Slopalong #3 She doesn't understand beans

[House of Carbonara]

I will never hear a word said against St Delia. I have many, many cookbooks and hers are the only ones where I can pick literally any recipe and know that it’s going to work. Also the lemon meringue ice-cream in the Summer collection is the bomb, I could literally eat my own body-weight in it.

Ooooh, I am.going to try that. Thank you!

 

[Duffster]

*waves from an ex-Stockton resident .

I’m not making anything because I can’t cook and it will be worse having me attempt it. I have given to two very local charities in terms of food and donations (£) but they are . Can I just tell you the amount to add?

ETA- In fact don’t. She is being so horrific, once I check the GK fully, if it is as bad as we think I will donate to another third charity that is book related. I’ll wait and give you the total in a week. I might have persuaded Mrs T to make something by then.

Tbh, it might be funnier if someone cooks a recipe from someone who can’t write a decent recipe

disclaimer:don’t do this, I just like the idea of it

 

[skronkywildcat]

dw, i don't completely know which placenta pudding was which either

anyhoo, got these earlier

View attachment 1861334

lidl didn't have raspberries or lemon curd tonight, but I'm going back tomorrow and i am thinking of jackesque workarounds anyway

Did you try the freezer section? They often have frozen raspberries.

 

[ChastityDingle]

These are my favourite threads on here. Whenever I see it pop back up I hope someone’s just taken it upon themselves to try a Jack recipe.

Same here. It raises my hopes!

 

[Hollaaa]

Whaaa? The only "chicken" in this recipe is 2 stock cubes? What a fraud!

Fuck that noise. I've already made the executive decision to put some actual chicken in. And I'm not having beans in a soup again. Those two things aside, I'll stick to the brief.

 

[Hollaaa]

I'll do Chickenstrone when I have psyched myself up get back from my holidays.

 

[ChastityDingle]

LOL. I actually tried this once and it was a mega fail. Absolutely does not work. Yomp to Asda and get a bag for 45p tenderplum x
---

Spoiler: alert

It doesn't work

BIB - Make sure to have 'three cheap toffees' (or something) to take along on the yomp...

 

[Blurp]

My local food bank has this on their website:

Our foodbank is a project founded by local churches and community groups, working together towards stopping hunger in our local area.

However, elsewhere they say seeded by the Trussel Trust. I'm not too sure what they mean. Are they an independent group in the TT network, did TT give them some help to start up? And are they suitable for a donation or should I look for another local charity?

 

[Captainmouse]

I can't upload pictures because Tattle hates me for some reason but I secured the oven mate I'm having a cleaning day tomorrow and weirdly excited to use it? Sad House Frau indeed

A little goes a long way

 

[That Forensic Man]

As a foodie frau it will pain me to follow a Jack recipe to the letter but I also want in on the fun so follow it I shall...

As I live in Norway and meat is insanely expensive, I SHAN'T be buying it so I'll tackle one of her vegan concoctions. One of the maverick ones from her mad lil head. Can I request the recipes for 'osso jacco' and 'confit 'duck' and pear cassoulet' dear heart @Notmycat? Depends on which ingredients I can source...

I had these ones @Notmycat

Osso Jacco
Confit 'Duck' and Pear Cassoulet

ETA no idea why it's resizing these of it's own accord, they should be high res

 

[Captainmouse]

Fraus, a warning to you all, particularly those following any of any of Jack's recipes, or take leave of your senses and decide to store sardine oil in the fridge, please be very, very careful.

Woman dies and 12 in hospital after botulism outbreak at Bordeaux restaurant | France | The Guardian

She needs to come with a permanent health warning attached

 

[Nonah]

I like the look of that. It's now on my list for the next time I go to the Trafford Centre.

You will be in my thoughts. I bloomin’ hate that place.

 

[MavisBeacon]

Ugh so much greasy batter

 

[MistyWindows]

The recipes from Grifty Kitchen for anyone who would like to revive the slopalong - tag me and I will post the recipe you need

BREADS AND BREAKFAST
Courgette and cheese soda bread
Prune and pumpkin seed toast
Oaty soda bread
Get up and go muffins
Banana peel pancakes
French toast
Raspberry and lemon curd baked oats
Warm sunshine oats
Lemon and berry Dutch babies
Monster bums
Secret scrambled eggs
Pear and bacon porridge
Homemade muesli
Cinnamon crunch
Pear and cinnamon buns
Apple Bircher

LIGHT BITES
Radishes and other crunchy veg with a trio of dips
Marmite crumpets
Roasted roots soup
Pangrattato Pomodoro
Veg peel fritters
Cream of mushroom soup
Roasted courgette and red lentil soup
Chicken and cannellini soup
Carrot coconut and chilli soup
Chicken porridge with a poached egg
Radish soft cheese and lentil salad
Lemon sardines on toast

BEANS, PULSES AND LENTILS
Garlic bread ribollita
Veg peel fafafels
Red lentil and onion dip
Kidney bean and pineapple curry
Old rejuvenated bread with chickpeas and greens
Black pudding and lentil Ragu
Mandarin white bean and Greek cheeses salad
Lentil keema
Butterbean veg and stuffing stew

POTATOES
Refried roast potatoes with blue cheese
Basic potato salad
Potato parsley and anchovy salad
Instant moonshine mash with veg and bacon jumble
Lemon and rosemary roast potatoes
Patata ntomata
Easy potato and egg curry
Kolokithokefetedes

PASTA RICE AND OTHER GRAINS
Tomato bread and butter pasta
Salmon lemon pea and sweet corn pasta
Black and cheese
Sneaky veg and lentil Bolognese
Mushroom and blue cheese pasta
Tomato chilli and crab pasta sauce
Ratatouille
Pastitsio (Greek lasagna)
Chickpea chard and lemon pasta
Chickenestrone (La Zuppa Di Uno Sciocco)
Risotto with peas and lettuce
Pearl barley avgolemono
Mushroom and lentil barlotto

FROM THE SEA
Crab and coconut bisque
Fish finger katsu
Salt and vinegar sardine pasta
Crab rarebit
Sardinesca
Prawn cocktail with caramelized grapefruit
Fish finger pockets

FROM THE LAND
Roast chicken and coronation slaw
Fiery upside down pineapple chicken
Cheat n Sour chicken
Chicken in a creamy mushroom sauce
Pork herb and white bean meatballs
Quick sausage and stuffing bolognese
Toad and friends
Cannellini leek and sausage pasta
Sausage and chickpea curry
Spicy pork belly with prune chutney
Corned beef chilli
Humble sausage pie
Sausage bacon and many veg casserole

SWEET TREATS
Tinned peach drizzle cake
Chocolate prune pudding
Sticky lemon pudding
Bread and jam ice cream
Cornflake ice cream
Prune ice cream
Chocolate cherry cake
Pbj sandwich pudding
Chocolate orange thumbprints
Sticky ginger syrup cake
Microwave PBJ brownies
Black forest mug pudding
Tuppence lemondrops
Mincemeat bread pudding
Bits and pieces rocky road

BAG OF TRICKS
The sugar hack
Egg replacements
Cheat roasted garlic
DIY light cooking spray
Porpoise seasoning
Scrappy stock
Sardine stock
Crab stock
Chicken stock
Mushroom stock
Odds and sods gravy
Basic salad dressing
English dressing
Tinned fruit juice dressing
Herbstalk oil

Basic meat marinades (whitefish, chicken, pork belly, sausages, chicken livers)
Soffritto paste

Starting blocks
Fire starter blocks
Banana peel chili ketchup
Nomato sauce
Tomato sauce
Chip shop curry sauce
Basic mild curry sauce
Garlic jam
Traditional white sauce
Instant cheesy mash
Instant white sauce
Instant cheese sauce
Peach chutney
Pickled pink eggs
Instant hummus
Dustbin pickles
Snacky beans
Yogurt cheese (labneh)

Could you please post this mystical instant hummus dearheart? Also wtf is nomato sauce?

 

[Captainmouse]

Wait what? I didn't know this! I've been buying icing sugar like a chump.

Real icing sugar contains anti caking agent

 

[Billybellend]

Good luck, tenderstem…my stomach churned just reading that. What recipe is this monstrous sounding thing meant to resemble?

 

[HotesTilaire]

Oh yes, she was horrid to Adam Frost as I recall. She said something like “you’re getting used to this TV thing”. When he was a far more experienced broadcaster than her. She was snarky about Monty too, cos he has a big garden, or something. How dare he.

An aside: Does anyone know why our profile pics suddenly have Jewish kippah? Hanukkah isn’t til 18 December. It did start on 28 Nov last year (2021) though. Is this a fuck-up?

We’re thinking fuck up. I’ll be honest, it’s making me feel bad about looking at Bear’s thread.

 

[IcanSpellBéchamel]

I have a “Dance Yourself Dizzy” earworm.

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

There's a button up at the top right to watch threads, tenderstem:

View attachment 2383400

Thank you, my dear - I shall make good use of it in future.

 

[FlirtyThirty]

May I ask what the ‘sugar hack’ is please?
---


am I being blind? Why are stock cubes not in the ingredients list? Nor are herbs…

I think the sugar hack is that all sugar is the same. So you can whizz up caster sugar in a bullet blender to make icing sugar etc.