I have a problem with alcohol. The problem is I use it as medication, my safety net. Whatever the problem, alcohol is always there for me. I am very grateful to it for that. My mother died of cancer very suddenly and alcohol was there, it got me through. I am not using my mother's death as a reasoning...however I don't think I would have got through it without it.
If I drink too much alcohol, I wake up with what Gen Z would call 'hangxiety'. I cure it with alcohol and it turns in to days of consecutive drinking.
I don't want to stop drinking completrly. I want to have drinks on a Friday and Saturday night, I want to get merry. Alcohol is a friend I am not willing to say goodbye to. I don't believe abstinance is the right way and I find many teetotalers to be bitter and unfulfilled. I want alcohol to be a fun friend, not someone I am dependent on.
My main problem is hangxiety. The only way I can think to treat it is with more alcohol. We don't have Xanax in the UK. I can drink for days on end. Tattle helps me in that it takes me out of my own situation. But I need alcohol to take the edge off things.
I am definitely going to control my drinking. I feel confident I could stop mid week drinking alone. Alcohol will always be a part of my life but I want it to be a friend, not something I am dependent on.
Those are my thoughts. I hope everyone is well.