Social Anxiety

[no-no]

Very bad social anxiety and the worst ruminator. Lately I’ve been making a conscious effort to watch and evaluate others instead of filling in the gaps. At work meetings when someone does/says something I consider a major faux pas I’ll notice how they reacted. “If they can brush it off, why am I not allowing myself to?”.

When I have to do small talk, I’m trying to think of all the times someone has made small talk with me and I’ve been really uninterested. I never judged them as harshly as I judge myself. So if someone finds me boring then well I’m just passing on the baton. I’ve honestly tried so many things but I think the key for me is being less harsh on myself. The more pressure you pile on yourself to appear funny/witty/interesting the less likely you will be.

I always like to be well presented but I’m pushing myself with that, too. If others are on zoom in their nightgown then I can skip getting up early to put on eyeliner. Sometimes being a bit vulnerable in that respect can make you more approachable.

 

[LittleMy]

I have suffered with it for as long as I can remember. I wish I could help but I’m terrible at dealing with it even to this day.

 

[Cupcakeapple]

Hi guys. Does anyone else suffer with social anxiety? And what are some tools you use to cope with it?

 

[ADBABE]

Hi guys. Does anyone else suffer with social anxiety? And what are some tools you use to cope with it?

Hello, fellow social anxiety-er here

I don’t have any tools to help as I’m still trying to find them myself to be honest. I’ve tried CBT but I only did a few sessions and didn’t really put my all into it so that didn’t help unfortunately, although they do say that’s the best thing for it.

it’s so debilitating isn’t it? Here if you want to chat/vent x

 

[MyLittlePony25]

Yes! I am diagnosed with generalised and social anxiety disorder. I am having exposure therapy at the moment but it’s not really helping with lockdown and everything. I use distraction such as music in headphones and do not go out at the busiest times. I also have things such as squishies in my pocket and try to use breathing techniques. My friends know that ice on the back of my neck or on my wrists help. They anxiety of the anxiety is a big problem at the moment but my community team aren’t that helpful.

 

[MyLittlePony25]

I take quite a few meds for MH but venlafaxine and pregabolin are the main ones to help my anxiety. They have both been great but I have awful withdrawals from them if I miss a dose.

 

[Pjta]

I have taken sertraline too and it has been amazing.

Does anyone ever just get a rush and panic and think they've got the get out of a situation? I come over really faint and HOT I try abs laugh it off like "oh I had a funny turn today" but it's actually really upsetting.

Breathing and counting in my head really help but has anyone got any better techniques.

 

[slugella]

I've noticed myself becoming much more anxious the past year or so. Particularly at work in meetings (currently online wfh), more so with more formal meetings with unfamilar people. I had one today where I had to do a quick 10min overview of what I'm working on and honestly was dreading it all weekend, hardly slept the night before, and afterward had such a headache and achey back and shoulders that I had to go to sleep.

Now I just keep going over what bad things everyone must have thought of me when I know it's silly and based on nothing but I can't help it.

Does anyone feel similar or have any advice?

Very bad social anxiety and the worst ruminator. Lately I’ve been making a conscious effort to watch and evaluate others instead of filling in the gaps. At work meetings when someone does/says something I consider a major faux pas I’ll notice how they reacted. “If they can brush it off, why am I not allowing myself to?”.

When I have to do small talk, I’m trying to think of all the times someone has made small talk with me and I’ve been really uninterested. I never judged them as harshly as I judge myself. So if someone finds me boring then well I’m just passing on the baton. I’ve honestly tried so many things but I think the key for me is being less harsh on myself. The more pressure you pile on yourself to appear funny/witty/interesting the less likely you will be.

I always like to be well presented but I’m pushing myself with that, too. If others are on zoom in their nightgown then I can skip getting up early to put on eyeliner. Sometimes being a bit vulnerable in that respect can make you more approachable.

This is really good advice. It's so true about being too harsh on ourselves, judging ourself more than we would others.

 

[ADBABE]

Does anyone have any experience with medication helping their social anxiety

I take sertraline which is a anti depressant I think that helps with anxiety too

 

[Pjta]

Yes! I am diagnosed with generalised and social anxiety disorder. I am having exposure therapy at the moment but it’s not really helping with lockdown and everything. I use distraction such as music in headphones and do not go out at the busiest times. I also have things such as squishies in my pocket and try to use breathing techniques. My friends know that ice on the back of my neck or on my wrists help. They anxiety of the anxiety is a big problem at the moment but my community team aren’t that helpful.

What is the ice for on your neck / wrists xx

When I come over funny at home I ask my partner for a wet flannel for my neck is it to help calm you? Xx

yes 100% I’ve been in situations like that a few times in my life. I honestly think they are panic attacks

It really got to me before lockdown I had one in my daughters playground and had to leave her in the que with another parent. Really made me sad thinking it's not only effecting me now but my daughter too.

I have never ever fainter before? So I don't know why I think I'm going to it's so strange. X

 

[under the ivy]

I’ve been on and off fluoxetine for years for my anxiety/depression. I’ve tried mirtazapine and cilatopram - both made me feel like a zombie. I feel physically sick with my anxiety, it’s a horrible feeling in public. I’ve had CBT and counselling before but it makes me feel worse for bringing back past trauma. I try to self-manage it now by recognising my good and bad days and working around them (easier said than done some days).

 

[justheretoread99]

I had awful social anxiety when I was a teen. Like others have described; I’d feel myself flush, go bright red, hot and sweaty for no ‘logical’ reason at all in social situations. I couldn’t go into shops by myself. Had to get my mum to phone and make appointments for me (doctors, dentist, hairdressers). I’d feel embarrassed about doing normal tasks like getting on a bus, using an umbrella, walking down the street.

I put it down to a lack of self esteem. I felt awful about myself. For no good reason too! Anxiety can happen to anyone. It’s also completely okay to feel like this too. (I always thought I was crazy.

Ive learnt to deal with it as I’ve got older and gained more confidence. I can quiet easily go into shops by myself and make appointments. I still get a bit of phone anxiety now and then. Talking to people and getting help is the next step for people. There are so many resources out there and amazing people willing to listen. The NHS have a long wait time for mental health, which needs improving. I haven’t been on prescribed medication (as I was always too anxious to make an appointment ) but have had CBT and hypnotherapy, which helped at the time. Also used herbal remedies such as Bach’s, St. John’s wart etc.

Everybody is different and we will all react to certain medications differently so sometimes it can be trial and error. I hope you are okay

 

[megz-millionz]

I had awful social anxiety when I was a teen. Like others have described; I’d feel myself flush, go bright red, hot and sweaty for no ‘logical’ reason at all in social situations. I couldn’t go into shops by myself. Had to get my mum to phone and make appointments for me (doctors, dentist, hairdressers). I’d feel embarrassed about doing normal tasks like getting on a bus, using an umbrella, walking down the street.

I put it down to a lack of self esteem. I felt awful about myself. For no good reason too! Anxiety can happen to anyone. It’s also completely okay to feel like this too. (I always thought I was crazy.

Ive learnt to deal with it as I’ve got older and gained more confidence. I can quiet easily go into shops by myself and make appointments. I still get a bit of phone anxiety now and then. Talking to people and getting help is the next step for people. There are so many resources out there and amazing people willing to listen. The NHS have a long wait time for mental health, which needs improving. I haven’t been on prescribed medication (as I was always too anxious to make an appointment ) but have had CBT and hypnotherapy, which helped at the time. Also used herbal remedies such as Bach’s, St. John’s wart etc.

Everybody is different and we will all react to certain medications differently so sometimes it can be trial and error. I hope you are okay

hello
thank you its a very strange thing isn't it..? it has no logical reason as to why it can make you feel those ways? i literally only opened up to my partner about this at the weekend after i went all flustered when his dad simply asked me a question. Perhaps i thought it would just go away if i ignored it but the truth is its been holding me back. I feel a lot better for speaking to him about it and even the replies i have received on here. It has felt like im the only one who feels like it i know that's not true. hopefully i can do some digging within myself to try and pin point some root cause as to why it happens. i also thought that with close family and friends that if it happens again i could just simply say to them 'my anxiety are happening again' admitting it and confronting the issue whilst its happening could maybe help with getting over it...? also help them to understand that is what it is? i have been looking into some natural herbal remedies but there seems to be so many different things and not sure which ones are best or even proven to help..? thank you again x

 

[megz-millionz]

Oh my goodness it’s like we’re the same person this has been my issue for a few years now. The going red in the face part. I can be talking to someone and then I get it in my head I’m going to go red and that they’ll be thinking why is she going red and it becomes this whole big thing! I usually say oh I just need the toilet or make some excuse to leave the situation. It’s honestly horrible isn’t it. I also don’t have a lot of confidence and struggle massively with self imagine/self worth and I think it’s definitely related. I find it helps if I’m kind of controlling the conversation a bit if that makes sense so I’m asking the questions etc.

Hello!
wow yes exactly that and im really not sure as to why? sometimes its worse than other times. Right now I'm struggling to even have a conversation with some family members without it happening??? it must look ridiculous when its happening and im thinking the same like why is she going all red? i don't even know why it just brews up? i think its an unconscious thing isn't it..? i feel a bit jealous of people that can just talk or say something without it happening. it feels like it holds me back from speaking my truth or what i want instead of hiding and going along with things. there's got to be some way of getting over this situation so we can freely speak without fear of face burn!!!!

 

[megz-millionz]

hello
I'm not sure if the anxiety that i feel is the same as the anxiety that you're talking about but i feel as though mine has become worse over the last few months.
when I'm in a social situation and I'm talking or someone talks to me i can feel myself come over all warm and hot, even sweating. my face feels like its burning bright red. it makes me feel as though i want to run away and hide. its not like i feel particularly embarrassed by what im talking about but i can feel the sensation of it about to happen. im then left feeling mortified by the incident which then makes my anxiety of that situation worse. it can happen whilst simply being asked if i need a bag when buying shopping or half way through a conversation with a friend for seemingly no reason? iv given it some thought over the last few months to try and find out what could be the root cause. my partner seems to think its down to how i feel about myself and my confidence. i just want to be able to speak to people and not have the fear of this happening? it can also prevent me from speaking up and i would sooner avoid certain social situations. ugh rubbish aint it!!!!

 

[Cupcakeapple]

I have taken sertraline too and it has been amazing.

Does anyone ever just get a rush and panic and think they've got the get out of a situation? I come over really faint and HOT I try abs laugh it off like "oh I had a funny turn today" but it's actually really upsetting.

Breathing and counting in my head really help but has anyone got any better techniques.

yes 100% I’ve been in situations like that a few times in my life. I honestly think they are panic attacks

 

[josie22]

Does anyone have any experience with medication helping their social anxiety

I’m on sertraline and it’s made such a big difference. For me it’s taken “the edge” off and within a few weeks my physical symptoms of anxiety were gone. Of course meds aren’t for everyone but don’t be ashamed if that’s the route you do go down

 

[JoeBloggs]

Does anyone have any experience with medication helping their social anxiety

My husband has been medicated since last Christmas. He’s been struggling for years and I’ve seen such an improvement in him, slowly but it’s been amazing. He’s on fluoxetine.

 

[Cupcakeapple]

I take quite a few meds for MH but venlafaxine and pregabolin are the main ones to help my anxiety. They have both been great but I have awful withdrawals from them if I miss a dose.

Oh ok thank you. Do you mind me asking in what way do they help I’ve been considering going on meds for ages just need to take the plunge

 

[MyLittlePony25]

What is the ice for on your neck / wrists xx

When I come over funny at home I ask my partner for a wet flannel for my neck is it to help calm you? Xx

yeah so kind of the same thing but ice ‘shocks’ you back into the present and out of the panic. I don’t know if that makes sense? Ice and pace breathing is really helpful to me in situations where I’m highly anxious or when I have panic attacks.