So sorry to hear that
@about.a.girl but if it's any consolation your not the only one.
I am going through very similar issues (for a variety of reasons) and I sympathise it sucks!
Particularly if previously you've had a pretty good sex life (or thought you did)?
For me it was the birth of my daughter that triggered all this (post natal depression husband being controlling and giving all his attention to his daughter etc).
So I felt left out and he wasn't interested in me as a woman just as a stand by mummy! Cheers mate.
Do you think there is anything you can pinpoint in your case? For example Lockdown was tough on a lot of couples did he slowly loose interest or withdraw his affections quite suddenly?
Has he spoken to you about it?
That would be a start at least?
Mine just went on the defensive and was in denial it's not you . I am tired we don't have time/personal space etc etc.
All true to a certain extent but it's about priorities isn't it? Put it this way he can find the time to watch the football if it's on no problems!
So I completely understand that when you've expressed interest or made the move and he hasn't shown reciprocal interest it is upsetting.
Yes I agree you can easily loose confidence or feel rejected and yes it's awful.
I am the same in that respect but then again I know in my case we have relationship problems but then this (lack of intamacy) doesn't help!
Do you think it's possible that he's quite happy for things to stay at stable and boring and is maybe shutting himself off because he sees it as some sort of criticism?
Men can be very touchy about their egos?
Also can be easily threatened by change (even interesting ones)?
Mine was the same when I tried to liven things up in the bedroom basically although he would hate to admit it he's a bit prissy and judgemental and doesn't like his wife to be overtly sexual! (So lucky me)!
I feel you though nothing wrong with being a bit adventurous or wanting to be sexuality confident and it's a kick in the teeth if that's shut down or not appreciated.
One thing I'm wondering though does he compliment you or ever make any romantic gestures himself?
For example taking you out to lunch or buying a bottle of wine or taking an interest in you as a person?
If he does you can build on this ... if he doesn't then he really needs to start showing some interest in you as a person and as a woman?
Sadly for me it's a case of familiarity breeds contempt and I find myself in a no win situation in that the more frustrated I get the more he backs away!
Is it possible do you think to just give yourself a break and concentrate on you?
Do things for example that make you feel good and in touch with your body exercise or meditate eating well going out with friends buying yourself something nice basically indulging yourself and doing what you can to reaffirm yourself as a sexual desirable beautiful woman?
Sometimes what can we do except tend to ourselves?
That's what I am going to do after going through a long dry spell!
Maybe just use the bed for sleeping for the moment that's also nourishing and just take the pressure off yourself ...sleep on it but maybe gradually re introduce touch but as a pleasure involving massage? I don't know anyone who doesn't like a massage? Do it maybe for each other but without any expectation of it leading anywhere?
Just to stay in the moment and enjoy the sensual?
It's worth a try isn't it? (Definitely going to try that myself)
I think if the relationship is generally happy in other regards it could just be a rough patch you are going through? Or it could be a bit of a case of not very well matched libidos (again same!)
In which case unfortunately you might have to be the patient one the one that tries to find a happy medium?
I get it though its frustrating too much is expected of woman and frankly it would be nice if men showed a bit more passion and desire towards their wives in general!
It shouldn't just be a case of ok I have you I can now rest on my laurels and not make any effort!
Unfair!
If he made an effort before he should up his game a bit and try to make you feel special or valued if he values his marriage then that should be a priority!
I hope that he wakes up from his slumber and starts to appreciate you or at the very least try and meet you half way!
Explain that it's important to you you have needs as well?
Or is it possible that he has anything disturbing him for example stress at work or depression?
Either way though even if that is the case he needs to let you know! So I hope that he's up for having that conversation at least.
Good luck with it all and I really hope you can work things out.
