Quick disclaimer - I am not a professional non verbal analyst. But I have taken courses. I do a lot with my work. It's part of a psych work up in the mental state exam. Here's what I got from her stories -
TL;DR - she is genuinely going through something, but isn't genuine when she says she doesn't want people to be sorry for her. She definitely isn't happy, but I don't buy the fake crying.
"
Honestly I'm going to go for a walk" -- she shakes her head no, indicating a dissonance between her words and intent (non verbal misalignment). She does this a lot when she's likely lying - you'll see it a lot soon.
Also, on her body stance --
Hard to say, but she is blocking off a lot of her body, which is a huge defence thing. Initially it was doing her shoes up, then it was how she held her arms. The way she held her arms is a self brace, like she's expecting backlash, or is envisioning it.
She also does a lot of self soothing with playing with her rings, hands, and touching her arms.
The talking with her hands is very much her baseline, I have no other thoughts about it - though she does use very pointed gestures - mostly towards her chest or her heart, envoking us to believe her
"
I need social media now for me" - lots of head nodding in affirmation. I believe her.
"
To not be consumed by what's going on right now" - a huge cluster of blinks. She doesn't blink this much elsewhere. Another blocking gesture, again to separate her from what's going on. Whatever it is, it has gotten to her.
"
I totally get that, I'd be thinking 'this person wants me to feel sorry for them' too" - a small shake of the head. Another misalignment? This is closely followed by more head shaking with "
but I'm just telling you from my experience (...) This is my coping mechanism right now". Unclear if this is more misalignment - it contradicts what she said before, so I interpret this as it's not the ONLY reason she's using socials.
"
I'm fixating on the situation we're going through" - another huge spike of self soothing by touching her arms.
"
Sarah's day, this platform, my YouTube channel" - a lopsided smirk at this point could indicate contempt, or a feeling of superiority. She's obviously proud of what she's done.
"
I need social media for self care and selfish reasons" - more head nodding
A lot of false starting when she's saying she doesn't want people to feel sorry for her. This is the only time I picked up a false start. She clearly wants to not say the wrong thing.
Then there's the fake crying. Very little movement of her eyebrows from Botox. No real Redding of the mucus membranes. The voice pitch change to envoke sadness. Sigh.
Is that not your entire existence?
