Perimenopause #4 post your woes

[Fanny Muchmore]

I'm on holiday in Paris (and oof course I've got my damn period, 2 weeks early ) I want to indulge in all the beautiful food but in the back of my mind I keep reminding myself that I'm supposed to be on a diet, ive already gained 20lbs.

I was in the shower this morning and as it is with hotel bathrooms, there are mirrors everywhere. I caught a glimpse of myself naked and I just wanted to cry. I am just such a horrible shape. It's not even a normal 'large' shape, i wouldn't be so bothered if it was. I'm LUMPY and deformed looking, it's utterly disgusting.

 

[PinkandTwinkly]

I'm on holiday in Paris (and oof course I've got my damn period, 2 weeks early ) I want to indulge in all the beautiful food but in the back of my mind I keep reminding myself that I'm supposed to be on a diet, ive already gained 20lbs.

I was in the shower this morning and as it is with hotel bathrooms, there are mirrors everywhere. I caught a glimpse of myself naked and I just wanted to cry. I am just such a horrible shape. It's not even a normal 'large' shape, i wouldn't be so bothered if it was. I'm LUMPY and deformed looking, it's utterly disgusting.

Honestly. I just accept holidays I will gain weight.
No tracking. Eat what I want. I start tracking as soon as I'm back. I find it easier to keep the motivation up by having odd holiday weeks off.


The handy thing about being short sighted is i don't accidentally catch sight of myself naked in a mirror.

Seriously tho, I'm sure you're not deformed. Maybe a bit lumpy and a bit saggy. That's getting old but you're no different to millions of other middle age woman. Estrogen dropping changes where our bodies hold large.
Its biology we can't fight.
We all over critical. I bet you don't look at other woman, and think they look deformed (but they're probably having the same personal crisis)

 

[Fanny Muchmore]

I have terrible posture (for various reasons but in particular due to HEDS) and a hump on my neck. So I do look like every picture of an 'old hag' you can probably think of. I should just lean (ha) into it and get a shawl and start pointing my wizended finger at kids to freak them out.

 

[GinaLianosdeckofcards]

Emotionally I feel how I remember feeling when I was about ten. Every single thing seems like a big deal, I'm unsure of myself all the time and the idea of intercourse repulses me.

The dry skin, eyes, lips, shrunken fan, large belly, vertigo, lack of appetite, lack of motivation, joylessness, irritability. Sweats that turns to chills. An inner heat that makes me feel my urine is bubbling inside me. Itching skin. Inner ears that prickle. Insomnia for days. 40 hours awake sometimes. The next thing I'm asleep for 15 hours. I have CPTSD, fibromyalgia and am autistic. Unmedicated ADHD as the assessment has yet to happen. Within 18 months I'm told. I also have lichen sclerosus. It is grim. For the latter I use vaginal oestrogen.

If things seem too cheerful I feel devastated. Same with sad stuff.

Doc says hormones normal and my periods are regular. They are but they're heavier and painful. I'm 40. I promised my doc I would try another antidepressant and give it a good go. Then I said I want hrt to be looked at. Well I'm now a year on and if anything feel worse than I did on the last antidepressant. I must go back but you know the issue is...a woman seems more nutty than ever when she's telling medical folk "hey...I'm not nuts this time...". I get the "Sure, Jan" looks.

My bits are sagging and I've lost the plumpness of youth all over. 36-40 has been an ageing time for me on body and face. Varicose veins have appeared on my legs. My hair is thinning. I don't know myself inside or out.

Tomorrow I've my first mammogram. I can't sleep because of it even though I've no discernable lumps. It's only screening due to difficulty checking my LL saggers and some family history.

The idea of death would be appealing if it didnt mean finality. To just sleep for a while and come back and all be well for another 30 or 40 years

Nothing comforts me. I am the woman that will not be comforted. But everything riles me.

I've read all of your posts with interest an understanding of you all on some level. My love to everyone. X

I agree with every single word you've written. It's just horrendous. Been like this a few years now,but put it down to something else that happened to me. Finally booked a Dr appointment of course I don't get the opportunity to choose who I see,so just hoping for the best and to be taken seriously. I honestly cannot take much more

 

[flap a doodle dandy]

Back to being an itchy mess again (despite the amazing MIxa cream) so thinking it might be prickly heat as very humid today and maybe not hormone related. The rage about it is definitely menopausal rage though

 

[SadieBagels]

After a little advice. I’ve gone back private for my hrt after my gp got nervous about the high dose of oestrogen I’m on. During the appointment she put me on 2 x progesterone tablets daily.
I’ve been taking them at night but I now have raging insomnia which is killing me off. Does anyone else have this?
im debating between taking them in the morning or vaginally. Any info would be great. Thanks

 

[MsGilmore]

After a little advice. I’ve gone back private for my hrt after my gp got nervous about the high dose of oestrogen I’m on. During the appointment she put me on 2 x progesterone tablets daily.
I’ve been taking them at night but I now have raging insomnia which is killing me off. Does anyone else have this?
im debating between taking them in the morning or vaginally. Any info would be great. Thanks

Has your progesterone dose been increased?
I’m not an expert by any means but have debated taking progesterone tablets vaginally myself having been refused pessaries. Google said that someone taking them vaginally should be monitored so I don’t know where I stand with doing it without telling the GP. I don’t think I tolerate progesterone well so I’d rather it go straight to where it needs to.

 

[JGirl1]

After a little advice. I’ve gone back private for my hrt after my gp got nervous about the high dose of oestrogen I’m on. During the appointment she put me on 2 x progesterone tablets daily.
I’ve been taking them at night but I now have raging insomnia which is killing me off. Does anyone else have this?
im debating between taking them in the morning or vaginally. Any info would be great. Thanks

I had awful side effects when I first started but my doctor suggested taking them vaginally and it was 100% better. Once the first few weeks were over and my body was used to them I switched to oral and had no problems x

 

[SadieBagels]

Has your progesterone dose been increased?
I’m not an expert by any means but have debated taking progesterone tablets vaginally myself having been refused pessaries. Google said that someone taking them vaginally should be monitored so I don’t know where I stand with doing it without telling the GP. I don’t think I tolerate progesterone well so I’d rather it go straight to where it needs to.

Yes it has. I’ve decided to take them in the morning instead of night but I’m not sleeping any better

 

[SadieBagels]

I had awful side effects when I first started but my doctor suggested taking them vaginally and it was 100% better. Once the first few weeks were over and my body was used to them I switched to oral and had no problems x

Thank you. I might try this. X

 

[DoubleEntendre]

Apologies in case this has already been discussed - but has anyone tried the menopause supplements Jude? Came up on something I was reading and I would love to hear if it's worked for anyone.

Thank you!