Online friendship

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Anyone else had a connection with an online friendship that’s suddenly got very deep?
we’ve now had a huge argument and I’m heartbroken about it. Never experienced anything like this before, I can’t be the only one can I?
 
Happens to me all the time.. Some of my best friends are people I’ve met online. I’ve learnt to enjoy them while they last and except that people come and go in life.

What was it over? Can it be resolved?
 
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Happens to me all the time.. Some of my best friends are people I’ve met online. I’ve learnt to enjoy them while they last and except that people come and go in life.

What was it over? Can it be resolved?
We’ve started getting stronger feelings for each other. It’s complicated, I can’t believe how heartbroken I am but if I changed my life to be with him then I would upset so many people
 
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A lot of my good friends over the years have been online. Friendships, like relationships, take work and I think it may be a little harder to manage certain expectations like time spent communicating with each other. It’s also easier for misunderstandings especially if communication is primarily through text. I find calling is always best for important conversations.

How long have you known each other?

Was he expecting you to up root your life to be together like it was the only option?

Have you tried talking about it since the argument?
 
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Is it romantic or platonic? Have you met in person or just speak online?

(I’m assuming you haven’t met)

If you haven’t met yet just think they might not be who they say they are. A woman I work with was speaking to a man for months, they FaceTimed a few times and turns out he was cat -fishing her and used an app which could edit his face on FaceTime and video. Not saying this is the case but just be aware.

If there is chance of you nesting in real life then try and sort out the argument and reconcile. If you probably won’t meet in person then move on. Someone you haven’t met in person isn’t worth getting your heart broken. It really isn’t 😓

I know it’s hard as we’re in a global pandemic and meeting people and socialising isn’t as straightforward as it was pre-COVID. But, id try and focus on your personal relationships with your friends/family and try and meet new people you can see in person. Join some local clubs if there are any available in your area.

If you carry on the relationship with your online friend I truly hope you work whatever it is out.
 
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A lot of my good friends over the years have been online. Friendships, like relationships, take work and I think it may be a little harder to manage certain expectations like time spent communicating with each other. It’s also easier for misunderstandings especially if communication is primarily through text. I find calling is always best for important conversations.

How long have you known each other?

Was he expecting you to up root your life to be together like it was the only option?

Have you tried talking about it since the argument?
Only a few months but speak every day for hours, or at least we did
 
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Yeah. I was friends with ”A” for ten years (I’m a young adult now but I was a kid when we first met) there has always been flirty sort of chatter between us but not a peep in terms of photos or facetime and he ghosted me in august last year (august 10th, yes I remember it, I am a saddo 😆) out of the blue. I still think about it now. Still wait for him to come back. Mostly for closure because at this point I think he’s cat fishing me but that’s a long painful story 😆 Posted about it here too. It is tit isn’t it.

I think online friendships can get really intense really quickly because you tend to meet one another with a particular interest, rather than going out on dates and drawing all of that out of someone slowly… it all comes at you fast. It can be tough to maintain as well because of the distance (arranging calls or facetimes) or the medium e.g. I’ve fallen out with people because we have mis communicated because we talk through text.

For you I think… give it some time, a breather, see if he reconnects or apologises or whatever is needed for you to resolve the argument. If he doesn’t then that just shows you the type of person he is and that he doesn’t really value your connection that much or he’d make an effort to get in touch and work things out rather than just ghosting - and you deserve better than a guy who‘s automatic decision is to ghost, it’s so immature. Although I will always miss and want closure from “A” I’m at the point where I realise he may not be the ideal man I have in my head and clearly doesn’t value me or we would have spoken long before now and this may be the same Realisation for you sadly :( I will say I hope it doesn’t go in that direction for you, I hope you iron things out 💜
 
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Is it Whitty? :unsure:
If only it was that simple

Yeah. I was friends with ”A” for ten years (I’m a young adult now but I was a kid when we first met) there has always been flirty sort of chatter between us but not a peep in terms of photos or facetime and he ghosted me in august last year (august 10th, yes I remember it, I am a saddo 😆) out of the blue. I still think about it now. Still wait for him to come back. Mostly for closure because at this point I think he’s cat fishing me but that’s a long painful story 😆 Posted about it here too. It is tit isn’t it.

I think online friendships can get really intense really quickly because you tend to meet one another with a particular interest, rather than going out on dates and drawing all of that out of someone slowly… it all comes at you fast. It can be tough to maintain as well because of the distance (arranging calls or facetimes) or the medium e.g. I’ve fallen out with people because we have mis communicated because we talk through text.

For you I think… give it some time, a breather, see if he reconnects or apologises or whatever is needed for you to resolve the argument. If he doesn’t then that just shows you the type of person he is and that he doesn’t really value your connection that much or he’d make an effort to get in touch and work things out rather than just ghosting - and you deserve better than a guy who‘s automatic decision is to ghost, it’s so immature. Although I will always miss and want closure from “A” I’m at the point where I realise he may not be the ideal man I have in my head and clearly doesn’t value me or we would have spoken long before now and this may be the same Realisation for you sadly :( I will say I hope it doesn’t go in that direction for you, I hope you iron things out 💜
That’s it, so intense. It’s strange in that way
 
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Have you ever met this person in real life? have you ever had proper video call converations with them where you’ve been able to see them and communicate with them directly - not just via messages/emails etc??


be very careful with “meeting” people online; most are never who they say they are and all will be withholding something or exaggerating some aspect of themselves. It is very easy to assume a different identity online and it’s very easy to fall for whatever you are being told…..


think about it logically- why has this been an online friendship? Why have you never met?
 
I certainly understand developing a connection with an online friend rather quickly. You have a common interest or many of the same interests and with technology plus a pandemic you can have instant communication with them all day long.

I had this with a friend I met online. We texted all the time, phone calls and FaceTime, and had great conversations. We connected on an emotional level. I did develop more than platonic feelings, more like a deep crush combined with the emotional bond, that were not reciprocated. However, it did not end our friendship and I think this is key to remember. A true mature friend won’t drop the bond you’ve built together simply because they don’t feel the same way. Or in your case possibly wasn’t comfortable with the speed things were moving and expectations it created? I’m not sure of your exact situation but I think you can see the point. My friend and I are still good friends to this day years later and speak regularly.

I would give your situation some time. Then reach out through email or a form of social media message like Facebook, if possible. Only to avoid having to send a wall of text through texting. Start a draft message explaining the situation and how you felt about it. Or whatever you feel you need to write to them. Don’t send it immediately. Go back to it throughout the day or over a few days. This will help you deal with any emotions it may bring up so you can prevent sending an overly emotional message. I think it’s best to have a clear head when writing it. Send it and see what happens. Allow them to make the next move. I truly believe if this friendship is meant to be then you two can work it out.

If you start talking again I strongly encourage moving to video calls if you haven’t already. Cat fishing still happens but we have more technology than ever to have video calls. I don’t think the old excuses, if brought up, are acceptable anymore.
 
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I’m 16 years into an online friendship but we do see each other as much as we can, (he lives 3 hours away) text all day and call each other every night.
 
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Have you ever met this person in real life? have you ever had proper video call converations with them where you’ve been able to see them and communicate with them directly - not just via messages/emails etc??


be very careful with “meeting” people online; most are never who they say they are and all will be withholding something or exaggerating some aspect of themselves. It is very easy to assume a different identity online and it’s very easy to fall for whatever you are being told…..


think about it logically- why has this been an online friendship? Why have you never met?
Yes we facetime, we haven’t met due to living in different country’s and Covid restrictions

I’m 16 years into an online friendship but we do see each other as much as we can, (he lives 3 hours away) text all day and call each other every night.
That’s lovely
 
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My fiancé started out as a penpal I met online on a language exchange site. I totally understand how intense online friendships can become, it’s like you tell each other a lot more than you would in person because it’s anonymous. We talked every day for two years until I was planning a trip to his country and he suggested we meet up (had been Skyping every few days so knew he was legit) and when I met him he confessed he was in love with me and I said I felt the same. Spent the entire trip with each other and we’ve been in a long distance relationship and meeting up ever since.
 
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Since I was around 14, many of my friendships have been online. Some lasted only a few months, and some for many years. I think it’s so easy to confuse things by text because you don’t know how the other person is meaning it and that is what caused most arguments / fights in the friendships I had. If it’s any consolation, most ended with making up. Hope the same happens for you!
 
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Ok, now that we have more information. He may just need a few days to process everything. If you're speaking every day then it becomes a routine and something to look forward to. I can't see being able to cut someone off over one argument at least not without discussing it.

I've had arguments or misunderstandings with online friends over the years. I don't think it is any different than an in person friendship. Knowing me, I'd probably reach out with a "can we discuss what happened" text after it settles down because I'd start to miss them. Good friendships and having friends that truly make you happy are rare. I don't see anything wrong with fighting for a friendship like you would a relationship. At the very least you can say you put in the effort.

I hope it works out for you ❤
 
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My fiancé started out as a penpal I met online on a language exchange site. I totally understand how intense online friendships can become, it’s like you tell each other a lot more than you would in person because it’s anonymous. We talked every day for two years until I was planning a trip to his country and he suggested we meet up (had been Skyping every few days so knew he was legit) and when I met him he confessed he was in love with me and I said I felt the same. Spent the entire trip with each other and we’ve been in a long distance relationship and meeting up ever since.
oh this is so lush 😭🥰
 
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It could be someone like Gary Glitter unless you have met them in person. Personally I wouldn't waste my time unless I was actually seeing them in person in real life. Anyone can make up anything online. There are a lot of genuine nice people out there but there's also a lot of slinks and scammers.
I'd just forget him if he lives out of your country, you want a relationship with someone you can see IRL not a screen.
 
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