Sophie Cachia #22 Sadsack for lease sat in the gutter, waiting for someone to make her fanny flutter

[humanfemale]

Ok updates Chompettes, straight from my eye witness - our Frisbee Lipped CEO boarded the same flight to Bali as my dutiful bestie, who I’ve just caught up with over Facetime.

Her goss confirms that Smoph, Mumma Gayle, Betty and Bobdog were slumming it up in economy (no business class for her burdens it seems). On the plane, Smoph was overheard telling Betts she “would go to kids club and make friends there, no arguments”. Betty responded by chucking a whopping tantrum and telling Chomps she would not be going to any kids club, she would not make a single friend or have any kind of fun, and gave her bestie Mumma an eye watering death stare. Smoph ditched the oversized shirt and opted for her Isuzu blue crop top set the whole flight, despite the air temp being -5 degrees. Her lopsided nips almost poked out an innocent flight attendants eyeball.

Lastly, my bestie’s fiancé added his two cents by mentioning “Her crusty face looks nothing like her instagram pics”. Now darls, I could have told you that for free.

 

[BecJudd]

I just caught up on about 15 pages and reading about every states transition days was quite possibly the most boring experience of my life.
Thank god for the airport sighting and confirmed Bali holiday. The last photo of Bobby on her latest post is classic. He looks so unimpressed.

 

[Dippitybix]

Can we please call it a day on the school holidays chat we're here to discuss ol mate

 

[Sure…Media!]

Thanks for the new thread @screenfreelookatme Great job bestie. Sorry to hear you missed out on those Christmas pyjamas. Awesome title, Me! You’re also my bestie and I would gladly let you take selfies in the toilet with my newborn. Just please close the lid next time.

On this week’s recrap:

Welcome to the rebirth era! Like fish and chips, revenge is a dish served wrapped up in newspaper. Tickets from Terminal 5 tried unsuccessfully to milk the breakup by showing off in the tabloids that she has moved on.

In an effort to prove how seckshul she is, one of the headline opportunities was to be snapped outside Sexyland. Weekly Wednesday paparazzi photos seem to be ol’ Soph’s new bizness venture. Remember what your nana said about playing with yourself makes you go blind? Trailblazer Soph bucked that theory and has now miraculously shed her glasses in her effort to get hot. Oh, and shed eating. Let’s casually celebrate that even though our ex had an ED and we know it’s bad but how good is it to be hot for summer?

Short on a collab narrative for her mirrors, we were lead to believe she does housework and changes her PA’s bedding when she cleans. Dangerously, the PA risks 7 years of bad luck with every head banging sesh. Soph couldn’t resist highlighting how it makes her horny. We now all understand why she has a housekeeper. It would be incredibly awkward explaining to visitors why she doesn’t need a bucket to mop.

We’re so proud at how quickly she’s bounced back from her heartache. Turns out Alannah wasn’t though and a swift C&D was issued to any media outlet who dared sully her good name with rekindle goss. Someone needs to fire their social media girl. Totally bipolar, like the weather in Melbourne. Goes to prove her love was as deep as a puddle and all that nurturing, understanding and relatability means sweet FA to all her exes. BTW, in case you missed it, she’s horny.

Sadly, she was unable to attend her brother in law’s birthday due to (probably) not being invited and had to come up with a counter-plan with a new bestie. Can’t wait to find out which young athletes she’s going to overpower empower and inspire this time. Be you, not carbon copies of your next partner Sophia. All the photoshop, fat freezing, frail-baiting and new wardrobe isn’t fooling us!

Sadly, unable to accept an invitation to appear on the current season of Survivor as a villain, Soph shacked up at Sydney’s discount accom chain, Holiday Inn for some horny alone time. Something is afoot. We just don’t care what can’t wait to finally feel jealous in 2022.

We’re about to find out AGAIN what happens when an ill-conceived premise leads to even more jaw-droppingly misguided execution. *cough* book tour *cough* Will she be laughing all the way to the bank? Is there someone in that bank who can lock her inside a safety-deposit vault and throw away the key?

It was a happy ending anyway. She rushed home to see her babies. As the pilot lowered the landing gear, she tumbled out and landed gracefully in the pool. Like the rest of us housewives, Caitlin was delighted to hand back the kids to the other parent and is looking forward to some me time this weekend.

Now, excuse me while I go make out with my calla lily. Until now, rooting a plant was something I’d only done with weeds. Her hornbagness has rubbed off on me.

 

[screenfreelookatme]

Hello my darling angel chompettes and welcome to thread #22 for our Bajama Queen Sophie Cachia (nee Shaw, never Garrick).

Thank you to @Sure…Media! for the new thread title. Unfortunately as an employee, you are ineligible for a prize. Soz babes.

An extra special thank you to our favourite @humanfemale for the ultimate Instagram vs reality pap shot.

As you were everyone. I can’t wait to see Sophie doesn’t say this week. As always, I will not be commenting further.

 

[Sophie's hairy salmon]

Bintang Bali Bogan Bounces Back to Balls.

 

[Jezzybell]

Chompettes, don’t want to raise any false alarms…but my dedicated bestfriend is currently at Melb International Airport and has potentially spotted our Smoph.

View attachment 1778371

It’s gotta be her based on this atrocious colour combination (matching crop under this open shacket). In the words of my bestie, “put a fkn shirt on”. Any guesses on where the dedicated Mummy is headed? She is with Bobby and Betty.

She probably just does her Saturday morning shopping there - I mean it would be her closest shops - she could walk there!!

 

[StickyTapeTits]

Pizza? More like Taco Tuesday

 

[just taking a break]

Bingo. $269. Pity money doesn’t buy style. Yuk.

That dress is from the Kuranda markets and I won’t be told otherwise

 

[humanfemale]

HAHAHA Chompssssss all this content FOR FREE?! I’d be dying if I was the injector she was praising earlier today, cannot deal with this horse mouth filler migration

 

[mariah cachia]

And just to mix it up, another desperato thirst trap…all I see is flaps crammed into a wannabe strippers bikini bottoms and a sun damaged, wrinkly chest. Why pan over yourself this many times in one vid that’s meant to be about your Scissor Sister escaping leaving you? We get it, you have a vag. You go boss babe.

View attachment 1791257

I personally hate those bather bottoms. I am a nurse and all I see are surgical undies (similar to the ones they give you for spray tans) so unflattering

 

[AreYouJealousYet]

Don’t go to Sheridan 🫡

 

[itsspelleddivinenotdevine]

By “at the airport” she means they were at home, doesn’t she?

 

[ActiveLies]

What about the annual trip to Noosa? That she’s being going on since she was a kid, and wants to give her babies the same experience? It’s weird how someone who “doesn’t like the beach” exclusively holidays in beachside locations with warm climates. I guess equally as weird as someone with crippling flying anxiety who hops on a plane at the drop of a hat. And as weird as someone with the worst ever infertility issues who just happened to fall pregnant twice in her 20s. She’s a real mystery, our gal.

 

[influencerstalk]

She’s been a “single mum” for what? 5 weeks? Give it a break babe. She will exploit her kids in any circumstance.
She’s never been single for more than a few months.

Just came on to say the same thing… and whoever Lisa Caramel is love it.

So true…she wouldn’t last a second in my shoes. I am widowed now for 7 months with 3 kids. Haven’t had one night off in that time, let alone jetting off here and there and having Pa and the PA looking after the kids !

 

[Batholemewe]

They see the same injector, I’m so Shaw of it.

 

[StickyTapeTits]

Ahhhhhh everything makes sense now…… a lot of the AFLW players are over there for their End of Season footy trips. This isn’t some wholesome family holiday. This is Sophie being an international sexual predator. Again.

 

[blessmycottonsocks]

‘It can’t be forgotten the hurt and confusion that these two innocent angels have also experienced these last few months…..’ way to have a dig at Maddie. The confusion and hurt comes from the revolving door of randoms coming through your house Sophia, and calling everyone their big sister or mummy FFS. The blame lies with YOU.

I can also imagine the text message that was sent to Caitlin before she boarded the plane ‘Quick, pick up some flowers on the way from Bobby and floss because it will be great content for the gram to post about what an amazing mum/human/ceo/female boss babe I am’

 

[Smellzbellz]

Id say so. Im assuming MG left that ugly shit behind

And the bag

 

[SophiaCarCrashia]

*Please read in David Attenborough voice* - Here in the wasteland that is Tullamarine Terminal 4, we spot a prime example of histrionic personality disorder in the form of Sloppy Cashgrab. The Slop mirrors the every move of its closest acquaintance of the minute, determined to establish a ‘personality’ for itself, devoid of any real sense of self. *In all honesty though* - I’ve never observed a narcissist in a more pure form than SC. With every day that passes her delusions of grandeur heighten, and she’s seemingly more out of touch with reality than ever. Pity nobody is left in her ‘circle’ to bring her back to earth. The spiral is absolutely astronomical at this point and I’m totally along for the ride.