Ex and I split 8 years ago. Long story and don’t want to drip feed so will do bullet points.
family bereavement my side 2010, took really hard spiralled into depression.
ex was/is an alcoholic and became more and more controlling, spending all his wages on booze, I got a part time job to feed the kids, got into loads of debt just putting food on the table and clothing the kids. Whilst working on an evening he would constantly txt me that I was a slag etc etc.
I stupidly thought if I’m going to be called one I may as well be one, in 2012 I had a 6mth affair, not really an affair more just sex.
I stopped it and tried to make my marriage work, but I was getting home from work and the kids would still be awake running riot and he would be passed out on the sofa and wet himself. And that was if I was lucky, if he hadn’t passed out when I got home he would just rant and rave, threaten to burn the house down if I ever left etc etc.
In 2015 I had had enough, I sold some things and managed to raise £4000 gave it to him and told him to get out.
he still saw the kids, although was still drinking and I hated it but I didn’t want to stop contact.
At the end of 2015 he came round to the house kicking off with his new girlfriend calling me a bad mother etc, it got physical and he broke my leg in 3 places.
stupidly I didn’t go to the police, I didn’t want the kids dad arrested.
in 2016 he found out about my affair that took place in 2012.
refused to give me a divorce, I got a new partner, he’s called him every name under the sun to the kids.
covid hit, he didn’t see the kids, had numerous girlfriends that all ended badly. He send eldest DD who is now 19 a message slating me and my new OH.
no Christmas or birthday presents for 2 years, blames me because I had to go via CMS as he kept withholding payments. I asked for half of what the calculator said.
Christmas Day 2022 he sends eldest another message calling me a “cheating C”
now he wants to see the kids and tell them.
so do I tell them about my mistakes, but also tell them about him breaking my leg?
do I tell them about all the abuse I’ve received for the last 8 years since he’s gone?
I don’t know what to do, the only contact he has had since the start of Covid is via text message and that was to slag me off to them. They are 19 and 17 now.
I know I was wrong to cheat, 100% but that wasn’t what ended the marriage.
his controlling manipulative ways was, I’ve had people have a go at me in the street because he’s told them I’ve stopped him seeing the kids, which is a lie.
please some really useful advice would be good here, oh and I got my divorce in 2022 I paid for it and knew I could do it without his signature
family bereavement my side 2010, took really hard spiralled into depression.
ex was/is an alcoholic and became more and more controlling, spending all his wages on booze, I got a part time job to feed the kids, got into loads of debt just putting food on the table and clothing the kids. Whilst working on an evening he would constantly txt me that I was a slag etc etc.
I stupidly thought if I’m going to be called one I may as well be one, in 2012 I had a 6mth affair, not really an affair more just sex.
I stopped it and tried to make my marriage work, but I was getting home from work and the kids would still be awake running riot and he would be passed out on the sofa and wet himself. And that was if I was lucky, if he hadn’t passed out when I got home he would just rant and rave, threaten to burn the house down if I ever left etc etc.
In 2015 I had had enough, I sold some things and managed to raise £4000 gave it to him and told him to get out.
he still saw the kids, although was still drinking and I hated it but I didn’t want to stop contact.
At the end of 2015 he came round to the house kicking off with his new girlfriend calling me a bad mother etc, it got physical and he broke my leg in 3 places.
stupidly I didn’t go to the police, I didn’t want the kids dad arrested.
in 2016 he found out about my affair that took place in 2012.
refused to give me a divorce, I got a new partner, he’s called him every name under the sun to the kids.
covid hit, he didn’t see the kids, had numerous girlfriends that all ended badly. He send eldest DD who is now 19 a message slating me and my new OH.
no Christmas or birthday presents for 2 years, blames me because I had to go via CMS as he kept withholding payments. I asked for half of what the calculator said.
Christmas Day 2022 he sends eldest another message calling me a “cheating C”
now he wants to see the kids and tell them.
so do I tell them about my mistakes, but also tell them about him breaking my leg?
do I tell them about all the abuse I’ve received for the last 8 years since he’s gone?
I don’t know what to do, the only contact he has had since the start of Covid is via text message and that was to slag me off to them. They are 19 and 17 now.
I know I was wrong to cheat, 100% but that wasn’t what ended the marriage.
his controlling manipulative ways was, I’ve had people have a go at me in the street because he’s told them I’ve stopped him seeing the kids, which is a lie.
please some really useful advice would be good here, oh and I got my divorce in 2022 I paid for it and knew I could do it without his signature