Pregnancy

[Tui]

How far along are you?

I love looking at nursery pictures but have decided we aren't going to do one. Our second bedroom is a big double room and it will be way more helpful keeping it as a spare room for the first 6 months and having parents stay to help. Sad I miss out on the cuteness but we need to be practical in a flat.

We do have it styled more as a lounge though and have a sofa bed rather than a permanent bed so I will probably go there sometimes for night feeds.

26 weeks. Have bought the paint and have a cot, but he’ll be next to us in a snuzpod for the first 6 months. Would be good to get the nursery done before delivery though just so we don’t have the hassle of trying to do it around a baby. We’re lucky to have a 3 bed house so the main spare room will be for parents/family to stay over (covid permitting). If we were staying in our 2 bed flat then we would do what you have.

I found out both times. I’m so impatient, plus it’s more practical imo and I like to be prepared over surprised. We even paid for a private early gender scan second time. Knew I was having a boy straight away, saw his junk on the screen and called it before the lady even said anything.

I saw his little winky on the scan too!! we were finding out anyway but I saw it at the start and when she told us the sex at the end it wasn’t a surprise anymore

 

[Stimpii]

I found out both times. I’m so impatient, plus it’s more practical imo and I like to be prepared over surprised. We even paid for a private early gender scan second time. Knew I was having a boy straight away, saw his junk on the screen and called it before the lady even said anything.

We had a private gender scan this time as partners weren’t able to attend any scans.

My other half has always wanted a girl,
whereas I wasn’t bothered either way, but as this is our last baby I was glad he finally got a girl

 

[LittleMy]

We had a private gender scan this time as partners weren’t able to attend any scans.

My other half has always wanted a girl,
whereas I wasn’t bothered either way, but as this is our last baby I was glad he finally got a girl

I wasn’t at all bothered when my second was a boy, I was quite excited that my son was going to have a little brother to play with. We’re planning on trying for a third sometime next year, and while we’d be happy with a healthy baby no matter what, we have both admitted we would love to have a girl as it would also be our last - don’t think my body could take anymore c-sections. Congratulations on your pregnancy, I wish you the very best.

 

[Stimpii]

I wasn’t at all bothered when my second was a boy, I was quite excited that my son was going to have a little brother to play with. We’re planning on trying for a third sometime next year, and while we’d be happy with a healthy baby no matter what, we have both admitted we would love to have a girl as it would also be our last - don’t think my body could take anymore c-sections. Congratulations on your pregnancy, I wish you the very best.

Yeah I was so happy when my 2nd was another boy. Had so many ‘aww that’s a shame’ comments and it made me so mad. So then we’ve always been asked when we’re having a girl and I was like ‘er never’

This baby was a lockdown surprise

 

[Tui]

Yeah I was so happy when my 2nd was another boy. Had so many ‘aww that’s a shame’ comments and it made me so mad. So then we’ve always been asked when we’re having a girl and I was like ‘er never’

This baby was a lockdown surprise

It’s incredible what people say to you when you’re pregnant isn’t it?? I miscarried in April, when I got pregnant with this baby and subsequently saw my doctor for something unrelated they asked me first if I was “still pregnant” and then if it was planned!

 

[LittleMy]

Some people are so thoughtless. When you’re pregnant it’s like a free for all, everyone thinks they’re entitled to chime in with their opinion/daft remarks. Unsolicited advice plus pregnancy hormones is a recipe for disaster. I fell out with my own mum so many times during my first pregnancy because she was so insensitive.

 

[Stimpii]

It’s incredible what people say to you when you’re pregnant isn’t it?? I miscarried in April, when I got pregnant with this baby and subsequently saw my doctor for something unrelated they asked me first if I was “still pregnant” and then if it was planned!

I had a miscarriage before each of my boys and people would still ask when we were trying again after it happened. Some people have no clue.

I know how hard pregnancies after loss are so sending you lots of love

 

[littlepup]

You pretty much get given whatever midwife is on shift in hospital at the time.
My first pregnancy, I didn't even have the same midwife for my appointments once.
Was a different one every time!

My biggest worry this time, I understand there's a pandemic going on but I feel Pregnant women's health's are being sacrificed. I have had my blood pressure or urine checked at all yet and I'm 25 weeks.
I ended up buying my own strips for urine because I was so worried about it.
And it still won't be checked until my very first in person midwife appointment in the middle of January!

Did they not give you an in person element of the booking appointment? Take your bloods etc?

Re breast feeding. To me it’s like there’s some kind of cult going on with some Mums that heavily push it. I’m in some antinatal FB groups and the same ladies pop up on anything feeding related ‘have you considered BF, it’s such a good option. Join us over on xyzbreastfedgroup’. Then it’s all about golden boobies, breast milk jewellery, dry feeding, comfort nursing and starting/ending whatever ‘journey’. There’s Mums asking how to get their kids to keep feeding when they don’t want to because they’re ‘not ready to give up their bf journey’. Any Mum that’s thinking of giving up is bombarded with a million options not to until you’ve spent a fortune on lactation specialists. This is across numerous groups, not just one hardcore one. My healthcare professionals have said nothing but it’s personal choice, it’s good to try if you can though for the health benefits whereas the other mums are all over everyone.

My family all breastfed whereas MIL didn’t. My family think if you don’t breast feed you’re really missing out whereas MIL thinks B feeding a child over about 1 is the weirdest thing going and OH is a bit in the dark ages about it too. I can see it being quite an obstacle
(I’ll do WTF I like obviously, but you just don’t need the judgement do you)

 

[MrsJones83]

I am planning to breastfeed but as this is my first baby I obviously have no idea how I will find it. One thing I don't like is the mental gymnastics to make bottle feeding on par with breast milk. Ultimately not everyone can breastfeed for various reasons and bottle feeding is a totally fine method to feed your baby, but in an attempt to not shame bottle feeding mums there seems to be a new huge resistance to accepting that breast milk is better nutritionally. It just seems anti science to me.
If I can't stick with breastfeeding I will happily feed with formula but I can acknowledge the benefits of one without rubbishing the other.

It is interesting I've seem lots of comments where people complain about how breastfeeding is too heavily pushed these days. I'm 30 and when I was born in NI the hospital put babies right on formula. I have loads of younger cousins and not one of them were breastfeed because the hospital pushed formula instantly. I think advocating for breast is better than those days at least.

Exactly this! I KNOW that nutritionally breast milk is best, and I’ve always breast fed at birth until about 16 weeks, but then they’ve all been formula fed.
I’ve been asked prior to birth about how I want to feed but I’ve never been made to feel guilty or pushed either way.

 

[WhatABore]

Did they not give you an in person element of the booking appointment? Take your bloods etc?

Re breast feeding. To me it’s like there’s some kind of cult going on with some Mums that heavily push it. I’m in some antinatal FB groups and the same ladies pop up on anything feeding related ‘have you considered BF, it’s such a good option. Join us over on xyzbreastfedgroup’. Then it’s all about golden boobies, breast milk jewellery, dry feeding, comfort nursing and starting/ending whatever ‘journey’. There’s Mums asking how to get their kids to keep feeding when they don’t want to because they’re ‘not ready to give up their bf journey’. Any Mum that’s thinking of giving up is bombarded with a million options not to until you’ve spent a fortune on lactation specialists. This is across numerous groups, not just one hardcore one. My healthcare professionals have said nothing but it’s personal choice, it’s good to try if you can though for the health benefits whereas the other mums are all over everyone.

My family all breastfed whereas MIL didn’t. My family think if you don’t breast feed you’re really missing out whereas MIL thinks B feeding a child over about 1 is the weirdest thing going and OH is a bit in the dark ages about it too. I can see it being quite an obstacle
(I’ll do WTF I like obviously, but you just don’t need the judgement do you)

I had to go to a clinic thing where they took bloods just sending 1 woman in after the other.
No urine or anything checked though, just went into a big room, sat on the chairs in the waiting room and called in 1 by 1!

 

[Tui]

You pretty much get given whatever midwife is on shift in hospital at the time.
My first pregnancy, I didn't even have the same midwife for my appointments once.
Was a different one every time!

My biggest worry this time, I understand there's a pandemic going on but I feel Pregnant women's health's are being sacrificed. I have had my blood pressure or urine checked at all yet and I'm 25 weeks.
I ended up buying my own strips for urine because I was so worried about it.
And it still won't be checked until my very first in person midwife appointment in the middle of January!

Has nobody done this at all? I had mine done at booking, 16 weeks and 25 week appointments! I know second and subsequent pregnancies you see the MW less but that is taking the biscuit!

 

[MrsJones83]

I find it amazing how differently each NHS trust works.

All my midwife appointments have been face to face. I had a booking in appointment at 8 weeks, then my 16 week appointment. I had urine and BP checked at each, and full blood count at the first one. I’ll see her again at 25 weeks. I have a community midwife so I see the same one each time.
My consultant appointment was on the phone, but that’s fine as my pregnancies are usually straightforward, I just struggle with the birth!

 

[jazyblu]

Exactly this! I KNOW that nutritionally breast milk is best, and I’ve always breast fed at birth until about 16 weeks, but then they’ve all been formula fed.
I’ve been asked prior to birth about how I want to feed but I’ve never been made to feel guilty or pushed either way.

Yeah, and just to clarify I'm not remotely suggesting people are shamed for not BF or should be pushed into it. But also it is a very emotional time and someone's not being pushed into breastfeeding is viewed as another as a lack of support.
Equally a midwife trying to support someone who has previously mentioned wanting to try breastfeeding, so is encouraging her to keep trying with different latch techniques if she is struggling could be viewed by someone else as being too pushy.

 

[WhatABore]

Has nobody done this at all? I had mine done at booking, 16 weeks and 25 week appointments! I know second and subsequent pregnancies you see the MW left but that is taking the biscuit!

Nope. Every single one has been over the phone!
My 28 week appointment if the first one in person!
It's really been getting to me!

Yeah, and just to clarify I'm not remotely suggesting people are shamed for not BF or should be pushed into it. But also it is a very emotional time and someone's not being pushed into breastfeeding is viewed as another as a lack of support.
Equally a midwife trying to support someone who has previously mentioned wanting to try breastfeeding, so is encouraging to keep trying with different latch techniques could be viewed by someone else as being too pushy.

I've always wanted to try but with both my previous babies, I've said I possibly want to try it and the midwives have said both times that if I do, they'll probably keep me in hospital longer until I get the hang of it.
Which actually put me off because one of them said sometimes they can keep you in a week for it?!

 

[Sw4]

Can I join? First pregnancy, 9+6 today and I have my harmony test and early scan on Tuesday when I'll be 10+3, then my NHS scan on the 23rd.

I am so so anxious. I feel like I've had a pretty easy ride so far in terms of symptoms (mainly just tiredness and loss of appetite in the evenings, only very mild nausea) so I feel like at some point everything is going to come crashing down. I can't even think about the birth or other baby stuff atm, I'm hoping the scan on Tuesday shows good news.

 

[MrsJones83]

Nope. Every single one has been over the phone!
My 28 week appointment if the first one in person!
It's really been getting to me!



I've always wanted to try but with both my previous babies, I've said I possibly want to try it and the midwives have said both times that if I do, they'll probably keep me in hospital longer until I get the hang of it.
Which actually put me off because one of them said sometimes they can keep you in a week for it?!

Wow, I’m really surprised by this.

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Where abouts are all you guys? Interesting to see the differences.

Up in Scotland (where I'm from) I'm in the Glasgow trust, I've got a face to face booking appt in a couple week then a scan at 12 weeks and I think one round about the 20 mark.
Also cos I've been in and out of the EPU they've been good and let my partner come to all of them

 

[WhatABore]

Wow, I’m really surprised by this.

I kind of presumed everyone else's was the same!
I am on my 4th attempt at a phone call with the surgical team (or whatever they are) that discuss csections ect because their phone lines never seem to work. Everyone else's has been fine.
I keep asking if I can go in and have it as possibly needing a csection, it's important but they won't let me. They said they just have to keep trying the phone calls. So 4th attempt at the end of the month

Where abouts are all you guys? Interesting to see the differences.

Up in Scotland (where I'm from) I'm in the Glasgow trust, I've got a face to face booking appt in a couple week then a scan at 12 weeks and I think one round about the 20 mark.
Also cos I've been in and out of the EPU they've been good and let my partner come to all of them

I'm in Bedfordshire

 

[Stimpii]

I’m in West Yorkshire and I’m glad this isn’t my first as appointments have been a joke.

Currently partners can stay for 2 hours after the birth and then no other visiting

 

[Tui]

Can I join? First pregnancy, 9+6 today and I have my harmony test and early scan on Tuesday when I'll be 10+3, then my NHS scan on the 23rd.

I am so so anxious. I feel like I've had a pretty easy ride so far in terms of symptoms (mainly just tiredness and loss of appetite in the evenings, only very mild nausea) so I feel like at some point everything is going to come crashing down. I can't even think about the birth or other baby stuff atm, I'm hoping the scan on Tuesday shows good news.

Good luck! First trimester is a killer if only because you don’t look pregnant and possibly not many people know you are pregnant, yet you’re tired, sick, starving hungry etc and there are so many worries swirling around. I had a first trimester similar to you - only one vomit, mild nausea that came and went and responded well to snacks lol and second trimester has been similarly straightforward. Fingers crossed!