Confrontational. I don't think it's a bad or negative thing to confront people, not to cause trouble, but when the need arises. When there is a reason to. Self protection and self preservation is key.
Gaslighting is emotional and mental abuse. Speak to your local council - they will find you accommodation at a women's refuge where you will get support and advice in becoming independent.
Do you ever get bad nightmares (I've just woken up from one) ?