Human mum and dog mum here. Had the dog before the humans. Dog was my first "baby"

Dog is insured.
She needs to apply for panto this year. She is dramatic as
duck.
When she says "diagnosed with my lippy" I gag. She manages to bring everything back to herself. The dog can't even get his 5 minutes. "I haven't slept in my bed". Guarantee she slept on the sofa. Guarantee she sleeps on the sofa all the time. However now it's an issue. Dog's fault she's on the chocolate. Nope you're just a greedy oaf who can't be arsed to have 3 proper meals. Let's face it, her face has been covered in those spots for month's. She's never stopped the biscuits and chocolate. Kidding no one.
What an insufferable
witt she is. Honestly I can see anyone one who knows her muting her in group chats 1000%. One of those "friends" that rings and you just stare at the phone until it stops ringing.