Sarah Burke #38 They’re gone girl. The gripping mystery of the 99 cysts that vanished without a trace

[brandambassador]

Hi ye bunch of nosey jealous dirty commenting cunts! It’s me. I’m back. Just couldn’t be bothered my hole at all using my fingers to type anything if worth as I’m just not sure this waste of flesh has done anything worthy of my time. Anyway how are ye? Are ye enjoying the weather? It’s fucking scorching but we will drive it on silently on 0% Fucks! Won’t we? We will? And we will laff! We will. I see she got her tags from the farmer on her ear

@itsnotmeitsyouok

Listen the rules have changed around here & you either adhere to them or you fuck off.
If you can’t answer the following Qs then please remove yourself from the thread.

1. WHAT is taking up space in Sarah’s fridge?
(A) enough Ham for a family of 17 x 365 days
(B) chocolate care package from her cykellll
(C) loudest ever silent journey medication
(D) All of the above plus 400kg Kerr pinks

2. What did KOC get for Father’s Day?
(A) initialled cufflinks for a man with no shirts
(B) a stepped up daddy card #gifted
(C) slippers cos he isn’t a father yet
(D) a blow job using SAXA as lube

3. What did Sarah wear to Ollies Christening?
(A) a bin bag backwards
(B) something she could have downsized in
(C) Nana Beddys sandals
(D) something beauuuuudiful


4. How many syns in the following SW dishes?
(A) a homemade burger with potato cake, mushy peas, layer of duck fat & the skin of 3 wild pigs.
(B) white chocolate porridge TRADEMARKED
(C) light midnight snack of 5 boiled spuds & a block of (light) cheddar
(D) Keith’s swimmers on avocado and toast

5. Financial Section.
(A) How many mortgages has Sarah gotten so far?
(B) How many more times will she buy her house?
(C) with the raising cost of living, how much could we save by shopping in oh my glam / Bperfect?
(D) How much does Nana Beddy hand over each week for the spin for chips?

*competition is open to all tattlers*

 

[brandambassador]

Been quiet as having some relationship problems and wondering can ye advise?
With my hubby 8 years. But he won’t hold my hand in the car on silent journeys and let me take a photo. Also, his mother doesn’t take the child on holidays and send me selfies. He also won’t let me leave the blinds open all night. And he said he thinks we shouldn’t drink alcohol 7 nights a week and that there isn’t a need for Heineken zero with our porridge in the morning. Have I been married to the wrong man all these years?
He has some good points, he’s racist, he’s a bigot and he is very vocally fat phobic so keeps me in check if I eat take aways like saying ‘you are a fat fuck’ but not in a nasty way? Like we do be knotted.
Would love some advice on this silent problem.

 

[Wildone]

Bed clothes walking, burps still talking , boobs swinging and nails mingin !

 

[Alucia]

She likes to sleep with the blind up and the ham hock likes it closed cos he doesn't want to see her snout the first thing when he opens his eyes so when he's on nights she gets her way it was some bullshit she spewed like that b4 anyway

Curtains open and blinds up is a signal to fertile ginger men on the northside that Tweet is on nights and they can pop in to see Burp

 

[ahtisyourself]

Does she think filming from upstairs in her council house of a view that’s like something from Angela’s ashes is aspirational or something?

Also why does she make Beddy out to be some kind of oracle or prophet. First of all the woman can’t even hear what Sarah is saying half the time and secondly the woman is completely indecipherable. She could be saying shut the fuck up ya geebag for we know and Sarah is translating it into what she wants to hear

 

[Get off my chest]

Iphone and ann roid. She needs elecution lessons. Also notice how she plays with her necklace when she lies

A few people were asking me *fiddles with necklace* its combadable with ann roid

Is Ann Roid ,Ross Heaneys ma ?

 

[Haymac]

2 years 3 months to be exact ladies and gents and burps and tattlers just to be sure. Even though that means its April and she said on her stories this morning it was June. She is flat out reading here cause no way was that a DM. Hi Sarz girl, change your sheets

Exactly.. so she shacked up with teef one month after she was due to walk up the ailse?? Do me a favour burkes

Tina’s idea of hoovering gave me a good laugh… she’s barely moving the feckin thing! Also when she mentions what kind of child Beth is she’s just short of saying Beth’s a cheeky little bitch

If I mam seen that video I can just picture her Saying.. thats the laziest way of hoovering and she looks the kind that hoovers round the dirt

OK so I'm home from work and sitting comfortably to begin my rant of all rants..
Myself and my ex are both front line workers who have two children both teenagers now. Because we didn't want to lift them out of their beds during the night due to us heading to work we sacrificed our relationship so they wouldn't be with a stranger as we didn't live near family or dumped into a crèche which may be well regulated now but 16 years ago they weren't so hard as it was not having the marriage we would have loved I was happy that when I left during the night to head to work they were warm safe and cozy in their own beds. It meant myself and my hubby were ships in the night and ultimately led to our separation and 7 years on truth be told I'm still not over. BUT our children were and still are the most important thing in the world and they are both really lovely people who we are so feckin proud of. Sarah comes on this morning justifying dumping Luke into the creche at 10 months which turned him into this well rounded sociable child. The reason he is like that is because of her detachment parenting of him. It's very very hard to see how his dad just walked away and started a new life and his mam is trying to do the very same. The reason he is so open to going off with anyone is because that is all he has ever known. The poor little boy never knows what bed he'll wake up in. Seeing her sitting their literally gagging on her own lies honestly and genuinely makes me so so mad. Like I watched her stories from last night from ages ago one point she mentioned was not forcing anyone on her child which is what she has done from the second teeth landed on the scene. That little lad has absolutely no say in who he's with or where he goes. Hearing her saying that luke was leaving his Teddy on her bed and to hug it if she missed him shows the manipulation of him obviously causing a scene asking him if he didn't want to go like there was ever an option to say no mam I'd prefer to stay. You can be damn sure that she sold it to him about staying with nanny Keith and going for treats etc etc.. that little chap will have real problems and issues to deal with when he's older and I say that as someone who has been there .. if she or teeth or any human in his life could put themselves in his shoes then the fact that his dad moved out has a new baby and new family and Keith moves in they are trying for a baby and where exactly will he fit in?? Seeing her sitting there rabbiting on sucking on those god awful talons congratulating herself on being a great mam and deserving of another baby just disgusts me.. she's a pathological liar and hasn't a clue about the real world and what it takes to be tuned in to your child's needs .. ohh and ironic that Keith was giving out to her this morning about taking a rest and as usual when she gets rid of luke she's off getting her curly sue do... right rant over coz I could sit here til midnight I really could

 

[Noseybatch]

Keith told her rest and this one getting ready for a fèis.

 

[Puffin]

We are going to get a post either this evening or tomorrow morning saying " sooooo many people have messaged me asking if I'm OK. I'm grand liikke . I said there to Keet now, that we would just take the weekend to just be , just the 3 of us , our family unit. I , I mean we, I mean I , have so much going on behind the scenes that I'm not going to talk about but I am recoding so I will talk about it. We have just been enjoying the sunshine in Chernobyl , I mean the back yard and Keet is flat out in on the bbq. I have had to do a shop everyday cos my fridge is full with non edibles (wink wink nudge nudge )

 

[francydoll]

I watched this unfold last night as it was happening. She put up the ‘call out’ video in the car in Youghal - where majella was minding him. Poor Luke’s eyes were like saucers. He was terrified. His speech was worse than usual. He kept asking her what was happening. The poor guy was petrified at his mother (term used loosely here) and himself having to do battle. The little creature suggested that Keet being so strong could fight them all. Gurrier Burp basically told that Keet couldn’t fight a 5 year old and he’d need to fight himself. Someone was obviously on the ball and commented that she was a low life piece of crap, an excuse for a parent and that she basically needed to be very careful of her public posts. I’m sure they knew her as they said - Sarah - you only know too well what I am aluding to. Within 10 mins of the last comment the whole thing was taken down. I know there’s uproar amongst HSE and psychologists about the damage these tiktok videos are doing to kids. My tuppenceworth guys.

 

[brandambassador]

I’m after getting hepatitis from her stories

 

[LegallyBlonde1]

Why are all the profile pics wearing hats?

In celebration of Sars big news tomorrow night

 

[Haymac]

Right while I grab some shade between that gorgeous sun here is today summed up..

Firstly what is the actual story with her hangin out the window like a tinker at a chip van? Like I just don't get it.. if I drove past my neighbour and she was hanging out the window making insta videos I'd be like girl.. go way and have a word with yourself!
So our Sarah has a new obsession and it's not herself but it's 'not healthy'... wowsers.. and her so disciplined and rigid with her diet and owning her own business Slimming World?!!! The mind boggles..
Now I'm not from Cork but in my neck of the woods when girdles go out in public we almost always wear a bra.. 2 watermelons knockin round in a king sized duvet this wan!
Now with this heatwave I'm going round the house like some mad woman looking for dirty clothes to get washed and hung out in this fab weather but not our Sarah.. those sheets could tell some tales I reckon ..
And lastly.. she comes on waving the old alpha wealth flag yet again.. the only thing our Sarah seems to save is water ... coz she sure as hell doesn't wash herself not mind those sheets.. she's shiting on about not getting coffees out bla bla bla and yet only yday she was in Circle K pouring a hot one for herself while the sun burned sclady head was outside having his fag in his wife beater vest on the way to the big shmmmoke for the IVF. The IVF doesn't count of course coz that'll be a freebie.. #giftedchild This week alone she has got her nails done, her hair done twice(because us commoners have to wash our own hur) she's got the eyebrows done and eaten out twice that we know of while sinking pints of 0% Heino on a random Thursday afternoon (but that's ok because Luke is away down the road with his new Nanny) and to just top off the week we have her play the most disgusting vile tictok on her defenceless innocent little boy because she loves to play to the crowd and is just such a devoted 'Mom'

Do me a favour

 

[Addd]

Three thread titles in a row @ahtisyourself really is the stepped up tattler. A care package of 0.0 vino and satay chicken made on Pepsi is on the way to you hun xxx

 

[Bobs86]

“Right Keeeeet, this is how I want you to do it, you pretend you’re gonna take a pic of me and I’ll act like I don’t want the photo taken, so I’ll pretend to grab your phone”

And the big ham hock just goes along with it? All the while Lukoland is in the background, begging for attention!

Would you be well?

 

[ahtisyourself]

Yes you did hit a nerve when you are spouting false information. They are not cousins ( I can confirm this). Billy is not Tina’s brother. Billy’s parents are dead. Betty is not Billy’s mother.

Are you uncle slipper?

 

[skittykitty]

Did I hear her right? When Keith is on night shift she has it twice as hard because she spends all night talking to him and then has to go do a days work. She has got to be the most insecure nut on Instagram. She can’t let herself out of his thoughts for a second.

I work nights as a nurse and if my husband stayed up texting me all night I’d ask him to give his head a wobble. Then again he’s a fully functioning adult with 3 small kids who has to get up and do a full days work the next day and doesn’t need to speak to his wife 24/7 to know I love him. She’s a complete bunny boiler, she tries to wedge Keith into every conversation in the hopes they seem like “goalz” but everytime she opens her mouth she just illustrates what A co dependent car crash of a relationship it is. It’s actually fascinating to watch in a way.

 

[xxlimgirlxx]

So she just said again her and Keith parent luke 99.9% of the time and never bad mouth the other parent… this one really is off in her own world

 

[Alucia]

Shout out to the Saxa salt getting out to the garden from the bedroom this evening

 

[ahtisyourself]

Sorry now to bother ye but it’s just so hard to know because she hasn’t said, but would any of ye happen know if Sarah is recording her journey in the background?