Parents of Toddlers with Autism/Global development delays/Speech Delays

[BBC1HD]

There's a couple of off topic threads I read often on here and when it gets onto the subject of Sen and sen kids.......the amount of comments that are so negative is both upsetting and causes so much rage.

I am really starting to notice that parents with neurotypical kids really don't have any idea what autism involves. Of course, why would you if you didn't need to? But man, they think any traits can be just taken away by better parenting.

Meltdowns - just parent better. Be more firm
Still wearing nappies - lazy parenting
Stimming at a restaurant - haven't taught the child to be quiet.
Use of iPad at restaurant to keep the noise down - terrible parent.
Use of iPad at all - bad parent.
Non verbal - obviously don't talk to child enough
Still in a pram - too lazy to teach a child to walk nicely.

Of course they don't know about sensory overload, stimming to regulate, elopement, gestalt language processor, pathological demand avoidance.

If you try to explain any of that they just don't believe it.

They think you can get an autism diagnosis super easily. They don't seem to realize that the referral is looked at and accepted or rejected BEFORE you even get to an initial appointment with a Paediatrician. And the wait time for your initial appointment is 18 months ..if you are lucky.

Autism acceptance is a crock of tit. The judgement is still there but they are just a little more quiet about it.

 

[Upintheair83]

There's a couple of off topic threads I read often on here and when it gets onto the subject of Sen and sen kids.......the amount of comments that are so negative is both upsetting and causes so much rage.

I am really starting to notice that parents with neurotypical kids really don't have any idea what autism involves. Of course, why would you if you didn't need to? But man, they think any traits can be just taken away by better parenting.

Meltdowns - just parent better. Be more firm
Still wearing nappies - lazy parenting
Stimming at a restaurant - haven't taught the child to be quiet.
Use of iPad at restaurant to keep the noise down - terrible parent.
Use of iPad at all - bad parent.
Non verbal - obviously don't talk to child enough
Still in a pram - too lazy to teach a child to walk nicely.

Of course they don't know about sensory overload, stimming to regulate, elopement, gestalt language processor, pathological demand avoidance.

If you try to explain any of that they just don't believe it.

They think you can get an autism diagnosis super easily. They don't seem to realize that the referral is looked at and accepted or rejected BEFORE you even get to an initial appointment with a Paediatrician. And the wait time for your initial appointment is 18 months ..if you are lucky.

Autism acceptance is a crock of tit. The judgement is still there but they are just a little more quiet about it.

This!!!! Some of the generalisations iv read are ridiculous!

 

[BBC1HD]

This!!!! Some of the generalisations iv read are ridiculous!

It cuts like a knife. And because this site is anonymous and people share their true unfiltered feelings it's really opened my eyes to how many people actually think this way and what they really think about SEN children and their parents.

There is no tolerance and there is much judgement.

If Sen children cause any disruption to the neurotypicals then they must be kept out of public until they fit the mold.

 

[Beefcake-tits]

It cuts like a knife. And because this site is anonymous and people share their true unfiltered feelings it's really opened my eyes to how many people actually think this way and what they really think about SEN children and their parents.

There is no tolerance and there is much judgement.

If Sen children cause any disruption to the neurotypicals then they must be kept out of public until they fit the mold.

The mold is made to be broken. My chap isn't gonna be in a mold to fit societies ideals anyway and I love him for it.

 

[LittleMy]

Small minded people who can’t get their heads around the fact that some children are just different. It’s always treated like it’s the parents’ fault too, especially us mothers. “You didn’t play with them enough” and other baseless assumptions. It’s a load of bullshit and they can only know that once they’ve been through it themselves.

I was devastated when my firstborn was on the pathway towards diagnosis as a toddler because I didn’t understand autism and I blamed myself even although I know I’m a good mum and have done everything I can for him. When his brother came along and was eventually diagnosed too it confirmed to me that it wasn’t something I had done wrong at all. It’s how they are wired, and that’s ok.

I’m at the point now where I could give a duck what someone else thinks about how I raise my children and we don’t have to explain anything to anybody. My boys can be themselves (I don’t treat them any differently to how I would a NT child, just more aware of their struggles and individual needs) and I will always defend them and their right to be.

 

[tinklypom]

My child is that child in nappies, using a pushchair, on an iPad…I’m slowly stopping worrying about what others think.

It’s so hard. All of it. And I don’t think it’s possible to ‘get it’ unless you’ve been through it.

 

[BBC1HD]

Had our EHCP finalised last month. Now the senco has gone on sick leave potentially until September and she's put nothing in place regarding section F.

Our private SLT went in for a preschool visit and said the staff need training and need to learn strategies as they don't seem to have a clue.

I am this close 🤏 to losing my mind.

 

[Livelife01]

Had our EHCP finalised last month. Now the senco has gone on sick leave potentially until September and she's put nothing in place regarding section F.

Our private SLT went in for a preschool visit and said the staff need training and need to learn strategies as they don't seem to have a clue.

I am this close 🤏 to losing my mind.

I hope you get it sorted asap. Always a fight for our kids!

 

[Rmd0609]

Does anyone find it hard to be around children your child’s age and younger who are ‘developing typically’?
I admit I struggle to because I find it triggering how easy they communicate and interact and it makes me so sad that my daughter doesn’t find things like that easy and I worry if she ever will be conversational etc. I hate that I think like that and I wish I didn’t get upset and sad. I love my daughter so much but I admit I wish things were different. It’s causing problems with my husband and he is getting so fed up with me not wanting to go to family events etc or crying after I have been to them and said I’m a bad person for wishing I could change our daughter.
I don’t want to feel like this at all but I’m really struggling to change my mindset about things.

 

[tinklypom]

Oh my goodness yes. A thousand times yes. I’m fine with older children, but younger or the same age and it’s hard. Very hard. I’ve got to visit a child next week who is the same age as mine and I’m dreading it. She’s a lovely child, which only makes things worse! I haven’t found a solution yet, but wanted to empathise.

 

[Livelife01]

Yes yes yes. We went away this week and seeing everyone my boys age interacting with their parents and getting involved in the shows just made my heart hurt. Then I feel bad for feeling like this!

 

[tinklypom]

My child just isn’t sleeping tonight. I feel like I’m losing my mind.

 

[BBC1HD]

My child just isn’t sleeping tonight. I feel like I’m losing my mind.

It's the worst isn't it! Is it the change in routine being off preschool/school?

Since the kids broke up from school mine hasn't been going to bed until about 10-11pm

 

[tinklypom]

Thanks. I’m not sure what the problem was to be honest. She was definitely tired. She ended up crashing out at 10:20. I fell asleep sooner after. I’m just so exhausted but recognise that I’m not the only one.

To be blunt, I’m dreading the summer holidays. I always thought I’d be doing lots of arts and crafts and being super mum, but my child can’t do those things. And she can’t go to playschemes. The workload is relentless.

 

[Livelife01]

Has anyone attempted potty training? Background info - my 3.5 year old has limited understanding but he’s starting mainstream in September (with an EHCP) so we decided to slowly introduce the idea to maybe so he could be dry in the day at school, obviously no pressure.
After a day or two of putting him on the potty , him doing the odd wee on it he now keeps taking his nappy off and running around starkers and crouching down to do a wee on the floor. I think he feels the sensation of going which I guess is great.
Just wondered if anyone else has contemplated trying when their children are developmentally delayed x

 

[tinklypom]

I tried and failed miserably. The nursery agree that she’s not ready. Obviously that doesn’t mean your child isn’t ready!
I have heard that it’s better to train them to use the toilet and not the potty (when they are a bit older) or you end up having to teach the transition from potty to toilet as well.
Also, there’s an app that was recommended on various Facebook groups- SeeMeGoPotty. It’s a social story. You can personalise the character a bit to look like your child. My child loves the app, but hasn’t yet made the link to her actually using the toilet.

 

[Livelife01]

I tried and failed miserably. The nursery agree that she’s not ready. Obviously that doesn’t mean your child isn’t ready!
I have heard that it’s better to train them to use the toilet and not the potty (when they are a bit older) or you end up having to teach the transition from potty to toilet as well.
Also, there’s an app that was recommended on various Facebook groups- SeeMeGoPotty. It’s a social story. You can personalise the character a bit to look like your child. My child loves the app, but hasn’t yet made the link to her actually using the toilet.

thank you! Yes i will check that out.
he has done a few wee’s on the toilet before his bath. But makes sense about the transition!

 

[Rmd0609]

Has anyone attempted potty training? Background info - my 3.5 year old has limited understanding but he’s starting mainstream in September (with an EHCP) so we decided to slowly introduce the idea to maybe so he could be dry in the day at school, obviously no pressure.
After a day or two of putting him on the potty , him doing the odd wee on it he now keeps taking his nappy off and running around starkers and crouching down to do a wee on the floor. I think he feels the sensation of going which I guess is great.
Just wondered if anyone else has contemplated trying when their children are developmentally delayed x

Potty training children with additional needs - ERIC

Information on potty training for children with additional needs and sensory issues including delayed development, ASD and physical disabilities who may take a little longer to become toilet trained.

eric.org.uk

My 3.5 year old has done a few wees on the toilet, I know she’s not ‘ready’ but reading the above ERIC website on training children with additional needs it sounds like they don’t always show the typical signs and to try it anyway.
I’m basically going to try over the 6 weeks summer holidays as my daughter will be with me the whole time as her nursery is term time only.

 

[Livelife01]

Potty training children with additional needs - ERIC

Information on potty training for children with additional needs and sensory issues including delayed development, ASD and physical disabilities who may take a little longer to become toilet trained.

eric.org.uk

My 3.5 year old has done a few wees on the toilet, I know she’s not ‘ready’ but reading the above ERIC website on training children with additional needs it sounds like they don’t always show the typical signs and to try it anyway.
I’m basically going to try over the 6 weeks summer holidays as my daughter will be with me the whole time as her nursery is term time only.

Thank you for this, il check it out x