do.

Very, very best of luck

 

[jayne2240]

Once again - I’d like to say a massive thank you for all the advice and support, the internet isn’t always a horrible nasty place

To answer the question no I’m not sure what it is I’m anxious about, but I’ve had a lot of negative experiences from staff members on wards where they have been rude and belittling and I think that’s always in the back of my mind.

I managed to drag myself in for an early shift today on the ward and whilst I was very anxious the entire time, I made it to the end and surprised myself with how I felt at the end. It’s a long hard slog but nursing is my passion and I just need to get to September and then I’ll be able to work somewhere Ireally enjoy.

 

[Gem_woody]

You can do it!
Not the same thing, but I started a Masters that I hated and my only friend on the course dropped out pretty early on. It was very full on with lectures and practical rotations, i had a long commute to london everyday and the people on my course were pretentious and toxic af. Knowing there's an end date really helped me get through it and you'll be free to do what you want soon

 

[blurconfetti]

Sorry to hear you are feeling like this. I’m a nurse (been qualified for 8 years) and I can honestly say the way the hospitals are at the moment is the worst it’s been. I resigned last month due to this, and I love my job. I’ll still be working in the hospital, but just not as a permanent member of staff. I think you’ve had a rough ride with the timings of your training (covid etc) and the fallout from everything that’s happened. BUT we need people like you. People who are compassionate, dedicated and want to work. We need the new faces, the freshness and positivity you will bring.

This. We really do! I feel inspired talking to student nurses like you, who acknowledge how hard it is atm and still give 100%. All I ask is that you be kind to yourself, give yourself time to decompress after shifts.

I know it’s utterly awful at the moment - I’ve also been a nurse for 8 years and recently moved into education as a bit of a break from ED. There are plenty of opportunities and avenues to explore once you qualify. I’m sorry that your parents haven’t been more supportive, I don’t think anyone who works in healthcare truly understand what we’re all going through at the moment. Keep up with your counselling and chat to your fellow student nurses. Without sounding all annoying, try and find the good/a positive in each shift. I do this with my newly qualifieds and it does help. You’re making more of a difference than you’ll ever realise, please just remember that. One last push lovely!

 

[princessmaire80]

You can get a second undergrad degree funded if it’s a Science/social science subject if that’s any help?
I did my nursing training when it was a DipHe and funded by the NHS. I had to give up nursing when I got cancer and I did an English degree followed by a Masters.
While I was doing my Masters degree the government changed the rules and now fund a second Science degree as there’s such a shortage of Science graduates. I did a Sports Science degree which I loved but I left before I got my Honours as I was really unwell.

 

[vanessatheseawitch]

I know this is a student nurse thread but I've been a qualified nurse for 10 years in August and absolutely hate it now. I don't know what to do with my life especially since having my baby. I've worked across a variety of specialities and am so burnt out. Since returning from mat leave I dread work and have been off with anxiety and back problems for months and just returned to work redeployed into a different area. The guilt about leaving the profession is insane. My parents just tell me I've wasted my life, it was my fault I chose the degree and they told me not to do it and i've made my bed so lie in it etc.

 

[Deeznutslol]

The guilt about leaving the profession is insane. My parents just tell me I've wasted my life, it was my fault I chose the degree and they told me not to do it and i've made my bed so lie in it etc.

Nah don’t feel guilty. I finished school 8 years ago now but even back then, quite a lot of my teachers were ex nurses who had had enough of the job and wanted to take a different turn in life.
I think once you’ve had a kid things change as well, you have different priorities and less time to dedicate to working. You have not wasted your life if you decide not to be a nurse anymore, it’s just a change of direction.

 

[Hope77]

I know this is a student nurse thread but I've been a qualified nurse for 10 years in August and absolutely hate it now. I don't know what to do with my life especially since having my baby. I've worked across a variety of specialities and am so burnt out. Since returning from mat leave I dread work and have been off with anxiety and back problems for months and just returned to work redeployed into a different area. The guilt about leaving the profession is insane. My parents just tell me I've wasted my life, it was my fault I chose the degree and they told me not to do it and i've made my bed so lie in it etc.

You've not wasted your life! You've had a career but now life has changed and so have you - you gained a degree, experience and knowledge.
I do understand the guilt but life is too short to be this unhappy. Perhaps you can use your degree towards some other area of healthcare, lots fo options but don't let your parent's guilt trip stop you doing what is right for you.

 

[RJF]

For anyone struggling with nursing - I have a friend who left formal nursing and became a school nurse. The money wasn’t as good as she could have got as an agency nurse in the NHS but she says the work-life balance was so much better.

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