If you feel that pressured tell them all to bring a piece of food each Christmas should not make you feel like that.
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Iām a parent and if it wasnāt for the kids I wouldnāt bother. Used to love it, but as Iāve gotten older I can now understand why my older relatives used to moan about it. Itās lost most of its meaning. People getting into debt for one day, parents trying to keep up with each other over how many Christmas events/activities they can take their kids to in the build up (events which are so expensive). All the stupid fads/trends like Christmas Eve boxes, twit on the Shelf, matching festive pyjamas. Itās sickening. Winter itself is a hard time for a lot of people anyway. I always get a bad case of SAD, it feels never-ending. Itās no sooner done and dusted then itās December once more and so the whole rigmarole starts all over again.Now I'm nearing 30 I've experienced over a decade of Christmases as an adult, the same pressure to buy things, send cards, attend work team meals, see family over several days, buy too much food etc.
I have made a few changes this year:
- Limited who buying presents for so I can save money for my own needs
-Using brown paper and string to wrap presents - cheaper, lol. and less commercial
- Not sending cards, partially because I can't be bothered, partly because of the paper waste, and partly to save money. At least with a spotlight on consumerism and unnecessary waste, I can say "It's called being good for the environment" ahaha.
-Not stock piling so much food weeks in advance. I need to eat better anyway and soooo much money can get wasted on food that makes you feel bloated and sick. Instead, I'll buy some mincemeat and some pastry, make a few dozen mince pies and that's my lot. "Christmas" dinner will just be bog standard chicken, potatoes and vegetables.
Luckily at work my team has a deadline to meet (20th Dec) and noone can be bothered to decorate the office so in a way, work is a nice escape this year from the buildup. The only thing I've not managed to swerve is the department Christmas meal, because work is paying for us and shutting the office, and I don't want to use up a day's leave to avoid going in, lol. Call me Scrooge but I hate large-party meals. When you have food allergies and end up picking the only crappy menu choice, and you don't drink, it's hard to enjoy when everyone else is getting increasingly more merry lol.
Hubby and his family have never been big on Christmas so there's no real pressue on me to "perform Christmas" but let's face it, for many, Christmas is an expected performance, you gotta make it happen, for some that means eating beans for months (), for others it's spending time with people that threy don't get on with.
I do however like all the crappy telly and rom coms whilst eating a mince pie, having hot chocolate, and also I am grateful that working in education sector, means we get paid to be home for a week and a half (very grateful to have time off for Xmas and New Years).
There's absolutely no hate on anyone who loves Christmas as much as Zoella, if that's what makes you happy then that's amazing. I think what jades a lot of us is the 2 or 3 month build up, the escalating tendancy to spend pennies "because Christmas", mass consumption, and then the pressure to perform/provide.
Maybe my views will change if I become a parent, but for now, I'm happy to be low key, and spend with the few people in my life that matter most, whilst also having some much needed time off work, post crazy deadline! Is it just me or does December always have lots of crazy deadlines running at the same time as the build up to Xmas? I'm feeling so run down right now!
I love my kidsā joy when they see their new toys, but they have autism. If we didnāt make a big song and dance of it every year, then they wouldnāt know any different.
You should them to all chip in and help. Ugh. I hate that it always gets left to one person. Youāre gracious enough to host for them, Iām sure they wouldnāt mind doing their bit.
My best Christmases are the ones when we donāt have any visitors, stay in our pjs all day, eat good food, watch festive telly, sod the cleaning and let the kids play with their toys.
Yes. Could you do pot luck style where everyone takes something? Make a list of what you need, stuffing, yorkies, veggies, etc. xIām a parent and if it wasnāt for the kids I wouldnāt bother. Used to love it, but as Iāve gotten older I can now understand why my older relatives used to moan about it. Itās lost most of its meaning. People getting into debt for one day, parents trying to keep up with each other over how many Christmas events/activities they can take their kids to in the build up (events which are so expensive). All the stupid fads/trends like Christmas Eve boxes, twit on the Shelf, matching festive pyjamas. Itās sickening. Winter itself is a hard time for a lot of people anyway. I always get a bad case of SAD, it feels never-ending. Itās no sooner done and dusted then itās December once more and so the whole rigmarole starts all over again.
I love my kidsā joy when they see their new toys, but they have autism. If we didnāt make a big song and dance of it every year, then they wouldnāt know any different.
You should them to all chip in and help. Ugh. I hate that it always gets left to one person. Youāre gracious enough to host for them, Iām sure they wouldnāt mind doing their bit.
My best Christmases are the ones when we donāt have any visitors, stay in our pjs all day, eat good food, watch festive telly, sod the cleaning and let the kids play with their toys.
I mean i donāt hate Christmas and it doesnāt make me sad. Iāve just never been that fussed about it.
As an adult I find it disappointing. I never get what Iāve asked for no matter how much or little it costs. DH just seems to show no drive to buy me a present. He only has to buy for me so he has no excuse.
So yeah as an adult it seems I make all the effort and no one gives a second thought to me. That might sound selfish and ungrateful but thatās how it makes me feel.
As an adult I find it disappointing. I never get what Iāve asked for no matter how much or little it costs. DH just seems to show no drive to buy me a present. He only has to buy for me so he has no excuse.
So yeah as an adult it seems I make all the effort and no one gives a second thought to me. That might sound selfish and ungrateful but thatās how it makes me feel.
Have you read the book Love Languages or done the quiz? It is amazing. Have you told DH how it makes you feel? I wouldn't stand for that, lol. I would make a list and email it to him.
No bubbletea I havenāt. I have sent lists and emails and links to items.
He said this evening āI thought you wanted UGG slippers?ā Uh since when. Weāve been married over 20 years and iām the person who takes shoes and socks off ASAP when I get home as I canāt bare having hot feet.
He said this evening āI thought you wanted UGG slippers?ā Uh since when. Weāve been married over 20 years and iām the person who takes shoes and socks off ASAP when I get home as I canāt bare having hot feet.
You should both do it, it can actually be really beneficial.No bubbletea I havenāt. I have sent lists and emails and links to items.
He said this evening āI thought you wanted UGG slippers?ā Uh since when. Weāve been married over 20 years and iām the person who takes shoes and socks off ASAP when I get home as I canāt bare having hot feet.
Honestly, I would sit down and say: "I feel like you don't pay attention to my needs or wants. I sent you a list to help as I know that it can be difficult to think of gifts. When you don't pay attention, it makes me feel unheard." or something like that.
I find saying the phrase "I feel" or "it makes me feel" really helps in a conversation like that.
To add to the convo above: I wrote lists for my husband for about 5 years and he used to ignore them and just freestyle it with tat I never wanted or ever needed. Needless to say we don't gift each other anymore and I buy what the hell I want. Not as fun, but less frustrating.
Phewwwww I thought it was only me who felt the pressure!!!! Money ... Food..... Family..... every year Iām the host and to be honest Iād rather get on a plane and sod off to somewhere hot... no one ever offers to cook.... no one contributes .... Iām left to organise the whole Shabam.... Iāve got grown up kids and a husband who thinks helping is peeling carrots !!!!! Yeppp !!!! More fool me...
Iām the same and tbh itās really starting to get on my nerves
So neither SO or I's families live in the same city so we have Christmas by ourselves, lol. After reading folks comments on here, it makes me happy how easy it is. I couldn't be bothered with the stress of hosting people.
Iāll be happy when itās all over ... I can then sit in me jarmers with prosecco and sleep
Iāve been with my partner 13 years and he has not bought me one single birthday card present or Christmas present
never nothing 
WHAT? I must have gotten really lucky? Hahaha.Iāve been with my partner 13 years and he has not bought me one single birthday card present or Christmas present
Seriously
his addicted to work so is never around and doesnāt agree with buying people gifts for the sake of a birthday or Christmas. Obviously we get the kids stuff but he just doesnāt see the point.
For me there seems to be a kind of magic in the air, everyone seems to be a bit more cheerful, the food, the songs, the lights.... just slap my arse and call me Tinsel Tits.
Ha, I was going to say something similar. i enjoy the sense of a shared experience, that when youāre at the shops on Christmas Eve everyoneās doing a similar thing, thinking a similar thing, have similar plans for the next few days, does that make sense? Itās a kind of nice communal feeling. And I like the daily grind stopping for this one time a year.
Iām very aware when I say āeveryoneā it doesnāt really mean everyone. Homeless people, lonely people. And my Christmases as an adult are actually not much fun at all because of my dysfunctional family.
My aunt is a very lonely person and itās also her birthday so itās a sad day for her. But she takes her loneliness out on us being critical, scathing and generally mean. Sheās like that all year round but December 25th is the worst for obvious reasons. Iām sympathetic but at the time it can be a struggle when itās happening , particularly when she lashes out at my 95 year old grandma...
Thatās why the pressure of christmas is definitely too much. Someone earlier in the thread said if youāre struggling in any way itās so tough. I completely agree with that and I think struggling doesnāt just mean financially. If youāre struggling with loneliness, depression etc like my aunt itās torture (especially when itās your birthday too.)
But as social media and showing off expensive gifts becomes ever more part of our lives, I canāt see it getting better. I hope when I have children I wonāt feel compelled to spoil them. Of course kids will always want lots of crap but when I was one I understood that I was never going to get everything I wanted, and I appreciated what I did.
I like that saying āsomething they want something they need, something to wear, something to read.ā It seems pretty sensible.
I enjoy it yes but I feel the pressure for it to be amazing is ridiculous.
I utterly hate how excited some people get from f#cking August. Plus christmas is in winter and winter is shi#e and long so why people count down to christmas is beyond me as it just means closer to January and February which are long and rubbish!
I utterly hate how excited some people get from f#cking August. Plus christmas is in winter and winter is shi#e and long so why people count down to christmas is beyond me as it just means closer to January and February which are long and rubbish!
I love December,putting my tree up and the sitting all cosy in the dark nights. I love going a wee festive day out to browse the Christmas market- donāt have a huge family so donāt have lots to buy for. I work with kids so itās a fun time of year and we close for a fortnight which is the best thing ever. Christmas day in itself is pants if Iām honest other than dinner,my other half works it and son is a teen and canāt be arsed with it. But everything else about Christmas is 