Pet death - Dealing with the inevitable

[Facehugger]

Fancy looking after my cat while I'm on holiday . I could do with a few weeks off the 5am starts . I always connect with animal lovers. I always judge people by how much they love their pets.

I wouldn't mind at all. If people can't be kind to animals then they're not worth much in my book x

 

[1001 others]

Sending much love to all those who have lost their furry friends .

I have no words of advice - the only thing that helps is the passage of time. It is so hard.

 

[TruffleTrifle]

Hi everyone

Having to deal with the likelihood that my babygirl will have to be pts tomorrow or very soon. She’s an 18 year old tabby and she’s been my shadow ever since we adopted her. I’m absolutely heart broken and can’t remember life without her.

 

[Stan]

My dog is the love of my life - as I often tell my husband. I know I’ll be absolutely devastated should that day eventually come. So no judgement here. You just have to grieve in your own way.

 

[Facehugger]

Thank you @Lolly505, @Facehugger, @Platinumbarbie, @Platypusfattypus and @Upintheair83 for all your replies, I really deeply appreciate it

I decided to go over and spend more time with him today. It’s such a weird feeling. He’s got the vets tomorrow as he has a suspected tumour - so it’s just a waiting to see what the options are and the decisions my family will have to think about then. But he does seem happy and comfortable at the moment, we sat in the garden watching him enjoying the sunshine which was really nice



Totally the same! I feel like I’ve dealt with human deaths better than this.

Bless you, you're welcome, and not alone in how you are feeling X enjoy every minute you can just now and take one day at a time. He will know when the time is right too, it's very strange, I can't explain it properly. My old lad just kept cuddling up & licking me, he wasn't usually so fussy but got ever so clingy. And on the dreaded day found the strength in his legs to jump into the car, whereas for weeks before that I'd had to lift him in. It's like he knew and was telling me it's fine Mum, come on, I need to go.

Hope you can stay strong and make sure you keep coming back to here to chat xx

 

[MaxieMoo]

I feel for you. You have to be selfless and do what is best for them despite the fact that you know it will break your heart. When our cat became so unwell they said we could take her to a specialist and they would do various tests etc (she had some internal bleeding but they couldn't be sure why). I knew it would have been selfish to put her trough that. The vet was very kind. Between us we decided that putting her to sleep was the kindest thing. It was a Saturday morning (emergency appointment). They said they would keep her until Monday and she would go to be cremated. I went out of my absolute mind over that and refused. The vets managed to reach the owner of the crematorium who agreed we could take her straight away. My husband and I drove there with her body. I told her over and over how loved she was. It was one of the worse days of my life. It was 9 years ago and I still miss her so so much.

She was an ex feral cat. We gave her the best life. Even at the end we did everything right by her. I take comfort from that but the loss doesn't ever really go away for me.

Sending you strength and a huge hug. It's ok to feel like this xx

Grief is always the price we pay for loving. So very true x

 

[JoeBloggs]

Hi everyone

Having to deal with the likelihood that my babygirl will have to be pts tomorrow or very soon. She’s an 18 year old tabby and she’s been my shadow ever since we adopted her. I’m absolutely heart broken and can’t remember life without her.

I’m so sorry. My tabby was pts 4 weeks ago, there is a big hole in my heart. But I know he was so loved and had such a wonderful life with us. I was pretty inconsolable for about two weeks but we made a photo album and talked about the photos which has helped massively.

I did all his favourite things on the day and have him as many cuddles as I could. Thinking of you

 

[MaxieMoo]

The loss of my cat was harder than the loss of my parents. I didn’t have a close relationship with them to be fair and I think the reason my cat meant so much to me was because I had her from when I was 14 and I felt like she was my family. Her death devastated me, I can still cry if I think about her too much. The day after she died we took her to be cremated and waited to bring her home, her ashes are in a little cat casket and have been on my pillow since that day. She slept on my pillow every night it was her favourite spot. Its been over a year and a half now and I can’t bring myself to move them even though I sometimes bang my head I know it’s probably not normal but it brings me comfort and it’s in my wishes to be buried with her
My heart goes out to you all, it is their vulnerability and how we are responsible for them that makes it so hard xx

The grieving process takes time. It's different for everyone. It's helps you feel close to her and that's ok. I kept my cats little casket in a wicker basket in my bedroom for a while. It contained her ashes and her favourite toys. Eventually I was able to move it when the time felt right. It meant I loved her no less but it felt ok. It's now in the bedroom next door tucked away safely. Whatever feels right for you is what matters. In time you may feel able to do that. Her little soul will still be close to you.

 

[Charsior]

I had to have my childhood pony of 17 years down a few weeks ago, and I still cant believe its happened. I still have my other old boy and my mums horse but my little pony was before these two and my old boys best mate. They were little and large. He got really poorly and developed a large cancerous mass in his head which crushed his throat and was slowing stopping him eating and breathing. I was really unsure if I wanted to be there when we decided to call it a day. He got to spend some time in the field with the boys and then a few of us fused him. My mum and my sister held him and said goodbye to him. I waited until he was gone to go see him. It still haunts me and writing this has me in tears. for 17 years I saw him almost every day. he was the coolest dude ever.

 

[JoeBloggs]

I'm sorry to jump on this thread, but I needed to tell someone. We have to put out cat down tomorrow, I am so upset. We rehomed him last year and he was honestly the most wonderful cat, he is my baby. He was hit by a car 4 months ago, made a really good recovery despite coming home with a feeding tube. But he's now paralyzed from the waist down due to a rare complication on his spine. I feel so guilty making this choice for him

 

[JoeBloggs]

Just giving this a little bump up for @JoeBloggs hope you are surviving the day, been thinking of you, bless you. Xx

Oh that’s so kind, we’ve got just a few more hours with him. I keep getting waves of guilt but I know deep down it’s right for him.

 

[Facehugger]

This is a lovely thread. Pets are so special and it's nice to hear others find their deaths just as hard as I always do.

I've had a pretty rough year losing my 31-year-old mare Poppy, who has been part of my life for so long that I now have to learn how to live without her with no real memory of life before her. She was truly the perfect horse and the best friend I could have asked for. Just after she went, my 9-year-old collie started to deteriorate and unfortunately we had to have him PTS too, way before his time but he was a rescue with very sad inbreeding issues so the vet said we were lucky to have him reach 9.

What keeps me going whenever I lose a pet is the knowledge that I did the best I could to give them the perfect life, and all the joy they brought me over the years. It's harder than losing family in a way, as you are responsible 100% for their life, wellbeing and death. Not an easy thing to process. Take it easy on yourself <3

You can have a hug just for being a caring animal lover too I'm pleased Luna started this thread, it's like you say, nice for people to chat to others who've gone through the same x

 

[Gembo]

The grieving process takes time. It's different for everyone. It's helps you feel close to her and that's ok. I kept my cats little casket in a wicker basket in my bedroom for a while. It contained her ashes and her favourite toys. Eventually I was able to move it when the time felt right. It meant I loved her no less but it felt ok. It's now in the bedroom next door tucked away safely. Whatever feels right for you is what matters. In time you may feel able to do that. Her little soul will still be close to you.

Thank you, yes I hope one day I kind of feel ok to move her, still somewhere close but I don’t feel ready yet, she really was my baby. I ended up on antidepressants after she passed it really did hit me hard so I understand everyone posting here. the love between a person and a pet is just so special.

@Lunamoon22 how you’re feeling is normal, I felt the same way leading up to my pets passing. I will be thinking of you

 

[Lunamoon22]

Just a little update... He has his x-ray today, the tumor is eating away at his leg bone, it doesn't look like it's spread to his chest.

They've taken a needle biopsy and are testing to see if it's aggressive. He's feeling very sorry for himself at the moment, I imagine he's feeling very sore from being pulled about for the x-ray.

We're all taking things a day at a time.

It's so hard to mentally battle the selfishness Vs kindness thoughts. The selfishness of wanting him to stay with us for as long as possible (which will mean putting him through the amputation) Vs the thoughts that the kindest thing to do would be not to put him through all that if that makes sense.

 

[Hulahoopsfromthe80s]

Honestly talking has helped me. We lost one of our boys 18 months ago. Its still heartbreaking.

Although tonight kid 3 (age 7) had a book from school were the dog died, all of us in tears book is going back tomorrow we cant cope with it sod reading it 3 times, kid 3 is now cuddled up with me heartbroken about how he misses him
We do still have the dogs brother so he's helped abit but im not sure how longer will have with him

 

[MaxieMoo]

I lost my boxer girl last year aged 10, she went from a totally crazy very healthy dog to a super poorly pup within 6 months. She had a brain tumour. My only advice would be the obvious , make the most of your pup. Someone came and took some professional pics for me. We did some bucket list things. I’d make her a cooked breakfast whilst we ate one. McDonald’s stuff she’d never usually have. I live by the beach so lots of swims with her Mumma (me)
We let the vet keep a close eye on her so because I never wanted her to be in pain. When the time very heartbreakingly came the vet came to our house. Sedated her so she was calm and I held her paw. They honestly break your heart. But it’s worth every minute. Thinking of you.

So sorry for your loss

I think you posted a picture of her a while back on our other pet thread. Gorgeous girl x

 

[Facehugger]

I'll share something nice hopefully to make you smile. So, my old cat who had to be PTS when the vet came out a couple of years ago used to sleep in my son's room. Since it happened, my younger little cat had never gone in there, it was so strange. She just wouldn't.

Well, this week she's decided she can now finally fill the gap, she is in there all the time cuddling up and sleeping right in the middle of the bed, I struggle to get her out!

 

[Lunamoon22]

Giving this a bump up for @Lunamoon22. Hope you're ok today? x

I'm ok, I think... The vet said they need to do an x-ray this week to see what's going on in the leg and also said they have to check his chest to see if there's been any spread - but he hasn't been wheezing or coughing or anything, so hopefully it hasn't.

I think we're pretty certain that we wouldn't want to go down the amputation route, I dunno if it's strange saying this but I can't bare the thought of him leaving leaving this world not 'whole'.... if that makes sense... It just wouldn't be him, and it would break my heart seeing him so different after all these yesrs, I just don't think he'd recover from such a change in his life either.

So now just got to wait and see just what we're dealing with.

 

[Facehugger]

Things over here are steady at the moment. The vet took a needle biopsy the other week, to see what kind of tumor it is (bone or soft tissue), but the results came back inconclusive. They said to mum they could take a larger biopsy sample via an op or just take his leg but mum decided to leave everything as it is.

Whichever type of tumour it turns out to be wouldn't be treatable, and he seems quite comfortable at the moment. They said that theyre pretty sure it hasn't spread anywhere else so that's good. Mum's doing ok, but constantly worries about if she's doing the right thing.

We're just taking it one day at a time. I've not yet had the courage to ask her about having the vet come visit when the time comes. But I will try and speak to her about it. It's such an awkward topic to try and talk about.

Thank you everyone who's posted and shared stories on here, I do read them all - sometimes it's hard for me to reply. I'm sorry for the losses, I hope everyone is doing okay.

Luna while he's happy & comfortable, there's no rush to decide anything lovely X he might go on for a good long time like that, who's to say, if nothing changes for the worse then you're doing the right thing just......not doing anything for the moment except taking each day as it comes.

As long as little boy is happy enough, just enjoy it, and stop worrying for now, I know that's easy to say but if you spend every day fretting it will spoil every day you have with him (if that makes sense). Xx

 

[MaxieMoo]

This lovely little thread has really choked me up tonight. Much love to everyone dealing with pet loss x