Social Anxiety

[megz-millionz]

I had awful social anxiety when I was a teen. Like others have described; I’d feel myself flush, go bright red, hot and sweaty for no ‘logical’ reason at all in social situations. I couldn’t go into shops by myself. Had to get my mum to phone and make appointments for me (doctors, dentist, hairdressers). I’d feel embarrassed about doing normal tasks like getting on a bus, using an umbrella, walking down the street.

I put it down to a lack of self esteem. I felt awful about myself. For no good reason too! Anxiety can happen to anyone. It’s also completely okay to feel like this too. (I always thought I was crazy.

Ive learnt to deal with it as I’ve got older and gained more confidence. I can quiet easily go into shops by myself and make appointments. I still get a bit of phone anxiety now and then. Talking to people and getting help is the next step for people. There are so many resources out there and amazing people willing to listen. The NHS have a long wait time for mental health, which needs improving. I haven’t been on prescribed medication (as I was always too anxious to make an appointment ) but have had CBT and hypnotherapy, which helped at the time. Also used herbal remedies such as Bach’s, St. John’s wart etc.

Everybody is different and we will all react to certain medications differently so sometimes it can be trial and error. I hope you are okay

hello
thank you its a very strange thing isn't it..? it has no logical reason as to why it can make you feel those ways? i literally only opened up to my partner about this at the weekend after i went all flustered when his dad simply asked me a question. Perhaps i thought it would just go away if i ignored it but the truth is its been holding me back. I feel a lot better for speaking to him about it and even the replies i have received on here. It has felt like im the only one who feels like it i know that's not true. hopefully i can do some digging within myself to try and pin point some root cause as to why it happens. i also thought that with close family and friends that if it happens again i could just simply say to them 'my anxiety are happening again' admitting it and confronting the issue whilst its happening could maybe help with getting over it...? also help them to understand that is what it is? i have been looking into some natural herbal remedies but there seems to be so many different things and not sure which ones are best or even proven to help..? thank you again x

 

[no-no]

Very bad social anxiety and the worst ruminator. Lately I’ve been making a conscious effort to watch and evaluate others instead of filling in the gaps. At work meetings when someone does/says something I consider a major faux pas I’ll notice how they reacted. “If they can brush it off, why am I not allowing myself to?”.

When I have to do small talk, I’m trying to think of all the times someone has made small talk with me and I’ve been really uninterested. I never judged them as harshly as I judge myself. So if someone finds me boring then well I’m just passing on the baton. I’ve honestly tried so many things but I think the key for me is being less harsh on myself. The more pressure you pile on yourself to appear funny/witty/interesting the less likely you will be.

I always like to be well presented but I’m pushing myself with that, too. If others are on zoom in their nightgown then I can skip getting up early to put on eyeliner. Sometimes being a bit vulnerable in that respect can make you more approachable.

 

[slugella]

I've noticed myself becoming much more anxious the past year or so. Particularly at work in meetings (currently online wfh), more so with more formal meetings with unfamilar people. I had one today where I had to do a quick 10min overview of what I'm working on and honestly was dreading it all weekend, hardly slept the night before, and afterward had such a headache and achey back and shoulders that I had to go to sleep.

Now I just keep going over what bad things everyone must have thought of me when I know it's silly and based on nothing but I can't help it.

Does anyone feel similar or have any advice?

Very bad social anxiety and the worst ruminator. Lately I’ve been making a conscious effort to watch and evaluate others instead of filling in the gaps. At work meetings when someone does/says something I consider a major faux pas I’ll notice how they reacted. “If they can brush it off, why am I not allowing myself to?”.

When I have to do small talk, I’m trying to think of all the times someone has made small talk with me and I’ve been really uninterested. I never judged them as harshly as I judge myself. So if someone finds me boring then well I’m just passing on the baton. I’ve honestly tried so many things but I think the key for me is being less harsh on myself. The more pressure you pile on yourself to appear funny/witty/interesting the less likely you will be.

I always like to be well presented but I’m pushing myself with that, too. If others are on zoom in their nightgown then I can skip getting up early to put on eyeliner. Sometimes being a bit vulnerable in that respect can make you more approachable.

This is really good advice. It's so true about being too harsh on ourselves, judging ourself more than we would others.