Phoebe Court #22 Gardening no longer her favourite task, instead it’s back to the hot dog flask

[swipe_up]

Nah man I can’t cope, why does she look like she’s just done 2 months on I’m a celebrity

 

[Stimpii]

Thread suggestion.

Phoebe Court #23 She’s making a list, she’s checking it twice, money saving tips, who needs her advice.

 

[Wophie]

Was just preparing dinner and looking through the freezer when old Mick popped into my head.

Why does she make such a big song and dance about freezer meals? She subtly pushes the idea they're bad and shouldn't be done. When reality for a lot of families is they have to buy frozen food and meal prep for the freezer or they won't afford bills etc.

But then my brain went deeper. She loves banging on about energy saving too, childcare costs, and now the new thing is the fucking secondhand freezer she doesn't need. Yet she lives in a huge house, has two cars, endless holidays and spends £5K a week on the weekly food shop (you can't include gifted Hello Fresh in that).

So I have come to the conclusion that Mick is getting some sort of sexual thrill by roleplaying as working class. She probably fills in a Universal Credit form in the bedroom whilst being mounted from behind by Jimbo

 

[bracket:bracket]

Phoebe Court #23: To do list: eat, blink, breathe, repeat

 

[Dadcallsmekatya]

Why is she trying to turn into a parental advice account? I’d rather seek out Joseph Fritzl than ask her what to do but also I know how to parent my own kids

 

[francesthemute]

It’s not even about the fact that she opted out for Vesper really imo.

It’s the becoming-a-fucking-expert-on-the-ins-and-outs-of-the-whole-fucking-thing.

She forms an opinion and then declares herself an authority who is here to inform everyone else about it.

I declined my (incredibly average ) kids being weighed, my reasons are my own, what I didn’t do was lecture the fuck out of everyone else and tell everyone my way is THE way.

How-To Life by Phoebe Court
- lost weight
- become an expert on it
- get pregnant
- become an expert on it
- give birth
- become an expert on it
- breastfeed
- become an expert on it
- wean a baby
- become an expert on it
- etc etc

- buy an electric car
- become an expert on it
- plant hanging basket
- become an expert on it
- buy clothes
- become an expert on it
- clear out a drawer now and then
- become an expert on it

Until the very end of time.

 

[Notforthegram]

 

[swipe_up]

Awww I properly feel sad for Mick tonight, clearly a fan of the queen and was most likely at her coronation

 

[Globetrotter]

 

[francesthemute]

Spending money, buying things she doesn't need, to fill a void.
Eating crap, overeating things she doesn't need, to fill a void.

It's complete consumerism. Her life is about having things, and feeling better because of having things. That's a bit sad too really, doesn't she ever just do something quietly for herself without it being a fucking hashtag, challenge, sped-up story for engagement?

Give me tea cups and saucers
Give me My Little Pony plastic crap
Give me free deodorant
Give me Hello Fresh
Give me commission
Give me likes

I'll give you:
My children's privacy
My dignity
My problems
My self-congratulations
My failings
Mememememememememe, me, all the time me

Give me validation
and more free stuff, so I can declutter it again
and again

She's fucking rank.

I should unfollow her and this thread but you lot are too funny and she just gets more and more unbelievable so I shall unfollow nothing

 

[WhatABore]

"It honestly feels like I've blinked and this last school year has gone"

Blinked which time?

 

[Esbeepea]

Maybe writing AD at the start of a paragraph wasn't on one of her to-do lists. To be fair she's got a lot on her plate. Literally.

 

[SpindleWhorl]

Every now and then, when I'm going on about my life, I stop and gasp in disbelief that she called her children Vesper and HERBY My brain can't process it

I think she named Vesper after the character in Casino Royale then tried to re-enact the Venice drowning scene in a pool in Lanzarote

 

[Esbeepea]

Thread title suggestion: Stole a freezer from the poor. Jim's giving Alan what fore 🏌🏽️

 

[ChubClubThug]

@ChubClubThug where art thou?

I'm alive! I've neglected my Tattle like Mick neglects her feet and kids!! I've had back to back weddings and a holiday that's killed me off

Looks like I've got a Swan banquet and a half to get through

 

[Lauz2427]

These “influencer” cunts who record or take pictures of themselves crying are just the most attention seeking people on the planet

 

[longtimelurker86]

Guys I’ve been laid in bed since I woke up at 645am because I tried to follow Micks lead and wrote a list, but I didn’t put ‘get out of bed’ on there. Oh well. Tomorrow is a new day!

 

[ChubClubThug]

Nooo she has got to be trolling us!!!!

Put a ginger wig on tuk-tuk and she's her mother's double - the poor sod!

She's like a little fat war evacuee nah, that pic fresh from an Enid Blyton novel I refuse to believe she's younger than me!

 

[swipe_up]

I guess they don't have arcades wherever it is she used to go as a kid abroad

Christopher Columbus still hadn’t discovered America when she was a kid so im guessing she didn’t go too far

 

[Sophinch]

Omg she has really got to me tonight.
"WE" no thats just you that thinks like that. There has been a 9 year shot dead near me and this so called mother is complaining about queuing for ride.