Ruby Granger #40 Ruby the linguistic terrorist

[Poguely]

I think we all see the queerness in this video but I struggle to think that Ruby intended it or is actually harbouring secret feelings for Blakney. I think she’s trying to give more of a “girlhood” vibe. I also think the love-bombing is a desperate attempt to convince her viewers that she does indeed have a “best friend”… when actually she’s probably quite lonely as her circle of friends is very small. I feel like she uses the “I’ve got a best friend so why would I need lots of friends” attitude. We never really saw her branch out at Exeter (in her defence, covid didn’t help) but I think this is an extension of that.

Just to add, nothing wrong with having a small circle particularly if you’re happy/secure in your life but I think that Ruby’s situation is due to the way she isolates herself..

I think it’s important not to presume someone’s sexuality. Part of me feels like her sheltered life will probably end up with her meeting someone, getting married, having a nuclear family and living in a manor like mummy and daddy. Imagine if she did a Grace Booth and does it all in the space of a few months

Does anybody else get the sense that Blakeley kind of uses Ruby, too? They never just do things as friends, like meet up in London for a meal, got to the movies, or even shopping. All of which we see Ruby do with her family and other friends. Every time we've seen/heard about Blakeley since Ruby left Exeter, it's been at some big fancy event or expensive trips which is usually part of Ruby's social media 'career', for example, the sponsered social media trip to the Hay book festival. Even then, Ruby seems to end up wandering about alone once Blakeley has found other people to hang around with.

It would be interesting to see how much of this trip Ruby paid for vs how much Blakeley paid for.

 

[Redrose97]

Does anybody else get the sense that Blakeley kind of uses Ruby, too? They never just do things as friends, like meet up in London for a meal, got to the movies, or even shopping. All of which we see Ruby do with her family and other friends. Every time we've seen/heard about Blakeley since Ruby left Exeter, it's been at some big fancy event or expensive trips which is usually part of Ruby's social media 'career', for example, the sponsered social media trip to the Hay book festival. Even then, Ruby seems to end up wandering about alone once Blakeley has found other people to hang around with.

It would be interesting to see how much of this trip Ruby paid for vs how much Blakeley paid for.

I do think that there is a discrepancy in how much they two see one another as friends. I do think that Ruby is someone who would be rather draining to be around and a bit like a puppy, constantly needing to be reassured and praised for things. She would be a rather possessive friend I think, I get that vibe from her.

Blakney comes off as being much more mature and grounded than Ruby, and probably has more friends than Ruby especially since she was out and about in University and she's worked etc. I don't think that Blakney considers Ruby to be her best friend to the extent that Ruby does with her. They lived in student accommodation for a few months together at most due to Ruby going back home due to the covid. Blakney does rather well for herself being friends with Ruby, she got the freebies such as the meal kits when they were in university and goes events in London with her etc as trade off for Ruby copying her notes etc.

 

[judgingyourlife]

I'm sorry but I can't believe Ruby got her in on the twirling

 

[birthofthecool]

I just watched the Italy video. I don’t really watch much Ruby at all and it’s shocking how different her voice sounds in the voiceover compared to when talking with Blakeney.

Also, did anyone else see that on the postcard she was writing near the beginning it started simply with “dear friend”. Such a weird and old-fashioned way to start a postcard (very on brand for Ruby but weird nonetheless)

 

[pineapplesandcheese]

RE her obsession with Blakeny, I think it's possible that Ruby is on the autism spectrum (although obviously she could be autistic and queer). I can't remember what it's called but I read recently that it's quite common for autistic people to become fixated on certain people, not necessarily in a romantic way. I'm autistic and thought I was bi for a long time growing up because of how much I admired certain girls, but I later realised it wasn't romantic or sexual attraction, just idolisation essentially. I think if Ruby was an undiagnosed autistic it would explain why she keeps 'trying on' different roles and personalities, e.g trying to act like various fictional characters. But this is just speculation, there could be many many reasons why Ruby acts the way she does

 

[watercoloredfaerie]

Queer autistic here and I definitely have had infatuations with friends or just people I admired without it being romantic at all, I just… really wanted to be them. Lol

ruby definitely changes depending on the company she’s in but yeah I won’t diagnose others (there’s many reasons for that of course, even allistics can behave like the people they’re around because humans are social creatures and we just be like that)

 

[inyo]

Does anybody else get the sense that Blakeley kind of uses Ruby, too? They never just do things as friends, like meet up in London for a meal, got to the movies, or even shopping. All of which we see Ruby do with her family and other friends. Every time we've seen/heard about Blakeley since Ruby left Exeter, it's been at some big fancy event or expensive trips which is usually part of Ruby's social media 'career', for example, the sponsered social media trip to the Hay book festival. Even then, Ruby seems to end up wandering about alone once Blakeley has found other people to hang around with.

It would be interesting to see how much of this trip Ruby paid for vs how much Blakeley paid for.

I think it's either this or Blakeney is working full-time and can't meet up a lot, so when she does have the opportunity Ruby plans something special for her bast frand

 

[crowleyskeeper1]

RE her obsession with Blakeny, I think it's possible that Ruby is on the autism spectrum (although obviously she could be autistic and queer). I can't remember what it's called but I read recently that it's quite common for autistic people to become fixated on certain people, not necessarily in a romantic way. I'm autistic and thought I was bi for a long time growing up because of how much I admired certain girls, but I later realised it wasn't romantic or sexual attraction, just idolisation essentially. I think if Ruby was an undiagnosed autistic it would explain why she keeps 'trying on' different roles and personalities, e.g trying to act like various fictional characters. But this is just speculation, there could be many many reasons why Ruby acts the way she does

I agree. I think she's neurodivergent. I have adhd and I struggle with random hyperfixiations in random crafts and people much like Ruby, but while I am a couple of years younger than Ruby, I do try to be aware of when I am doing so and whether or not I should be. It helps that I've been diagnosed and medicated, so if Ruby is on some kind of spectrum and she has yet to be diagnosed, I can empathize with not knowing why you want to do random things like take up gymnastics or learn how to bake and then quickly go on to the next thing without actually being good at the first thing.

 

[coldestofspirits]

Ironically enough, I think being neurodiverse can also make it more tricky and complicated to “work out” your sexuality for some people. Not to stray even more off-topic by going into depth, but I believe this was the case for me (also neurodiverse). So it isn’t necessarily the case of neurodiversity making queerness less likely, or vice versa.

 

[Whisper2Me]

I wholeheartedly agree that Ruby is not in love with Blakeney, but rather infatuated with her. She has lived such a narrow life that it is not unusual for her to cling to anyone who might be patient with her, spend time with her, flatter her on occasion and be, in any way, a role model to her. Even if they don't want any part of it. I don't feel Blakeney reciprocates these feelings. She is very much her own person and has her own life. I mean, neither of them saw each other for a year, so it really isn't that much of a friendship either, when they live in the same country and attended the same uni/roomed with each other, but neither found time to be together. It is easier to get along when you are apart and don't have to deal with any reality. All the best friend crap is immature thinking. I did not refer to people as my best friend or my 2nd best friend by the time I was attending college. They all fell under the category of friends and it was fine. I didn't need to put special labels on them. They weren't perfect. I wasn't perfect. We had great times. Ruby is seeing her relationship through rose-coloured glasses and it is easy to "imagine" what a vacation or time with a friend will be like, as opposed to actually being with them, especially after a year goes by. During that time her infatuation can easily turn to an unhealthy obsession. I felt like labeling her as her "best" friend, all the time, is her way of trying to force the relationship and lock it in, rather than let it mature naturally, even if that means going separately their own way. I remember Ruby talking a lot about certain teachers of her old school and wonder if she was somewhat infatuated by some of them, too. Very much like she becomes obsessed with fictional characters or play-acting; Hermoine Granger, Anne of Green Gables, Sarah in A Little Princess, Matilda, etc.. The list is rather endless. I don't think anything physical is happening. Just watching them try to twirl each other and how awkward they both were with each other didn't scream relationship to me. It was more like Blakeney pacifying the child-woman who probably paid for her vacation to babysit her. So many of these online, fellow YouTuber friendships are tremendously fake and anything but sincere. They are out for content, money and viewership. Nothing more. So they all use each other or anyone else that falls into their path for their own egos. Ruby is no different.

 

[Poguely]

RE her obsession with Blakeny, I think it's possible that Ruby is on the autism spectrum (although obviously she could be autistic and queer). I can't remember what it's called but I read recently that it's quite common for autistic people to become fixated on certain people, not necessarily in a romantic way. I'm autistic and thought I was bi for a long time growing up because of how much I admired certain girls, but I later realised it wasn't romantic or sexual attraction, just idolisation essentially. I think if Ruby was an undiagnosed autistic it would explain why she keeps 'trying on' different roles and personalities, e.g trying to act like various fictional characters. But this is just speculation, there could be many many reasons why Ruby acts the way she does

I don't think she's autistic. She doesn't act this way because this is who she is, she is playing a character because she doesn't know/like herself.

As we've discussed many times over, something went very wrong in Bone manor along the way that really messed Ruby and Martha up. If I had to guess, it happened when Ruby was 13-14 because sometimes Ruby talks about how when she first started secondary school she actually had lots of friends, liked popular culture things like one direction and fashion, went on sleepovers every weekend, and even at one point had a boyfriend.

We will never know for sure what happened, but something did to make Martha so suicidal and Ruby the walking mess she is today who can't even be alone in her own house overnight.

And, unfortunately, nothing is going to change because it suits Clarice to keep Ruby as a perpetual child to keep her drunk ass company/make sure she doesn't choke on her own vomit when daddy soup pits is avoiding her again.

 

[drew54]

I'm autistic and Ruby has always given me the vibes that she is neurodivergent. Women are often undiagnosed, but she could have also just lived a sheltered life.

 

[otravlen]

Just wanted to chime in on the ND discussion. I know none of us are at a liberty to diagnose her so I hope nobody thinks I'm trying to do so
I was diagnosed (audhd) kind of late just before my 18th birthday and see a lot of similarities between myself and Ruby; even up until recently I used to associate myself with certain characters because I struggle with a sense of self and identifying with characters helped give me some kind of structure, but therapy and meds have helped with this. I was also quite sheltered until moving to my uni's city (not in Ruby's sense of living in a manor with immense wealth though) which didn't help my symptoms. I know it isn't the case for every girl with autism and/or adhd, but it's quite common for us to seem more childlike in our interests, mannerisms, etc (source: personal experience and unmasking autism by Devon Price).

ETA: I'm by no means necessarily defending her or saying that living as a character (etc) is healthy as such!

Sorry for the ramble, just wanted to add to the ND experiences that others are sharing

 

[coldestofspirits]

I think it’s interesting that Ruby’s life is described throughout these threads as sheltered, “narrow”, etc. I’m not sure how true that is? Part of that perspective on Ruby is her own portrayal of herself - she wants to seem sheltered and even “unworldly”, because it makes her special and gives the perfect explanation for her behaviours.

But her background is very privileged and she hasn’t been constrained in her activities by any particular cultural factor (e.g. fundamentalist religion). She has always had access to education, cultural opportunities, travel, sports, and a wealth of material goods. She did multiple extra curricular activities. She travelled repeatedly to London for extra cultural activities to bolster her Oxford application. She was fully supported in her ambitions. She was well-regarded by her school and selected as head girl.

She went to a good university and, yes, did get a first-class degree. She did live away from her parents, as much as we may criticise the details of how she handled Covid. And she became a successful content creator as a teenager - that is her real job. The finances tell their own tale.

She owns property. She is, yes, late learning to drive - but that’s relatively more common now in the wake of Covid, which itself affected driving lesson availability. She is monied enough that it’s understandable it wasn’t her priority. She has now travelled fairly extensively in Europe, albeit without ever going off the beaten track, and she has been to the US - she’s no adventurer, but I don’t think this can be considered a narrow life when many are unable to afford travel at all. Most forms of “adventurous” and “authentic” travel are ultimately fairly fabricated also.

She has hobbies, does sport for pleasure, struggles with mental health issues, sees a therapist, reads, is pursuing graduate education, writes, and continues with her job. Several of her family members are also struggling - she doesn’t focus on that in her content but surely it affects her. Her life isn’t perfect because nobody’s life is.

Believe me, it feels weird to write essentially a “defence” of Ruby when I’m normally very critical of her. I think she’s a deeply troubled person producing harmful content, and nothing I’ve said here changes my take on that. But I think she’s just…experienced what she’s experienced. Her life isn’t inherently narrow because she hasn’t been on a load of dates or gone backpacking in Thailand. She isn’t necessarily sheltered because she pretends to be (especially not if there is indeed alcoholism in her immediate family). A lot of what she posts is always, really, a performance imo.

 

[Corneilya]

Ok, theory time here:

We all know, or at least are like 99% sure, that Ruby is checking at these threads about herself. What if she was orchestrating this whole situation just to give us things to talk about ( and mostly laught at us alone in her moldy manor) ? We know she's not the most intelligent person ever, but manipulating people and driving them to think something through medias doesn't require being that bright, even the basic idiot can do it, it'll just be less subtle.
The whole Blakeney thing would be logical, she needs her for her fictionnal universe and for Blakeney it means access to something unlocked by money, which she maybe doesn't have as much as Ruby & her family. She's like an actor, "paid" for being a part of the Granger fiction.
We saw her sounding and acting differently in some short videos mostly with her sister, so what if Ruby was another person, surfing on all the weirdest trends she could find to exploit a bunch of naive kids and some occasional freakshows as her ultimate admirer penultimate?

Influencers are most of the time liars, and manipulators. It wouldn't be a surprise if she used people's theories and ideas to create new content for them to discuss about. This whole circle ensure her enough content to work on and make more videos.

 

[Ilaariaa]

I think it’s interesting that Ruby’s life is described throughout these threads as sheltered, “narrow”, etc. I’m not sure how true that is? Part of that perspective on Ruby is her own portrayal of herself - she wants to seem sheltered and even “unworldly”, because it makes her special and gives the perfect explanation for her behaviours.

But her background is very privileged and she hasn’t been constrained in her activities by any particular cultural factor (e.g. fundamentalist religion). She has always had access to education, cultural opportunities, travel, sports, and a wealth of material goods. She did multiple extra curricular activities. She travelled repeatedly to London for extra cultural activities to bolster her Oxford application. She was fully supported in her ambitions. She was well-regarded by her school and selected as head girl.

She went to a good university and, yes, did get a first-class degree. She did live away from her parents, as much as we may criticise the details of how she handled Covid. And she became a successful content creator as a teenager - that is her real job. The finances tell their own tale.

She owns property. She is, yes, late learning to drive - but that’s relatively more common now in the wake of Covid, which itself affected driving lesson availability. She is monied enough that it’s understandable it wasn’t her priority. She has now travelled fairly extensively in Europe, albeit without ever going off the beaten track, and she has been to the US - she’s no adventurer, but I don’t think this can be considered a narrow life when many are unable to afford travel at all. Most forms of “adventurous” and “authentic” travel are ultimately fairly fabricated also.

She has hobbies, does sport for pleasure, struggles with mental health issues, sees a therapist, reads, is pursuing graduate education, writes, and continues with her job. Several of her family members are also struggling - she doesn’t focus on that in her content but surely it affects her. Her life isn’t perfect because nobody’s life is.

Believe me, it feels weird to write essentially a “defence” of Ruby when I’m normally very critical of her. I think she’s a deeply troubled person producing harmful content, and nothing I’ve said here changes my take on that. But I think she’s just…experienced what she’s experienced. Her life isn’t inherently narrow because she hasn’t been on a load of dates or gone backpacking in Thailand. She isn’t necessarily sheltered because she pretends to be (especially not if there is indeed alcoholism in her immediate family). A lot of what she posts is always, really, a performance imo.

I think when people say she's sheltered they mean that she has no clue how normal people outside of her tiny little bubble live. Not that she hasn't had life experiences.
I mean this is someone who thinks it's normal and relatable to book a trip to Venice to get over writer's block. She's never had to pay bills or do anything by herself. When she moved to Exeter and was on her own for the first time she panicked and went straight back to mommy and daddy as soon as she could.

 

[Poguely]

I think it’s interesting that Ruby’s life is described throughout these threads as sheltered, “narrow”, etc. I’m not sure how true that is? Part of that perspective on Ruby is her own portrayal of herself - she wants to seem sheltered and even “unworldly”, because it makes her special and gives the perfect explanation for her behaviours.

But her background is very privileged and she hasn’t been constrained in her activities by any particular cultural factor (e.g. fundamentalist religion). She has always had access to education, cultural opportunities, travel, sports, and a wealth of material goods. She did multiple extra curricular activities. She travelled repeatedly to London for extra cultural activities to bolster her Oxford application. She was fully supported in her ambitions. She was well-regarded by her school and selected as head girl.

She went to a good university and, yes, did get a first-class degree. She did live away from her parents, as much as we may criticise the details of how she handled Covid. And she became a successful content creator as a teenager - that is her real job. The finances tell their own tale.

She owns property. She is, yes, late learning to drive - but that’s relatively more common now in the wake of Covid, which itself affected driving lesson availability. She is monied enough that it’s understandable it wasn’t her priority. She has now travelled fairly extensively in Europe, albeit without ever going off the beaten track, and she has been to the US - she’s no adventurer, but I don’t think this can be considered a narrow life when many are unable to afford travel at all. Most forms of “adventurous” and “authentic” travel are ultimately fairly fabricated also.

She has hobbies, does sport for pleasure, struggles with mental health issues, sees a therapist, reads, is pursuing graduate education, writes, and continues with her job. Several of her family members are also struggling - she doesn’t focus on that in her content but surely it affects her. Her life isn’t perfect because nobody’s life is.

Believe me, it feels weird to write essentially a “defence” of Ruby when I’m normally very critical of her. I think she’s a deeply troubled person producing harmful content, and nothing I’ve said here changes my take on that. But I think she’s just…experienced what she’s experienced. Her life isn’t inherently narrow because she hasn’t been on a load of dates or gone backpacking in Thailand. She isn’t necessarily sheltered because she pretends to be (especially not if there is indeed alcoholism in her immediate family). A lot of what she posts is always, really, a performance imo.

That's kind of the point. Her entire life is preformative. She's not writing/reading/presuing higher education because she genuinely wants to, she is doing it for the aesthetics of doing so and the ego boost she gets from her 'fans'. And the financial reward. Even her travels are very restricted to that aesthetics, which is probably why she looks miserable and bored on half her trips. Her trips are every bit as fabricated as adventure vloggers. The difference is when the camera is off, the adventure vloggers go out and do things they enjoy. They have a life seperate from their character. Ruby just seems to hide away in her hotel room. Ruby makes real life decisions based on her aesthetics. She clearly doesn't enjoy reading and struggled to manage the workload in her last year at Exeter, necessitating multiple extensions because she couldn't meet deadlines. So what is the logical next step? A master of english lit at Oxford, of course!

 

[coldestofspirits]

@Poguely I have to admit to deep, morbid curiosity about what her inner life is actually like. Surely nothing like what she pretends…!

 

[Daredevil]

Ruby granger #41: Ruby vlogs the world, dull as dirt, no dearth

 

[VallegGirl]

Re: Recent Rube the tube's lengthy trip to Italy can someone explain why was she nervous travelling with her best friend? Am I missing something? Why was she nervous? I mean as she constantly tells us she was going with her bestest friend who she lived with whilst at Uni. She's more irritating than a gnat in a tent.