Stuck in a job rut

[Princess of Scots]

I'm 22 and feel like I'm in arrested development. I feel like I'm drifting in my work. I feel so behind my peers. I can't visualise being good at any job that makes a good wage. I've just spent years in tit minimum wage customer service jobs. I've achieved nothing in my life.

I feel like I'm a massive failure.

I'm legit still in the same situation I was at 17. I still don't know what career I would be good at. I can't visualise myself actually being good at anything. I have zero transferable skills.

I feel like I'm getting too old to still be in a quandary about my future. Everyone I went to school with is settled, graduated and in their own adult careers. I feel like I need to stick with something because I'm getting too old to be just starting out. I just feel like I'm putting my life at such a detriment. I won't be able to move out, I won't have enough money. I'm terrified I'm putting my future in jeopardy because of how I'm petrified I'll never be able to afford my own property. I'm scared I won't ever settle on a career path. I've jumped from different branches of customer service and hated all of them. I've done shop retail, cafes, call centres and currently work in an opticians.

I've done bits of admin in the call centre and I found it utterly soul destroying. I hate the monotony of it.

I've tried full time education twice but I

I know it's pathetic to say this but I feel like I never received much guidance as to what options were available to me when I was younger. I know it's ridiculous to say this it's difficult on my part for being indecisive but I also struggle with being very hard on myself so I can't ever visualise myself being good enough at anything to do it as a career.

I struggle to engage with full time education. I thrive with heavy structure. I did very well at school due to the structured aspect of it. I've tried full time education twice but I just can't cope with independent learning. I can't engage with it.

I also have dyspraxia so trades like hairdressing or beauty I can't do because I don't have the dexterity in my hands.

Military or police isn't an option due to my mental health history.

I've just worked minimum wage jobs. Even though I got decent grades, I don't feel intelligent. In fact the opposite. I feel like it was all a fluke.

I know it's a cop out but I feel like my school failed me. I didn't receive any guidance as to what was available to me. My school was very classist I feel. Only those who were from a decent area, received any guidance and support regarding their future. Those who didn't , like me, fell by the wayside and were left to figure it out on their own devices. Even if you did okay like me and didn't really know what to do, well that was your problem.

I can't help but feeling I've wasted my potential but I'm getting too old to try and find myself. I feel like I should know myself by now. I'm just really fed up.

I feel trapped in the customer service industry. I feel like I'm never going to be successful.

 

[Rxt156]

Not everyone has to be successful or have a huge career.

You’re certainly not too old to find yourself. You may be working into your 60s so there’s plenty time.

No one really likes work. We go every day so we can get money. You have to find something that you can tolerate. If you are desperate for a big career you need to find something that you like or something that you’re good at and go from there. These things don’t come to you just because you did well at school. The schools job is to give you the skills for your future, not to plan it all out for you. You got the grades you now need to apply that in life

I’ve just read this back - it sounds arsey. Not my intention but I feel a reality check is needed here. It’s not going to drop in your lap. You are only 22 go and find what interests you and work out what your skills are.

good luck.

 

[Princess of Scots]

Not everyone has to be successful or have a huge career.

You’re certainly not too old to find yourself. You may be working into your 60s so there’s plenty time.

No one really likes work. We go every day so we can get money. You have to find something that you can tolerate. If you are desperate for a big career you need to find something that you like or something that you’re good at and go from there. These things don’t come to you just because you did well at school. The schools job is to give you the skills for your future, not to plan it all out for you. You got the grades you now need to apply that in life

I’ve just read this back - it sounds arsey. Not my intention but I feel a reality check is needed here. It’s not going to drop in your lap. You are only 22 go and find what interests you and work out what your skills are.

good luck.

I know I sound like a complete tool. Just borne out of frustration because in a nutshell I am bitter and jealous of everyone around me succeeding at their first attempt.

Everything I've tried has failed miserably. I've tried academia. Crashed out twice.

I've tried applying for positions in different industries. I'm always rejected. I can't seem to get my foot in the door.

I don't have any skills that's my issue. Nothing is transferable. This is where I feel like I'm trapped in customer service. I don't have skills. I just have the things that are standard,like good time keeping and reliability. That's not skills, that's just common sense. It's not like I'm a job hopper either.

I get the impression I've maybe painted myself as being lazy.
I can't exactly say that's the case. I work my absolute arse off. I will go out of my way to try and pick things up as best as I can. I think I can be a very awkward person so sales doesn't come naturally to me. My current job hasn't really trained me so I've been having to pick a lot of it up myself.

 

[Clickbait]

I think that there is a massive gap in schools supporting high school students with real and practical careers guidance because to a certain extent choices you make at GCSE and A-Level shape future choices.

I have to say that you really need a reality check that 22 years old is an age too old to make a change in your circumstances. You are still very young generally and even more so in the workplace! This sounds like you being defeatist and putting up barriers to making any real changes because you’re scared of the unknown and possibly like the safety of jobs that you don’t enjoy but also don’t push you out of your comfort zone.

Comparison really is the thief of joy and social media is a massive enabler of comparisons. You may think that everyone has it all figured out but you have no idea how successful people are, how much they are enjoying the jobs they’re in etc. You need to stop focusing on others and how you feel you measure up against them and turn that negative energy into something that actually benefits you.

You said you did well at school so that’s a good starting point. Perhaps academia isn’t for you but have you considered something like a business apprenticeship? You’d receive structured training on the job and they’d pay for any relevant qualifications.

You could also try going to the job centre to discuss options available to you re: government funded training.

I would say that admin is an essential part of almost any job so it’s worth acknowledging you won’t be able to avoid that.

 

[Former_Antelopee]

What about a full time education course with more structure? My degree I was in classes 9-4 every day so it was pretty much like school. Don’t know how many would be like this but there is probably a few. My degree was split between working and uni so when I wasn’t at uni I’d have a strict work schedule. Or what about an apprenticeship? Guess it depends if you can decide what you want to do.
Could you volunteer somewhere to get experience/foot in the door in the jobs you are interested in but couldn’t get into?

 

[Princess of Scots]

I would say that admin is an essential part of almost any job so it’s worth acknowledging you won’t be able to avoid that.

I totally get that but I meant a completely admin based job.

 

[FakeSmile]

The world is still very much your oyster at 22. Your first thing to do is work out what YOU want to do and not what you think you should be doing.

 

[mochibean]

I know I sound like a complete tool. Just borne out of frustration because in a nutshell I am bitter and jealous of everyone around me succeeding at their first attempt.

Everything I've tried has failed miserably. I've tried academia. Crashed out twice.

I've tried applying for positions in different industries. I'm always rejected. I can't seem to get my foot in the door.

I don't have any skills that's my issue. Nothing is transferable. This is where I feel like I'm trapped in customer service. I don't have skills. I just have the things that are standard,like good time keeping and reliability. That's not skills, that's just common sense. It's not like I'm a job hopper either.

I get the impression I've maybe painted myself as being lazy.
I can't exactly say that's the case. I work my absolute arse off. I will go out of my way to try and pick things up as best as I can. I think I can be a very awkward person so sales doesn't come naturally to me. My current job hasn't really trained me so I've been having to pick a lot of it up myself.

First off you're only 22, that's super young! You still have your whole life to work things out and I am so sure that they will.

I was exactly the same as you at 22 and I think a huge thing you're missing is confidence in your own potential. I was awkward and anxious and I was working jobs that were awful for me and gave me no skills, training, etc. At 22 it's so normal to not know what you want to do, and know who you are. You're still very much finding your feet as a young adult and you're in no way getting too old to start anything. I went back to uni at 26, finishing my degree this year at age 29 and I'm still not 100% sure about my next steps and what I'll be doing even a year from now and that's okay.

I think the issue is in GCSE year you're forced to pick based on your future, same with college and uni and you're expected to know what career you want before even knowing anything about what that career entails or if it's even suited to you. Our brains don't even finish developing until 25-ish how are we supposed to pick something as a child and stick with it? I know people older than me in their 30's who have changed career because what they chose back then doesn't reflect who they are now.

Skills wise, skills come with experience and time. Some people are naturally more skilled in certain things than others but they also lack in other areas. We all have strengths and weaknesses it just takes us time to figure them out. I used to be incredibly shy and awkward and struggled in the workplace a lot, since then I'm still a bit awkward but I do better in customer facing rolls because I've worked on my communication over the past few years. I lack skills in organisation and leadership and know now I could never be a manager or anything higher up and that's okay.

It sounds like your job is an issue here, lack of training made me feel incompetent and caused me to fail in those jobs. Without training how are you supposed to learn and grow? All well and good picking it up yourself (a skill in itself) but they're supposed to train you.

I'd evaluate what you want to do, don't let societal pressure and expectations get to you. Also comparing yourself to others isn't helpful, focus on your own path.

I wanna ask do you have any hobbies or things you particularly feel drawn too? It helped me to turn my interests into education and hopefully a career one day. I work a pretty dead job at the moment whilst doing this and I will say there's nothing wrong with it, I actually really enjoy it but not something I particularly want to do forever. It wouldn't be the worst thing though.

 

[Princess of Scots]

This sounds like you being defeatist and putting up barriers to making any real changes because you’re scared of the unknown and possibly like the safety of jobs that you don’t enjoy but also don’t push you out of your comfort zone.

I think you've summed it up. I'm absolutely terrified of taking any risks. I've always been brought up to play it safe. I suppose in a way I was raised to be wary of being very ambitious. You played it safe to be secure. I went to college a second time and was advised against it because it was taking a risk. The first time I was almost talked out of applying for uni at school because it was 'a big risk'. Of course it backfired because I cannot seem to engage with very theoretical academic courses.

I want to try something different but I'm scared to take the plunge in case I duck up again and I'm back at square 1 once again. I sometimes think maybe I have ambitions loftier than I'm capable of so I should just stick to something safe. I always feel like I'm wasting my potential but I don't know whether that's just me being arrogant or whether I need to know my level and stick to basic entry level jobs.

 

[judgejohndeed]

I think you've summed it up. I'm absolutely terrified of taking any risks. I've always been brought up to play it safe. I suppose in a way I was raised to be wary of being very ambitious. You played it safe to be secure. I went to college a second time and was advised against it because it was taking a risk. The first time I was almost talked out of applying for uni at school because it was 'a big risk'. Of course it backfired because I cannot seem to engage with very theoretical academic courses.

I want to try something different but I'm scared to take the plunge in case I duck up again and I'm back at square 1 once again. I sometimes think maybe I have ambitions loftier than I'm capable of so I should just stick to something safe. I always feel like I'm wasting my potential but I don't know whether that's just me being arrogant or whether I need to know my level and stick to basic entry level jobs.

I hope you don't mind me asking but are you from a working class background by any chance? This is exactly what my family said to me, despite sending me to a (state) grammar school they didn't want me to go to uni due to the risk and the financial side of it etc, it's the typical working class attitude. I was the first in my family to go to uni and I now have 4 degrees so don't be afraid to aim higher. I also changed career in my mid/late 20s so at 22 you are far from being too old. In my current profession, it's not uncommon that people change career and qualify in their 30s and 40s.

It sounds like the crucial thing for you is working out what it is you'd like to do and then look at routes to getting there. If you're not sure what you'd like to do think about things like - what kind of environment do you want to be in? A hospital, school, office? Who do you want to work with - children, animals, other adults? What kind of work pattern do you want to do - 9-5 week days, shifts, weekends? What skills do you have and what are you not so good at? What do you enjoy and what do you not enjoy?

 

[Princess of Scots]

I hope you don't mind me asking but are you from a working class background by any chance? This is exactly what my family said to me, despite sending me to a (state) grammar school they didn't want me to go to uni due to the risk and the financial side of it etc, it's the typical working class attitude. I was the first in my family to go to uni and I now have 4 degrees so don't be afraid to aim higher. I also changed career in my mid/late 20s so at 22 you are far from being too old. In my current profession, it's not uncommon that people change career and qualify in their 30s and 40s.

It sounds like the crucial thing for you is working out what it is you'd like to do and then look at routes to getting there. If you're not sure what you'd like to do think about things like - what kind of environment do you want to be in? A hospital, school, office? Who do you want to work with - children, animals, other adults? What kind of work pattern do you want to do - 9-5 week days, shifts, weekends? What skills do you have and what are you not so good at? What do you enjoy and what do you not enjoy?

Yes, I am from a solidly working class background. My parents have no formal education. Only the wife of one of my cousins has any post secondary education.

I am interested in the property industry. I have saw a couple of apprentice surveyor roles nearby but I just don't think I would be up for it.

I do think I am able to adapt but I do require quite a structured environment and when I have it I do thrive. I think that's why I struggled with purely theoretical studies. I need to see it applied.

I'm quite good with keeping attention to detail. In a previous job I was assessing public funding so I do understand the need to have a good sense of attention to detail and having things accounted for especially when there's significant value and public funds involved.

Communication is probably a plus point too. I've worked in call centres so that's another thing. I do think I work well in a team as well as I can always muck in and do my bit to get tit done.

I'm not sure if I really am up to it or if I'm just a bit too dim and arrogant with higher expectations of myself than I really have. I never know if I always overestimate myself or not.

Animals is a definite no due to allergies and phobias. Healthcare I'm iffy about due to the shift patterns.

 

[PartTimeNoseyWitch]

If it makes you feel any better, I am 31 and re-training totally. I have no kids, I’m not married and I’ll tell you something, the majority of people I know who seemed to have it all together at 22 certainly don’t now! I’ve been in crappy-ish jobs although I got a degree at 23 but never put it to use and it was only last year I thought nope, let’s do this! I work full time in my boring ass job to give me my income and train around it, it’s tiring but needs must. Like you I tried to apply for other things after graduating and got no after no, it’s very disheartening.

I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t look at others, I promise you today’s “I have a perfect life with a perfect job and perfect partner” posts can turn into the opposite in the drop of a hat - not that we wish that on anyone but social media only ever shows highlights and not reality! Perhaps you could start your own business around a job, doesn’t matter how many times you fail, it’s all a part of life’s journey and these things build character and you learn a lot from it. I used to feel like you at 22 and if I saw my life on paper now back then I would’ve been sick because I’d think I’d have failed but I haven’t, I’m just on my own path. You’ll get there. X

 

[Megansnarkle]

I'm scared I won't ever settle on a career path. I've jumped from different branches of customer service and hated all of them. I've done shop retail, cafes, call centres and currently work in an opticians.

I've done bits of admin in the call centre and I found it utterly soul destroying. I hate the monotony of it.

The thing that jumps out to me from this is that you've chosen jobs where there isn't much potential for career progression. The people I know without a degree who have done well in their careers are people who started working and through proving they were hard workers and good at their jobs took on more responsibility and moved up the career ladder by getting promotions or moving employer to the next level of the ladder.

Cream rises.

But where do you go in employment like the jobs you've taken?

Could you try and find an office junior or admin role in a company in an industry you're interested in that might offer the scope to move up through the ranks?

 

[SC1990]

I'm 10 years older than you and just about to quit a career I've been in since I left school to retrain as something completely different. My friend is well into her 40s and just gone back to college. It's never too late!

 

[Codiaeum]

(I'm not from the UK, so I've only a very basic understanding of the education system and job training that might be available to you)

First off, as others have pointed out, 22 isn't too old for anything - many people are still figuring things out at that age - heck, I was in my bachelor studies then and had zero clue where I would end up.

University isn't for everyone and even in uni, not every course is right for everyone. You wrote that you like structure - regardless of where you are, unless it's school, you will need to learn to create structure for yourself, in uni and also in any job. There may be places where more or less structure is already in place, but if you feel like you do best with a laid-out plan, there's no harm in creating a plan or asking for guidance with one.

Have you considered internships? I know they have a bad reputation for being unpaid, but many many places aren't like that at all (my previous and current employers actually pay quite well for our interns) - you would be able to check out the job in general, learn some new things and many places want to hire interns full time later on.

 

[Norfolking Good]

I work in the NHS and there are loads of opportunities to train whilst you work so you can go in as a CSW and do your Foundation Degree which is the first year of a health degree whilst being paid then you can do your two year top up degree in nursing, midwifery, physio, Occupational Therapy etc… we have people in their 50s doing this you just have to be able to time manage well and be able to work at a degree level as you’ll do 2 days at work and 3 days on placement (works differently in different hospitals). Age is not an issue just application and finding the right career path.
Best of luck whatever you end up doing.

 

[Princess of Scots]

The thing that jumps out to me from this is that you've chosen jobs where there isn't much potential for career progression. The people I know without a degree who have done well in their careers are people who started working and through proving they were hard workers and good at their jobs took on more responsibility and moved up the career ladder by getting promotions or moving employer to the next level of the ladder.

Cream rises.

But where do you go in employment like the jobs you've taken?

Could you try and find an office junior or admin role in a company in an industry you're interested in that might offer the scope to move up through the ranks?

I took the plunge and applied for the apprentice surveyor role.

Whether I get an interview or not, that's another question but I won't lose anything by applying I suppose.
---

The thing that jumps out to me from this is that you've chosen jobs where there isn't much potential for career progression. The people I know without a degree who have done well in their careers are people who started working and through proving they were hard workers and good at their jobs took on more responsibility and moved up the career ladder by getting promotions or moving employer to the next level of the ladder.

I always just stuck to these jobs because I've just had it ingrained that it is all I can do as someone with no degree and just my Highers (I'm in Scotland). It's just been ingrained that if you don't have a trade or a degree, then customer service is your only option.

Office junior jobs have never interested me tbh. I really didn't like the straight admin of it.

 

[Megansnarkle]

I took the plunge and applied for the apprentice surveyor role.
---

Office junior jobs have never interested me tbh. I really didn't like the straight admin of it.

Best of luck with the apprentice surveyor role.

The point of suggesting an office junior role was not that it should be a career goal or a job that brings you joy, but rather a stepping stone to a next role up and up and up. It's a foot in the door to a company or industry that you might want to work in. It's also the sort of thing that can offer good solid transferable skills

 

[GlassOfBeans]

@Princess of Scots you need to give yourself more credit, you’re talking yourself out of your own self belief and how do you know if something isn’t for you if you don’t try?

You say you don’t have any transferrable skills but you do, it’s all about perspective. You’ve got a range of customer service experience in different sectors so you’re good with people from all walks of life. From customer service you will have skills in patience, problem solving, time management, conflict resolution, decision making, product knowledge and sales and social skills. Through your current job you obviously demonstrate you’re dependable and you’re a good team player. From doing admin, you will have sharp written and oral communication, planning, organisation and time management skills. Other skills gained in this role would be discretion and confidentiality. You say you’re indecisive but that shows that you have skills of being a perfectionist and have a keen attention to detail. You have said things that have made me think you’re a hard worker and adaptable in new roles. You’ve got great use of grammar and puctutation. All these things aren’t just common sense, otherwise everyone would have them and let me tell you, they don’t! These are skills that you’ve picked up from years in employment and obviously you will have more specific ones than this, I am just a stranger on the internet with no idea about your job role or history and look at how many I’ve picked up on. You need to have self belief and know your employable worth.

You’ve said you are looking at apprentice surveying jobs so I just did a quick Google search for the skills needed for those jobs and a few have said that it’s important that you are organised, accurate and pay attention to detail. You need to have a willingness to learn, be keen to combine practise with theory, good communication skills as well as organisational skills and time management. Ermmm hellooo? You have all those things, is that not you??

You just need to be comfortable with the uncertainty that is involved when taking a risk. If you come back to square one then so what? The world will not end. I am telling you now, you do NOT have ambitions loftier than your capablity, you need to be okay with pushing yourself because if you want something you’ve never had you need to do something you’ve never done. Do not let anyone tell you your dreams are too big because someone probably told them their dreams were too big so they never took that first step to make a change. Good luck! I really hope you get a surveyor interview!

 

[Tangerine Cat]

Just wanted to say GOOD LUCK with the job application.

22 years old is young Though I bet you don’t agree. I would suggest you think of what interests you and think of a career around that.

I'm 53 and have spent this week upset because I don’t want to go back to work! I spent 30 years in bookkeeping, rose to a good position but left it to do something different.

then spent a few years working for a divorce lawyer. Had to step away from that because she was a huge bully.

Then went back to admin, but the business was sold, and the new owners were as dodgy as duck so I walked away from that.

I've spent a few weeks being angry, upset and licking my wounds that I’ve had to leave two jobs I absolutely LOVED through no fault of my own, so I’m going back to bookkeeping but self employed.

I don’t want to work and have been through a lot in the last few years but needs must, and I’ve reached the age where I can put me first a little, so I’ve gone for a job that will give me a decent hourly rate AND be my own boss.

So my advice would be to try as many different things as possible until you find an industry or job you want to pursue. You will not have this carefree time without a spouse, partner or children for many years, so be selfish and take a few risks!

Make as many friends and contacts as you can too because experience has taught me opportunities come from that, but equally don’t expect anything from anyone because people can be crappy. If they’re crappy, move on, life will deal with them, it really will.

Finally, don’t look upon anything as failure AS LONG AS you learn from it, and go out there and have a blast.