messiijessii
Member
I’ve been wanting to post this for ages but haven’t for various reasons.
I was hospitalised 5 weeks ago for over 14 days with a feeding tube due to my anorexia. I am not as thin as Ruby. Not that far off though. However, I was very very ill and much closer to death than I realised. I had starvation syndrome so obviously my brain wasn’t working correctly. I can now articulate how sick I was. I would faint multiple times a day. I was covered head to toe in bruises. I had a golf ball lump on my head, chipped my tooth etc from fainting. I was legally banned from driving. I have severe postural tachycardia and hypotension, a slow heart rate, I went from having three blood tests a day to now weekly as I am still a severe risk for refeeding syndrome. I had long beautiful hair and it falls out all day everyday, I quite literally have a third of the hair I had 6 months ago. I still eat fuck all but I really try hard to get well as I have four children. I have a supportive husband and family. Ruby looks and acts unhinged because she quite literally is. Your body has to work so hard to keep your heart pumping that it quite literally says “fuck that” to keeping other things like your skin, nails, hair or cognitive processes happening. If anybody in her life truly loved her she would be in hospital. I’m really triggered tonight as I just also saw a post from Sonja Bouw who so obviously looks anorexic as well, brag about her low heart rate warnings on her Apple Watch.
It’s my choice what I choose to consume online, and I am the only person responsible for what I consume. But I’m in my late thirties. Much younger girls may not have the sense to see through this shit. I’ve had to resign from my job and it is quite literally a full time job going to all of my medical appointments. Don’t do it to yourselves ladies. It’s fucked. Stay well. Eat and enjoy your lives. Looking skinny is not important in life. I went from a vibrant person who loved to cook to a shell of myself. Stay well.
I was hospitalised 5 weeks ago for over 14 days with a feeding tube due to my anorexia. I am not as thin as Ruby. Not that far off though. However, I was very very ill and much closer to death than I realised. I had starvation syndrome so obviously my brain wasn’t working correctly. I can now articulate how sick I was. I would faint multiple times a day. I was covered head to toe in bruises. I had a golf ball lump on my head, chipped my tooth etc from fainting. I was legally banned from driving. I have severe postural tachycardia and hypotension, a slow heart rate, I went from having three blood tests a day to now weekly as I am still a severe risk for refeeding syndrome. I had long beautiful hair and it falls out all day everyday, I quite literally have a third of the hair I had 6 months ago. I still eat fuck all but I really try hard to get well as I have four children. I have a supportive husband and family. Ruby looks and acts unhinged because she quite literally is. Your body has to work so hard to keep your heart pumping that it quite literally says “fuck that” to keeping other things like your skin, nails, hair or cognitive processes happening. If anybody in her life truly loved her she would be in hospital. I’m really triggered tonight as I just also saw a post from Sonja Bouw who so obviously looks anorexic as well, brag about her low heart rate warnings on her Apple Watch.
It’s my choice what I choose to consume online, and I am the only person responsible for what I consume. But I’m in my late thirties. Much younger girls may not have the sense to see through this shit. I’ve had to resign from my job and it is quite literally a full time job going to all of my medical appointments. Don’t do it to yourselves ladies. It’s fucked. Stay well. Eat and enjoy your lives. Looking skinny is not important in life. I went from a vibrant person who loved to cook to a shell of myself. Stay well.