We’ve started getting stronger feelings for each other. It’s complicated, I can’t believe how heartbroken I am but if I changed my life to be with him then I would upset so many peopleHappens to me all the time.. Some of my best friends are people I’ve met online. I’ve learnt to enjoy them while they last and except that people come and go in life.
What was it over? Can it be resolved?
Only a few months but speak every day for hours, or at least we didA lot of my good friends over the years have been online. Friendships, like relationships, take work and I think it may be a little harder to manage certain expectations like time spent communicating with each other. It’s also easier for misunderstandings especially if communication is primarily through text. I find calling is always best for important conversations.
How long have you known each other?
Was he expecting you to up root your life to be together like it was the only option?
Have you tried talking about it since the argument?
If only it was that simpleIs it Whitty?
That’s it, so intense. It’s strange in that wayYeah. I was friends with ”A” for ten years (I’m a young adult now but I was a kid when we first met) there has always been flirty sort of chatter between us but not a peep in terms of photos or facetime and he ghosted me in august last year (august 10th, yes I remember it, I am a saddo) out of the blue. I still think about it now. Still wait for him to come back. Mostly for closure because at this point I think he’s cat fishing me but that’s a long painful story Posted about it here too. It is shit isn’t it.
I think online friendships can get really intense really quickly because you tend to meet one another with a particular interest, rather than going out on dates and drawing all of that out of someone slowly… it all comes at you fast. It can be tough to maintain as well because of the distance (arranging calls or facetimes) or the medium e.g. I’ve fallen out with people because we have mis communicated because we talk through text.
For you I think… give it some time, a breather, see if he reconnects or apologises or whatever is needed for you to resolve the argument. If he doesn’t then that just shows you the type of person he is and that he doesn’t really value your connection that much or he’d make an effort to get in touch and work things out rather than just ghosting - and you deserve better than a guy who‘s automatic decision is to ghost, it’s so immature. Although I will always miss and want closure from “A” I’m at the point where I realise he may not be the ideal man I have in my head and clearly doesn’t value me or we would have spoken long before now and this may be the same Realisation for you sadlyI will say I hope it doesn’t go in that direction for you, I hope you iron things out
Yes we facetime, we haven’t met due to living in different country’s and Covid restrictionsHave you ever met this person in real life? have you ever had proper video call converations with them where you’ve been able to see them and communicate with them directly - not just via messages/emails etc??
be very careful with “meeting” people online; most are never who they say they are and all will be withholding something or exaggerating some aspect of themselves. It is very easy to assume a different identity online and it’s very easy to fall for whatever you are being told…..
think about it logically- why has this been an online friendship? Why have you never met?
That’s lovelyI’m 16 years into an online friendship but we do see each other as much as we can, (he lives 3 hours away) text all day and call each other every night.
oh this is so lushMy fiancé started out as a penpal I met online on a language exchange site. I totally understand how intense online friendships can become, it’s like you tell each other a lot more than you would in person because it’s anonymous. We talked every day for two years until I was planning a trip to his country and he suggested we meet up (had been Skyping every few days so knew he was legit) and when I met him he confessed he was in love with me and I said I felt the same. Spent the entire trip with each other and we’ve been in a long distance relationship and meeting up ever since.
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