Simon Harris #7 Twagic

[Pkershaw]

Alright, own up girls. Which one of you is the guilty party? Come on, must’ve been one of you!

I think it’s worth noting that your six-year-old son was bound to find out sooner or later that his dad is a nobhead, Simon. In fact he probably already knew.

(P.s. “she looked a bit Reformy”. You pompous, sneering, self-righteous, condescending arsehole, Simon. I personally know a Labour voter who definitely thinks you’re an enormous twat so don’t start thinking people only hate you because of political tribalism. That may be the only reason people like you, but that doesn’t work both ways).

 

[FrumpyCat]

(ETAETA: my GOD, I’ve just done it again. Second time in an hour I’ve posted on a thread thinking it was a Jack Monroe one. Sorry all, I’m putting down tattle for the night.)

Worry not dear heart. Southend grifters are like herbs. They are interchangeable

 

[mchops]

Somebody wrote ' if you pull the string at the back it says octopus ' he really isn't well liked on Facebook

 

[nothanksbabes]

He really should keep his gob shut over anything to do with Liverpool or LFC after this revolting tweet.

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Ahh, so it's excusable for him but nobody else. Got it.

For the record, nobody with a shred of decency ever laughed at Hillsborough jokes, believed the slurs or needed a documentary or enquiry or the internet to tell them that the avoidable death of 97 innocent people isn't funny.

 

[Pkershaw]

He is so shit. One comment hopefully being snide.
I'd point out Raoul killed someone, shot 2 others and was responsible for the police officer committing suicide. Funny content

He’s used this joke so, so, so, so many times before. The Raoul Moat incident was 15 years ago, Simon. Move on. This wasn’t a fresh, original and funny gag when you first dropped it in 2010. Nowadays, most people probably haven’t got a fucking clue what you’re going on about.

It’s also worth noting that he’s mocking the actions of Paul Gascoigne. A man who was extremely unwell and battling a whole host of demons and mental health issues at the time. But don’t let that get in the way of you rolling out another of your greatest hits for the 4,639th time, Mr. Pompous, High and Mighty, Paragon of Virtue.

God, he’s such a twat.

 

[SleevelessSlopSlinger]

Southend seems really awful.

Can confirm. The reason they made the pier so long is so people cba to walk the entire length to jump off of the end of it I fear

 

[Pkershaw]

Good grief. The scale of this meltdown over one fucking word

Great to see. I haven’t read every word of his latest dissertation (tantrum), but it seems to me that his objections boil down to the use of the word “dubious” and that the councillor stated that Simon got paid half a million quid. I mean, that’s true, Simon. Regardless of what you claim happened to some of that money, it remains a fact that you were paid half a million pounds. There. I said it too. Simon Harris was paid half a million pounds by the council. It’s a verifiable, demonstrable fact. If you were dense enough to get tangled up in some weird arrangement where you were choosing to pay people to help you with whatever the fuck it was you were doing, more fool you. Thats totally on you, your stupidity and your fuck up. You’ve even admitted as much. So suck it up cupcake and stop embarrassingly scratching around for a technicality to defend the indefensible.

Next up, “dubious”. At this point it’s worth noting that the half a million pounds referred to, was not solely payment for the Essex is United guff. It’s interesting that he only refers to that page as a justification for all of the money when the total figure also included payments for such social media behemoths as;

- This is Your Life, which cost us an eye-watering £70,000 and topped out at 1,500 followers.

- Never too Late Mate, which was described as having little to no engagement in 2 years and set my county council back a whopping £15,000!!!!!

- How about Essex is Smoke Free. £5,000 for 174 measly followers. Thanks, Simon!

- And last but not least, Essex Supports Veterans, for which Simon received £15,000 and drummed up 189 followers. When he tried to defend this page, he bemoaned the fact that nobody gave him any posts to share. Maybe they were expecting a bit more than Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V from the worlds greatest content cweator, Simon.

You’re right on one thing though, Si. Dubious is not appropriate. I’d have gone with criminally fraudulent. And don’t try and pretend that you’ve turned the comments off because you’ve sought expensive legal advice from a lawyer. You’ve turned them off to avoid counter arguments, you lying conman.

Sorry I’ve gone on there. Short version: Simon, you’re a stupid fat, grifty, morally bankrupt cunt.

 

[ahkrin]

Can we have a poll on the next thread? Options
I am reformy and think he's a nobhead
I am not reformy and think he's a nobhead

No need for a "i don't think he's a nobhead" as nobody will choose it

 

[lilykestrel]

COUNCILLOR MATT MATE

For those of you who aren't fully acquainted with Cllr Matt Mate from his friendship with Jack Monroe... and what he sends out from his official accounts ...

 

[Blue bunny]

If it had been someone else who took £15k to do no work for a veterens Facebook support page, he'd have been setting up his own gofund me to 'get the money back for the veterens' within minutes and then been shouting about it every chance he got.

I'd suggest he donate the £15k to a veteren charity but there's absolutely no way he would ever put his hand in his own pocket.

 

[ahkrin]

Is Simon going to world book day as The Parent Of The Boy Who Is Bullied For Having The Least Funny Dad In Existence?

 

[Pkershaw]

The hits keep on rolling in. There genuinely isn’t one single tweet at or about him which isn’t slating him. And it’s great to see

 

[lilykestrel]

screencapping for posterity

 

[Darvos]

Hang on, there’s a Tesco in Southend? I thought there was just an Express selling nappies and beer near the estate, a Co-op, a posh Londis, inaccessible Lidl and of course The Asda.

There’s a big Tesco on the left as you go in, but guest could only get there via several large and busy roundabouts so it doesn’t exist. Unlike the Tesco Express on, say, Southchurch Road, which sells nappies and bagged salad that’s sadly too fresh for Pov’s Pesto.

(ETA: an inaccessible Lidl is a 5 minute yomp, tops, away, down Ilfracombe Avenue and Victoria Road. Mind you, I’ve only yomped up, when the inaccessible Lidl was out of rocket salad.)

(ETAETA: my GOD, I’ve just done it again. Second time in an hour I’ve posted on a thread thinking it was a Jack Monroe one. Sorry all, I’m putting down tattle for the night.)

 

[Fred Santos]

Simon has declared, in no uncertain terms, that the claim that written contracts were avoided is a “complete and utter fabrication.”

Let’examine the evidence, shall we?

• There were 40 payments made.
• 25 of them were accompanied by contracts – not all of which were executed
• The other 15 Either no accompanying contracts. Just email chains or, in some cases some other type of approval.

You see, Simon, saying the claim is an outright “lie” suggests that every single payment had a written contract. But, alas, we have 15 other payments floating around. The first signed agreement was creared on the 23rd of July 2020 up to which point almost £70K had been provided over the course of the previous year wither with no supporting documentation or where only an email chain seems to have “created the agreement”. Paul Turner’s bizarre A level Law Student exposition about “contracts can be verbal” is technically correct but obtusely missed the point. If I buy a Snickers from my local newsagents the transaction includes all of the essential elements of a contract without anyone “signing” anything but the whole point of this is that even during covid times there was a requirement to have some formality. And even more fundamentally that no formal process was followed by ECC can’t really be seen as in some way as defamatory of Simon – the onus has to be on the larger, more commercially aware organisation (ECC) to follow a process that is justifiable and I am not sure anyone is criticising Simon himeslf for entering into these “agreements” for the lack of it. What the Lib Dem literature does, is criticise the tory administation for their oversight of process and for the value of money offered. The lawyers will have told you Simon, the dubiosity of what was paid for will forever remain a matter of opinion but I get the sense that the weight of public opion is not with you on this and reposting pictures (tactically cropped – not easy given the photo of the two of you was taken from the side) of you meeting Prince Charles four year ago is not going to change that.

So while the Liberal Democrats’ claim might have been a little exaggerated, your thunderous “outright lie” counterclaim is also a touch optimistic.

Perhaps we can call this a mutually assured exaggeration?

 

[Pkershaw]

Seems that the big return to Twitter is going great for you, Si

Not a single positive reply or tweet about him since his glorious comeback. Lovely stuff.

 

[Also_smoke_and_mirrors]

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ETA

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I've tried to keep personal issues off my page but I just can't resist pasting them here so they get more views and comments. I'll even attempt to monetise my threats of suicide and my autistic son. I think I have more children but I can't remember them because the others don't give me the engagement on social media. Go on Luke, do an autism. I said that. It went viral.

Fixed the post for him.

 

[nothanksbabes]

Beautiful. Simon and that other Southend cunt Jack Monroe's names are bywords for grifting bullshitters on social media and it couldn't be more deserved.

 

[Pkershaw]

Simon Harris getting ready to charge Essex County Council £150,000 for one Facebook group that gets 74 followers.

Episode 547 of: Simon Needs a Self Awareness Implant. The gall of this is really quite astounding.

 

[jf99]

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Translation...he's one of the few who give me the time of day because we are both massive twats.