Rhi, Mummy of Four #3

[a_bit_miffed]

Well, I encountered this Rhi at Disneyland Paris. I am not a big YouTube fan and I'm not a user of this forum but the experience has led me to add my tuppence-worth.

What can I say that hasn't been said already. I very much believe in each to their own as a matter of course and I am worried that I am going to end up sounding like a troll but I was not impressed by what I saw.

OK, it may well be that her blog has helped people in all sorts of ways and I have always suspected that people who share their lives with the world are also engaging in some form of therapy to help themselves with some form of mental health issues. Influencers are either:
a) People looking to monetise their talents (fair play)
b) People who have always dreamed of fame and can now realise their dreams in the internet age
c) People who have too much money/and or time on their hands
d) People who need help

Where I become exceptionally uncomfortable is when children are brought onto social media. I am keen to avoid putting my kids online. They can do so when they are old enough and I suspect that they will not thank me if I share every funny anecdote and embarrassing photo with the world. They have a right to childhood.

Of course, if someone puts their kids all over the web, that is presumably their business. I assume that their kids have consented (can they give informed consent?) but how will they feel when they look back over all this, including all the comments about their parents on forums such as this?

As someone who works with children and has a safeguarding responsibility I find that kind of activity - having your children's lives and medical issues etc plastered all over the web - slightly worrying. It would be overly dramatic and wrong to call that abuse but there probably is some form of word for it. From my perspective it is ill-advised. Still if that's what it takes to put bread on the table, so be it.

My irritation was the way that this filming was being done in Disneyland Paris last week. It got in the way. The place is full of people taking photos, selfies and videos etc and that's all fine but when someone decides to set up their amateur filming in the middle of a public place, it is very annoying and now I have to worry about whether my child is going to get caught up in this amateur filming.

If a film crew turns up to film, they put up signs, they apologise for inconvenience etc but when influencers appear they just set up and film whatever they want and when it gets in the way of your own children you find it annoying.

There's something unusual about watching someone filming themselves as though they are Alan Whicker and then filming their own children knowing that this will go on the web. Each to their own.

I couldn't help but wonder what Mr Rhi was thinking as he sat back and watched all this happening. Is he happy that his kids are plastered all over the web and that his wife discusses them on the web? I'm not always an excellent judge but it looked as though he didn't love it. Personally I'd absolutely hate it and would be looking for the exit but then I guess that just becomes an opportunity for Mrs Rhi to set up as Single Mummy of Four and attract a whole new crowd of subscribers.

Look, each to their own. If you can make money off this internet thing, fair enough, but will your children really thank you for monetising them and having them live out their formative years as guinea pigs of your parenting? It's one thing to expose them to fame as child actors or models etc. That's questionable enough but when their online existence is because of your 'talent' as a parent rather than theirs, that's a more worrying issue. Indeed if the whole premise of being online is to tout how wonderful a parent you are and to share your tips with others, I would argue that you have fallen at the first hurdle. Putting your kids online is exceptionally questionable parenting.

Of course this is all just shouting at the sky. This forum is probably not read by the vlogger concerned or, if it is, it has been discredited by her. Several thousand subscribers can't be wrong or something like that.

Go on, live your life, use your family as you see fit but please keep out of my kids' way and do not point one of your lenses at my children.

 

[jadakizz]

A few days ago while at the pool I watched a young Mama and her little daughter enter the pool area dressed in very nice coordinating swimming suits. The mom, with her perfect loose curls tied up in a coordinating scarf, spent the first few minutes talking loudly on her phone to a friend while her daughter stood waiting to get into the pool. Mom ended the phone call and proceeded to spread out pool toys and sunscreen on a matching towel. Then after finding just the right angle and the right light, Mama pulled out her tripod and took a few selfies with her daughter. Little One asked to get in the pool. Mama said wait and then posed her daughter in front the pool, then going in to the pool and then coming back out of the pool. Little one smiled big and said "cheese" like she'd done it a million times. Then Mama told her she could play. Little One walked in and swam around for a couple of minutes. Mama called a friend on her phone and began another conversation while Little One politely and repeatedly asked "Mama, can you come in the water with me, please?" She was ignored. "Mama, come play with me?" she asked 4 more times. Mama glanced over at her but never got off the phone. After 10 minutes Mama ended her call, collected the sunscreen that was never applied, the water toys that never touched the water, and then her daughter and left the pool.

I sat there thinking about what I'd witnessed for awhile afterwards. I imagined the photos she took being perfectly edited and posted to social media with a caption like "Pool time with my girly! #Makingmemories".

Somewhere another Mama is going to be at home with her children, the house a mess from their play, her hair unruly from a day of mothering and her clothes dirty with spit up or peanut butter. She's going to be tired because she's spent her day cooking, caring, cleaning and playing with her children. She's going to look at that photo and she is going to compare herself to the perfect Mama at the pool. The Adversary is going to whisper into her ear "you aren't good enough... You don't look like that Mama at the pool... You don't have money to buy expensive swimming suits like that and you don't have time to make memories like she is" and that young Mama is going to believe it. She's going to feel like a failure. She'll never know that how she spent her time that day was so much better in her children's eyes than that "perfect Mama" at the pool.

What we see on Social Media isn't always real. Sometimes and often it's a complete set-up. It's staged and filtered and it's counterfeit.

Sometimes we do see absolutely real photos of vacations and beautiful homes and freshly done hair but it's only ONE moment. It's the very best moment out of a whole day spent much like our own. Working, cleaning, and messes...

Mamas, don't compare yourself. You ARE enough! You are amazing and the very best part is that you are REAL! Your dirty shirt and your messy house and your happy children are real and they are proof that you are doing it right!

I posted the above as I saw it on FB and it reminded me of this thread and how Rhi stages her kids

 

[havesomeclassReb]

How absolutely disgusting. There wasn’t even a warning. Who wants to see that, but aside from that, her poor children, sort yourself out Rhi, what the hell is going on, do you not think you share more than enough of their privacy? You’ve gone too far this time, awful. These are your children, do not humiliate them like this. You are supposed to cherish and protect them. Absolutely disgusting.

 

[sleepysocks]

Barely left and she’s turning his room into a ’multifunctional space’ / playroom for the children because the house is too small for them to keep his room as his room. What a way to make you feel like you can’t come home / change your mind / have a space at ‘home’. Uni is great, but it’s not home, it’s very much temporary. She’s so weird.

 

[Ziggzaggz]

Yes, I have heard her speak to the headmaster of the school like it

 

[Sofasurfer]

Clickbaiting your own child’s diagnosis - disgusting

 

[Ziggzaggz]

So Bella's class was selling stuff today, class photo of them put on social media, have to laugh Bella's face has a flower smiley put on it to disguise her, Rhi not happy for the school to use her kids photos yet plasters their medical history and everything else all over the internet

 

[RobotLady]

“I’ll try and update you guys (on Instagram stories) at much as I can but obviously the priority is capturing footage for the vlog”

She is seriously deranged… she’s taken her three young children Disneyland Paris; why is the priority not making memories with her children? The whole trip is just another business transaction, in fact her children’s upbringing is purely content at this point. Fake smiles, re-takes and directed holding hands and skipping. They are all going to resent her as they grow older and struggle with social skills and independence because of her.

We also need to do a Disneyland Paris Bingo.

My bingo card:
-Fake crying under sunglasses when she sees the castle.
-All 5 of them sharing 1 portion of chicken tenders.
-A “must-have” dole-whip, that I’m convinced she doesn’t even like but is desperate to be like other Disney vloggers
- Daddy of 4ish goes off and does his own thing
- Poses with characters and co-ordinating loungeflys held out (whilst the next excited child in the queue is wondering what is taking so long as the middle-aged woman takes many photos on multiple cameras)
-Most of the trip being centred around the girls, in particular princess Z.
- moaning, lots and lots of moaning

 

[hmc1203]

Another morning ,another moan on insta !

This morning it's because she couldn't just walk in to a hospital department and book a appointment ,oh Rhi really does think she is so special and so important that she can do that.

Complaining that she has been suffering for nearly 3 years but only done something about it last year ( in the middle of a pandemic!) and expects to be seen straight away - watch out hospital she will shame you on insta if you don't give her what she wants and stamp her feet and have a tantrum because she is the great and powerful Rhi from Wales don't you know .

Then she says she's having a laproscopy!!! Just like that !! I have endometriosis and waited 4 years for my laproscopy and she thinks she can just walk in to a hospital department and book one !!

Get to the back of the queue you stupid woman and wait your turn like everyone else . Disgusting that she has complained about the hospital cos she can't get what she wants

 

[Loopybiscuit666]

She literally only wears Disney clothes or Joules these days, it’s embarrassing.

She must look like a right tit on the school run in her spirit jersey and loungefly bag

 

[Fatface]

Feels like she is literally trying to prove they are autistic as this wouldn’t be normal behaviour for a 5 or 7 year old. The photo is so unnecessary- my kid went through a phase of doing this as a toddler, strangely enough I never took a photo

 

[Millie2023]

My friend’s mum turned his room into a “spare room” when he went to uni, she totally neutralised it and left him a little bit of storage space
To him, it communicated that she didn’t really want him back, we was only welcome like a hotel-type guest (don’t stay too long)
It upset him, he didn’t have a base at a time when he was finding his feet and needed some sort of reassurance and security

It’s not so much the act itself, it’s the message it sends.

 

[AliceInWanderLost]

So she says her kids need the routine of school ect yet takes them out of school for disney?

they only require routine when it suits her - predominantly when she's claiming to be an expert on autism and share her tips. in reality, she has proved time and time again that all the kids are able to cope with a change in routine, especially as her disney content shows they can stay up late/get up earlier, eat at different times and adapt to a total change in routine every time they go on holiday. she mentions their need for structure and routine when she is attempting to exaggerate the impact of their ASD, solely for the purpose of content.

 

[Lookyloo]

There is absolutly no need for that picture. Who the fuck goes and gets their phone to take a picture, let alone put it on a public social media account. Speechless

 

[tsi0303]

I’ve unsubscribed. She’s made me so angry. I’m a teacher so I’ve seen parents go through this process in so many ways, the ones who have genuine concerns which quite often we agree with, the ones who want an excuse for bad behaviour and/or bad parenting, even one parent who phoned shouting at me because I “hadn’t made her child sound bad enough”.

She has wanted this for the wrong reasons in my opinion.

 

[Barmybarney]

Wait for the Covid "caught again" 6 in my kid's class came down with covid over the weekend,, (or she will keep them off school because of going to Disneyland Paris

She can't keep the kids off school this week don't you know how much stuff she has to get done this week..she is very very busy!

 

[jadakizz]

I wonder if they do have money, their old house was huge and so beautiful, they must have made a good profit on that and I wonder if any left over as they did downsize and the whole “reno”, white walls, kallax look doesn’t look expensive..my assumption has been that the Morgage is paid off and they have money left over. My assumption is that her husband is a high earner in his business.

Everybody is entitled to do as they please, but based on what I’ve seen of Rhi, I am very surprised by her “quiet summer”. She obviously doesn’t have to share her private life but she’s not shared any photos of her kids at the park, at the beach, splash parks or doing absolutely anything outside of the house. She would take them to b&m though. Saying she hasn’t had her usual morning exercise walk on the school run? Wtf has she been doing? Not running around after the kids and taking them out.

I’m so tired of her complaining about catching up with work. She seems more bothered about work, and I do understand that challenge and the mum guilt when you have to make ends meet, but she’s not making any money! I’m a single work at home mum without a car and autistic child and still managed to do things with my kids and not complain about work all the time. I know we should be lifting each other up and not tearing each other down but there is no logic to what she is doing and she is self inflicting.
As a single mum and my childrens fathers not being involved, I would die to have a good hard working husband involved with the kids and to be able to do normal family things. It’s not her fault I’m in my situation but I just look and think you do not realise how good you have it. I can’t fathom keeping your kids indoors all summer and your husband watching your kids while you work for nothing. They could have some lovely family days out away from the camera that do not cost a lot if money is an issue.
There is no positive legacy achieved with her business. She’s running her family to the ground. I don’t say this to be spiteful, I say it with great sadness for all of them.

I also wonder if her husband has said no to holidays because he’s fed up with being on camera and that she has to find her own.
After the 2 shitty years we had with covid, you’d think she would want to make the most of the summer with her kids being able to do things again without covid restrictions.

She was asking about whether she should colour grade her videos a few months ago so she obviously sees herself as the next big thing.

What is colour grading a video?

 

[Loopybiscuit666]

Both of her Instagram logos are just her and the girls! Speaks volumes!

 

[Ziggzaggz]

What has she posted?

One of the girls pooed in the bath, so she posted a pic of it on instagram

 

[Lookyloo]

Excuse me but her periods are debilitating...how many trips and holidays away has she had this year. She posts everyday and goes about her life. It doesn't look debilitating to me.

(My disability it effects my day to day so this pissed me right off...and my 4 month old had me up all night so im more cranky)