Perimenopause Moans #3

[BerlinILoveYou]

Im just wanting to say hello, I'm so glad to find this thread.

Preparing for my first appointment with my GP to discuss HRT. Got more sympathy from chatGPT than from my partner.

I feel so alone, and sad. My peri has caught me by suprise. My sadness isn’t just about the physical changes— it feels like a loss of control, a shift in identity, and almost a grieving process for my body and life I've known. And as it seems to have come so suddenly, before I felt ready, it’s even more jarring.

I feel like my identity has been taken away.

I don't know how to get back to a place where I feel stable, strong and vibrant.

Sorry for the brain dump.

 

[50sGirl]

Well ladies. I’m finally there!
Today marks 1 year since my last period so today is menopause day and from tomorrow I’ll forever be post-menopausal.
Now if I don’t wake up tomorrow with zero belly fat, no more insomnia, no more hot flushes and no more migraines then I’ll be seriously disappointed!
I managed to get through it without HRT (not judging those who take it, but for medical reasons I chose not to) and I do think I’ve had it easier than most.
The worst for me, besides weight gain, brain fog and insomnia, is the migraines. I’ve had them since I was 20 (I’m 55 now). They’ve always been hormonal so I was hoping they’d stop when my periods stopped. Unfortunately this year I’ve had 2 of the worst migraines I’ve had in 35 years - one was just 2 weeks ago and I was close to calling 111 for morphine. So perhaps they weren’t just hormone related after all which is very disappointing.
Do symptoms stop now? Even though no periods for a year, I’ve still had hot flushes, etc (although less frequent than before) so will these peter out eventually? I’ve not seen a doctor for years so I thought I’d ask you knowledgeable lot instead. Thanks.

 

[Madbadsad]

Has anyone paid privately to see a menopause specialist. Is it worth doing.

I’ve just paid to see a menopause Dr and I felt it was worth it.
I’ve just turned 47. The worst symptoms for me have been related to my mental health. Anxiety, especially related to work. Loss of confidence, brain fog that causes panic. Lack of energy and motivation. Feeling like I want to be alone and not socialise. No interest or enjoyment in things I used to. I felt I was going mad.
Since December last year I have seen three different GPs at our practice. They were all incredibly reluctant to prescribe HRT. I’m a health care professional and well informed but they argued and pushed back. Saying I needed antidepressants (which I’ve never needed previously). The third GP finally prescribed HRT at the lowest dose but they have refused to increase it over the last seven months.
Anyway in complete desperation feeling I was losing my mind I coughed up £250 to see a menopause Dr. She was amazing. Really listened to me. I had 45 minutes with her.
She explained everything from diet, exercise, supplements.

And as I suspected said I needed more oestrogen. The dose I was on was so low it wouldn’t be doing anything. I got the medication in the post the next day.
To be listened to and validated made me feel so much better and hopeful and like I wasn’t some crazy woman.

My heart goes out to anyone struggling with their symptoms. It’s brutal

 

[Pinkstuff]

Following my last appointment at the GP, I've just looked at my NHS app at the GP notes and the GP has put.. 'Patient thinks she's in perimenopause. Patient is only 44 so much more likely to be an anxiety disorder'. WTF.. I'm well within the age range to be perimenopausal. Also, I was finally prescribed HRT so why was I put on that if the GP thinks it's just anxiety. Gosh, I hate my GP surgery so much. Happy to say though that all my perimenopausal symptoms are so minimal now and I've told my husband I no longer want a divorce!! I thought I was going mad and that I didn't love him anymore when it was just this perimenopausal rage making me hate everyone and everything!!

 

[veronica71]

Thread recap

aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhwhatisthisrandomsymptomwhyamIcryingfuckoffeveryoneffswhydontgpsgettraingingareanyoneelsesearsitchingsuckstobefemale

 

[floggersunited]

The worst thing for me is the weight gain. Up over a stone and it’s not from over eating etc, just hormones. It’s just totally knocked me and I feel absolutely vile.
As if women havnt been through enough and then you have menopause.

 

[CallaLily]

I've taken the plunge and decided to contact a private gynacologist, the receptionist at my GP told me it took her 6 years to get sorted and she went private herself. She said they will probably wait to do anything until I've seen the gynacologist - but has put me on the wait list to speak to someone about the coil. I'm done and not waiting until the middle of next year. It'll be less Christmas presents for people this year

They probably think you're a middle aged, miserable, menopausal what not anyway and won't be surprised

More seriously, your health and well being are a far higher priority, and your loved ones would or certainly should understand if you have to prioritise your budget.

You may have only been joking, but sometimes presents, giving money etc does get out of hand and it can be useful for one event to trigger a review and cull. Slightly veering off-topic, but it's also an anxiety and mental health issue. A few years ago, MrLily was made redundant, nearing Christmas finances were still tight. I had been doing gifts or money for my cousin's kids, the stepdaughters and their kids. So, I explained to everyone we weren't doing anything for anyone at Christmas, and it would probably then extend to Birthdays.

I haven't ever resumed. We never received anything from them anyway. My cousin's kids are now adults, Mr Lily's side don't even send us Birthday or Christmas cards and we never or rarely see any of them, so, I just thought, sod it and never returned to sending anything.

 

[SunshineSally]

Thank-you for the love and your kind words. My face had dropped but I was too blinkered to realise. Turns out that I have Bell's Palsy. Joyous! Glad it is that and not a stroke. I'm hoping that it clears up soon xx

 

[missaustraliaaddict]

It's really shit. And all I get from partner is "I don't want to hear about it, stupid women and their hormones, just get on with it "!

 

[IndominusRex]

This thread is honestly a godsend!!!!

 

[Drea1984]

For me the very worst part of peri menopause has been the driving anxiety. I’ve never been a confident driver but now it’s hell.
I have to drive too. No choice. Some days I can’t eat with the worry I’m so scared.

 

[zetta buttons]

I just want to go back to how I felt when I was mid 30s. Able to run and exercise all the time, wasn’t cross all the time, didn’t lose my shit or my stuff and didn’t bloat like a balloon at the drop of a hat.

I now realise why my mum appeared to hate me during my teens. I was an arse but she was dealing with me and this.

 

[Borrible]

Literally cried with relief reading some of the recent posts.

Have been quite forgetful recently, and always repeating myself and getting words the wrong way round. Or just saying the wrong bloody word! So I ran here looking for guidance.

Honestly thought I had early onset dementia or a neurological illness

 

[neverbeeninfluenced]

Not a moan but I just want to share somewhere that yesterday was the first time in about 6 months I haven’t wanted or needed a nap and I actually had some energy and motivation. I could cry with happiness. It was my non working day and I did the food shopping, made lots of food for my parents as I’m a carer. Got on top of all the washing, changed all the beds and then played with my 6 year old. Normally any of those activities would have wiped me out. My husband said looks like you’ve had a good day and my response was yes I didn’t feel like I was dying today. I knew I was low but I didn’t realise how low I’d actually got as for me it was a gradual decline and was easy to dismiss isolated symptoms as something else.
for info I first got HRT in Nov 2023 after struggling for a while but had previously been refused in May 2023 as I was under 45, I was 44 and 9 months! Anyway the original dose of HRT got me to a certain level but back in December I started feeling like crap again but put it down to Xmas and being a busy person. It was only in March that I thought it might be peri related as many of my original symptoms were back with a vengeance such as insomnia, allergies, skin irritation and dizziness. My HRT dose was increased and it’s took 9 weeks to get me to this level.

 

[neverbeeninfluenced]

Sorry to all who work over Christmas and new year but thank Christ I’ve finished work until January.
sleep has been elusive and I’m just dead on my feet. One night woke at 2.30 and couldn’t get back to sleep, next night I was awake until gone 3. I just can’t cope anymore and really I should have rang in sick, one day I was on a call and felt physically sick with tiredness. Didn’t feel this bad with a newborn.
What doesn’t help is that I feel too tired to make good food so don’t bother eating so there is then even less energy in the tank. Obviously have a supportive husband who says things like I woke at 5:30 so I’m tired too, I’ll just have cheese and crackers for dinner to save you cooking

 

[50sGirl]

6 days to go and I hit menopause!
I’m expecting to feel spectacular and full of energy and my belly fat to disappear the next day!

 

[Bettyboo2475]

Has anyone else just gone completely off sex, I just don't want it ever again, I'm 49, married with 2 kids. My husband suggested it the other day and I couldn't think of anything worse. Tbh he's always been pretty selfish and one day I just decided I'm not giving anymore if I'm not getting anything back. This probably isn't anything to do with perimenopause, I just don't give a anymore

 

[Splatattack]

I’m in my 50’s and have drank most of my life. Stopped in February for 6 weeks and when I tried to have wine I was so poorly the next day. Obviously I’m a massive lush so I kept trying to drink it, as it was how I relaxed, but have finally came to the realisation I have to give it up. Been a week sober and I had my first full nights sleep last night of 9 hours. Last time I slept that long I was in my 30’s.

 

[CallaLily]

Does anyone else feel the older you get the more selfish you become?

I'm not sure if it's selfish but I'm certainly less tolerant of other people's shit!
Plus, you're realising more half your life has already gone and to focus on what is important to you.

 

[Winthropp Tuesday]

Reading your posts on not feeling it or feeling too exhausted to cope with this time of year.

I’m just coming round from a complete meltdown in front of my husband, over Xmas.

We only have one thing to do, and that’s go to his parents with sister in law, brother in law and nephew, but the thought of it all was getting too overwhelming for me… 8 hours couped up with five people I’d otherwise pay to avoid…
normally I’d grit my teeth and get through.

This year I’m just too anxious, knackered and overwhelmed. Hormones are all over the place and I honestly feel like I’m going to snap. Just told my husband to ring his folks and tell them I can’t do it. Which to be fair he did… now I just want to hibernate forever.