gossip_guy
VIP Member
Remind me what month it is? It's January 2022, right? Okay, cool. Just checking. Because if you're exposed to Ruby's videos too often, between her stagnating life and lack of general progress in anything and her very loose grasp of how time works, it's easy to get confused.
I mean, take this video, for instance:
That was uploaded six months ago and filmed months prior to that.
In it, we're treated to the unfathomable stupidity of Ruby desperately trying to come up with ideas for her dissertation and failing miserably. This isn't helped by her...shall we say...unusual method of making a "dark academia aesthetic" the focal point of her dissertation so that she can really enjoy it. No, "unusual" isn't the right term. Utterly fucking moronic is more fitting.
And here we are, over half a year later and nothing has changed.
"I'm gonna call it 'The Dissertation Diaries'," Ruby says, even though that's not what she called it. She went with the title 'The Dissertation Diary (entry one)', showing she still struggles with something as basic as how and when to use capital letters properly and consistently. A good sign for a final year English Literature student planning their dissertation!
She went with the singular usage of 'diary', because let's face it, she'll give up on this shit after one entry.
"The dissertation allows us tyoo fully commit ourselves tyoo studying, lahrning, resaarching something that we're interASTed in?" Ruby says. Ruby isn't actually interested in anything but taking money from charities, pretending to be 12 years old and compulsively lying, which drastically limits her thesis options for an English Lit dissertation, which explains why she's still struggling.
It's in her desperation that she's forced to try new things, like being honest.
I know, I know! I was surprised, too!
Ruby admits to having made no progress since that last dissertation video she made. She also claims she filmed the video "back in the summer", even though it was filmed in spring and sat on her hard drive for months so Ruby could upload it as a "new" video to fill a content drought and obfuscate her drastic weight loss by mixing old and new footage. So she hasn't fully quit lying, but at least she's dipped her toe in an honesty puddle, I guess.
She says she's submitted a proposal and been assigned a dissertation tutor. "BAHHT!" she adds, she's still in two minds about what she wants to write about. She settled on Lewis Carroll's letters for her proposal but now really thinks she maybe wants to do Emily Dickinson's letters instead.
She says she settled on Carroll's letters following a chat with one of her tutors at the time, and because they're "syo inTRASTing" and there's "syo little written about them". She decided not to write about Dickinson's letters primarily because there is so much written already about then.
This is not a good decision for Ruby, of course. She wants to receive praise for bringing something new and original to the academic world concerning Lewis Carroll's letters and is clearly aiming unrealistically for a publishable dissertation. But she needs the opinions and work of other people to prop her up and provide material to cannibalise for her own essays. A dearth of content to steal from does her no favours, because she's incapable of forming insightful or even coherent ideas of her own, hence the crisis of faith.
To help make up her mind, she's going to rehash the questionable research she's already done and narrow down the Carroll letters she wants to focus on if she does "CHEESE" it as a dissertation. "CHOOSE", Ruby. Those circular letters are 'O's. They go "ooooh". That's that sound you make when you see charity money.
If she gets bored of researching, she says, she'll switch to "Ammily Dickinson". This is an unmitigated disaster of planning and preparation and showcases no common sense.
So far she's rambled about how excited she is about letters but has at not point offered up anything resembling a structured topic for her dissertation whichever author she "cheeses". It's just 'Lewis Carroll's Letters: A Dark Academia Dissertation by Princess Ruberculosis Philomopoles Constantinople "Granger"'.
She has to turn her clock around as it's facing out the window, so that the postman can see what time it is when he drops off all the zero replies to Ruby's letters, and be very impressed that Ruby is sat diligently at her laptop while time continues to move forward.
"It's COINDLY...QUARTER TO TAN," she says, and I have no idea if she was trying to say "currently" and failing worse than anyone ever has, or if she was trying to say "kindly", as though the clock she manually adjusted to make it seem earlier than it is granted her an additional few hours out of kindness. Either way, she butchers the word/s mercilessly. Her brain is sludge.
She can't even form sentences and somehow believes that she'll spend this morning tracking down the original manuscripts for Lewis Carroll's letters. What for? Who knows.
Ruby, this is your latest reminder that the body requires nutrients for the brain to function.
(This picture provides us with a visual metaphor for Ruby's brain: The lights are on and time's ticking away, but nobody's home.)
She points the clock at the camera again for some reason, and then spends half the time-lapse footage wandering her room aimlessly, or just dips out entirely. So productive!
After flicking through the book of Carroll's letters that she already has on her desk, eliminating the redundant need for manuscripts, she dog-ears pages, takes photos of pages and then gives up. She's earned a tea break, apparently.
Though a substantial breakfast would help her stagnant puddle of a brain, she elects to fill up on tea instead, treating us to a view of her nasty, unclean kitchen and kettle.
There's a spattered backsplash of god-knows-what all over everywhere, there's dirty stains all over the kettle and the sink basin is caked in unidentified detritus.
The kitchen counter is sprinkled with filth. Old crumbs and chunks of bread litter the surface. Grime fills every crevice. It's hard to tell with the warped angle of the glass, but there appears to be something in the bottom of her glass teapot.
It's pure squalor.
But we're not done yet!
Ruby pours tea into an unclean cup with has bits of filth in the bottom. I'll optimistically assume it's old tea leaf bits, but even then it's nasty.
She's also assembled a "breakfast" of a few grapes. That'll surely help the defective, malnourished brain situation!
We also see from the planner on display that this footage was filmed two weeks ago on Wednesday 19th January.
Ruby brings a baby-sized milk jar with her to add to her tea, only there's a long strand of white hair trailing out of the lid...
In the tiniest font ever, for a split-second, Ruby displays a note on-screen: "yes, there is a hair on the bottle which is slightly digusting haha"
Ahh, living in a swamp and displaying no sense of basic hygience - so funny and quirky, haha! Ruby notes that the hair on the bottle is "slightly disgusting", but all the other nightmarish, squalid filth we just witnessed and see from her on a regular basis is all fine and not worthy of mentioning. Commonplace stuff!
"earl grey *has* to be served with milk!" Ruby the Tea Police offers up a mandate, but mentions nothing about tea being served with a helping of leftover cup-filth and hair follicle additives as she pours the milk with the hair draping into her tea.
Why was this footage even included? What does making tea have to do with her dissertation? Ruby, you can cut things like this, especially when they make you look like a complete swamp troll, living in endless grungy mess. It is not "aesthetic".
Ruby has gone through her book of Carroll letters and "nyoted" (in "Nyotion", OF COURSE) the ones that interest her. The fascinating topics of insight for her include Lewis Carroll wanting people to spell his name correctly in letters addressed directly to him. Definitely worth planning a dissertation around!
This page was created/written on December 20th, so who knows what day this is supposed to be at this point.
Ruby has taken a book titled 'The Letters of Lewis Carroll' out from the library.
"It's got a...thingattheback WHAAAHR it says WAAAHR Cohen found all these letters." Ruby is hoping to track down all the physical locations or online archives of 4,000 of Carroll's letters (and she claims she's aiming to do this in less than two hours, showing that she has no concept of reality).
Why do you need that knowledge, Ruby? Infinitely smarter and more thorough people than you have done much more exhaustive legwork than you ever could to find and compile these original letters.
The smart thing for you to do would be to use the benefit of their work for your convenience. You have all the letters readily available and easily accessible.
What value or added information does finding the original contribute to your undergraduate dissertation, other than the superficial silliness of you acting out your dark academia library exploration adventures? The answer is: None.
I can't see any supervising tutor recommending or encouraging this nonsense. Ruby still has yet to explain why she's so obsessed with finding manuscripts or what she believes it will tangibly add to her dissertation. It's just dumb, needless busywork to make her feel like she's actually doing something productive and not completely floundering with no ideas.
Ruby subjects us to more timelapse footage of her gormlessly glaring at her laptop while Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy plays for the 676,747,893,415th time, because we haven't suffered enough, and it's not just her dissertation that Ruby's bereft of ideas for.
She forgets to point her clock at the screen to prove whatever she thinks she's trying to prove, so that magically appears at the tail-end of the footage.
Ruby explains that she's been unable to find the group of letters she wants to write about because they were sold at auction to an anonymous buyer in 1991. There aren't full manuscript scans, but there are full transcripts and partial scans of the original letters available online. Even though everything Ruby needs is available, she's intent on wasting more time trying to track down the originals.
At this point, it's abundantly clear that Ruby has no clue what the fuck she's doing. She's placed all her dissertation hopes on some wild, pie-in-the-sky dream of becoming a historical detective and being the first person to scan and document Carroll's full letter manuscripts.
Ruby is incompetent in all things. Even if in some magical alternate reality she found and came into possession of these, they'd be destroyed by the stupidity and lack of care she shows in all things. Carroll's letters would be covered in grime, dead flies and inky fingerprints. Ruby would annotate directly onto them with highlighter and pen. She'd spill something on them or burn them and would attempt to recreate them, and it'd be the literature equivalent of this:
In a dubious turn of events, in just half an hour, Ruby has tracked down one manuscript, contacted and spoken with "the people she needs to contact" and located it in Surrey. So with just three months to finish this dissertation and zero progress made, along with all the other work she's constantly behind on, she's proposing a 6 hour round trip to Surrey at some point to waste a day (for herself and her parents, who will be forced to chauffeur her, no doubt) for no reason.
For her "accomplishment", she's rewarded herself with "lunch":
Some sweets, what appears to be a sandwich make of a rice cracker, a very thin smear of peanut butter and a sliver of pita bread, with a cracker and some carrot shavings on the side.
Ruby simply will not stop showing this shit on-screen, no matter how irresponsible and stupid it is or how many times she's asked not to.
THIS IS NOT FOOD, RUBY. An influencer like yourself parading your obvious eating disorder on-screen and offering it up as something to emulate is unfathomably stupid and dangerous.
If you're not willing to get help, that's your choice, but don't inflict this shit on your viewers, you pondscum.
Note the white nail polish. We'll circle back to this later.
After a little more deja-vu timelapse footage, Ruby interrupts for one of her obligatory undeclared ad segments:
The placement and regularity of these snack bar interruptions is so blatant and obvious that I have no doubt that they were gifted.
Ruby has done this before with Perkier bars - shown them as undeclared ads despite being gifted them.
If you were in any doubt, those nu+cao snack bars are £2 a bar. Even someone as irresponsible with her disposable money as Ruby isn't going to pay £2 for a tiny bar from a no-brand company.
The company that makes them also follows a suspicious selection of Sixteenth talent.
These were clearly gifted and this is an undeclared ad.
After a jarring detour into Ruby's ditch of shady undeclared advertisements, we're back on the winding, road of stupidity.
"Then HYAAAHR I was creatinggg a toiymloin of EPPISS-TOLLURY novels using Genia Lee!"
Ruby inserts another ad. She mispronounces "epistolary". She mispronounces the sponsor name by inserting weird pauses with her cringeworthy Emma Watson affectations and "Genially" becomes "Genia LEE!" and Ruby's made them sound like a company that sells low-cal frozen foods. She does not include the sponsor name on-screen to clear things up, because in her mind she hasn't done anything incorrectly.
I guess Genially is some kind of timetable template service. Ruby doesn't explain it well, and the whole idea seems ultimately pointless, since many other programs (which Ruby already claims to use) do this already and much, much more.
I'm not sure who would need this aside from pre-university students tossing together a last-minute presentation handout to make it seem like they'd done more work than they had (which, realistically, is Ruby's headspace all over). And, again, other programs do that already.
"It's really great because it means you can have something really proFASHional and not have to spend very long doing it."
Ruby chooses this point to slap a camcorder overlay on her videos, to show that she usually spends not very long making her videos look as unprofessional as possible.
Ruby wants to make her timeline interactive, for some reason, because she has the mind of a child and if things aren't popping out, making noises or flashing colourful lights at her, she quickly loses interest. Reminder: This is for a dissertation. Her tutor will not be looking at any interactive online timelines. Who is this for? Why is she wasting time on this?! It's yet another system for superficial busywork in a life filled with it.
She rambles for a while about how you can add "BAHTUNS" (buttons) and it's a flashback to that time she made an entire Notion video in which she droned on about "toggles".
So, remember that nail polish?
Her nails magically become unpainted and dirty.
How'd that happen, Ruby?
An outfit change occurs, in which her nails appear painted, albeit a paler, lighter coat.
She claims she created a timeline presentation straight after her dissertation research time-wasting extravaganza and then had a lecture for her dissertation so went to the library beforehand.
Then there's another outfit change as Ruby wanders the library in search of the second volume of the book she loaned before, but is incapable of figuring out how library organisation systems work.
Her nails have spontaneously regrown their thick coat of white paint:
After Exeter University and Ruby come the focal point for a strange temporal phenomenon that causes time to run non-linearly, it's time for a new day.
She starts this day with tea (OF COURSE) and the kettle somehow looks even grimier than before. She fills a cup, spilling hot water everywhere.
Then, more timelapse footage of clocks.
Ruby blurs out the bottom right of the screen - evidently she had something incriminating on display in the background.
She says she's spent the morning working on her dissertation by emailing Rugby School to enquire about their manuscript archives. Rugby is halfway up the country from Exeter. Basically, Ruby wasted another morning on shit that won't benefit her in any way.
Then, yet more timelapse footage! 80% of her videos are timelapse footage of clocks now.
Ruby neglects to put the date on her timetable to help obscure her lies about the timescales of the video.
She's not too careful though, as the time on her laptop lock screen shows that it's magically gone from around 10:30am to nearly 5pm:
Visibile on her homescreen to-do list is "personal goal: always have painting nails", which is a silly, superficial "goal" that's impossible to complete and especially ironic considering unpainted nails are so often the evidence of her video timescale lies. Plus, she immediately goes on to show her nails chipped, messy and covered inside and out in ink:
Ruby changes and goes for a walk to the Tory grocery mecca of Waitrose and films herself walking like a moron once again:
According to TimeandDate.com, the time of sunset in Exeter on the alleged day in question (20th January) was 16:45pm. Why's it still light outside, Ruby?
She subjects us to another of those random clips of her awkwardly baring her teeth to "eat" something like an alien wearing a human body for the first time and trying to figure out how chewing works.
Why does she think that people want to see this?
Back at her desk, Ruby says she's going to whip out her old year 7 standby technique of a mind map to help her figure out what the fuck she's doing with her directionless disaster of a dissertation. One of the important components, she says, is how her dissertation will "help future scholarship".
Ruby, you fucking donut, just focus on trying to write something that your dissertation tutor can read and understand. You are in no way, shape or form going to be able to deliver a dissertation of publishable quality that future scholars cite and look upon in awe.
This is like saying "My goal is to win the Pulitzer with my writing!" when you have zero idea and can't even come up with a title.
Again, she's been struggling for a whole year and has gotten no further than a vague, barely-relevant topic and she's still wasting all her time with meaningless busywork like timetables, mind maps and daydream academia detective adventures. This dissertation is a disaster.
Ummm, hey, Rubes? How did it get to be 11:37am again?
Ruby annotates and doodles all over a scanned version of a letter, offering such earth-shattering insight as noting that a letter was addressed "dearest", not just "dear", or that a short letter is referred to as "a little note". How will academia be able to compete once Ruby unleashes such incisive explorations of literature into the world?! Pack it up, professors - Ruby's coming for your careers!
Ruby goes to Boston Tea Party to take up a whole table to herself at 14:50, purely so that people can witness the majesty of her pretending to study in a non-academic public place. She's not like other students.
She writes yet another letter for someone to be unable to decipher and never reply to.
She blurs out some faces in the background but not all of them, for some reason.
And that's it for this latest glimpse into the mind of a flailing, lying, malnourished moron who still owes several charities money and has yet to prove that she's paid them a single penny of any of it.
Last edited:
