Sadly, I agree. The assignment she posted (creepy illustrations kids' book) just wasn't that good. I hate saying this because it's not easy to put your creative work out there to face scrutiny. Also, writing is an evolving process, so it doesn't make sense to expect a perfect finished product from a relative beginner at the draft stages. That said, Ruby had been working on that assignment for a while and was presumably close to submitting it? The storyline is unimaginative (at least from the extract we've seen) and the writing doesn't flow or have a good rhythm. The use of 'big words' combined with deliberate repetition and very simple storytelling makes me wonder who the audience would be. There are also some odd choices in general: ''plain Mrs Chew'' wtf? I feel sorry for this imaginary woman who has just been insulted by Roobee. That's before I even get to depacle.
Hi Tattle! I am a writer now and this is my whole identity. I no longer have a body and currently exist as a floating, omniscient fountain pen. This is the blurb of my soon-to-be-published, HIGHLY REQUASTED debut book.
Must be a young thing cause our parents wanted us out as soon as they could...even when we were teenagers with part time jobs at school they took a percentage for rent and food and bills.
No offense to your parents but I think it's crazy to charge your child for food and shelter before they turn 18?? Like how are you gonna choose to create a human and then charge them money for existing lmao
Her dad has some business at the Eiffel Tower and her mum just happens to be going that way to get croissants, so it just makes sense for them to all go together!
No disrespect but I don't see much of a point in giving your parents a percentage of your wages unless you're working to help out the family. £8/£15 is a much bigger amount for a teenager compared to an adult, so the parent taking a percentage of the money feels arbitrary to me. Surely your family are the people you can rely on without having to pay? There's such a thing as being too coddling and I think it would've been good for Ruby to have had some kind of part time job, but at the same time 17 year olds are kids. They're going to spend their whole lives working and paying rent/a mortgage anyway. There's no point in making them (as another poster said) worry about food or bills at that age.
"I was gyowing to have a pot of teaaa, bOt it's jost syo warm today, and I was MOCH more in the myood for Kombyooocha," Ruby lies, starting off her latest video with an especially blatant undeclared ad.
The question she's apparently been asked non-stop is, "What's next after graduation?" Ruby delivers her non-answer like she's an especially shitty self-help guru or a hive mind of malfunctioning robotic circuits: "It's a question we're consistently ahhhsked. We are able tyoo pot off aaahsnwering."
Ruby goes off on a manic, bug-eyed rambed that she "still doesn't knyow" what she wants to do, but there's a lot of "PRASSHURE" for people to know exactly what they want to do after graduation. "Syo many of us are in the sayme byoat with this," she says, not reading the room.
For normal people, there's pressure to know what you're doing next. Because normal people don't often have the luxury or money to wait around for their dream job to fall into their laps and have to get a fucking job quickly to pay their bills and don't live in an endless field of harvestable privilege.
People who own their own home before graduation, can live in their parents' manor for the rest of their lives, have a hoarded stash of stolen charity money and a steady stream of gifted clothes and dodgy ad cash for products they never use coming in, who can afford to just piss around in their garden acting like a child all day long? They don't know shit about pressure. YOU ARE NOT LIKE YOUR AUDIENCE, RUBY. You and the average student are not in the same boat. They're in a collapsible dinghy struggling to stay afloat. You're in a private fucking yacht, spitting over the side at the poor bastards left in your toxic wake.
It's okay to acknowledge that because of the immense privilege you have, that you don't have any real idea how most people live or any concept of the pressure they feel. You won't get burned at the stake for it. You might even reclaim a sliver of respect for it.
Ruby says it's okay if you don't have a "claaaehrr ideeehr" of what your future will look like. She doesn't, and she's JANuinely okay with that, HONESTLY! She does her now-patented one-eyed squint poker tell that she always does when she's lying. Terror consumes her now that adulthood is banging at her door like a charity wanting their money back.
"Syo I submitted my dissertation a copple of dyays agyo, and I've got to sayy, it was really anticlimacti--"
Ruby starts the next section of her video too early then interrupts herself with a blank title card.
This lazy dunce has a wide-open schedule now she's graduated and still can't put a tiny amount of time and effort into properly editing her video.
Even though she's already shown or mentioned submitting her dissertation about 16 times in the past week, she felt that we needed to see it again for some reason:
"Wahhhrd count is...EIGHT SAVVEN NOIYN SIX," she brags, looking to the camera expectantly, waiting for an applause, a parade, a handwritten letter of congratulations from Lewis Carroll's estate and a sponsorship from Waterstones as a reward for going nearly 800 words over the word count like a fucking moron.
8,000 words is the limit for Exeter's English dissertation. Most universities expect you to include all footnotes, references, etc. in your word count. Add to that the clearly atrocious state of her planning and writing for it and she's destined to fail. Just call her Roodawakening, because she's in for one.
This isn't a galaxy-themed desktop wallpaper. Those specs on the screen aren't constellations. This is just Ruby's laptop screen caked in filth, fingerprints and dust yet again. I can only assume she did a shocked spit-take several years ago when the university didn't give her a First grade for something and she just never cleaned the matcha, peas and baked bean smoothie off her screen.
Ruby rambles some more shoddily-edited nonsense.
"I reMAMBER--ENGLISH teacher SAYING TO MEE roiyt before I star--like before I lafft univarrsity that..umm...like handing in your dissertation and finishing your degree is the myost anticlimactic thing AVVER becozz you hand in your dissertation and than you leave and you're like, "Ee'yokay, wal...thahr wee gyoo, I'm don!"" (Hi, Don!)
Reading between the lines, this poor, harassed English lecturer (at least I hope it was a lecturer and Ruby's not still harassing her school teachers) was probably just warning Ruby to set her expectations for her final grade super fucking low. Subterranean low. Like, so low that her head'll poke out in Australia and some dude will be like, "You only got a Lower Second there, mate? Bloody hell... Well, that's alroite, mate. If you can drive a ute and hold a shovel and a coldie you'll be alroite in life, mate. No worries."
Ruby announces that she's going to go for a walk because she's "DAFFinitely negLACKTINGGATTING...FRASH AAHR the lahhst few days".
But first, some "conventional relaxation". Everyone else just calls this relaxation, but evidently if you're a malfunctioning Tory robot tour guide who escaped from the world's most factually-incorrect museum, you have to differentiate between "relaxation" (busywork) and "conventional relaxation" (smugly counting your Kombucha money on your dusty, dusty child's bed).
"I'm jost gonna watch some YOUUU-CHOOOB in BAD becozz oiy CANN," she says, obnoxiously.
Newsflash, Ruby: You always could. Almost every other student got their work done every week in a fraction of the time you did and then had fun, watched YouTube and lived their damn lives. And the kicker? Most of them are going to get grades equal to or better than yours. Hold the smugness until your dissertation is graded, then ask yourself if forcing yourself not to enjoy life for several years was worth it.
Also, why the hell is any of this here? This is supposed to be a sit-down life update. Other than to cram in some filler footage of Ruby showing herself bragging about non-accomplishments, why is this included?
With more smug grins, Ruby rambles some more about handing in her dissertation. Unless you're here to show your dissertation "depacle" or the disastrous grade you get for it, nobody cares.
She claims that her "headspace is SYO different" since submitting her dissertation, but this is the tell-tale voice of denial speaking with a shitty fake Hermione accent.
Ruby mentions that she's had her YouTube channel for 7 years now, and shows some old footage.
All it serves to prove is how nothing at all has changed. Aside from the haircut, her rapidly declining physical condition and her worsening accent, her content is absolutely identical.
Staring dead-eyed and joylessly into the middle-distance, scribbling away as clocks tick to try to prove that she was busy, her entire childhood and all her formative years have been completely wasted. She's squandered every opportunity she's been given. And none of that "wahhrk" will mean anything. Her degree won't open any new doors for her. She didn't enjoy it. She didn't learn anything. It was all a waste. It'd be so sad if it wasn't all completely self-inflicted and she wasn't such a terrible person.
Of course, Ruby doesn't acknowledge this in any way. She frames graduation as the culmination of an epic achievement for her, despite accomplishing nothing. She's still deep in denial, and still tries to convince everyone that she "REALLY DID ENJOY WAHHHRKING ON" her dissertation and writing about "episs-tollury theory letters", which isn't a combination of real words, let alone words that make sense combined. If you have to keep stressing in every single video that you "REALLY DYO" enjoy something, all it does is call attention to the fact that you don't.
The fact that Ruby still hasn't learned to pronounce "eh-pistol-airy" is just a microcosm of her entire life in academia; she's learned nothing and refused to grow or improve in any tiny way, even after repeatedly being corrected. She's just profoundly stupid. If a coat rack gained sentience, it'd still be smarter than Ruby and wear fewer stupid hats.
Still in detached-from-reality mode and incapable of self-reflection, Ruby claims that her dissertation was the climax of years of work and an ode to her love for letter-writing because she pretended to read Frankenstein years ago. Only Ruby doesn't seem to have written a dissertation about epistolary literature. She wrote nearly 9,000 words of drivel about gift culture and other irrelevant nonsense.
It wasn't the content of her dissertation, the work involved or the learning she had to do that was a challenge, Ruby claims - those are second nature to Ol' Rubert the Barely Functional, even though she worked on it for a year, struggled to write anything coherent, learned nothing and was floundering with it up until the last second. No, it was the "PRASSHURE" involved. Apparently the word "dissertation" is a signifier of "STRASS AND PRASSHURE AND ACKS-PACK-TAY-SHUNS" and merely hearing it will cause even the most hardened academic to cower in fear or have a nervous breakdown. Ruby talks about the word "dissertation" like it were the name "Candyman", "Beetlejuice" or "Voldemort": Don't say it out loud or it will unleash nightmarish chaos unto your degree.
"People say, "Oh...your dissertation...you'll have to write that at the end of your degree..."," Ruby says with an ominous tone. Nobody has ever said that. And if they did, it was purely instructional, not a grim portent of fucking doom. Yes, you have to write a dissertation at the end of your degree. In other news: The sky's blue and water's wet.
A dissertation is just a long essay. That's it. Ruby constantly brags about going thousands of words over the limit like it's an accomplishment, so it shouldn't have been a struggle for her. It's not some demonic academic curse-word. Ruby only had a conniption trying to write hers because she'd cheated her way through university by reverse-engineering work from other people's essays and ideas up until then and deprived her brain of growth and the opportunity to practice independent thought. When her dissertation came around, she was clueless, and that was all her fault.
After what feels like a lifetime of Ruby stressing how important a dissertation is and making a big production out of finishing hers, with multiple videos about submitting it, she finally says, "It's just a glorified ASS-ay. Oiy'm not saying it's not significant, I'm jost saying that oiy saw it as something mwoar significant than it actually was." But she says it with a dramatic eyebrow raise and glum, victimised look off to the side, as though the system set her up for failure somehow.
Reminder: Ruby ignored all instruction and sensible advice and tried to approach her dissertation like a PhD thesis, with grand expectations that it would impact future scholarship as she planned Dark Macademia adventures to archive collections to uncover lost manuscripts and research already irrelevant tangential parts of her essay. She's an idiot, and those inflated expectations and pressure were all her fault.
She keeps on rambling with some authoritarian tone about completing uni: "You suddenly have autonomy and you CAN make a decision."
Ruby rambles just the most incoherent, babbling bullshit and keeps talking about autonomy, either with no understanding of what the word means, or just no understanding of reality. To hear Ruby tell it, we all sleepwalk through school, college and university unaware of our ability to make life decisions, and it's only when we graduate from university that we become aware that we have the ability to make choices in life.
She quotes Sartre to try to prove her point, even though by her own admission, she's quoting him out of context. Sartre says that if there is no higher power dictating the path and meaning of our life, then we ourselves are responsible for finding meaning in our lives and making our own choices.
Trying desperately to sound smart and well-educated, Ruby's nonsensical babbling about "autonomy" somehow conflates academic institutions with a "higher power". She makes it sounds like when you graduate, the academic god pulling your strings is revealed to be no more than a powerless, pencil-pushing administrator and suddenly you're in control of your own destiny like Jim Carrey at the end of The Truman Show. It's a sudden rush of adventurous freedom, just as long as nobody expects Ruby to get a fucking job.
It's utter, incomprehensible madness spouted by someone who made their entire life all about academia at the expense of everything else. Again, we're not all in the same boat on this, Ruby. Almost everyone else saw university as a chance to learn things, an opportunity to grow, or the route to better career opportunities. Almost everyone else was making all their own life decisions throughout university and actually lived a life alongside it. Almost nobody was making academic their defining purpose in life and making it their entire identity. This special brand of insane stupidity is yours alone.
After 8 minutes of pointless, meandering drivel and half the video wasted, Ruby threatens to come close to a point. "What am I ackshually gyowing to dyo NAXT - what are moiy plans?"
"I have an awaahrness of my border life gyoals and values, boht NOT spassifics," she says, without realising that her first point of call should be to arrange some speech therapy sessions and re-learn the English language from scratch, as almost every word is pronounced or used wrong ("broader" becomes "border" somehow). Drunk pirates with debilitating brain injuries would be more articulate and coherent than this human mess of malapropisms and blundered speech.
It's interesting that she mentions her "values" for after graduation, as though she has an ounce of integrity left in her and hasn't spent the last few years stealing and compulsively lying at every opportunity.
And then she gets distracted again and says she's been sat there for too long and needs to change locations.
By "change lyocations", she just means "drag moiy utterly destroyed chahhr to a different corner of moiy BADroom".
Why the pointless change? Why waste people's time telling them that you're going to change locations instead of just cutting to it? Well, Ruby's a complete moron whose editing skills are worse than those of an enraged primate set loose at a laptop, just angrily slamming keys randomly with not thought or planning, flinging fecal matter (both metaphorical and literal) all over the place.
Ruby says she wants to take a gap year to get to know herself better outside of academia. Which would be a good albeit far too late plan, if she were actually planning on doing anything new or growing as a person.
"Since I was foiyve yahhrs old, moi dream was to wroiyte books for a living, so I jost want to spend a yahhr dyoing that" she says. Even though she shat out one unedited draft for sale five years ago and then gave up, despite having all the time and opportunity to write whatever she wanted, promote it and self-publish it if she desperately wanted to write.
She pays lip service to her privilege without properly acknowledging or understanding it.
"I'm in a really privileged position WHAAHR becozz of YouChoob--becozz of the people whyoo watch moiy videos, I'm in a financially stable position where I can take a yeahhr out," she says, with no mention that she was born into an immensely wealthy family of tax-dodging Tories who allow her to live rent-free in their manor home.
She then, without trace of self-awareness, compares herself to Stephen King - not in terms of quality, she stresses, but because King lived in near-poverty and had to make sacrifices to support himself/family and to make time for his writing. Only...King had to work to support himself through college. He worked afterwards to support himself while writing. In what imaginary reality is this even remotely close to Ruby, whose pampered, silver spoon existence has meant that she's never had to work a single day in her entire life and has the luxury of being able to sit on her ass for a year without worry or responsibility, writing unchecked gibberish? She's completely detached from reality.
"Wroiyting is the thing I love myost, it's the thing I love dyoing more than ANNYthing alse," she lies, rewriting history. This was the reason for the change in location, by the way: Ruby wanted to be seen in front of all the books she hasn't read as some kind of proof that she LOVES reading and is a natural-born writer.
If you love doing something more than anything else, you tend to do it more occasionally than never. Ruby has shown her "daily" routines and schedules for years, and though they're stitched together from a fabric of lies and grand exaggerations, she's not mentioned writing regularly in years. And when she did, it was relegated to a one hour or less slot in her schedule years ago.
She's had all the time and opportunity to write and the platform to market and published whatever she wanted people to pay to read. She chose to fill that time with pointless, redundant busywork instead.
She doesn't love writing any more than she loves reading or studying. It's just another time-filler affectation because she can't use academia as the sole, defining trait of her identity anymore, and this is the closest thing she could come up with. Her revisionist rewriting of history doesn't ring true. It's pure horseshit. Like Stephen King, if someone loves writing or have passion for any creative outlet, they'll find or make the time to do it alongside their other responsibilities. Ruby never did because she never cared to.
It says so much, too, that Ruby's main writing project is a YA book - a genre that she's voiced her disinterest in and dislike of so many times before. She's cynically writing to chase fame and money, not out of any passion for the craft. If she loved writing so much, she could've self-published again at any time. She never has because she wants fame and money out of it, even though ironically she'd get more money self-publishing than the notoriously poor pay that most writers earn unless they're Stephen King or JK Rowling. Ruby already thinks she'll be part of that top 1%.
She claims she's working on that YA mystery book, two other novels, short stories, and so on. There's been almost no mention of this in her vlogs and daily routines, which she swears are accurate depictions of her time, so when did all these projects happen, Ruby? And if they did, in what world is it a good idea to juggle multiple large-scale projects when you're struggling to get just one in a readable, satisfactory state for your agent to approve?
But this is a sign of Ruby's year to come. Multiple writing projects will take the place of her academic projects on her schedule of busywork. She'll give them each a rigid slot on her to-do list and flit between them mindlessly, with no joy or creative passion for any of it. It's just more time-wasting to fill her day.
Ruby mentions that she wants to spend the year writing to "built up a portfolio, experiment with different JOHN-ruz." Again, writing is the thing she claims to love more than anything else, and her entire body of work to date is Erimentha Fucking Parker. And to experiment with different genres, you have to try reading those genres, which we know Ruby isn't going to do.
But hey, writing isn't the only joyless shit she'll do this year to try to craft a new superficial persona for herself! She also plans to travel.
Firstly, she wants to visit the homes of her "favourite authors" (translation: "respected authors whose work Ruby hasn't read, much less understood"), like "AMMily Dickinson", "Nah-THANE-nyul Hawthorne" and "Hay-Herman Melville". You can tell they're JANuinely her favourite authors by how correctly she pronounces their names.
And then she'll do a Masters after that, she claims.
Then she gets bored of pretending she reads or has a personality that isn't completely fabricated, so she announces another change of locations. Why? Who the fuck knows, but she shows no less than 4 different different shots of her journey to the garden, for some reason:
Reminder: Ruby does not have multiple cameras set up in her kitchen and yard. She relocated the camera several times to film herself walking past and then had to return to get the camera. Why would anyone do this when they can just cut to a new location. What is wrong with her brain? Why are her shorts so gigantic? Just why?
In her garden, sat on rusty furniture, she makes a point to say how beautiful that birdsong is on this day... The birds chirping is suspiciously clear even as Ruby's voice is barely audible. Even more suspicious, the sounds of the birds overlaps the cut between camera angles, so it was added afterwards.
Back in January, Ruby filmed herself recording birdsong:
There was another video around that time where she was leaning stupidly far out the window to do the same thing. She never explained what it was for.
Has she just been slapping fake, pre-recorded ambient audio over videos? And if so, why do they still all sound like imploding ass?
She said she was coming out here to do a Q&A, but then she pulls out crafting supplies and says she's going to write a "LATTER". Why? Why is this included? This isn't a vlog, Ruby. Just tell people what your plans are for the next year and then retreat back into your childhood cavern of dust and bronchitis.
She says she had lots of questions on Instagram, but then doesn't show them. Instead she just slaps up footage of her scrolling her Instagram grid and watching her own reels for some reason. It's like narcissistic Inception.
She hilariously skips past a reel of her declaring a Perkier bar ad as gifted, which is funny since for 6 months+ after that, she shoehorned underclared ads for them everywhere she could while conveniently neglecting to mention that brand relationship.
Q: "Will you keep making YouTube videos?" Ruby's Answer: "I dyon't knyow if I can imagine myaking YouChoob videos foravvar, but I REALLY enjoy maykying them and cahhhn't imagine stopping anytoiyme syoon. My content will change to accommodate what oiy'm dyooing" Actual Answer: "I hate making videos and have no content ideas. However, I will ride YouTube into the fucking ground until either it stops generating money and questionable opportunities for sponsorships or I drop dead, whichever happens first. All my future content will be indistinguishable from the past 7 years of low-effort, creatively barren videos, only the nature of the lies I tell might change."
Q: "Will you move to London?" Ruby's Answer: "Nyo, I wyon't. I lived in AXATAR, which is a small citee, and I still didn't really loiyke living in a citee." Actual Answer: "My mummy doesn't live in London, why would I move there? I did spend a few weeks in Exeter over the past four years, so as you can see, I have been VARRY independent."
Q: "Are you moving out?" Ruby's Answer: "I AM gyowing to be living with my parents for the naxt yeahhr--"
At this point, Ruby interrupts herself to say that her camera ran out. She definitely didn't throw a tantrum at the idea that she cut the umbilical cord already and move out, possibly to the cottage she bought. Also, you know what prevents cameras from "running out" mid-sentence? Check them beforehand and don't waste footage by recording your journey through your garden of tetanus.
She also wanted an excuse to show off some more gifted, undeclared Kombucha.
Ruby's Answer: "Yahh, rilly privileged position because my parents are happy for me tyoo bee staying at hyome AND...OIY...really WANT to stay at hyome, like, I enjoy being with my parents. I've always been a STAUNCH REPONENT of, y'kyow, koiyd of...'dyo what waaahrks for yoo, dyoo what's basst for yoo'. Syo...even if it's unconventional, I'm still gyowing to be living with my parents naxt yearhrhr." Actual Answer: "I don't want to grow up. Being at home makes me feel more like a child. Here I can replace my adult bed with that of a child. I wear child's clothes. I can eat baby food. I can read exclusively children's books. This bubble of childish fantasy reminds me of the time when I was young and people told me I was gifted because I asked for more homework once. But since then, I've been reminded at every turn that I'm not special or talented in any real way. I'm not even average. I'm stupider than all the poor people I looked down on who went out and partied as teenagers. It's not fair. And so I'm going to keep doing this for as long as I can, until the burden of my presence and childish, tantrum-throwing entitlement tears my parents apart. I don't care if my physical and mental health rapidly deteriorate every time I'm home as I starve myself in an effort to look like a prepubescent Victorian girl."
Q: Are you planning on travelling? Ruby's Answer: "YASS, I'm planning on gyowing to Amarricka for a bit ANDDD I want to dyo a little bit of syo-lyo travelling Europp az wal, just a little bit. I want to gyo to literary lyocations and wroiyting retreats." Actual Answer: "I have a lot of stolen charity money left to pay for all the holidays I want. My mummy and daddy will take me, if they know what's good for them. One on of these holidays, I might walk around the block by myself and claim this was a solo trip. I have to make sure I'm seen writing in public at least once. This is like studying in coffee shops: I need to be witnessed pretending to be smart, diligent and talented by the unwashed masses that I despise."
Q: "How do you schedule a day now that university is over?" Ruby's Answer: "[Nonsensical ramble about finding purpose and meaning in something else to replace studying] I'm not sticking tyoo a rigid toiymetable." Actual Answer: "I'm sticking to a rigid timetable. It's still just endless busywork. I don't enjoy any of it and I should be spending my free time finding something that I actually enjoy. Oh well, lies and busywork it is!"
Q: "How is your book going?" Ruby's Answer: "After talking with moiy agent agann, WE said that is needs mwoarr waaahrk. I've written a lot of drafts, but I DON'T WANT to publish it until I'm happy with it. I don't want to write a bad book." Actual Answer: "I wrote a bad book. Yes, another one. I want you to forget about Erimentha Parker. Erimentha Parker doesn't exist. But this new book is bad, too. I'd happily publish it right now without editing a single sentence, but my agent keeps saying a collection of gibberish words strung together in nonsensical combinations won't sell. I keep throwing tantrums, but it doesn't seem to be working so far. Every time I submit a new draft, she keeps finding new things wrong with it. It's almost like I have no talent. But I don't get it! All the books I stole from while writing this book were bestsellers, so surely all those parts combined should equal a MEGA-BESTSELLER! I think my agent must be the problem, it definitely can't be me. Also, remember when I typed that psychotic motivational rant in Notion and claimed I'm never rely on YouTube to promote and sell my book? Anyway."
Q: "What's your definition of success?" Ruby's Answer: ""WHAT is yourr DAFFINTION of SOCKSASS?" I think gyoals to a sarrtan axe-tant are arbitrary. It's this hyole thing of delaying happiness. For me, success is tied to happiness and fulfilment ANDD happiness and fulfilment WITHREGARDSTOPRODOCKTIVITEE can only comm when you're enjoying that pro-sass." Actual Answer: "GRADESGRADESGRADES! MONEYMONEYMONEY! PRAISEPRAISEPRAISE! But I don't want to have to work for any of it."
Q: "Will academia still be a part of your life?" Ruby's Answer: "MYOST DAFFINITELY ABSOLYOOTELEE SYO! Bot oiy'm gyowing to axe-pand "academia" tyoo refarr tyoo addyucaytion and laahrning...(You heard it here, folks: Academia doesn't already refer to education and learning)...I DAFFINITELY want to be laahrning nyoo things AND I cyan't imagine that not being a part of moiy life jost becoz I love lahrrning syo moch." Actual Answer: "I haven't learned anything yet, I'm not about to fucking start now! What are you, crazy? I'm definitely going to keep trying my best to pretend to be smart, though."
Q: "Will you be learning to drive?" Ruby's Answer: "YASS! I didn't laahrn to droiyve whan I was savventeen bot I did want to lahhrn just before the pan-dammic. But now I want to laahrn because it will give me syo moch myore autonomy and indepanndance." Actual Answer: "FUCK NOOO. Driving is for adults. I'm not doing that shit. Sitting in the back seat while mummy and daddy drive me everywhere is much more conducive to a child-like lifestyle. Besides, would you want someone with my dwindling mental capacity and non-existent attention span behind the wheel of a car? I'm distracted by every cloud I see! If I do that on the road, an entire pavement-full of pedestrians are dead, and I'm not sure even daddy's swindled tax money can buy my way out of that one. I may buy a child's tricycle, but only if it's a vintage Victorian once."
Q: "Is growing up as scary as it seems?" Ruby's Answer: "NYO! IT'S NYOT! Growing up was always my biggest feahrr and than it happened and it was nyot what oiy'd baked it up to be. It was syo much easier than I thought, and oiy'm ecks-soyted to bee the age that oiy amm." Actual answer:
Q: "Why didn't you choose to do a masters straight from university?" Ruby's Answer: "I felt like I wanted some space from academics." Actual Answer: "My dissertation gave me a small taste of what adult education is like when I can't cheat. I don't like feeling that stupid. No thankyou, please. And if I can't go to Oxford, I'm just not interested."
Q: "What are you most excited for this summer?" Ruby's Answer: "My parents are taking me to Italy! I've wanted tyoo gyo avver since I rad Call Me Boiy Your Nayme in TWANTY TWANTY." Actual Answer: "My parents are taking me to Italy! I've wanted to go ever since I pretended to read Call Me By Your Name in 2020."
And then she films herself writing a letter for some reason. But you can still hear birdsong loudly and clearly even though her windows are closed. She added the birdsong audio over the footage without adjusting the volume levels, so it just sounds like there's wild birds loose in her house.
I hereby nominate ”What a depacle!” as our next thread title
She’s such an idiot, I can’t
The plot of her picture book:
- a middle-aged man named Chris has a sock filled with presents
- he reaches into the sock and something feels squishy, so he gets all excited
- but it’s a shoe, which he doesn’t like, because while a squishy sock is doubleplusgood, a squishy shoe is not
- an ugly woman comes down the lane and makes horse sounds because an animal has shat on her shoes
- Chris gives her the shoe
- ???
- profit
Ruby's parents: *spend literally tens of thousands of pounds in fees so that little Ruby can attend a posh private school where students are given a multitude of extracurricular activities to choose from and are encouraged to engage in them so they become well-rounded people*
Ruby: And anyway students are expected to do things besides studying and that is why our educational system is syo syo bad
She's not just an airhead, she's also really ungrateful for the opportunities and the education she's been given.
I was 17 when I got my first job of 28 quid a week (1977) I paid my parents 8 quid a week . Then when I left and got a better job on 55 a week I paid them 15. Taught me you can't go through life not paying your way. I did the same with my daughter and she has a healthy respect for money as well.
No disrespect but I don't see much of a point in giving your parents a percentage of your wages unless you're working to help out the family. £8/£15 is a much bigger amount for a teenager compared to an adult, so the parent taking a percentage of the money feels arbitrary to me. Surely your family are the people you can rely on without having to pay? There's such a thing as being too coddling and I think it would've been good for Ruby to have had some kind of part time job, but at the same time 17 year olds are kids. They're going to spend their whole lives working and paying rent/a mortgage anyway. There's no point in making them (as another poster said) worry about food or bills at that age.
Did anyone see the description of her latest video? She is really set on changing the tune of her channel...
Also, this video was a mess. Besides how badly edited it was, the timeline was all over the place. First she shows herself submitting the dissertation and checking that off of her "tasks" (which were all filled out) and then she shows herself doing references for her critical essay which was just a second ago marked as already submitted? And when she shows her tasks again, lo and behold, her diss and the majority of other tasks are nowhere near marked-as-completed. How hard is it to make it logical for your still-conscious viewers, Roobert? I mean, all this expensive education and she still can't be arsed to put together a main idea wheel for her videos. Your "last vlog as a student", you say? Good. With all that studying, it still seems like you didn't learn much anyway.
"Now I'm finishing my four year degree" - not quite, Ruby, you're finishing your three year degree after you switched from a different course. No shame in that, I dropped out of my first course (like actually dropped out) but stop sugarcoating. It's fine not to be perfect.
"AFFIRMATIONS: I AM A PARISIAN. MY MAIN GOAL IS TO BE A PARISIAN. EVERYTHING ELSE COMES SECOND (including YouTube, which I cannot and will not rely on to become a Parisian; I just won't let myself do this) PARLEZ AS MUCH FRANCAIS AS I CAN AND WEAR AS MANY BERETS AS I CAN AND JUST DON'T GIVE UP. PUT A BAGUETTE IN YOUR BICYCLE'S BASKET AND JUST GET EXPERIENCE BEING PARISIAN. AND THIS SHOULD BE THE WHOLE FOCUS OF YOUR GAP YEAR. BECOME A PARISIAN. MAKE THAT YOUR IDENTITY. THAT IS MY IDENTITY."
Ruby is quite problematic but I don't understand why y'all criticise her for not drinking, not enjoying clubbing, not desiring many friends etc.
Drinking, drug-taking, partying aren't innately good activities
Long time lurker here. I used to watch Ruby Granger a lot before and during my gcse years and pretty much idolised her. As an impressionable young audience I was thoroughly convinced that I needed to do what she did to succeed at school which resulted in me emulating many of her nonsensical things like the 15hr studyrathon (and I’d always crash before I hit 10 hrs lol, surprise surprise . I was also convinced that I was not entitled to say how much I like books because I could not read as fast as she could. It was not solely due to the impacts of her videos but I started having anxiety problems and v low self esteem after I finished my gcses. I changed my approach to studying during sixth form as part of my strategies to improve my mental health. I got rid of all the fancy list-making and aesthetics and stuff and only used 1 black pen to take notes which was way more efficient for me, I also stopped measuring my progress using the number of hours but used outcomes instead. I deffo worked nowhere near 15hrs a day lol and took a lot of time off during weekends. My notes were not aesthetically pleasing but they were concise and most importantly they worked for me. I ended up getting straight A*s and am now studying at Cambridge. I stopped watching ruby and would hate to be mean to anyone but I was a living example of how her obsession with productivity and advice-giving and aesthetics could potentially have quite negative impacts on her audience. Studying is not a one-size-fits-all kinda thing and you don’t need to go to the extremes just to be productive. sorry about the long rant :///
"I've OFFICIALLY decided that there's NOTHING more fun than wearing a cloak" - An actual thing said by Ruby today without a trace of irony.
Cancel your holidays, dump your friends, cut ties with your significant other, scrap your streaming services, burn your books, give up on that creative project you've been working on, shred your theatre tickets, avoid that gig you've been looking forward to, text your parents that you're not going to go play mini golf for your sibling's birthday, tell Kate from the office that the work party is dead, flush your phone down the toilet, destroy your games console, smash your TV, and never, ever go to the cinema.
The old ways are dead. It's official: There's nothing more fun than wearing a cape.
Confirmation that all those blatant Kombucha show-off sections in her videos were undeclared ads.
Translation: "I threw a tantrum until my parents paid me AX-tra attANtion a few days aarly because AVvery day should be all about me!"
Why the fuck would anyone's parents give their kid their birthday card 3 days early? She ain't going anywhere. She'll be attached to her parents like a parasitic barnacle until the day they all die in a fire she started.
I also totally thought she was wearing a tiny boater hat in that photo.
That's before I even get to depacle.
