She still hasn’t explained how she managed to attach herself to her son via her teeth. I imagine her reply would be:
“Whilst holding my (not at all upset) child, I noticed that he had a loose thread on one of his many (overpriced, gifted) outfits. Having forgotten that I have had braces for longer than I’ve had a son, I went to chew off the loose thread with my teeth. Unfortunately, Wilby then went to look past me so he could still watch Octonauts whilst I was attempting to remove the thread with my teeth and it somehow managed to become wound round my braces. I panicked and grabbed my phone to use it as a mirror, accidentally scrolled through the camera options to “video” and pressed record without realising. I tried calling for help but I had to whisper because I didn’t want to scare my son, who was attached to my teeth and perfecting his nervous laughter - he was NOT TRAUMATISED. Realising my family were ignoring me, I carried on looking in the mirror and accidentally filming myself whilst walking to the kitchen, which is totally safe, thank you. I then continued to look in the mirror whilst Josh did all the hard work, as usual. Once my mouth was removed from my son’s clothing, I realised I had been filming and accidentally uploaded the content all over the internet but next time I’ll do it your way because you definitely know best, thanks for calling me a liar
”