She mentions using when in a lecture or having a conversation with someone. Woman. You are not in school, you are not attending lectures anymore. Those days are OVER for you. She is so caught up in being a student for the rest of her life, even if it means self-teaching, dressing up as a child when you are an adult, needing her family and younger sister to drive her everywhere.
This got me thinking, about the what if. What if ruby, instead of running home after university, decided to move out, get a job in Oxford, Exeter, London or somewhere with access to public lectures. With her YouTube she could probably afford to work only part time, or work in a low paid library position (as many of them are) in London (there are a lot of these positions going from what my library assistant friends tell me because most people can't afford to make them work). Then, she could talk about going to public lectures and how she spends her spare time studying.
I was re-reading Bluestockings by Jane Robinson very recently. It's about the first women to fight for a university education (so runs from the 1600s to 1939). What strikes me about this book, in the context of Ruby and her self study, is that it doesnt focus on wealthy women who could afford to spend all their time lounging around in literary salons or whatever. A recurrent persona in the book is the young woman (and her family) who really fought against class as well as patriarchy to access education. The women who attended evening lectures, or travelled great distances to access an education (as they couldn't afford to move away from home). The families who scrimped and saved everything together to give their bright daughter the chance to pull them out of poverty. The women who cajoled unwilling mothers and fathers in order to get just a year at university. The women who darned stockings for other students or worked as charladies when they weren't studying in order to afford their studies.
I think she would benefit from a job and from other social engagements pressing on her study time. It forces you to become more focused and discriminate in what you pick up, and you don't spend inordinate time making aesthetic notes. You pick up working understanding for discussion, and actually expand your knowledge.
You can absolutely attend lectures and not be in university. You can attend discussion groups (basically seminars) and conduct personal research. Heck, you can be working a full time job AND doing a degree. In fact, this could all be a great part of Ruby's branding. The problem is that she lacks structure to build her life around, and it REALLY comes through on her content. Like, the morning and evening routines almost demonstrate this in and of themselves. No one who has routine, structure and control in other parts of their lives focuses so distinctly on such small part of their day to demonstrate how "in control" they are.
I worry that Ruby really does feel like she lacks the control to give herself that direction. I suppose it is possible she just isn't showing us how she is filling most of her time.
I’m guessing it’s just her usual tone-deaf, privileged drivel?
