Sober curious

[Wanttoseethescreenshots]

Is anyone else curious about becoming sober? I enjoy a social drink and probably have a big big night out every few months and maybe drink a couple of times a month if that. Far less than when I was in my 20’s but the older I get I wonder if it’s really worth the hangover and anxiety the next day.
Once I have a drink I can’t seem to stop so usually the next day I’m riddled with an awful hangover and anxiety and feel like I waste the weekend! The anxiety alone isn’t worth it even though I’m generally a good drunk! I wish I could have a few and call it a night so part of me now wonders if it’s best just to quit completely? I feel like I want to be sober but then know I’ll struggle in social situations and would also like to still have a drink on holidays for example or for special occasions.

 

[judgejohndeed]

Unless you're an alcoholic, I don't really understand why the binary 'sober or not sober' is that helpful, tbh? You don't need to give up alcohol forever, maybe just set yourself some boundaries around it, like you'll only drink X times a month/week/whatever, have one drink of water between each alcoholic drink, etc

 

[Wanttoseethescreenshots]

I think you’re right with setting boundaries I never really thought of it like that, I’ve just seen lots online about people going sober etc but I feel like it could have a negative impact mentally if I then did have one drink for example. I wish I could learn to call it a night, I think the best thing is for me to drive more too on occasions to take myself away from the situation completely.

 

[soph30]

Is anyone else curious about becoming sober? I enjoy a social drink and probably have a big big night out every few months and maybe drink a couple of times a month if that. Far less than when I was in my 20’s but the older I get I wonder if it’s really worth the hangover and anxiety the next day.
Once I have a drink I can’t seem to stop so usually the next day I’m riddled with an awful hangover and anxiety and feel like I waste the weekend! The anxiety alone isn’t worth it even though I’m generally a good drunk! I wish I could have a few and call it a night so part of me now wonders if it’s best just to quit completely? I feel like I want to be sober but then know I’ll struggle in social situations and would also like to still have a drink on holidays for example or for special occasions.

Try drinking a little less rather than total cold turkey? I have like 2 glasses of wine and a g&t on a night out and don’t have a hangover the next day

 

[Aliali23]

I'm sober curious. Really thinking about kicking it. I can't have just one or 2. I drink 2 maybe 3 nights a week and like you wake up feeling anxious and going over all the cringe things I said the night before....I think I'm on the cusp of it now, I can't go on in this cycle.

 

[candyland_]

I only drink small amounts a couple of times a year.. I have went years without a drink previously. I don’t enjoy drinking and I never have, I can’t understand the appeal to be honest.

It gives me horrible anxiety too.

 

[lastdis]

I was a social drinker .and only drank on big nights out. I’ve lost two people to drinking this year . So gave up completely, I’m not saying I’ll never drink again but now if I go out I can drive and feellike I enjoy the nights out more x

 

[Betty701]

I gave up drinking at Christmas and have no regrets I’ve done 3 holidays sober and lots of nights out and stuff. I have no regrets at all I’ve never said I’ll never drink again I just haven’t been in a position where it would enhance anything. I’m a very all or nothing person and was a typical binge drinker when I did drink which to be fair wasn’t very often but the hangovers and anxiety just weren’t worth it anymore.

 

[RoseRazor]

I’m considering quitting for health reasons. It’s just no longer conducive with my life. I can moderate but even small amounts make me unwell and it’s getting worse with age. But I’m stressing because I’m one of these people who if you tell me I can’t have something I’ll want it more. So I’m in two minds about officially ‘going sober’ because I reckon as soon as I announce it I’ll not be able the think of anything else. I’m thinking it might be easier for me if I just avoid drink for a while and try and just forget about it until it becomes second nature? I’ve had long periods of not drinking before but I’ve never committed to it permanently. Maybe I just need to focus on not drinking today and not worry about 6 months time?

Also, my parents are both alcoholics (we’re estranged) and so were many relatives, and I have that playing on my mind. My brother and I are the first to consider abstaining. My husband rarely drinks too so I’ve got a lot of support and a lot of reasons to quit. I want to say I don’t drink as a very clear statement that I’m very different to them. They chose their life. I’m choosing to be everything they’re not.

That said though it feels quite daunting. Like never drinking coffee or eating ice cream again. That’s a LONG time.

 

[boomska]

I'm thinking of quiting drinking. I was into going out in my 20's but i'm early 30's and it's not the same vibe anymore. Even so, last night I had a bottle of processco to myself last night and woke up early (as i always do after I've been drinking), and just bleh all day. I always drunk texted and it's just not the look i'm going for anymore.

 

[btw]

I’m not a big drinker anyway and everyone knows that however, I do often feel pressured into drinking on social occasions such as birthday parties, weddings, hen do’s and nights out with friends. I just don’t enjoy drinking, I feel anxious the next day, I don’t like not feeling in control of myself and I don’t enjoy the taste of most alcohol! I also think some of it comes down to the fact my mother is an aggressive drunk so I often relate alcohol to experiences with her.
How do people approach / handle the expectation of having to drink when socialising? I find it really rude when people pressure me to drink alcohol or question me like I’m some strange person for not wanting to get drunk but I often give in to the pressure in order to fit in with everyone else my age (early 20’s)

 

[Curlywurly85]

Can highly recommend The Unexpected Joy of being Sober by Catherine Gray. I’m currently getting stuck in to the follow up, sunshine warm sober. I’m sober curious but focusing on cutting down my units to the recommended 14 or less per week spread over at least 3 days or more. I don’t drink during the week but have a tendency to binge at weekends socially. Trying to nip that in the bud. I just love the feeling of hangover free weekends.

 

[Hibernia]

I'm struggling with something similar at the moment. I'm not sure if I'm an alcoholic and need to quit completely. But then if someone said you can't ever have a drink again I'd be gasping. Isn't that addiction? Isn't this a drug that really has no place in our life but has become normalised? I want to be free from it but I feel... addicted I guess.

 

[shadowcat5]

I'm struggling with something similar at the moment. I'm not sure if I'm an alcoholic and need to quit completely. But then if someone said you can't ever have a drink again I'd be gasping. Isn't that addiction? Isn't this a drug that really has no place in our life but has become normalised? I want to be free from it but I feel... addicted I guess.

hmm that’s an interesting one. I suggest analysing why you drink?
i say that because I had the same problem about junk food. I love a takeaway but mostly it’s that the takeaway will give my brain the dopamine hit it needs (which is naturally low). i could not ever have one again but it’d be a bit miserable.

 

[Hibernia]

hmm that’s an interesting one. I suggest analysing why you drink?
i say that because I had the same problem about junk food. I love a takeaway but mostly it’s that the takeaway will give my brain the dopamine hit it needs (which is naturally low). i could not ever have one again but it’d be a bit miserable.

Yeh you're totally right. I'm currently questioning why I drink and I'm guessing it's purely my only way to relax. Which is so wrong. Agree with the dopamine hit too. Did you find a way to break the takeaway habit?

 

[shadowcat5]

Yeh you're totally right. I'm currently questioning why I drink and I'm guessing it's purely my only way to relax. Which is so wrong. Agree with the dopamine hit too. Did you find a way to break the takeaway habit?

i think that’s quite common. It’s not the actual substance (alcohol in your case, chocolate for others etc.) it’s the routine of “end of work day, relax with xyz”. Sort of, I still struggle honestly but being busy, organised and (I hate to say it) exercise does help. It’s the weekends I struggle because I’ve got no plans or structure. if I go out for the day I get drive thru and if I have a lazy day I get a takeaway. Weeks are okay cause I’m in work and my days and meals are planned out.

I have a crappy relationship with food anyway and I eat takeaway for the dopamine and emotional eating. It’s a treat and a pick me up. Hard one to crack really

(Sorry for the aimless rambling)

 

[Aliali23]

hmm that’s an interesting one. I suggest analysing why you drink?
i say that because I had the same problem about junk food. I love a takeaway but mostly it’s that the takeaway will give my brain the dopamine hit it needs (which is naturally low). i could not ever have one again but it’d be a bit miserable.

Wow... I never thought of it like that before. The domaine hit is definitely the reason I drink. That buzzy feeling when you crack open the wine or the feeling getting ciders when the sun is out!!! Thanks, had never looked at it like that.

 

[Codiaeum]

I rarely drink alcohol and if I do, low amounts. It doesn't agree well with me (alcoholic flush reaction) and once people have seen how bad my skin looks plus the headache and running nose that comes along with it, they generally accept that.
I've ordered alcohol-free drinks in the past, but didn't mention it broadly, as I sometimes felt like the odd one out, but found that rarely anyone ever noticed that. After a few "no thanks, I'm not drinking today" people generally tend to just move on. Maybe just say that you're on some medication that day that doesn't agree with alcohol - sometimes it's just easier t make something up rather than facing the inquisition.

 

[terrance]

I am currently five months sober. The last five years I’ve been a big drinker. Not every night of the week or shaking off I didn’t drink, but I would always plan to drink, look forward to it and would never be able to have one or two. I would say before a night out I’m just going for a couple and I would end up blackout drunk and so hungover the next day. My mental health took a battering and when I went on meds for it I decided to not drink while my body adjusted to the meds. But seeing how much better I feel not drinking I haven’t drank since. I don’t say I’ll never drink again but honestly I can’t imagine it. I am happier, healthier, have better relationships with family and friends and I like who I am now.
I also love going out and waking the next morning clear headed and fresh.

 

[shadowcat5]

Wow... I never thought of it like that before. The domaine hit is definitely the reason I drink. That buzzy feeling when you crack open the wine or the feeling getting ciders when the sun is out!!! Thanks, had never looked at it like that.

Sorry I must have missed this!

it’s interesting to look into because businesses manufacture things specially to give us dopamine before we’ve consumed it e.g. the pop of the champagne, the crack of the can, the ruzzel of chocolate packet, all designed to make sure we keep consuming it because our brain associates the noise with dopamine

the Van Tullken (doctors on bbc) did a podcast about it - it’s related to junk food but it’s interesting. It’s called a thorough examination